untitled-i think its come to a screaching halt, what about you?

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by magicunicorn, Sep 17, 2006.

  1. magicunicorn

    magicunicorn a little crazy

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    I don't know if its good or not, tell me what you think. I think i put it as an attachment, i dont know View attachment Chapter one.doc
     
  2. HumanInfiltrator

    HumanInfiltrator The Book club lady

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    The idea has potential, depending on where you plan on taking it. There is a certain TV show quality to it, and it is not fantasy but it could turn into a nice Psi-Fi number.
     
  3. BBallForLife

    BBallForLife New Member

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    It's pretty good, I have to agree with HumanInfiltrator.
     
  4. magicunicorn

    magicunicorn a little crazy

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    well, its not ment to be a fantasy story, i was going to try and take it that way, but it doesn't look like its going to work. Yeah, i know this is a fantasy story place but my other forums, i don't like those people, and its easier to post here anyway, so do you want to read more or, not?
     
  5. HumanInfiltrator

    HumanInfiltrator The Book club lady

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    Off course, we don't discriminate.
     
  6. BBallForLife

    BBallForLife New Member

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    I wasn't saying anything bad. I love fanfics regardless of the genre. I would love to see more.
     
  7. magicunicorn

    magicunicorn a little crazy

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    Awsome, im glad to hear that someone likes it, anyway, i'll try to make it were you just have to read it and not wait for it to load, hold on, i got it!! kool, :duh: im so smart! JK!


    Bridget walked up to Matt’s house and knocked on the front door. She was not used to doing this. Every time she had went into a house of some guy she either broke through a window or snuck in. Depending on whether or not there was anyone else in the house. He opened the door with a cup of coffee in his hand and a spatula in the other.
    “Making breakfast?” Bridget asked.
    “Yeah, come in,” Matt said.
    “Who is that?” A woman’s voice came from the living room.
    “A person from work ma, don’t worry about it,” Matt said. They walked into the kitchen and the smell of sausage, gravy and biscuits flooded Bridget’s senses. She hadn’t had a home cooked breakfast since she moved out of her mom’s house. Her stomach growled and she placed her hand over it. Matt shifted his gaze from his pan and looked at her.
    “Have you eaten?” He asked. Bridget shook her head guiltily and smiled some, “well, you’ll just have to eat here then,”
    “Oh no, I couldn’t I just came to get the stuff about...” Matt silenced her with one look, “alright,” She murmured. He turned back to his pan and continued with what he was doing.
    “So you live with your mom?” Bridget asked straightening a stack of papers.
    “More like she lives with me,” Matt said, “And if you wondering, those kids that are here are my sister’s kids,” Bridget nodded.
    “So you don’t have any kids or are married? And why didn’t you correct me last night when I said keep your wife out of the kitchen?” She asked.
    “I was married, became ex about two months ago, and I wasn’t about to correct someone that was holding a knife to my neck,” Matt said with absolutely no sorrow in his voice.
    “True” Bridget said.
    “Uncle Matt, Grandma is hogging the TV and watching Dr. Phil,” One of the kids walked in the kitchen in their pajama’s.
    “Grab the remote and change the channel then tell her Dr. Phil’s over,” Matt said smiling.
    “Okay,” The little boy ran off to the living room. Bridget giggled.
    “That’s Michael, he’s 9, one of the middle children, the other is Laura, she’s 10, then there is Mark, he’s the oldest and in college, then, Gabby, the youngest, she is 5,” Matt explained.
    “Oh,” Bridget whispered.
    “What about you, Do you have a family?” Matt asked as he pulled the biscuits out of the oven.
    “No, I don’t actually live in my house, my boss has had me everywhere in the past few months my neighbors are probably wondering if I died,” Bridget said.
    “Where do you live?” Matt asked.
    “About 10 minutes away from here,” Bridget said.
    “Why didn’t you stay at your house while doing this job?” Matt asked.
    “I don’t want my boss to know where I live and he gets the hotel bills, if he didn’t get one this time he would probably fire me because he would think that I stayed with a friend and now we are not allowed too,” Bridget explained.
    “Well, that bites,” Matt said, “Do you want a cup of coffee?”
    “Please,” Bridget said as Matt grabbed a cup from his cupboard and filled it with coffee.
    “Thank you,” She said when he handed it to her. He nodded and turned around.
    “Would you like me to set the table?” Bridget asked. Matt looked up at her with a surprised expression on his face.
    “Just because I run around holding a knife screaming screw the world doesn’t mean I don’t know how to set a table,” Bridget said a little annoyed.
    “Yeah, the plates are in this cabinet,” He said pointing to a cabinet above his head, “and the silverware is in this drawer,” he pointed to a drawer on his left. Bridget nodded and opened the drawer. There were six people so she counted out six forks, and six butter knifes. She grabbed plates and headed into the dinning room. She set up the places and then helped Matt put the food on the table.
    “So, do you ever eat a home cooked meal?” Matt asked.
    “Lets see, the last time I had a home cooked meal I was 22, and it was my mothers birthday and I cooked,” Bridget said as she sat down a cup in front of a plate.
    “Well, now, that’s a long time, and how old are you now?” Matt asked carefully.
    “28,” Bridget said.
    “That’s a really long time,” Matt said, “I believe you had just started then,”
    “Yeah, that’s the last time I actually saw my mother, now I talk to her on the phone,” Bridget said as she looked at the table and made sure everything was on it. She sighed and looked up at Matt who was just staring at her. She now realized he was way taller than her. He leaned against the table studying her.
    “What?” Bridget asked. Matt smiled and said nothing.
    “Breakfast!!” He yelled so that the people in the living room could hear him.
     
