The Story of Rivlen :Timetravelers i have finally posted it muhaahahha!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Sarah, Dec 28, 2003.

  1. Sarah

    Sarah New Member

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    First of all i hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and a happy new year.
    Ok some people have conveinced me to post my story here for critisim and comments.
    now as you may notice sarah is one of the manin chracters,um well i confess sarah isnt my real name,i got the name from the character,my real name is brooke,anyhow here is the book i kept tlaking about please comment on it.....
    (it isnt finished) and it needs alot of grammar fixings but im not look for you need to edit the grammar i a looking for other comments besides grammar lol thank you enjoy the story..............oh yeah it isnt a fanfic but im gonna post it here anyways :p lol




    now presenting.....


    THE STORY OF RIVLEN: TIMETRAVLERS :D



    What is Rivlen?



    Rivlen is an imaginary island just southeast of South America. It is a tropical island,cutt in half by a giant river.It is home to many beautiful animals such as parrots,horses,elephants,whales,dolphins,eagles and many more.
    The Island of Rivlen is pollution free ,most of their energy is either solar or hydro powered. The people use solar powered cars for most of their transportation,as well as horses,bikes,and skates.Because there is hardly any pollution(if any) the air is very fresh. If a Rivlen were to come to your home they would have respritary problems because of the polltution.
    Rivlen is divided in two sections, Upper Rivlen and Lower Rivlen. Upper Rivlen is made up of rainforest, rivers and lakes.It is the home of many large businesses. Upper Rivlen is kinda of like a big polltuion free city. It is home to the Rivlen museum. Unlike most museums, it contains a giant rainforest and aquarium. The aquarium is very deep. At the bottom thewre is a fan that creates a giant whirlpool. Inside the aquarium are giant fish and other sea creatures.Lower Rivlen has forest of bamboo surrounded by swamps.It is not very populated,in fact it's kind of like the country. The homes are spread far apart,stores are foudn in small towns.Most of it i s unexplored jungle or bamboo forest.The government of Rivlen is basically a monarchy,but not quite. There is the Emperor/Empress who lives in Upper Rivlen and the Queen/King of Lower Rivlen.The Emperor/Empress controls the overall country. The king/Queen controls all of Lower Rivlen. Rivlen is also sepreated into tiny states which are governed by a man ,called a Drone or a woman called a Dutch. The drone or dutch is often ound wearing black clothing. The Rivlens have an english accent,and are very clean and polite people. Every Rivlen has either brown or black hair and their eyes are either blue or green. Rivlens love nature music and art. Drama is very popular as well as sports, such as soccer,tennis,golf,swimming,volleyball,chess and fishing. Their food is mainly
    sea food and fruit. Women in Rivlen usually wear long dresses . While the men dress in uniform only on special occasion. Their main religon is Christianity. Rivlen is surrounded by three other islands as well,Grevlen,Metian,and Arshica. Grevlen is a desert island it has no sand but, cracked dirt and rocks. All Grevlens are redheads. The people are very agressive and occasionally rude.Like Rivlen there is no polltution,as with all the islands. surruonding Rivlen.Their main sports are wrestling and Football. Grevlen food is very spicey. Hott peppers are grown there. The metians are more like Americans. It is the only island with four seasons among thefour. Most metians are brunettes with brown or green eyes . Arishica is a small polar region where hardly anyone lives. It is very poor and gets most of its supplies from the other islands.Arsichains are either blond or brunette their eye color is blue. The people love winter sports such as snowbarding,,hockey,and ice skating.
    Smevlens use to inhabit metian,but were driven off and moved into Upper Rivlen. Smevlens are peaceful people who do
    farming for a living. All smevlens are blond with blue or green eyes. They enjoy sports such as basketball,soccer,and golf.



    CHAPTER ONE
    OUR MAIN CHARACTERS




    Note:The characters names are all very commonn ones,i apologize if your name is also one of the characters. The characters are all fictoinal,and have common names because they are common people.
    SAMUEL DOE
    --------------------------
    Oct 8 2003
    I was sitting at my desk when the phone rang. I answered not knowing it would be the most dreadful phone call of my life. It was an officer. He said there had been a car wreck. My wife was dead.





    Oct 11.03
    THE FUNERAL
    My heart ached as I saw her. She lay dead. Her face cold and pale. her eyes shut for all eternity. Why? Why God? Why me?
    The machine! The only way I could bring her out of her mournful death. If time could be reversed. It is possible. I would see her eyes awake, her skin glowing with life once again.



