Vampire Hunter Academy

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  1. Manbandage

    Manbandage New Member

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    It was the first day of class. The students filed in for Anatomy. Arthen was the last to enter. He looked to be a man of 30, ready to take on the world. He had planned to make it to class early, but bumped into a girl on the way there. She inexplicably ran off afterwards. Arthen was getting tense, looking around the room. There were Vampire Hunters everywhere he looked, he could tell. They all had courage, which is one thing that is needed in his line of profession. Arthen had been hunting vampires for 417 years and counting. He had to make sure though. Find their true passion. Arthen never liked large classes, and because of the enlarging of Vampire Houses around the world, they began training even younger students. He didn’t like young people either. Particularly 16 year olds.
    “I hate puberty stricken---”, he began to think. He knew that he’d truly have to weed them out to his favorites. Arthen’s most enjoyable experience each year was making favorites and making enemies.
    “Each of you has come here on your own accord. I want to know your reasoning, when I call your name, stand up and state your purpose.”
    The students seemed terrified. Arthen, one of the greatest vampire hunters to ever live, wanted to know about them. Before they had time to think of valiant answers he began calling names. The first few were very generic, about how noble it is to rid the world of evil. He had already known many of their backgrounds. Some did shine without expectation.
    “Bailey Greeve?”
    A larger boy, almost a man stood up. His darker complexion complimented his ruby red garments and white cloak. All embroidered with gold symbols. He wore a black broach that contained a ruby colored scarab in it.
    “Sir, my family has raised masons and soldiers. Peasants and princes. Great names and nobodies. We’ve never had a Hunter. My family’s name will be known for hunting.”
    “I hope it will Mr. Greeve.”
    He went through a couple of names with the kids stumbling over more explanations. He found another interesting student he didn’t expect much of.
    “Kaitlyn Featherwood?”
    “Do you know of the Featherwood lineage sir? Your reputation should have brought you through our wood sometime.”
    “Yes. The first of your family was a woman that grew in a sapling. It is said that your family was the first family of Elves. In fact, the first family of the land. Tell me, why is an elf concerning herself with human affairs such as vampires. The vampire’s curse doesn’t affect your people.”
    “Their savagery and constant expansion does. They wipe out elven villages now. I will take the first steps to hopefully bringing forth many of my brothers and sisters to fight off this plague of evil.”
    “I’ll enjoy seeing you work.”
    Although to the students it seemed as though he had no particular pattern, he was saving a few for last.
    “Veronica Hubner?”, he called out, filling with excitement. In the back, a beautiful blond stood up, with what already appeared to be runic armor and an old-style witch’s hat.
    “Present sir.”
    “Very well, please state your past experiences and why you came to this school.”
    “Yes sir. I am a witch. I’ve studied twice as hard, and therefore finished my witching academy early, allowing me to start classes here. As for why, I am here to excel at everything I do!”, she had so much energy she raised her arm up in a cheering motion and overextended, causing her to trip and fall. The class laughed at her foolish moment. Arthen recognized the clumsiness. The girl he had bumped into. It was her.
    Completely miserable at the fact that he had his hopes up for her, Arthen continued to the other student he had an eye on, before Veronica had a chance to get back up.
    “Maximilian DeMarn?”
    The name itself rang bells. Everyone knew of the DeMarn family. The werewolf family that claims vengeance upon all vampires. They are known to have spawned several traitors too, as of which, aren’t normally trusted no matter how many vampires they’ve killed. Whispers fell over the classroom and died quickly.
    “I’m here, sir. Before you ask, I’m here for the same reason any member of my family has ever come here, to train to kill vampires. Not because it’s noble, not because it rids the world of evil, but because they deserve death. Along with any who try to help them.”
    “Very well spoken Mr. DeMarn. Very well spoken. Now is there anybody I missed?” Knowing that he had marked off every student on his attendance list, Arthen only asked the question as a transition into the lesson, but he noticed something as he was turning towards the chalk board. A hand. Raised as high as it will go.
    “I apologize sir, but you did not call off my name.”
    “No, allow me to apologize. What is your name and purpose for being here?”
    “My name is Danny Cooper, sir. I don’t know why I’m here?”
    “Well Mr. Cooper, maybe you shouldn’t be here with an answer like that.”
    Danny could feel all eyes on him, particularly one set of eyes. Veronica’s. She seemed nervous, staring at him. Watching his every move.
    “I uh, uh…” Arthen had turned around by this point, beginning the lesson. Finally Danny broke down.
    “I’m sorry Veronica, you’re really nice”, he whispered to her. “Sir, I shouldn’t be here. I don’t really know how I got here. I woke up this morning in Veronica’s room. She said she summoned me. We decided that I may be able to just play it cool and go along with things for a bit, but what’s all this about Vampires and witches?”
    Veronica’s face was bright red. She was going to figure out a way to send him back, but she was in for it now. She tried to explain:
    “Sir, I was practicing a summoning ritual that brings water-creatures to you. It turns out he was drowning at that moment and I had to breathe for him. Long story short, I’ll have him gone by tomorrow.”
    “It’s too late for that. We haven’t recruited someone like this in a long time. Welcome to Vampire Hunter Academy, Danny.”
    “Excuse me sir, the what? I don’t think I can just be--”
    “You can and you are. We’ll speak more of this after class. Please, sit back and relax until then son. It’ll be the best for all of us.”
    As pissed off as he was, Arthen was glad to have someone who may show true interest in the new knowledge being passed on. Besides, he learned a long time ago, everything means something. Even somethings as silly as one of the brightest minds of the witching community accidentally summoning a drowning man to his classroom must mean something. He began the class with the heart.


