The Super Duper Tusken Answering Machine

Discussion in 'Spam....' started by hatchet13, Oct 16, 2018.

  1. hatchet13

    hatchet13 The Nasty Tusken

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    I am just gonna start answering every post I can whenever I can or until I get bored or until I lose my phone or get arrested .
     
  2. RayCaptain

    RayCaptain Generalkommentermarshall of TFF

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    How'd you choose your username
     
  3. hatchet13

    hatchet13 The Nasty Tusken

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    Ahhh , well , let me spin you a yarn the likes of which you never have heard ... or maybe you have , I can't be certain .
    Anyway it was a typical day on Tatooine - Hot ,Dry ,Sandy and sucking worse than you could imagine . I had just finished knocking the teeth from the family of moisture farmers we had just raided with my bestest and most hurtingest hatchet and had sat back for a good smoke when it began .
    One of my brother's , let's call him Randall came over and asked if I planned on sharing any of the teeth I had just extracted or what .
    I looked at him through the cloud of PCP smoke and said , " What teeth ?" and had another mighty pull on my pipe .
    He fucking lunged at me grunting like a madman so I , in self defence mind you, cut off his head and one of his arms and started kicking sand over his body ,trying to hide what i had done , when I heard someone walking up behind me . I turned around , covered in blood and chunks of my dickhead brothers robes .
    It was one of the elders asking what Randall was doing , and I knew he didn't believe me when I said that he was just resting his eyes for a minute . Thinking quickly , I pointed to my left and said ," Aaaagh! What's that !! " , and when he turned to look I buried my hatchet in his face and dropped him like a stone .
    The PCP had me really peeling out with awful paranoid thoughts of the punishment I was certain to receive so I did what anyone would have done . I pulled my hatchet out of the old ones face , put my pipe and my precious bag of teeth into a pouch and called over the nearest of my comrades .
    He walked over , obviously noticing my blood splattered robes and cautiously said " What ? " .
    I told him , " Hey , Your shoes are untied " , and when he looked down , even though he wasn't even wearing shoes , I fucking smited the holy hell out of him with my lucky hatchet. It pretty much went downhill after when one of the others who had seen what I did, yelled out really loudly and the rest of the raiding party attacked me.
    Luckily , I had the unholy might of the PCP surging through me and fucking tripped out in a beserker rage at all who came at me .
    When I came to my senses ,I saw that I had brutally murdered everyone there .
    13 fellow Tuskens I killed that day with my hatchet . It was a day I'll never forget.
    So I called myself hatchet13 to remind myself of the most fun I've ever had .
    How you choose your username then skipper?
     
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2018
  4. RayCaptain

    RayCaptain Generalkommentermarshall of TFF

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    It was a Star Wars RP character name I just came up with when I was like 13.

    Is there less of a presence of force sensitivity in Tusken society?
     
  5. hatchet13

    hatchet13 The Nasty Tusken

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    There have been a few Tuskens that have been , as you call it 'Force Sensitive' over the years.
    Unfortunately, we call it being a witch though and these people are found out and then beaten to death with scrap metal and then ground up and used as a linament for our Banthas, as custom dictates .
    My cousin Brolga was busted for witchery last year and I'm still rubbing her on Fluffys knees after a hard day of carrying me around ambushing suckers and taking their stuff .
     
  6. Kelmourne

    Kelmourne The Savage Hippy

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    What's the most expensive stuff you've ever taken from a sucker?
     
  7. hatchet13

    hatchet13 The Nasty Tusken

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    What , other than their lives you mean ?
    Well , let me think . I've taken lots of stuff in my relatively short but ultra violent life but there is a couple that come to mind .
    Once I saw a a very successful and apparently well known pod racer out in the middle of the infernal racing circuit they use and as luck would have it - he'd broken down and was squatting down next to his racer trying to repair it .
    I jumped off Fluffy and told him to wait or else he'd get a good , hard rap on the snout and then crawled up the rocks so I was above him and waited until he fixed his pod racer before dropping a fucking big boulder on his head and scoring an instant kill. I took that suckers brand new , fast as shit racer and tied it to Fluffy and we dragged it to Miss Eisley where I sold it for a fuck-ton of PCP .
    Another time I 'found' an extremely rare Huttese porno magazine In this dead guys backpack . Trust me this shit was fucking attrocious ,but apparently they are worth a fortune to the right buyer . I don't know anything about that , all I know is it got me a keg full of Angel Dust and I couldn't have been happier .
     