    Oct 18.03
    Here I am. In all my foolishness. How could I have such doubt? How? My adventures throughout time only proved how unknowing and foolish I am. I saw the car. I saw the killer. I saw the truth. If it weren't for my beloved to die others would burn. A drunken man came hurtling towards a family. The family which came to know Christ just today, in the present. And my wife my beloved blocked them. She died, but lives again in eternity.
    A perfect image of Christ. If it be God's will why do i doubt? why do i mourn? Is it not wrong for one to mourn over such anguish? such as a loved one's death? One you've loved more than life itself? is it? I have Not the jurisdiction to say.
    The milieu around me has become a hostile environment. Mankind is
    filled with enmity. I have become haggard. Her death brought me such sorrow. I seem to be locked up. Tormented, in a dungeon of loss. But i cry not only for her lose but for joy in the Lord. Aye she died a hero. A hero and a mirror image of Christ. The machine is broken. I cant go back anymore. Now i have hidden it in the museum, away from the world. f the secret were to get out trouble would brew. but no it is no longer useful......
    ======================================================
    This is the journal of Samuel Doe. A young historian, in his late 20's.
    He had been married 2 years when his wife died. her death left him such pain. A hole in his heart: decaying ever so quickly when he remembered her. His appearance seemed to altogether change. Not his intellectual appearance, tall, brown hair, green eyes, glasses, but his smile. It was never seen again. He fell deeper and deeper into the pit of sorrow hidden from the light of joy. He vowed never to love again. He couldn't even think of replacing her. And be a sit might he would live alone. Alone in this dark cold world. Alone without a lover.
    Sam Doe built a time machine, which broke and was placed in a hidden room in the Rivlen museum. Before he had used it to study history, and his Tried to save his wife. He had a very strange personality. Samuel was a very deep thinker, he always looked into things before making a choice.
    He was very smart but also shy. He wasn't very good with kids, because he never had any. (This changes hen he meets Sarah ad Blake)
    Mostly keeping to himself, working long nights at the museum. he wasn't what you would call social. He enjoyed reading, and painting. He kept a set of his artwork in the basement. Never intending to be found out.
    He was very bright and talented but often kept to himself. Before his wife died he was a very social man. He enjoyed sharing his discoveries, and teaches classes. However he now only wrote them down, never to be published just stacked in a pile. Sam's house was empty and quiet. He rarely ever had guest. Church was the only social activity he ever did.
    His life seemed sad and hopeless.
    -----------------------------------------------------------



    *******************************
    Sarah Ann Bids
    The hallway was crammed full of kids. Jocks ,nerds ,preps," living Barbies(girls who had the perfect bodies ,perfect hair, perfect clothes and the perfect everything that all girls dream of). Then there was Sarah.
    Sarah wasn't like most fourteen year old girls, she was weird. She hated PE. She didn't have any brothers or sisters, She didn't have any friends. Except for her male calico cat named Cimoto (si-mo-toe ) Whom Sarah claimed could talk. Sarah came home after school everyday and talked to her cat about how horrible school was. She wasn't very smart or athletic. In fact she wasn't athletic at all.
    Sarah was ADD as well, (if you don't know what ADD is look it up! )
    Neither was she very attractive. She had frizzy black hair, zits, pale blue eyes, and was slightly overweight. Her appearance and clumsiness made her the school geek. Her style of clothes was just whack. She was very unorganized. Her books always fell from her locker. But Sarah was a very kind ,Christian girl. She never judged by the way you looked, she was very polite, and respected her elders.
    The basic "good-girl" prototype, mixed with a little geek. Although "Geek" may or may not be the right word, since geeks are the weirdos with glasses and pocket protectors who end up being millionaires upon inventing something great. What Sarah would have been called hasn’t been invented yet since she was the only,"good-girl geek minus the good grades,friendless,non-athletic ,talentless ,weirdo."
    However you must understand, Sarah didnt go to a normal school.
    What i mean to say is, the cheerleaders weren't the pretty and popular, the jocks were smart and the left-outs had made their own clique and ecome stuck-up. None knows why. They weren't that pretty, maybe athletic but not popular. So why were they egomaniacs?
    Everyone was. The world revolved around them, with no consideration of others at all. They were very spoiled ergo, very rude. Holding doors was only done for the "Living athletic Barbies". Kindness to any left outs was unthinkable. And of course as it is everywhere doing the right thing was not in style. Nobody was really popular. There were so many cliques no one end up center of attention. Unless you were one of those beauty queens the boys drool over. Sarah Bids didn’t belong to any of these cliques, so she was left-out. Now we can say she was a "good-girl geek minus the good grades,friendsless,unathletic,talentless,leftout, wierdo." These kinds of teens are very hard to come by. And very rare indeed.