    After the tension in the air dispersed Arthen began the anatomy lesson. The class was unsure how he would teach anatomy, but they had heard stories of his seriousness in his classes. A reputation that Arthen was both sad to hear but stern to keep. However there was one student who wouldn’t know any reputations.
    “Daniel, come up here.”
    Danny was scared to death. This dream was getting more and more drawn out the longer he was asleep. He needed to wake up. “That’s right,” he thought, “I just have to wake up. Come on Danny wake up!” It was too late. He had somehow walked all the way down the steps and to the front of the classroom. Standing there was the commanding of a man, his soon to be teacher.
    Arthen couldn’t help but smile. He could see the kid shaking for his dear life, but after what he had been through, Arthen couldn’t blame him. He felt Danny needed experience first and foremost. It was the only way to get him on the same level as the rest of the others. There was only one quick way.
    “Daniel, I’d like you to take this stake and put it through my heart.”
    The class was in confusion. Many of the students were worried, others excited to see their teacher die on the first day, two however, sitting in the back were quite stoic. A young witch and a mistrusted werewolf. Amongst all of the whisperings of I can’t wait for him to bleed. It’ll be so cool. The witch stared closely and the werewolf sat smugly.
    “Daniel, you do know where the heart is, correct?”
    “Well, yeah, despite popular belief, it’s much closer to the center of the chest, but sir I can’t just..just… Well, I can’t..”
    “Stake me to death? Well sure you can! I told you to do it. Would it help if I drew my sword on you and told you it was life or death?”
    “No sir! I just mean---”
    Arthen drew his sword and belted an animalistic roar at Daniel. He began a half-hearted swing. In fear, panic, and what he hoped was self defense, Danny lunged the stake perfectly into Arthen’s chest. Arthen screamed in pain, writhing on the ground yelling obscenities.
    “Son of a bitch kid! I didn’t think you would actually do it! I’m your teacher for God’s sake!”
    Blood continued to fountain out of Arthen’s chest. Danny continued to apologize and pulled the stake out. He placed his hands on Arthen’s chest.
    “Don’t worry sir, I’m so sorry! I’m applying pressure to the wound, I didn’t force it in too deep, if we rush you to medical care immediately you may still make it!”
    Arthen stood up then. He had a great smile on his face.
    “Congratulations. You’ve officially killed your teacher. Kid, you’ve got a lot to learn, but today, I’ve learned several things about you.”
    Danny was rather offended and utterly confused. Arthen was faking it. He wasn’t harmed at all. In fact, he looked rather fine. How did he do it? Why wasn’t he dead? He should be mortally wounded. How? How could this be?
    “Daniel, I’m immortal. I can’t die.”
    Danny was even more confused, but because it was a dream he figured he’d just go with it. Now if he could only figure out a way to wake up.

