Greetings one and all. As a newcomer to the forum I suppose I should say a few things about myself, as is the norm on these occasions. Apologies in advance if the tide of dullness rises above your boredom threshold, but protocol must be observed. Anyway, I'm thirty-nine years old (or will be shortly: what's a few weeks between friends?) which automatically precludes me from taking part in most of the fun and games which take place on internet forums. I'm of a mordant turn of mind and see humour in things which most sane humans find abhorrent. I don't expect others to share my rather peculiar view of the world, but I do expect them to at least keep a civil tongue in their head if they don't: manners cost nothing, as my dear old mother used to say (she's not dead, by the way. She's just stopped saying it). My tastes in literature range from the mundane to the macabre: Tolkien, King, Barker, Hobbs, the list goes on. My hobby is writing, but that's all it is: a hobby. I lack the ego (self-belief?) to think that I could ever turn it into a full-time profession, but who can say what the future holds? Stranger thing have happened. Stranger things do happen. Just look at Sarah Palin. And that's me done and dusted. I figure I've written enough to justify entry to the forum. If not, I can but lower myself in abasement. Or not. You never can tell with me. I'm fickle and likely to turn on a penny.