    One rainy day after school ,Sarah lay on her bed,next to the cat. she stroked his silky long fur,as he began to purr. Her eyes swelled up with water and the tears fell. tears of shame they were,and wasted as well. For no good reason had she shed those tears,like rain on an already watered field. Sure she was left-out and deeply hurt inside,but that was no real reason to cry.She was blessed. It was everyday that a number of people lay in the hospital bed ,wasteing away,dieing of illness. the same to be said of young children,living in horror day by day because of abuse ,drugs,alchohol,and divorce.Numbers were to poor to offrd doctors or food. Sarah was not one of these whose lives would be better not living. So her tears were a waste and out of self pity. She then wiped away the worthless tears of pity and stood up. It was then she saw it,a small book,with a raggy torn cover.
    But when she opened it the pages were new.
    On the first page it read:
    "DON'T JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER."
    She turned the page and this is what it said:

    Don't' judge a book by it's cover. You've heard this before,
    and know what it means. Don’t judge a person by their clothes.
    This means the same thing, right? But do we actually listen to it?
    If you said no, you're right. Most of us judge by
    what people wear. Take your friends for example;
    What attracted them to you? Was it their clothes?
    Their popularity? Maybe, maybe not.
    Maybe it was their kindness, a very rare
    Reason but still possible. Think about this;
    Would you rather be friends with someone
    who dresses neatly, has a nice haircut
    and is good in sports, or the school geek
    whose clothes never match? None of us really want
    to hang out with a geek. (If you do it is probably
    Because you feel sorry for them.) But why?
    We may all have different reasons. The most common
    reason could be peer pressure. We are afraid of what others think of us.
    But does it really matter? Some might go, "Oh, who cares what they think.†However; it does matter. We, as Christians, should set an example of Christ.
    Instead of dressing up for the world, or for ourselves, we should do it for God.
    It's OK to be weird. Yep, that's right. It's OK.If people don't like you for who you are it doesn't matters long as you're doing what is right. The Bible says "Do not be conformed to this world." You don't have to have the latest fashion, or wear what's in style. In stead of checking your hair, check your heart.
    It's not easy to be different. If you want to be tough, don't give in to peer pressure.
    Standing up for what's right is the toughest thing to do.
    But if Christ died for us, Can't we at least stand up for him? We are to strive to be like Christ, and Christ judges by the heart.



    -------------------------------------------------
    Blake
    Blake would have been like most ten year olds, but his environment proved otherwise. His parent abused him and his siblings. Every night ,around midnight or so his dad would come home drunk. Rage up the stairs. Pull him out. And mercilessly beat him. He would do this to both Blake and his 12 yr old sister and 4 yr old brother. His life at home was treacherous. Blake was very good at hiding his feelings. Although at times he could be very harsh to other kids or bully them. This was only because of the pain he had suffered at home. Most of time he was a sweet kid. Although he never was able to go to church, he tried to sneak out once or twice.
    Blake loved baseball. But never could play it. His mother forced him to do chores, such as tiolet bowl cleaning, painting the house, and watching his little brother. If the chore wasnt done perfect she would whip him,with a long whip which she kept in the basement. His body was covered in bruises and scares. Whenever anyone asked him about it he made excuses such as, falling off his bike, because his was afraid to tell the truth. For fear of what they would do to him. Blake wasn’t able to go to school,his parents kept him home to slave all day. His only clothes were made of rags,his life would basically be better on the street. That is why he chose to runaway.