    Chapter 3: Who, What, Where, and Why?

    Arthen let the students out of class early.
    “Alright guys, go back to your rooms or wherever it is you like to relax. Class is over.”
    The class began to empty. All but three students left. Maximilian, Veronica, and Danny.
    “Now I know why you two have stayed,” he directed at Veronica and Danny, “but Mr.Demarn..”
    “Just call me Max, sir.”
    “Very well, Max, why are you staying.”
    “Sir, I’m interested in how you’re going to punish them?”
    “Punish us?!” Danny piped out. Wasn’t the false killing his teacher a punishment enough?
    “Max, why would I punish each of them?”
    “Well, starting with the witch, she sloppily casted magic, and, in doing so, allowed the secret of VHA be known to a commoner. The human, deserves no punishment, I just like hearing him scream in fear.” A smile spread across his lips.
    Arthen liked this. His two best students, and his favorite protégé.
    “Max, how much do you think Danny here needs to catch up on?”
    “More than much, he would need constant knowledge of magic and the creatures that actually lurk in the night.”
    “I agree. Are you aware of team assignments for tomorrow Max?”
    “Yes sir, teams are made up of 3 to 4, they are secret to only the staff, and will be declared tomorrow. The team is required to meet and train daily, seeing as classes only last 3 hours long each day. On occasions, teams will be sent on minor missions with a staff member to learn in the field and test their training personally.”
    “I couldn’t have said it better myself.”
    “Uh--sir, I think I know where this is going.” Veronica finally mustered enough confidence to speak up.
    “I’m sure you do Veronica.”
    “It’s up to us to catch Danny up… isn’t it?”
    The surprise to Danny and Maximilian was astounding to Arthen. Were they really that slow? Unfortunately yes, and Max did not appreciate it one bit.
    “Sir, I can’t possibly be stuck with a shoddy witch and a nobody.”
    “You can and you will. I thought with how much I agreed with you earlier, you would have agreed with the soundness in my decision. Daniel come with me, you two are dismissed.”
    Max and Veronica left together, likely talking over what they will do to “help” Danny. Arthen brought Danny to his office. It was ornate, filled with ancient artifacts. Arthen truly was as old as dirt, but he also had a certain elegance.
    “Sir, is there anyway that I can just go back?”
    “Unfortunately Daniel, we’ve no idea from where you came.”
    “I’m from Illinois, but I was in Georgia. The United States.”
    “They sound interesting.” Arthen spoke as he pulled a book off of the shelves.
    “They? You’ve never heard of the United States of America?”
    “I think I may have heard them in passing.”
    “In passing? What do you--”
    “You see Daniel, there are at least 11 planes of existence. Each with 4 dimensions that we’ve discovered. Summoning spells pull from each plane and each dimension. Finding where you belong will take a very long time.”

