walking

Discussion in 'Reviews' started by Senyon, Jul 2, 2007.

  1. Senyon

    Senyon New Member

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    I've had many people tell me things about this story inculding when i switch scenes well you'll see i am open for criticism but not a lot tell me what i did wrong and if u enjoyed it or not i promise that i will keep writing even if its just a sentence. anyways thank you again. and please enjoy.





    Walking up towards the Inn, I felt a cold chill run down my spine and I started to see things of the past, my past. Things I had done to give me the name I had earned. Feared by most of my followers, I am known now only as Heartseeker. Through time that name has changed from place to place. In the east I was known to all as Bloodlure, and in the west, Demaha, but no matter where I went people had the same meaning of who and what i was, and now I am just an old man, an old lord only fit to tell stories and watch over the lands of my people who gave me their trust so long ago....
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    I was a mere lad when my father went to war. He was a general of an army sent to stop the hordes creatures spewing upon the surface. I spent thirteen years of my life with my father learning from him and many others the ways of war and ways to kill. We had won the war, but at a great price. I had lost the only person I knew to have loved me....

    "Come on son, its time to go and we haven't much time."
    "Yes father, I'm just trying to snap my shield onto my back." Laughing, he picks up the small boy who is dressed in full garb.
    "Gawn, my boy, you're not to be fighting and you know that. Your only ten years of age not even ready to begin practiceing the sword."
    Gawn says eagerly with fists clutched, "I know, but I want to smash some bloody orcs head in." Gawns father smiles and says,
    "You'll have your chance yet with the numbers our scouts have reported this war could last for ten years. You Gawn, you just get to learn the ropes of commanding an army."
    "Aw but dad. Gets cut off abrubtly.
    "Aw nothing, you're lucky I'm taking you with me. "Haveing you around soliders is bad enough. You still have your studies to tend to before you can learn the sword or anything else. Now what say you, Gawn; do I have your promise?"
    Gawn looks a little disheartened, but then replies strongly, "Aye sir."
    "Good, now let me snap that shield for you and we'll be off,"the general adds, "You have to look the part of a general's boy now." They both laugh and walk out the door.
     
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2007
  2. Senyon

    Senyon New Member

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    They both laugh and walk out the door.
    "Now come young Gawn learn the name of, one of many of your new mentors, Master Kimpthin." With a smile and a hand leading Gawn around the corner of a stone wall. "He will be teaching you other language's, arithmatic, and some other useful information about the secretive arts, that will prove vital if not valuable for you in the near future." A stern look befalls the middleaged man with hair blacker than a stallions mane, his overly appearance is dreery and not one looking ready for a ride in a saddle with watery robes. Gawn looks apon the man and already seems to get the feeling of having his nose in a book for the rest of his known life.
    "I hope your a learnative type young master, there is a lot i must show you among many other things you must learn, but i have hope in you yet young master for i taught your father also, and he was a very quick learner."