Winternight

Discussion in 'General Books' started by Brightstar, Sep 25, 2008.

  1. Brightstar

    Brightstar Fantasy Maker

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    So, as of today I have Skyanide's permission to post an excerpt and give y'all a chance to ask questions and get to know my writing.

    This is an excerpt:

    The leaves on the trees, still but for the wind, began to tremble slightly, as if the earth shook, then more and more, and a sound came, faint at first like thunder gathering in the distance and rolling in through the darkness. A moment later, the thunder became a roar, and a shape broke through the trees on the southeastern side of the clearing. It was moving impossibly fast, but its features were unmistakable, even in the dimness. It was a horse of a kind both beautiful and terrible. Its black coat shone with magic, and its mane streamed straight out behind it from the terrific speed at which it ran. Balls of red lightning flashed in its eyes, and light danced around its hooves as if it struck sparks from the ground, whether it trod upon stones, grass, or the softest earth.

    Talina had seen a Dread Steed once before, when she was very young, and this was a stallion of the kind that belonged only to the Fair Folk. It seemed to freeze for a moment before her eyes, and she caught a profile both noble and infinitely dangerous, perfect of form and limb, its rider seeming impossibly small upon its back.

    Talina shrank even farther back into the shadows as it thundered across the clearing, a blur of speed, hooves beating the earth in a continuous roar. Behind it came the terrifying avalanche of the Wild Hunt, of hooves and whips and Fae lights, red and black leather flashing as it pounded past through the darkness. Along with the Dread Steeds came the Dark Hounds. They were creatures of nightmare, the larger cousins of the great forest wolves, bred magically for the Hunt, their eyes and teeth glittering as they followed fast on the heels of their masters' steeds.

    Once it began, the parade of shapes and light and eyes racing through the gloom seemed to go on forever, and Talina stood absolutely still, barely breathing. Hundreds of horses and riders fairly flew through the clearing each moment, but they came and kept coming. As Talina watched, the night was broken by a cry from the darkness and two shapes sailed out of the mass of horsemen to land rolling in the grass on the near side of the clearing.

    Then, as quickly as the careening train had begun, it simply ended, and the ground was still, but for a little residual trembling that soon faded to nothing. There was no sign at all that the Hunt had passed. Not a blade of grass was bent, and the trees were as still and silent as ever. All that remained were two inert shapes, lying in the grass.

    You can find the full story at www.winternightproductions.com

    I'd be happy to answer any questions or to hear what peoples' thoughts on the story are.
     
  2. Firiath

    Firiath Halfling barbarian

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    I've already read the entire first part of the story (the part on your website), and in my opinion it's very good. I think it's just the kind of fantasy story I like most - stories with a fellowship, prophecies and so on. :D
    I also like your writing style very much. As a German I sometimes have problems reading long stories in English, yours however was clearly understandable, yet not too simple.
     
  3. Brightstar

    Brightstar Fantasy Maker

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    Thanks much, Firiath. :)
    Your english seems pretty good to me, and yeah, I try to keep the style simple enough for children to read, yet complex enough to be really interesting.

    Part of it comes from studying journalism. I've learned that if you keep your sentences reasonably short and you use words that readers only occasionally have to go to a dictionary for, you'll keep your readers interested more easily.

    ...That doesn't mean you have to have a simple story though. I like them really complicated... but still not TOO hard to follow.
     
  4. Brightstar

    Brightstar Fantasy Maker

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    Part 2 is out! I think you'll find it's at least as entertaining as part 1. Take a look. www.winternightproductions.com
    (Oh, and you may see my Google adwords ad on the banners here at the site if you keep an eye out.)
    :)