  8. HumanInfiltrator

    HumanInfiltrator The Book club lady

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    Yippee. Keep going. This dude is really forgiving isn't he.
     
  9. BBallForLife

    BBallForLife New Member

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    Still good. I really want to see more!!
     
  10. magicunicorn

    magicunicorn a little crazy

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    Thanks guys, HumanInfiltrator, what do you mean? I'll have more here in a minute,
     
  11. magicunicorn

    magicunicorn a little crazy

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    heres more, srry its so short i haven't had time to type, i'll work on it some more later but i think im all typed out, because im so tired i can't type straight,

    Everyone walked in and sat down. Bridget sat down next to who she guessed was Laura. Everyone loaded their plates and Bridget took what she thought she could eat, which was a very small portion.
    “Uncle Matt, who is that?” Gabby asked pointing to Bridget.
    “This is Bridget, I work with her at the shop,” Matt said.
    “Oh, really, what do you do?” Matt’s mother asked.
    “She works on cars with me,” Matt said.
    “Oh, well, I didn’t know that there was a woman working in the shop with you,” Matt’s mother said. Matt just nodded and continued eating. Bridget took a bite of her food and suddenly she felt like she hadn’t eaten in months, which was partially true. She never ate very much.
    “Uncle Matt, Did you know my birthday is in one week, the same day that Mark gets out of college for his break?” Michael asked.
    “No I didn’t, where is your birthday party going to be?” Matt asked him.
    “I don’t know probably at the house because mom said we don’t have enough money to go somewhere,” Michael said sadly.
    “We can have it here, in the back yard,” Matt said.
    “Really?” Michael’s eyes lit up. Bridget had to smile, so she did and ended up surprising herself. Matt nodded and they started a conversation about decorations, but Bridget was to busy thinking. She ate in silence, keeping to herself. After everyone had eaten and the table had been cleared and the dishes washed, Matt lead Bridget to his office.
     
  12. BBallForLife

    BBallForLife New Member

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    A shorty but a goody! :)
     
  13. magicunicorn

    magicunicorn a little crazy

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    thanks, i dont have anything right now but i'll work tomorrow *yawns* i'm going to bed.
     
