Writing a fight scene

Discussion in 'Original Works' started by Herickson, May 20, 2011.

  1. Herickson

    Herickson New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2011
    Messages:
    39
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Austin, Texas
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    I can't really attest to other writer's styles when it comes to writing a fight scene, but I can comment on my own. To me, fight scenes are technical and intricate. There is so much that goes into each scene. Otherwise, I for see the reader losing the train of thought for the scene.

    One of the things that defines my personal writing style is the fight scenes. Each one has a beautiful brutality to it and is designed to inspire a bit of aw in the reader. Of course, this is speculation, I don't actually know if I succeed in something so profound. One can hope though.

    Setup: This is between two guys, one is named Soren, one of the two main characters in my book "A Scholar's Journey: The Divine Tempest". He is purely a hand to hand fighter. The other is Soka, an assassin who uses a long sword. I hope you enjoy it.

    ***

    Soka and Soren faced off on the wooden dance floor of the bar. The area was wide enough for the two of them to fight and not hurt others.

    Soka threw off his dark cloak and revealed a man clothed in a black tunic and long tight fitting tan pants, bound together with a rope at his waste. His face was scrunched up in anger. He slowly drew a long sword from his belt, the blade made a hissing whisper as it was removed from the sheathe. All the while, Soka was holding Soren firmly in his gaze.

    Soren was wearing a red sleeveless shirt and loose fitting black pants. On either hand he had sturdy metal gauntlets. Soren bent down and stretched his back. He turned his neck from left to right and popping it with a series of clicks in rapid succession. Then, he proceeded to do the same with the rest of his body as he loosened up the rest of his body.

    “Don’t hold back or I am going to break you.” Soka snarled at Soren.

    Soren shrugged his shoulders, smiled, and slowly brought one foot behind his back. He put his weight on it and brought an open palm up, “Wait.” he said and put his hand up to say “stop”.

    Soka turned his head in curiosity.

    There was a band of players to Soren’s right and they had an array of instruments. The jaunty toons that brought the bar to life came out of their instruments. They had everything from woodwinds, to percussion, to string instruments in their possession and were quick skilled with them.

    Soren looked over at a band of players. He reached into his pants, pulled out a coin purse, and tossed it to them. “Play something I can tap my foot to.” He said with a winning smile.

    The band leader grabbed the purse out of the air, “One two...” he tapped off, then his band began playing a quick, pumping melody.

    Soren turned his attention back to the fight, “Now, where were we?” and with a quick flick of his hand, as if to say. “Come on.” Towards Soka, the fight was on.

    Soka rushed at the Soren. He dipped and weaved right as he was about to reach him and slashed downwards with the sword. Soren parried with one of his gauntlets and the blade clashed against the metal strapped to Soren’s arms with a shriek that sent sparks flying into the air. The swordsman was quick and uppercut slashed at the hand to hand warrior, attempting to catch Soren from stem all the way to stern.

    Soren sidestepped to the right just enough and the blade passed a hairs breath from his face.

    Quickly, before Soka could respond with a follow-up, Soren swiftly punched Soka in the solar plexus, knocking the wind out of the swordsman, and stunning him for a brief moment.

    The fight had taken Soren and Soka dangerously close to the edge of the arena and Soren had his back almost to the wall, despite his counter offensive.

    Soka was still open for more attacks though and Soren was not done.

    The quick blow had opened Soka up for another attack and Soren obliged him, putting a simple sidekick into the swordsman’s stomach, doubling him over. Soren followed that up with a quick rising uppercut.

    The crowd watching their fight let out a collective wince for the man.

    Taking the opening and using the environment to his advantage, back flipped onto the wall and pushed off towards Soka. The maneuver sent him front flipping towards Soka and just before he reached the swordsman, Soren flattened his body out, feet first. Instead of colliding with his adversary though, Soren opted to wrap his feet around Soka’s neck instead.

    The maneuver caught Soka off guard as he was recovering his wits, once again.

    Soren gave him an apologetic shrug, mid air. As if to say, “sorry” for what was going to come next.

    Soren used his momentum in a creative, instead of piling into his opponent; instead, he jerked to the right and swung around Soka. Then, when he was directly behind his opponent, Soren curled his legs into his body and angled his body towards the ground, changing the direction of his fall, putting the weight of his jump into a powerful throw.

