Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by BBallForLife, Jul 6, 2006.
I'm working on chapter two right now.
cool can't wait to read it, chapter three is comming right now on mine to.
To clear up some confusion, I decided to give a little background information on the world in my story:
Allion- Discovered in the Second Age, Allion is a large yet peaceful country, located in the middle of the world. It is a large farming land where only bandits are causes of trouble. There are a few bands of nomadic groups left in the area, but not many. The founder of Allion was the nomad Grith-Hawk.
Salor- The military province of the world. It was discovered in the late First Age by the warrior Gorith Wyvern-Slayer. The country is fairly small, but easily the strongest. The people are known for their intense brutality and their war machines. Salor lies to the north of Allion. The Warriors's Guild lies in this country.
Grammore- The newest country, founded in the early Third Age by the mage- warrior Alliden Shadow-Searcher. The country is known for their technological advances. The country lies to the west of Allion.
Woren- The ancient country as it is known. The first country founded in the early First Age. It was founded by the elf Salion Wise-One. Only two citites remain in Woren, the Light Elves and the Dark Elves. Civil War constantly ravage the land. Woren lies to the east of Allion.
Gerimtore- The rogue land. Only big cities lie in this country. They are run by gangs and mercenaries. It is a heavy trading country, but only in the day. It was founded by the rogue Dirk Small-Blades.
The Northern Lands- The dwarves live in this area, though it isn't a country. There are few humans living in these lands. The mountains are infested with horrific beasts.
The Tropic Islands- Home to the Ancients, an ancient group of humanoids, though much bigger and stronger. They are said to still know the art of magic, but they can't be reached unless the ancients decide it so.
Wow. This story is pretty good. Can't wait for more...
Sorry guys, I was at a religion camp all last week, then visited family this weekend. I'm just sitting down to typing. Don't worry chapter 2 is coming.
P.S. I thought of a new land also. The Eastern Plains- As stated, they lie to the east. They are home to the barbaric tribes who are named after animals, During the full moon each month, they can transform into their tribe's animal. They are ferocious fighters. The founder was the chief Chane-Bearclaw who could transform into what else, a bear.
Once again, I have come up with another country. The Old Kingdom- So old that the name has been forgotten. People still live here, but no king rules it. It was formed shortly after Woren. The elves and the humans lived in peace until the human king ordered the assassination of the elven prince in the early second age. The plot went through, and the elves went to war with the humans. The aging king with no successor, cast a spell on the human king. The king's enchanted blade was sealed into the ground in the throneroom until his blood came to claim. The spell prevented anyone from ruling. The Old Kingdom lies to the east of Salor.
Chapter 2: Attack From Above
Samuel made his way towards the large forest that bordered the mountains, east of Luman. If Avisha was correct, the Grammorean troops would have to go through the forest, and make their way over the mountains to return home. Samuel did not know what he planned to do. There had to be at least sixty soldiers, he thought. As he pondered his next move, wyvern shadows passed overhead. There were three in all. A large black one carried what Samuel supposed was the leader. Two red wyverns flanked him to either side. The body of Avisha was laid across the neck of the black one.
Samuel drew his bow and cocked back an arrow. He took careful aim at the leader’s head. Like a flash of lightning, the arrow flew through the air, just missing the leader’s neck. The man turned around just as Samuel hid in a large tuft of grass.
* * *
Gaindrick heard the twang of the bowstring, but merely thought it was nothing more than a drift of air. The arrow flying by his head, however, was different. He whipped around and saw a leg disappearing into some large grass. “So a child lives. Cutha,” the wyvern to his left moved closer, “dispose of him.”
“Yes sir,” replied the soldier, and then swooped down. His wyvern screeched in delight. It was time for more killing!
* * *
A tall mercenary sat atop his black warhorse and watched the seen in front of him. He had a brilliant red chest plate on, and was wearing dwarven –made leggings. He had on yellow gauntlets and boots. Altogether he looked like a performer on Feastday. He was one of six other mercenaries sitting in a copse of trees near the forest. They had been hired by the Warrior’s Guild itself to scout out new men. The Warrior’s Guild was lacking these days. New recruits were hard to come by since the Demon War a decade before. The man motioned to the other men to come close.