  14. magicunicorn

    magicunicorn a little crazy

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    Nevermind, i guess i had some left in me, here's some more,


    “Alright you want to know about A. sap,” Matt said as he sat in a chair. Bridget nodded and took the seat he offered her.
    “Well, as you know A. sap was like the Declaration of Independence for the Americans, it stated that every employee had their own right of speech, dress, interests, etc.” Matt explained.
    “Have you read it?” Bridget asked.
    “Yes, when it disappeared I was on a mission that I had not reported because no one reported their missions when it disappeared for fear that they had accidentally been in the same place it disappeared in,” He paused for one moment to open the curtains of the office.
    “I was in Ireland, on a job, of course, and I was called to come home when it disappeared without accomplishing my mission, then, I did that one last job and quit,” He said simply. Bridget stared at him for a moment letting it soak in.
    “Was that what you wanted to hear?” Matt asked.
    “Well, yeah that helps,” Bridget said. She jumped as her cell phone rang.
    “Hello,” She answered.
    “Why aren’t you back yet, and why haven’t I seen a death in the papers?” Her boss was pissed but she didn’t care and hung up the phone.
    “Your boss?” Matt asked.
    “Yeah, wondering why I’m not back yet and why there isn’t a death in the papers,” Bridget sighed.
    “So, are you going to kill me?” Matt asked with a smirk on his face.
    “No,” Bridget said bitterly, “I had better go so I can straighten this whole thing out with my boss then go on with my life,”
    “You call killing people your life?” Matt asked in disbelief.
    “No, I call that my job, there is a difference you know,” Bridget said as she stood up. Matt stood up as well and they walked into the living room together.
    “Good-bye, Bridget Jones,” Matt said as he held the door open for her. She smiled and walked to her car. As she drove away she realized why he quit so long ago.
     
  15. HumanInfiltrator

    HumanInfiltrator The Book club lady

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    Good, nice and mind bendy. I meant she was going to kill him and he just calmly lets her come back and eat with the family.
     
  16. BBallForLife

    BBallForLife New Member

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    If you mentioned it before, I'm sorry, but I was wondering if you based Bridget on the movie character Bridget Jones.
     
  17. magicunicorn

    magicunicorn a little crazy

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    1. humaninflitrator, OH, well no, because if you read it, he knows her, think about it,
    2. Who's that? and no i didn't know ther was a movie character named Bridget Jones, really i didn't, do i have to change her last name? I'll have more later i haven't had time to write,
     
  18. magicunicorn

    magicunicorn a little crazy

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    I'm on a creative boat today!!!!!!!!!! here's some I have to take abreak to gether toughts and all that but i'll have more, the end of chapter one!!:

    She opened the door to her hotel and walked in. Throwing herself on her bed she all of a sudden felt like she was being watched. She sat up slowly and looked around her hotel room examining everything. She closed her eyes and pictured the room like it was now. She began to listen. From the other end of the room was a heart beat and breathing. She pictured where it was coming from and saw the person hiding in the shadows. He smiled an evil smile and Bridget opened her eyes. The man in the corner spoke in a very raspy whisper.
    “Your boss wants to know why you haven’t accomplished your mission,” Bridget reached behind her and into her pants where she hid a small dagger. He came out of the shadows and walked dangerously close to her. She looked up to him and in a flash that neither her nor her opponent expected, she drove the dagger into his heart. She pushed him out to the balcony, pulled the dagger out and pushed him over the side. She looked over for only a moment then gathered her stuff.
    “You’re checking out?” The lady at the desk asked.
    “Yes,” Bridget said. The lady messed with the computer and looked up at Bridget.
    “Alright, I hope you had a great stay,” The lady said.
    “Yes, it was fabulous,” Bridget said as she walked out to her car. She threw everything in the back and started her car. Her favorite song was playing on the radio so she turned it up. As she drove out of the hotel parking lot, a man was found dead on the sidewalk.
     
  19. BBallForLife

    BBallForLife New Member

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    It's still good. Bridget Jones is a character from "Bridget Jone's Diary." You don't have to change it, I was just wondering.
     
  20. magicunicorn

    magicunicorn a little crazy

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    oh, that is weird, i really didn't know that, thanks, i don't have anything now but i will later.