    Soka was pulled off his feet violently and was thrown across the floor. He skidded and tumbled along the ground, uncontrolled. He was stopped by the other end of the dance floor, about five feet from the wall at the back of the dance floor.. A groan escaped his lips as the pain from the attack started setting in.

    Soka looked up and his eyes opened with surprise.

    As Soren was about to let go of Soka, during the throw, he had planted both hands on the ground. When he completed the attack, Soren sprang off his hands, throwing himself into a quick back spring, followed by another, another, and another to build momentum. When Soren was almost to Soka, Soren bounded off the ground and threw himself into a spin that would have made an expert gymnast jealous. Flattening out in the air like a sideways whirling tornado, so that his body was perpendicular with Soka’s as he neared the fallen swordsman, Soren’s spin got increasingly fast as he whipped his arms in and out, efficiently putting Soren into an almost uncontrollable rotation, arced at Soka.

    Just as Soren was about to reach Soka, the warrior threw one of his legs out, shin angled down. The entire force from the spin was pushed into his leg.

    The entire room was silent and it was as if time itself was holding its breath as Soren descended. Every person watching the fight was so enthralled, watching for the next move in the epic fight.

    Soka barely had time to breath, let alone dodge. But, it was a testament to his experience in battle that Soka kept the presence of mind to roll to the right in a desperate dodge, towards the wall of the dance floor. Just in time.

    Soren’s leg smashed into the ground, slamming into the ground with his knee and shin flat into the wood, crushing the floor into a torrent of splinters that rose up around him in the air.

    Seeing Soka dodge, most warriors would have allowed their opponent to stand up. That was the honorable thing to do. But, there are no rules in a bar fight.

    With the speed of a cat, while the splinters were still hanging mid air, Soren spun his body around and swept his foot towards his opponents head. The attack was so quick that Soka wasn’t hurt; it actually pushed the assassin a foot and a half into the air.

    Soka was curious, why had that not hurt?

    That was Soren’s intention. Swiftly, Soren rolled forward and halfway through, slid straight, so that he slid under Soka and stopped facing the rising assassin’s back.

    Soren cocked both arms back and double punched upwards into Soka’s back. Air whooshed from the swordsman’s lungs as he was pushed even higher into the air. The impact from the attack gave Soren a couple feet between him and Soka.

    Soren looked to his right and saw the lip of the dance floor, just an arms length away now, “This is going to hurt you, just as much as it is going to hurt me.” Soren promised Soka with a forewarned wince.

    Soren quickly performed a handspring to his feet, crouched just under Soka with his legs coiled underneath him. Soren exploded from the ground towards Soka's rising form. He grabbed the assassin around the waist, twisted mid air, and arched the two of them towards the wall, easily angling Soka head first, towards the raised lip of the dance floor.

    Soka collided with the raised floor and his head plowed through the woodwork with a painful cracking and crunching sound as the wood shattered under the enormous pressure from the attack.

    Soren let go and managed to aim himself towards the level below. He landed with ease and rolled to his feet. Then, Soren looked back at the assassin and a look of brief sadness flashed across his face.

    Soka's body hung vertical for the briefest moment, suspended in an ephemeral moment in time, then he collapsed, head still firmly stuck into the ground. The rest of him hit the ground in an uncomfortable position, but Soka was still breathing.

    "That had to hurt." Soren said to himself. He looked down at one of his hands and noticed one of his nails bleeding. "Dammit! I broke a nail!" He exclaimed in frustration.
     
  2. WildPony

    WildPony New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2011
    Messages:
    197
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    The Wilderlans
    Ratings:
    +1 / 0 / -0
    Oh brilliant! I truly loved it and am off to the scribes house right now. For me, the best writer of fight scenes is RA Salvator. I have been avoiding writing the fight scenes in my own novel for fear of screwing them up, but knowing other people have successfully executed them gives me hope. Keep up the good work! :]
     
  3. Herickson

    Herickson New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2011
    Messages:
    39
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Austin, Texas
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    You have no idea how big a smile you just brought to my face. :D :D :D

    Here is my suggestion. It helped me. Watch old Jackie Chan movies, the kind with the out of sync voice work. But, only check out the fight scenes. Skip the rest, since to be honest, though to be honest, even the stories are a guilty pleasure.