Why does love hurt so much?

Discussion in 'Random Chat' started by Foinikas, May 20, 2011.

  1. Foinikas

    Foinikas Playing backgammon!

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    If I am not destined to be with someone,why then did I fall in love with her years ago and I was in love for her for years?Well was...been....am....something like that.

    Why do people fall in love with the wrong people?

    Just a question of the moment born out of sadness and bitterness.
     
  2. Sevi

    Sevi Pocałunek!

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    I think people sometimes want what they cant have. If she doesnt want you, why do you insist? Do you really want to be with someone that doesnt like you? Find someone that does.
     
  3. Foinikas

    Foinikas Playing backgammon!

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    Well I knew that from the beginning,since the end of the 90s.Since High School.But I couldn't do otherwise.I was truly madly deeply in love with her for more than 10 years and now she's getting married.Well I knew that would happen one day but I hoped.I still hoped.So many times have I tried to be with another girl,it didn't work out.
    I've always been that "friend" or "sorry I can't see you in the same way".It just hurts me sometimes.
     
  4. WildPony

    WildPony New Member

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    It is my belief that we need to go through failed love to appreciate true love when we finally find the right person. I have asked myself the very same question that you have, many times over. The answer comes slowly, some times taking years. I know people will say "stay away from her/him" but often your heart has other ideas and even you get hurt over and over again you cannot tear yourself away. The right time will come, just do not give up hope, do not believe that you are doomed to misery; for, even though it feels like you are shrouded in a dark cloud of pain, a ray of light will finally pierce through... just wait out the storm. Here's a quote that I made up many years ago, it has sustained me through much.

    Have hope; for, if hope fails all life will fall into ruins of despair. Where as, if hope remains even ruins of despair can be built up into triumphant success.

    Hold in there!
     
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  5. Running Wolf

    Running Wolf Join the Madness

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    Actually right now I would prefer being madly in love with someone who doesn't love me back - instead of not really loving anyone that way.
    So as weird as it sounds, Foi, and I'm almost sorry to say this... but I envy you :/
     
  6. Julie

    Julie Well-Known Member

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    Why does love hurt so much? It hurts so much because it's the most intense feeling a human can have. It goes in two extremes, it can feel really good, or it can hurt ****ing much. But that's the fantastic part of it. You have to embrace it, maybe the hurt-part even more than the feel good-part, because that's the only way to deal with it, to allow yourself to be hurt. But then move on, 'cause it's not that you have one big love in your life, that's a load of crap, you will fall in love again, you will get hurt again, but you will also experience the good parts, and that'll make it all worth it.

    And on your second question, about why you fell in love with her if you weren't destined to.. I don't think there's such a thing as destiny. People just fall in love, and it more often happens to be not mutual than mutual. You fall in love with a person, I think, because that person has a lot of characteristics you highly value, and this has to do a lot with your upbringing, often that person resembles people who you already love, like close friends and family. I mean, what are the chances that that feeling of "being in love" is mutual? I think a lot of people just start a relationship with only one of them being in love and the other one not that much, or not at all, but it can grow due to your interactions. Well that's what I think at least but I think RW will have a better insight in that.
     
  7. Julie

    Julie Well-Known Member

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    Me too. :)

    Although, he says he doesn't really know if he still loves her.. So I guess he's kinda confused, and that's the worst state to be in!
     
    Last edited: May 20, 2011
  8. Running Wolf

    Running Wolf Join the Madness

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    Why would I have a better insight into that? Because I study psych? lol ^^
    What psychology says about 'Love' and what people who experience 'Love' say are two very different things. One side is a theory, that tries to explain Love through biological reactions of the body. And the other side is individual experience that can not be pressed into a formula.

    I'm not sure on wether I believe in mutual love, love at first sight, eternal love, destined love and all that, so I can't answer Fois questions. Ask me again in 70 years when I'm older and wiser and may or may not have found the love of my life ;)
     
  9. Turambar

    Turambar Harebrained Staff Member

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    I think Sevi gave the best answer

    [​IMG]
     
  10. Greybeard

    Greybeard Geezer

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    I've been on both sides of that fence, and they both suck. Which is worse? Whichever side of the fence I'm on at the moment.

    And I, too, seem to be the eternal friend. It'd be easier if they just kicked you in the nuts.
     
  11. Julie

    Julie Well-Known Member

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    You prefer being kicked in the nuts over being friends? :p
     
  12. Eris

    Eris Figment Of Imagination

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    you what? love is the worst feeling in the world!
    how about tow people that really love each other and they both are wonderful and they both are every thing that a girl/boy can dream of!.but they have nothing similar between them, they can't even go to a place that they both like for launch or even go to a place that both like , talk about something that they have something in common, even their friends and their ideas are different!! and the worst part is that they know they HAVE to breakup at a point but they don't have the courage to do it right now! sooner they breakup is better for them! but after every fight they can't just let it go!
    you have the chance to free yourself and find someone that her feeling is yours and you can share every thing with her! when we dare universe to make every thing right for us it will end badly!
     
  13. Greybeard

    Greybeard Geezer

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    With one woman in particular, yes. I haven't seen her in four years. It's been a good four years.
     
  14. Foinikas

    Foinikas Playing backgammon!

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    I made a rhetorical question and now I have all the stars for my new soap opera "Love and pain" casting all you lot.
     
  15. Anduil

    Anduil New Member

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    hahahahahahaahaha Thank god i didn't reply to that thread!!! i knew it :p

    Seriously now if you want an extra actor i can be your protagonist!!! Cause love is like a friendship caught on fire: In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable (Bruce Lee don't ask me to perform fighting scenes i hate beat up people.)
     
  16. Foinikas

    Foinikas Playing backgammon!

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    No actually...I knew from the beginning that she never loved me but I always hoped.But anyway,you know man sometimes I get so depressed when I think of it.
     
  17. Zane Fireflyte

    Zane Fireflyte The Persistant Cat Wizard

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    Hey, man. Don't be saddened. As a very wise and big-haired woman once said, "What's love got to do with it?" And also, let me tell you something. I have never dated in my entire 15 years of life. Sure, I have met a few girls who I found cute, but I have been and still am satisfied with just being friends with them. Now, I know that you're not me. But I believe that the best thing for you to do right now is to make friends with the girl in question. That way, she will at least like you as a friend. Tell me how it turns out!
     
  18. Julie

    Julie Well-Known Member

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    I agree with Zane, actually, although for some people it doesn't seem to work!

    So you started a thread just to cause some fuzz?:p
     
  19. StarryEyes

    StarryEyes New Member

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    sorry to hear this :-( But remember ... rejection hurts. Anger hurts. Sadness and bitterness hurts. Love does not hurt; love is a wonderful thing, sometimes horribly and unavoidably masked by all these other emotions that trick you into thinking love itself hurts.
     
  20. Anduil

    Anduil New Member

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    Indeed!!! Love against all other emotions!!! And the greatest love of all is sacrifice!!!
     
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