Announcer: "Good evening folks and welcome to World Fantasy Wrestling in the Spam-dome! May I just say, the excitement here is palpable, this being the first Monday Night WFW event in years! I'd just like to give a quick word of thanks to our sponsors Durcolax and The Pub of Fellowship for making tonight possible. With the necessary mentions done, I'd like you all to give a warm welcome to our first wrestler. He's fought in the breakfast war! He's fought dragons! Hell he's single-handedly won the race to 1000 several times! The legend, the hero, KELMOOOOOOOURNE!!!!!!!!!!!!" *cue entrance music* HELLOOOOOOOO SPAM DOME! *applause* Yeah yeah I know, you've missed me. But you wanna know something? I haven't missed the lot of you ONE STINKIN' BIT! THIS PLACE SUCKS!!! *jeers from the audience* I've seen this place in it's golden years, perhaps several of you were too busy with your jolly old "facebookin" and "yootoobin" to give two damns about the greatest place on the internet! BUT I GIVE TWO DAMNS! HELL I GIVE FOUR!!! *applause* But look at this place now. Nothin' but thread after thread containing page after page of list after list of alphabetized and categorized genuine grade-A BULLSHIT! Where's the heart people? WHERE'S THE PASSION!?! It's gone I tells ya, gone with the freakin' wind. But I aint. I'm too flippin' HEAVY to go with the wind. So I think I'll stick around. First off, I'd like to give a shout out to one of the few real dudes left in this recycled pile of bulls**t, Herald of Woe. HERALD OF MUTHAFUCKIN WOE DO YOU HEAR ME PEOPLE!?! THIS SCALLYWAG'S TOUGH AS FREAKIN' NAILS AND HE HAS PERSONALLY SAILED MORE SEAS THAN THE NUMBER OF TIMES YOU CAN SAY YOU'VE MADE LOVE!!! Me and Herald go way back folks. He's known me since I was Big King Monster, and later Dr El Clownius over at TNA Wrestling. But now that we're both back at WFW, it's time for HoW and Kelmourne join forces once more, TO SHOW YOU SUCKAS HOW IT'S DONE!!! YA HEAR!?! WE WILL BE THE SINGLE GREATEST TAG TEAM TO HAVE EVER WALKED INTO THIS HERE DOME!!!!!!! But enough talk for Kelmourne and HoW, because TONIGHT WE STEAL THE TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP BELT!!! And there's NOTHING that Mr. hoity-toity announcer man can flippin' do about it! Announcer: "Kelmourne no! You can't just STEAL the tag-team championship belt! This is our first match back for christ's sake! Listen, you need to go through the proper procedure, and prove yourselves capable of beating all the other wrestlers before getting a championship match!" Well guess what announcer-man... I DON'T GIVE EVEN HALF A SHIT ABOUT YOUR "PROCEDURES" BECAUSE I KNOW AND EVERYBODY ELSE HERE KNOWS THAT THERE AIN'T A ONE OF YOU SUCKAS THAT HAS THE GRAPES TO TAKE IT BACK FROM ME! *runs over to the announcer table and gives the announcer a suplex* *grabs the tag-team championship belt* Well, are any of you TOUGH ENOUGH to challenge me and HoW for the belt? ANY OF YA!?!