  8. hatchet13

    hatchet13 The Nasty Tusken

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    ....... I AM OUTRAGED AND MAY WELL FIND A WAY TO KICKSTART THE APOCALYPSE CAUSE THE WORLD IS OFFICIALLY FUCKED!..
    .... I will explain the source of my rage so bear with me while I calm down a bit .


    Phew . Right . So there I was, bored out of my brain and tooling around reading different shit , when I thought I'll have a look at these stupid smileys down there .
    So, the original smileys were pretty standard fare and then I moved on to the fantasy ones which I wish were a bit bigger but who cares.
    Then , I began imported ones . I scroll through them and I'm nearly at the end when see it .
    Fucking standing there motionless and staring with its beady little eyes just like it's daring me to whip it's arse ...






    :jawa:..... I couldn't believe it .

    First I was like. :eek: Couldn't believe what I was seeing..

    Then like o_O . You know like "How the fuck did this happen"..

    But suddenly my face turned more like :D as I thought I was just higher than usual and would have to give my old mate the thumbs up on this new PCP .

    But when I looked again a bit later and it hadn't disappeared like the rest of the crazy shit I see, :mad: was pretty close to my expression on my face I reckon .

    And now I have become :spiningdemon: as I realised the awful truth..........
    ...A scummy , shit-sucking Jawa has infested this site.
    As if it's not bad enough having to deal with these little fuckheads every day where I live , they have now begun hanging around on the forum site I visit !?!
    Believe me when I say this is just the beginning and once one shows up, in 24 hours time , there could be a river of short, stinky little mutts everywhere you look,getting in the way and trying to sell their bullshit to anyone willing to pay .
    Mark my words ,soon they'll be fucking everywhere . On every page , popping up by the hundreds everywhere you look .

    I wouldn't be surprised that in a year's time , everyone will have left this site , and the piece of shit Jawas have taken over and turned this into a site to sell fucking protocol droids online.
    Then all of you will say , "Yep , hatchet was right
     
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2018
  9. Kelmourne

    Kelmourne The Savage Hippy

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    :jawa::jawa::jawa:
    Houdini!
     
  10. hatchet13

    hatchet13 The Nasty Tusken

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    My god !!! And so it begins .....
     
  11. Kelmourne

    Kelmourne The Savage Hippy

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    They can only be stopped by jazz-hands-Dragons

    :dragonball wishdragon:
     
  12. RayCaptain

    RayCaptain Generalkommentermarshall of TFF

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  13. hatchet13

    hatchet13 The Nasty Tusken

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  14. Kelmourne

    Kelmourne The Savage Hippy

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  15. hatchet13

    hatchet13 The Nasty Tusken

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    :sword: da sord ovv terrybull gramma +3
     
  16. Kelmourne

    Kelmourne The Savage Hippy

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    :axe:{ô_ô}:shield:
     
  17. Kelmourne

    Kelmourne The Savage Hippy

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  18. hatchet13

    hatchet13 The Nasty Tusken

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    Yeah , that song Blight isn't bad
     
  19. hatchet13

    hatchet13 The Nasty Tusken

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    This thread is also for any questions whatsoever you may have about anything . But I'm an expert in the following topics. :
    1 : Tusken Raiders
    2:. Raiding in general
    3 : Jawacide {murdering jawas)
    4 : Banthas
    5 : PCP
    6 : Heat
    7 : Robes and robe maintenance
    8 : Sand

    So ask away , no question is too hard, too stupid , too personal or too random .
     
  20. RayCaptain

    RayCaptain Generalkommentermarshall of TFF

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    Average lifespan of a Tusken?