“What should we do, Lellian?” asked a man in a pure black cloak sitting on Lellian’s side.
Lellian pondered the question for a moment, “We wait to see what the boy can do. Then we make our move.”
The others nodded in agreement, and then settled in for the battle.
* * *
Samuel cursed. He had been spotted, and now a wyvern was after him. He drew his bow and tried to think of books he had read. The wyvern’s weak spot was at the base of the neck, where the neck meets the shoulder. He drew an arrow and tried to concentrate, though it wasn’t very easy with a twenty foot wyvern diving at you. He shot the arrow and hoped for the best. Sure enough, he had hit it. The wyvern screeched. Unfortunately, he had only hit it in the eye. The wyvern was blinded, but not dead. It landed and screeched at Samuel. Samuel jumped out of the grass, and fired another arrow. It flew true this time, and pierced the weak spot. The wyvern cried out, then fell to the ground. The soldier on the wyvern hopped off the wyvern, and rushed at Samuel, spear raised. Samuel threw his bow down, and rushed to meet the assailant with his quarterstaff twirling.
“You’re going to pay for that you little brat,” yelled the man as he jabbed his spear point at Samuel’s chest. Samuel easily brushed it to the side with his quarterstaff. Samuel struck the side of the man’s head. The man brushed it off and struck at Samuel, who was overbalanced from his last strike. The spear point drove deep. Samuel felt his lifeblood flowing out of him. With his final strike, he pushed his secret button on his quarterstaff. A small blade came out of the end, an idea from his late father long ago. He stuck the blade in-between the grate in the front of his black helmet. The man screamed out; then fell over dead, blood flowing freely from the wound.
Samuel took a step back. His vision was blurring. He didn’t know it, but he had fallen onto his back. Slowly his vision went black.
* * *
Samuel opened his eyes to see a night sky above him He sat up, and was met with a fresh jolt of pain from his side. Fear gripped him. Had he been captured by the Grammorean troops? Sure enough, three men sat around a campfire maybe five feet away from Samuel.
“Ah. So I see you have awakened. How do you feel?” asked a voice from behind.
Samuel slowly turned around to see who had spoken to him. It was a wolf! Samuel let out a little shriek.
“Oh. Forgive me. I had forgotten I was still in this form,” as the wolf said this, its form began to change, until a grown man was standing in front of him. The man had to be about seven feet tall. He had humongous muscles. His biceps were probably as big as Samuel’s body! He had tribal markings all over his body. Smooth, jet black hair sat on his head. Two battle-axes hung at his waist. “I am sorry. Now back to your health. How do you feel?”
“I feel fine. May I leave?”
“Don’t worry. We will not hurt you. Plus you are lying like I gave you snake root. Anyway, my name is Janta. I hail from the Wolf Clan in the Eastern Plains. I am a mercenary. What is your name?”
“I am Samuel Avrie. It is a pleasure to meet you.”
“We saw your fight with the wyvern. Impressive shooting, and your fight with the soldier was amazing. Did you know he was an elite guard?”
“I don’t care what he was. The Grammoreans took my life away. The only thing I care about now is revenge. And why do you keep referring to yourself as we?”
“Oh. Forgive me once again. You are with my mercenary band from the city of Elinwood, in the country of Gerimtore. We were hired to scout out new recruits for the Warrior’s Guild. About your revenge. You should take it slower. You are lucky that I am skilled in herbs, or you would have died from that wound.”
“Janta! Guard your tongue! Who knows if he is a spy or not?” inquired a man shrouded in an all black cloak.
“Don’t worry Eternity. He is good. I can sense it,” replied Janta.
“Ha. You can sense it. Remember last time you said that? We ended up with beings from the ethereal plane chasing us. I guess that summoner wasn’t good after all. What do you think Janta?” asked Eternity.
“All right you two. Stop it now. We already discussed, and we decided that he is with us. He was fighting Grammoreans, not helping them,” said a man wearing a red breastplate, and yellow gauntlets and boots. He also had brownish pants on.
“Thank you Lellian,” said Janta. He then turned into a wolf again, and rushed into the night.