    Chapter 4: The Team to Succeed

    Danny sat in Veronica’s room. On account of being her responsibility, they had to share a room. His bed was on order. For the next two nights, they had to decide who got the bed and who didn’t.
    “It’s your bed, I’ve slept on the floor before. Don’t worry about it.” Danny conceded.
    “No, I couldn’t stand to have you sleeping on the floor. It’s my fault you’re here. I can make a pallet.” Veronica insisted.
    “Now, I was raised to be a gentleman. If I don’t allow you to have the bed, I would be doing my name a dishonor. Please sleep on the bed.”
    “And I would be doing my name a dishonor if I forced a person to sleep on the floor after I brought them to an unfamiliar world.”
    The argument continued until they came to a conclusion. They would both sleep on the floor. The nights here were hot. Danny could barely sleep. He was stuck, for who knows how long. Arthen assured him they would work as hard as they could to get him back home, but he made no guarantees. Veronica was still up as well. Studying. For what, Danny had no clue, they hadn’t learned anything new that day. Class was short. Danny could see his wet clothes hanging. Waiting to be dried. Danny stared off at them thinking about his last moments. What was he doing? Why was he drowning? He was a lifeguard. How could he have been drowning?
    “Hey Veronica.”
    “What was your first thought when I appeared?”
    “At first, excitement. Then fear. You weren’t breathing. I had to pump the water out of your lungs and then breathe for you.”
    “You gave me mouth to mouth?”
    “Is that what it’s called?”
    “Yeah, sort of.”
    “Oh. Well don’t let it get to your head.”
    “Why would I? I’ve done it loads of times…”
    “Well it was my first!” she blushed.
    Danny realized what Veronica was talking about. He was Veronica’s first kiss.
    “You know it’s not the same thing right?”
    “I know that!”
    “Okay, I didn’t want you to think that you took advantage of me or anything.”
    “Well I feel that way.”
    “It’s fine. You saved my life. To be honest, if you hadn’t summoned me, I think I would’ve died.”
    Veronica blushed again. She got up. She started to take off her clothes, then stopped.
    “Um, could you turn around or something?”
    “Sorry!” Danny pulled the blanket over his head and looked the other way. After a few minutes, he could feel Veronica lay down on the other pallet.
    “I’m done now. Thank you.”
    “Good night Veronica.”
    “Good night Danny.”
    As they were about to fall asleep in silence, their door busted open. They could barely make out who it was. Max. He had a very serious look upon his face.
    “Well don’t you two look cozy.”
    “Hey, Max wasn’t it? We were just about to go to sleep. Whatever it is, I’m sure it can wait until--” Danny didn’t get to finish.
    “It can’t wait! Do you have any idea how hard I’ve worked to get here? I’m not going to let some bubbly witch and her boyfriend screw up my chances of becoming something great!”
    Danny looked at Veronica. She was too scared to speak. Danny knew it was up to him to let this guy know that they weren’t going to be pushed around.
    “Look, man, nobody’s extremely happy about the circumstances-”
    “It sure looks that way.”
    “I know what it looks like, okay. But we’re all stuck in a situation that we don’t like,” Danny was standing face to face with Max now, “the least we can do is get along with one another. So how about you enjoy our company, hell, maybe even get to know us, and maybe you’d like us. I like to think that I’m a pretty personable guy.”
    “Unfortunately for you, I don’t think that way. I’m a werewolf, kid, and if you don’t watch out, I just might make you my dinner for the night.”
    “Well, I’d hate to be dogfood and all, but come on man, to be honest, I don’t believe in any of this, for the past two hours, I’ve come to the conclusion this is either A, a dream, or B, a weird private school of LARPers. Either way, I don’t think that I’m actually going to have to be worried.”
    “I don’t know where you come from, I never did enjoy your smell.” Max’s teeth began to grow, but he held back most of his aggression. “You two need to shape up--”
    “ I think you need to shape up your attitude. I don’t care if you have a bunch of built up anger or frustration, you can’t take it out on the new guy, or the shy girl. Just chill. I’m sure we could work through this and enjoy ourselves.”
    “You’ve got some guts, standing up to a werewolf, but I’d just as soon assume it’s because of your lack of knowledge. Let me give you a little demonstration.” Max spouted as he stomped the bed, breaking it in two. Danny realized something important here: this was real. Also that when the new bed came, they’d still be down a bed, which meant more floor time. Danny was overwhelmed with anger, not thinking twice he swung at Max. Landing square on his cheek. Max yelped in pain. A small burn was imprinted on his cheek. Danny came to a conclusion. The guy he bought his ring from didn’t lie when he said it was silver.
    “You show respect to the both of us. I don’t like bad blood.”
    “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Max grumbled and left with a door slam.

