zombie jokes

Discussion in 'Joke Board' started by JIM, Mar 30, 2012.

  1. JIM

    JIM zombie Turncoat

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    What is the difference between zombies and patched jeans?
    Zombies are dead men, Jeans are mended.

    When do zombies go to sleep?
    When they are dead tired.

    What do you call a one inch zombie?
    Tomb Thumb

    Where do you go when you want to buy a zombie?
    To the Mon-Store

    What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
    A MOM-ster

    What kind of candy does a zombie refuse to eat?
    Lifesavers

    What do you call a zombie door-to-door salesman?
    A dead-ringer

    Where do zombies go swimming?
    The Dead Sea

    Where do most zombies live?
    On dead-end streets

    Why did the zombie go crazy?
    Because he lost his mind.

    Who does a zombie take out for dinner?
    His ghoul-friend.

    Where is the safest place in your house from a zombie?
    The living room.

    What does the zombie say during a wrestling match?
    Do you want a piece of me???

    What do you call a dead bumblebee?
    A Zom-Bee

    Whats a zombies favorite toy?
    A deady bear.

    Who won the zombie war?
    Nobody, it was a dead tie.

    What did the zombie’s friend say when he introduced him to his girlfriend?
    Good grief! Where did you dig her up from?

    Why did the zombie go to hospital?
    He wanted to learn, a few sick jokes.

    Where do zombies go for cruises?
    The Deaditerranean.

    What did the zombie get his medal for?
    Deadication.
     
  2. JIM

    JIM zombie Turncoat

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    : What did everyone say about the big zombie party?
    : It was DEAD & full of STIFFS!
     
  3. Black Tattoo

    Black Tattoo The Corruptor

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    All of these are great! Thanks for the much needed laughs! I especially love the very first one. I think I shall be sharing it.

    OFTEN!
     
  4. Druid of Lûhn

    Druid of Lûhn The Little Lamb.

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    Two or three were good!

    The others just made me groan.
     
  5. JIM

    JIM zombie Turncoat

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    which ones?
     
  6. Druid of Lûhn

    Druid of Lûhn The Little Lamb.

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    jeans, living room, deadication
     
  7. AlphaAlex

    AlphaAlex Official Forum Nuisance

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    heh heh nice ones.