“Good day Samuel. My name is Lellian. I am a mercenary from Gerimtore as Janta already pointed out. We know of your troubles. Another of our mercenaries has the ability to read minds, though it doesn’t always work. Tell me your version of what happened so I can compare your story with hers.” Of coarse no one could read minds, but Lellian hoped it would work.
Samuel took his time telling the story of what had happened to Luman. Afterwards, he fell silent.
Lellian stared at him in sympathy. “Alright, let me get this straight. You want to save Avisha, who is being held by a noble of Grammore, and not just any noble, but the Chief of Magic Restoration? Wow boy that is going to be tough. Watching your fighting, I noticed that you are good, but could use a lot of improvement. Let me make a deal with you. You come with us and spend some time with the Warrior’s Guild. There you will receive all of the training you need and more. Plus you will earn money. Then you can buy yourself some good armor. When you are ready, my entire mercenary band, which consists of roughly one thousand men and women will accompany you to Grammore. Don’t worry about Avisha. She sounds tough, and I’m sure Gaindrick won’t hurt her until magic is restored, which shouldn’t be any time soon. What do you say?”
“Samuel pondered on these words for a few moments. “Alright, I will do it.”
“Good boy,” said Lellian, clasping Samuel’s soldier, “now go and get some more sleep. We leave tomorrow.”
* * *
Avisha opened her eyes to the sight the ground hundreds of feet below her. Avisha tried to scream, but nothing came out. She tried to squirm, but also found she couldn’t.
“Good morning my dear girl,” came Gaindrick’s voice to the left of her, “finding you can’t move? That would be thanks to numb root. Your entire body is completely numb. Now you can’t use your pesky spells.”
As Gaindrick began to laugh, Avisha had only one thought. Don't forget our promise Samuel. Then she passed back out.
Just finished reading this last bit - this is pretty good, and I like how it's progressing!
Ah, the plot thickens! I actually don't mind this story, and I think your writing style is getting better...even just a little.
Thanks for the input guys.
Chapter 3 on the way.
How close is chapter 3 to being finished?
Well, I can type some more tonite. Expect an update by tommorrow.
Don't worry. I was just wondering. B
I've only read the first chapter yet, but it's great!
Ok, sorry guys and girls, but I've been playing basketball all day, and I'm kind of tired. I don't know if I'll be able to finish chapter 3 by tonite.
wow bball im so happy u dedicated your new story to me! if i ever write a story it will go out to u!
Thanks King Eduardo.
Chapter 3- Trouble in the Hills
It had been two days since the mercenary band had found Samuel. Two long days filled with talk of strategy and the world during the riding, and sword, axe, and bow training during the breaks. They had moved roughly twenty-five miles from Luman in the two days. Slow progress, but Lellian insisted on filling Samuel with some understanding of what days in the Warrior’s Guild would be like. Samuel had made much progress in his short time training with Janta for the axes, Lellian for the sword, and another person in the band (a female Light Elf named Alexandria) for the bow. Also in the band was Eternity (a human with silver hair and red eyes), Catherine (a human bandit, skilled in knives), Pethos (a former soldier from the country Salor), and a dwarf named Falin.
It was dawn of the third day. They had camped in the hills that bordered Salor. Samuel opened his eyes to the sight of another dreary day. He yawned and wiped the rest of sleep out of his eyes. The sun was just rising. Staring at the fire to his left, he noticed Alexandria sitting alone. He walked over to her.
“Good morning Alexandria,” said Samuel.
“Tu-en thal, Samuel,” returned the female elf. Samuel stared at her in confusion, “it means may the sun shine on your grove this day. Good morning to humans.”
“Oh,” finished Samuel, sitting next to her. He could not help but stare at her, for she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Blonde hair flowed down her back. Blue eyes stuck out in her fair skin. She was small and lithe. When she spoke, music seemed to come out of her mouth.
“How are you faring young one?” inquired the elf. Samuel kept on forgetting that she looked young, but in actuality was almost two hundred and fifty years old!
“I try to forget it, but I can’t. At least the crying and retching has stopped.”
“How can you do it? How can you try to forget what happened to your family, your friends? How can you be such a monster?” Alexandria cried, anger rising.