    Danny felt lucky to sleep. He and Veronica both agreed that they should let what had occurred fade away and not mention it again. The next morning felt earlier than it was. Still groggy, Danny got dressed and went to class, where Veronica was already waiting.
    “Good morning, sleepyhead.”
    “Why didn’t you wake me up?”
    “You seemed like you had a lot to sleep on.”
    “Sure sure.”
    They didn’t have much time to talk, Arthen came in, and his presence demanded instant attention. Today was the day teams were being made. However, Danny wasn’t too attentive, he already knew his team. As the teams were made, Arthen sent them out of the room to meet one another. The final team joyously left. The only three left were Danny, Max, and Veronica.
    “We already know,” Max lackadaisically stated.
    “Good”, Arthen exclaimed, “now for your first team assignment.
    “Sir, we’re already getting a team assignment?” Veronica piped.
    “Yes, Veronica, you three are to accompany me after noon to investigate a possible vampire attack.”
    “Great, hopefully the runts can keep up.” Max chided.
    “If they don’t, it’s your job to make sure they do, Max.” Arthen ordered.
    Arthen left on that note, making sure they knew after noon they needed to be ready to go on field assignment. Max was furious. Veronica was worried and Danny was already clenching his fist with the ring just in case Max became overzealous in his rage.
    “That’s it, you two better be ready for anything. I’m not going to deal with screw ups on this.”
    “You know what, there’s a reason why we learn this way, it’s because we’re supposed to screw up every once in a while.”
    “You’re a moron. This isn’t a field study, it’s an assignment. We’re dealing with the real thing. You know, murderous, violent, life taking, blood sucking, vampires. If we screw up, we die.”
    “He’s right Danny. We have to be vigilante in what we do today.”
    “Exactly, so don’t screw it up, I’ll see you at noon.”

