Vampires in a bar

Discussion in 'Joke Board' started by pudutat91958, Jul 8, 2009.

  1. pudutat91958

    pudutat91958 New Member

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    Vampires in a Bar
    It's Halloween and everyone's out trick-or-treating. A bartender is working the late-night shift at the bar. He looks outside and sees everyone in crazy costumes. He sighs and picks up a glass and starts cleaning it.

    At around midnight, a guy in a vampire costume walks in and sits at the bar. He says to the bartender "Hi. I'm a vampire and I'd like a cup of human blood please."

    The bartender looks at him skeptically. "No you're not. You're just wearing a costume."

    "No, no, really," he insists. "I'm a vampire and I'd like a cup of human blood please."

    "Alright," the bartender says. He goes in the back and comes out with a cup of blood. He gives it to the vampire who drinks it right away.

    "Thanks," he says, and leaves.

    An hour later another vampire comes in and sits at the bar. He says "Hi, I'm a vampire and I'd like a cup of human blood please."

    "Okay," the bartender says and goes in the back again. He comes out with another cup of blood. He gives it to the vampire who drinks it and leaves with a 'thanks'.

    An hour later a third vampire comes in and sits at the bar. "Hi," he says to to the bartender. "I'm a vam..."

    "I know, I know," the bartender interrupts. "You're a vampire and you want a cup of blood right?"

    "Um, no," the vampire answers. "I AM a vampire, but I'd just like a glass of hot water please."

    "Sure" the bartender says. He pours him a glass of hot water. As he gives it to the vampire he says "You know, there were two vampires that came in before you that wanted blood. How come you're just asking for water?"

    Without answering the vampire reaches into his pocket and pulls out a used band-aid.

    "Tea time."
     
  2. Kally

    Kally Driving my own destiny.

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    ...I dont get it....
     
  3. Jorick

    Jorick Well-Known Member

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    I think this makes more sense with the adult version of the joke... Replace "band-aid" with "tampon" and you'll see it. :p
     
  4. Arch

    Arch New Member

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    I get it :D It's not really that funny but it made me laugh for a second or two
     
  5. Anir

    Anir New Member

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    Hm . . . it's sort of funny but not really. :)
     
  6. AlphaAlex

    AlphaAlex Official Forum Nuisance

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    "mwahahaha I vant to suck..."

    "oh no mr. vampire please dont suck my blood"

    "who said anything about blood?.."
     
  7. Arch

    Arch New Member

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    Okay .... now that made me laugh
     
  8. AlphaAlex

    AlphaAlex Official Forum Nuisance

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  9. Arch

    Arch New Member

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    Well ... i'm to boring to make something funny .... funny is your job :D and yes your comments are the best
     
  10. bookworm

    bookworm New Member

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    So, finally we have a use for women on the rag... (to be read after Alex's joke for full effect)
     
  11. Jorick

    Jorick Well-Known Member

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    Hmm, I think this calls for a certain limerick I'm fond of...

    There once was a vampire named Mable
    Whose periods were really quite stable
    So every full moon
    She'd pull out a spoon
    And drink herself under the table


    :rolleyes:
     
  12. Saka

    Saka New Member

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    i dont get it...
     
  13. SuperToad

    SuperToad New Member

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    i get it, but the joke is stupid.
     
  14. Kakashi

    Kakashi The Fighters Guide House Member

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    I get it. It's not funny, but I do.
     
  15. AlphaAlex

    AlphaAlex Official Forum Nuisance

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    I'd rep you if I could.
     
  16. Raff the Sweetling

    Raff the Sweetling Threadkiller

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    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LOL! LOL! LOL!
    (nah not really)
     
  17. midnight_wolf316

    midnight_wolf316 New Member

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    hhahaha raff tee hee
     
  18. bookworm

    bookworm New Member

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    Raff is definitely funnier than Alex.
     
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