Let me tell you about how I lost hope in humanity My voyage on how I lost my sanity Started right from the start My father and I were forever miles apart The love was never felt from with in I felt hated and like my existence was a sin Yet he embraced my sister with everything in his heart Not seeing how it was the first step to me falling apart A divorce came years later, I was stuck in the middle of the fight Stranded in the darkness looking for light Peace never came to me I got overweight and became lazy As another person entered my life My step dad who made my mother his wife Yet he never complimented me, always there to point out when I'm wrong Complained about my weakness and the fact I wasn't strong Then the world turned even a darker pitch of black When every ally became an enemy on the attack Calling me fat and overweight Not seeing the stress, depression and anxiety at the gate School ripped me to pieces Not a soul could save me not even Jesus I had no where to turn to Only the many miles I biked and ran when I was blue Forever rejected and denied Destroying every part of me on the inside My health was been a constant war Still a cure I still search for Expectations forever dooming me Years ago I ran away from reality The many times I almost committed suicide For the simple fact I have no where to run and hide I give everything I have and it will never be enough, it's true Let me tell you about my many conclusions, let me give you a clue Family, friends and past girl friends will never understand Perfection is what they demand As I continue to sink in the quick sand People come and go and alone I shall stand What is it that I lack?, why am I never enough for you? These questions are far from new Alone crying in the night About all the things that I wish went right Why can't I fix what has been done? It has been a lifetime since I have seen the sun I need someone to stay by my side Before there is nothing left on the inside The world has damaged me greatly Here it is for the rest to see What happened to this writer who lives in fantasy? Another story needs to be told for the eyes that view me Love is potential, it is the rainbow that should shine bright The most beautiful element to life that brings light Why have I lost it again? As I can only say this with my pen Days turn to weeks, as a month or two passes by Barely existing only a few can spot this fly I wish not to find love anymore For all it does is rip me apart even more Just another let down, another thing I miss How much more can I take of this?