    CHAPTER 5: No Failure, No Exceptions

    The entire trip kept Danny on edge. He hated the wait. Nobody spoke. Except the wagon coach. He seemed to be relatively cheery.
    “Day call me Parker da Pilgrim, seeins as I’m da wagon coach dat takes peoples to wheres day wanna go, can’t says dayer wrong in it. Beens wit horses all my life. All my life. Hoo boy, can’t seems to rememba a time when I aints been wit horses. Also beens a hunter ma whole life.”
    At least someone was happy with where they were. It seemed like the only two that didn’t have grim expressions on their faces were Arthen and Parker. Maybe being a Vampire Hunter was happy work. Maybe they have just excepted all of the horrible ways they can die that nothing can get them down. Either way, it helps you look at the bright side of things. Danny was starting to shake.
    “Let’s camp here for tonight Parker”, Arthen spoke up. He was making a good judgment. The sun was still setting, but better to set up a defensive camp while you can still see everything around you.
    “Whatever you say”, Parker replied as he halted the horses. The jerk from the sudden stop knocked Danny out.
    “A bits hasty are we boy?” Parker laughed.
    “Just a bit”, Danny let out with a light smile. Veronica couldn’t help but giggle. That ended quickly when Max glared.
    “Don’t bees mistreatin’ a lady like dat boy”, Parker sternly warned Max. “Speciallies not a witch. Shees just might make you a werefly radda dens a wolf.”
    “How do you know what I am? Arthen did you--” Arthen was already gone. He must’ve been collecting supplies from the surrounding area.
    “No boy, he didn’t tell me. I could smell your fleas.”
    Veronica let out another giggle, now freely knowing that she won’t get anymore restrictions on her happiness.
    Night had set off and Arthen still wasn’t back. The four had built a fire waiting for him. Restless without the leader of their party, Parker thought up a great idea to burn the time.
    “Might as wells tell some stories. Any of yous ever seen a vampire befores?”
    Max nodded, the other two shook their heads.
    “Yeah boy? Do you remember hows you felt? Dat feeling dat runs troo your spine?”
    “I wasn’t afraid. I’m no weakling.”
    “Fear don’t make you strong boy, makes you smart.”
    “Fear makes you weak. Your body shakes, you lose feeling, self control, and makes people turn their backs to their enemies. It makes you weak.”
    “Ah boy, I aint never turned my back to noones and I’ve beens ‘fraid more times’n I can count.” His toothy grin shone through his beard. “I sure remembers my first. Fore I was ever da Pilgrim. Parker, da stable boy. Spose’d to be meetin’ a girl in da barn. Mae. Yeah, dat was her name. Funny, I remember mores ‘bout da vampire din da girl. Shees and I’d goes an’ have a lil’ **** once awhile in da barn. So’s dats what wees did. Fores I got dare doe, someding beat me to it. I walked ins to a bloodbaff. Damned nears pissed maself. Aint no denyin’ shees was dead. Dare hees was, standin’ ors hoverin’, whatever da hells day do, over her. Sures enough, he saw me. He made a goes at me, buts I wasn’t no Mae, I was Parker, big for ma age. I gripped da pitchfork nex-ta-me an held it out. Dumbass, I thought to meself. Hees was dead, dust’n all dat. S’funny, I was late for dat night, had I beens early, I’d be dead. Yous learn fast, wees all lucky. E’en you boy.” Danny looked at Max, but realized Veronica, Max, and Parker were all looking at him. How much does this Parker guy know? Danny thought to himself.
    Danny’s attention was directed at something else. A rustling in the bushes just outside of the camp. The others noticed too. Veronica was reciting something to herself in a mumbling tone. Danny grabbed the wooden stakes that were so kindly given to him by Arthen, and readied them in the best way he could. Max crouched defensively behind the wooden log he had been sitting on, backed up by Parker with his sword already drawn. Parker wasn’t so cautiously silent.
    “Come on boy, if ya be a friend, ya best bees as ready to be skewered as da rest!”
    The movements became more swift, and not away. He didn’t scare them away, but Danny knew his plan was far from that. Three men came from the bushes. Not men. They came baring their fangs.
    “Ya feel it now boy?” He almost chuckled at Danny. “Protect da witch, she needs da time!”
    Danny looked at Parker to nod, but noticed something else…… Max.
    Max’s body began convulsing from the insides. He almost doubled in size, hair extruding from all of his pores now. Clothes tearing apart, ripping from his body. His screams of terror and anger combined to make even the vampires halt in their tracks for a moment. Most likely regretting they had jumped a group with a werewolf. His own fangs were out now, and he meant business. Max dove for the first vampire, pinning it to the ground, clawing at it’s chest, expecting an easy kill. Once he tore through the outer garments, he jumped back. Parker and Danny both also made this unfortunate discovery. Parker landed a perfect strike for the heart, and Danny, with a stroke of luck, mashed his stake in its chest, before the vampire could stop him.
    Max’s claws only scratched, the sword dinked off, and the wooden stake broke in on itself. They had steel plates embedded into their chest plates. Danny was terrified. His one maneuver he was sure would work, was already prevented. The three backed up around Veronica. Her chanting began to become more eratic. It sounded as though she had started speaking many different languages. Not just one, but many. And nothing specific. She rose and spoke louder, noting the ending of the channeling of energy.
    “Heulwen, Sol, Soleil, Aurinko, Sunshine!”
    A light too bright. Shadows disappeared. Everything turned to a flash of light. Then stopped. Danny’s eyes needed to adjust. No enemies. They stood there, with piles of ash surrounding them. Even Max was impressed, now in his human form again. He stood in his naked form opening his bag to put his spare clothes on.
    “Well done, witch”, he muttered as he put his garments on and laid down.
    Danny and Veronica couldn’t sleep. Not without Arthen being back in camp. Not with what had just occurred. Max and Parker slept just fine. Danny couldn’t understand how Arthen could simply up and leave. Parker didn’t seem too worried, almost like it happens all the time. He and Veronica didn’t speak. They just sat there. Staring at the burning fire. Dawn was coming. Danny could see the light rising. Safety. Though, he assumed Veronica could easily bring out more sunlight if they were jumped again. In the woods he saw something walking towards them. He stood, stakes drawn, not that they would do him any good. He didn’t want to sound an alarm until he knew for sure though.
    “I see you’re still alive!” Arthen exclaimed across the small patch of woods separating them.
    “Where have you been?” Danny relieved to see Arthen unscathed.
    “I was meeting with our contact before daylight.”
    “You didn’t think to tell us?” Veronica also exasperated.
    “Did I miss anything?”
    “Yes. They’re wearing metal armor over their chests.” Danny informed.
    “Well you couldn’t have expected them to make it that easy to kill them. Besides, from what I saw across the way, Veronica did just fine solving that problem. However, she should know that that was a risky maneuver. If they were Children of Ra, they wouldn’t have been affected by the sunlight.”
    “Of course, but Children of Ra aren’t around these areas.” Veronica stated assuredly.
    “They are now. Come, I’ll tell you everything I’ve learned.”
    Parker and Max got up instantly. Almost as if they were on the edge of sleep the whole time. As they gathered around the fire, Parker threw some bacon on a skillet and fried it over a fire.
    “My informant says that Ra and Anubis, along with other families, have made an alliance.”
    “They don’t normally have one?” Danny was baffled.
    “Far from it Daniel. Usually territory is fought over, but now it appears they’re coming together with a shared goal.” Arthen looked around, making sure they all acknowledged his next words. “To wipe us out.”
    Parker drove the horses harder than yesterday. Arthen wanted to get to the castle as quickly as possible. The sun was just about to go down by the time they came upon it. They were lucky, Arthen pointed out, to not have any trouble getting there. As they arrived, the gate was already down. Danny noted the structure. It was more a decoration than a castle. It was shaped like a giant claw, ornamented with gargoyles throughout. There was no inside. Not really. He could point out how weak defenses and small huts were built on this Solid rock. Armaments, eating quarters, everything was there. The only thing that was missing were the people. Danny figured it was a precautionary measure. They had evacuated the city in case a vampire attack occurred. They gathered supplies and set up in the huts.