Samuel seemed taken aback. He pondered the question, and then answered, “Because there is someone out there right now that needs my help. I promised her long ago that if she was ever in trouble, I would come to her aid. That is what keeps me going. Life moves on; love doesn’t.”
“Hmmm…interesting. It seems that I have misjudged you,” with that she stood
and left. Samuel just stared in disbelief. Women, he thought.
“Well look who’s up bright and early,” remarked the dwarf Falin as he walked to the fire. He was very small, maybe four foot tall, but he was as ferocious as the giant Janta. He was wearing a black mail chest plate, and green pants. Dragon-hide boots covered his feet.
“I couldn’t sleep. I had a weird dream,” replied Samuel.
“Happens to the best of us,” replied Falin, placing an iron pan over the fire. A mush-like substance was inside. It was Falin’s special meal. A sort of oatmeal substance with various meats mixed into it.
Samuel laid onto his back and looked at the sky. Clouds covered the sky. A falcon flew overhead. Strange, he thought, falcons aren’t native to these parts. He began to ponder the idea. Suddenly, the solution hit him. “Bandits!” he cried.
Sure enough, dozens of shapes arose around the camp, completely surrounding them. Lellian and the others joined Samuel and Falin around the fire.
“A very inquisitive young boy,” came a voice. The bandits in front of Samuel parted, and a monster of a man walked into the clearing. He was at least eight feet tall. He wore no armor, just a leather tank top adorned with two skulls on either shoulder. He had on normal leggings. A humongous greatsword was held in his right hand. A red bandana was tied to his forehead. A shaggy black beard covered his face. He was also bald. The falcon was resting on his shoulder.
A red bandana, thought Samuel, where have I heard of it before. He gasped as realization dawned on him. The Red Claw bandit group! That would make this man the feared Allithan, the notorious leader!
“Hello Allithan,” said Lellian, “what honor do we possess to once again run into you and your gang?”
“Oh, my dear friend Lellian. Your money does you no good this time. Instead, we need the boy. We’ve been hired by a certain Gaindrick to dispose of survivors from Luman. Just hand him over, and no one gets hurt, besides the boy of course.” At this, the bandits began to laugh.
“Never Allithan. This boy holds more potential than even you,” replied Eternity, “I for one will not let him die.”
“Is that you, Eternity? I thought The Black Daggers took care of you long ago. This fight might be fun,” replied Allithan. The Black Daggers were another bandit clan that was known for assassins.
“I think you might find the Black Daggers lacking in numbers these days,” finished Eternity with a smile.
“Ah good ol’ Eternity. Still harboring the demon, or has he finally let go?” At this, Eternity fell silent.
“Alright Allithan,” said Lellian, “either move or die. A simple choice.”
Allithan smiled, “I will look for you on the battlefield my old friend.” At this, he raised his hand. The bandits raised their weapons. “Arm yourselves,” remarked Lellian. Allithan dropped his hand, and the bandits rushed in. Utter chaos followed the charge.
Samuel had armed himself with his father’s sword, choosing to kill rather than maim. So the bandits were after him, well he’d show them a thing or two. The first bandit to meet him carried a spiked axe. The bandit swung at his head. Samuel dropped to his knee, and then brought his blade up into the man’s groin. The man fell to the ground screaming. Samuel finished him off; then moved on.
Off to the side, Janta had both of his battleaxes out, and had turned into a whirlwind of blades. Bandits fell to the left and right. Strangely, Alexandria had climbed onto his shoulders, and was firing arrow after arrow into the sea of bandits.
It was hopeless. No matter how many the mercenaries killed, more and more bandits flooded into the clearing. Samuel jabbed, parried, and struck over and over again; a constant motion. He had fought his way to Lellian’s side, who was fighting with twin shortswords. Together, they killed at least thirty men, yet the tides still hadn’t turned.
Briefly, Samuel had seen Eternity. Eternity fought with a spear with blades on each side. His hands were a blur as he twisted the weapon this way and that. It seemed that he was possessed. His eyes were pure red; there were no pupils. He seemed to glow with a red aura. But, just as briefly as Samuel saw him, he again was swallowed up by the bandit forces.