    CHAPTER 6: A Lonely Rock in the Sun

    Arthen stayed awake while the rest layed down. Danny needed the sleep. Other than a quick nap he had, he wasn’t fully rested. As the sun lowered, and the moon raised, he heard something. Crackling. Crunching. Breaking. His eyes opened. It wasn’t just in his head. He ran outside. The last crack of light left, and there it was. All of the stone ornaments that were gargoyles, broke away. Many flew off patrolling the area. Many dropped down to the living quarters. They were huge, magnificent and grizzled. Arthen happily greeted them.
    “Ah, Narfell, good to see you survived the day.”
    “Thank you Arthen, you as well. With Sons of Ra walking about, my people are grateful to have you here.”
    “You’re…you’re.. Gargoyles.”
    “You told me he was new, not slow.”
    “He has no knowledge of this world.”
    It hit Danny then. The castle. It was built on a giant claw. He stepped back and began to weerily watch the claw.
    “Yes, it is our king.”
    “Will he change too?”
    “Not unless we ever find a way to retrieve a ball of light from his stomach. You see, a long time ago, Kabgul, King of Gargoyles, was imprisoned by men. They used magic of all the worlds, and convinced him to swallow a ball of sunlight”
    “Why would they do that?”
    “We gargoyles are bound to protect humans. No harm may come to one that we don’t try to prevent. However, though similar in appearance sometimes, Demons worked a little differently. They convinced 5 great sorcerers he was one of them, and that they must imprison him.”
    By this time, Max and Veronica were standing beside Danny. Veronica was marveling at the sight.
    “They’re so beautiful!” She let out.
    “We have been called many things, my lady, but that may be the first beautiful that I’ve heard in the millenia that I’ve lived.”
    Max merely scoffed. He had no interest in gargoyles, just as gargoyles had no interest in him or his lineage. Danny, on the other hand, wanted to know more. Not only that, but he wanted to have allies. He knew, if he was going to be stuck in this world, he wanted friends that would be more than willing to back him up in his time of need. Gargoyles seemed like great friends to keep around.
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2012
  2. Firiath

    Firiath Halfling barbarian

    Oct 24, 2004
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    +793 / 5 / -0
    Before I talk about my vote, let me offer some well-meant criticism. Most of the sentences are rather short, which kind of breaks the reading flow. Try to use more connections between the sentences, or merge them maybe. This could make your story more easy and more fun to read.
    In addition, also the chapters are rather short, with not much space for (character/place) descriptions and character development. I know that too many descriptions can kill a story, but too few could make a short seem rather flat, if you know what I mean.

    However, I voted "yes". Continue writing this story, trying to improve your style. If you stopped you wouldn't go anywhere (obviously), so keep on writing! Skill comes with practice, as we all know. :)
  3. Manbandage

    Manbandage New Member

    Jun 15, 2012
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    Thank you very much, it's rare that people often give good criticism.
    I will continue the story and try to put your advice into account. :)