“Lellian,” came the voice of Allithan, “come and do battle with me. Give me a challenge!”
“Samuel,” said Lellian, “if I do not return, Falin will take control of the band. Do not fear. He will guide you to the Guild, and as promised, will aid you in the battle against Gaindrick. You are truly a special boy Samuel. Make sure you do not die out here.” With that, he rushed out into the fray.
Samuel stared in disbelief. He was now alone. He fought with an untold fury. He fought his way to another familiar face, Pethos. Pethos used a halberd. He was a tall man, perhaps six and a half feet or so. He was clean-shaven, but had long black hair, native to the people of Salor. He wore a full armor suit that was his while he was in the army, though he lost his helm on one of the band’s many excursions.
“Pethos,” remarked Samuel as he continued to kill bandits, “Lellian has left. He’s fighting Allithan right now.”
“I know young one,” replied Pethos, “have faith. Lellian will be fine.”
Samuel nodded. Two bandits closed in on him. One had an axe, and the other a shortsword. Samuel prepared to charge them, when two thin blades pierced both in the lower stomach. They slid off the blades and fell to the ground. Behind them stood Alexandria. She now carried two katanas. The bow was on her back. Alexandria nodded, and then disappeared again.
Suddenly, the fighting ceased. At first Samuel continued, but then he stopped also. The bandits were moving towards a circle of others.
“Here,” said Janta, “climb onto my back. Tell me what happens.” Samuel mounted the barbarian.
In the middle of the circle stood two men, Lellian and Allithan. “Are you ready Lellian?” asked Allithan, spitting at Lellian’s feet. In response, Lellian rushed forward and began to strike at Allithan with his twin blades. Allithan brushed them off with his axe (which he was now carrying in his other hand), and continued to swing the greatsword at Lellian. However, Lellian was too fast for the gigantic blade. He scored a quick hit, leaving a gash on Allithan’s hip. Allithan howled, and then swung the axe at Lellian, hitting him squarely in the chest. Lellian’s armor stayed strong, however. He was knocked off his feet, but wasn’t killed.
“Getting slow eh’ Lellian?” said Allithan, closing in on Lellian’s still body. It was a fake though. Lellian jumped to his feet as Allithan’s blade fell where Lellian’s body had been. It became stuck in the ground. Lellian rushed in…to meet Allithan’s axe tip. It caught Lellian right in the stomach; a mortal wound. Lellian fell onto his back, never to move again.
“Ha ha,” cried Allithan,” victory at last. Come on boys. We’ll be back, and next time, you won’t be so lucky!” Allithan and the rest of the band rushed off.
“Lellian!” yelled Samuel. He jumped off of Janta’s back, and rushed to the leader’s still body. Catherine beat him there however. She was a small woman, as most rogues were. She had short brown hair, and green eyes. She was wearing a tight full leather suit, with a blue cape tied to her back. A small piece of black cloth, matching her clothing, covered from her nose down on her face.
She dropped down beside Lellian, and cradled his head into her hands. She began to sob. Samuel dropped down beside her.
“Sam…uel,” came Lellian’s voice. Apparently, he wasn’t dead just yet, “remember…what I…said. Follow…Falin. He is…a good man. You… are destined for…greatness. Remember me…always.” And with those words, Lellian left this troubled world forever.
“Janta, aren’t there herbs or anything?’ cried Samuel, “can’t you bring him back?”
Janta shook his head slowly. “I’m sorry Samuel. There is nothing I can do.”
“I hate all of you!” cried Samuel, “just leave me alone!” Samuel rushed out into the hills. Janta prepared to run after him, but Falin stopped him. “Just let him go. He’ll come back.”
Catherine let Lellian go, then turned to the others. “We must get revenge. Eternity! With your demon inside of you, you could easily take Allithan!”
“No Catherine,” replied Falin, “Samuel is our number one concern now. We gotta see him safely to Salor, and then we go after the Red Claw. Agreed?”
The rest of the band nodded their heads, and then settled down to wait for Samuel’s return. Lellian’s body would have to wait to be buried.
This is getting really good. I can't wait to see what happens next.
Separate names with a comma.