    It was midnight. Cathy was awakened by Blake, who was packing a bag.
    "What are you doing?!" "I’m leaving." Blake replied. "It'll never work"
    "What?" "You know they'll catch you. Then beat you till your bone spill out." "not this time." "you cant do it Blake, this is our home. We have nowhere else to go." "Home!? This isnt our home! They're not our parents Cathy!" "And just what am i supposed to tell thme when they find you are missing?" "Tell em i ran away." he said "I can do that! They'll kill me! And besides youre just oing to leave us here?"
    "You seem to like it here so i guess so if you llike with demons."
    "you cant do it! The doors are locked and have bells so if you give the siltest nudge they'll ring. Plus all the windows have bars."
    "Not the bathroom window.†he said. "Blake it's too small! "
    "well since you are so persistent to stay, I guess i will leave you."
    he said, and with that he walked off.†Wait! I'll get Timothy.†Cathy said. walking over to where young timothy lay on the floor. She gently shook him. He awoke with a jump. His sad blue eyes met hers as she took his small hand and said,†We’re leaving." Not quiet understanding he followed her to the bathroom window.
    The moon was full and bright. Cathy seemed mesmerized by it. She stood there gazing at it, with certain unexpectation. It was freedom. Most nights they were too afraid ,but not tonight. They had made up their minds. No longer would the be imprisoned and beat. But somehow they would livela normal life. Blake carefully lifted the window. Aslight breeze drifted in. "Shhhhhhh! Someone's coming!" whispered Cathy
    The children hunched down and listened. There was a soft creeking noise. "It's just the wind"replied Blake,climbing on the sink to the window. The noise continued, this time it was more like footsteps. It got louder and louder. "Hurry Blake! Go! Go!" Cathy screamed blake quickly jumped down the window, followed by Cathy and Timothy. "they coming ! Run!†she cried. The three children ran faster than they had ever. A total adrenaline rush! Fear was driving them .Paceing faster and faster,too frightened to get tired. It was one of those moments where nothing else but escape mattered. Their hearts thunped in their chest. On and on they ran, through the jungle. Never looking back.
    Till at one moment they stopped. Panting and coughing ,feet aching, legs burning. Behind them was the sound of gunshots and curseing."She's coming" Blake coughed Their legs were wobbling†I cant walk. “whined Cathy "Then crawl" he said,out of breath. They all got on their hands and knees and began to crawl through twigs ,rocks and thorns that scratched and pierced them. But they kept going. It was nothing compared to the paint he had suffered at the place not safe enought to call home.They wouldn’t give up,no not now,for freedom was calling. CRACK! "What was that?! “Cathy screamed. "Shhh!" Then a second time, CRACK! Gunshots! Along with more curseing. "quick! Up the tree !"shouted Blake who climbed up on the nearest branch. He hepled Timothy up. Cathy out her foot on the branch and began to climb. CRACK! She slipped, cutting her leg, and fell with a thump on the ground. "CATHY!" There was no answer "Cathy!" "My leg." she mumbled, feeling the blood on her hands. The began to sting. She started shakeing,for she had never liked the sight or feel of blood. "CATHY!" Still no answer. Three gunshots fired. "Cathy come on!" "I cant, my leg." "It broke?" "No it stings, I think I cutt it." "It's just a sting! come on! They're coming!" "I cant, it hurts. .."
    "GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE BRATTS!" "It's her! CATHY COMON!!"
    Cathy struggled to get up. Her body began to shake again, and the stinging grew worse. She pushed her body up against a branch. Blake jumped down to the lower branch and pulled Cathy up. Four more shots were fired an the lady began to stomp towards them.. "NO!" Cathy screamed "Over here." said a voice ,"Jump down!" Without question, they obeyed ,not knowing who or what was telling them to do it, they did it anyways. And everything went black.



    CHAPTER TWO

    THE BEGINNING OF IT ALL





    Cathy awoke in a warm bed, inside a room with wooden walls, ceiling and floor. She stroke her fingers through her brown hair and rubbed her forest green eyes, Looking around she found her brothers asleep in the other bed. The sun shone through onto Timothy’s sandy blond hair making it seem like gold. Everything was silent, except for the birds. This wasn’t their home, They were free! They did it! But did they really? How would they know? Where were they? Cathy sat puzzled by these questions as Blake slowly began to wake. He rolled over on his side ,opened his bright green eyes, and rubbed his brown hair. “W-What happened?†he asked “I don’t know.†she said ,then remembering her leg pulled down the covers. It was covered in white bandage, which was very new to her since her wounds never were covered. Instead they were left open to remind her of her humiliation at the uncomely place they rarely called home. “What’s that?†He asked pointing to the bandage. “I don’t know..†she replied, looking out the window as it started to rain. Thunder rumbled throughout the sky, and woke young Timothy up. He sat up, with complete confusion in his eyes, but said nothing, for Timothy never talked. “What now?†Cathy asked,†We cant just sit here!†“Why not? It’s safe.†Blake replied. “Well I’m not! I have to find out for sure where we are.†she said getting up form the bed and walking to the wooden door. It opened up into a hallway, with a wooden floor and no mirrors or pictures in sight. There were a few other doors on her right and left, but Cathy kept to the path, which led to the den. In it was a large old Persian rug, with a rocking chair, brick fireplace and a black bookshelf . Next to the den was the kitchen, it had an old fashioned stove and a small brown table with three matching chairs. It’s floor had tiles of reddish-brown and the air was filled with the smell of cookies in the oven. A clash of thunder shook the entire house and caused the lights to flicker. Cathy was startled by this but even more so when she heard,†There you are dear!†At this she spun around to see what appeared to be a sweet old woman carrying a tray full of freshly baked cookies. Cathy’s eyes were big with untrust and she began to back up into the corner. “Oh don’t mind me dear, here have a cookie, aw now don’t worry, I don’t bite.†“ N-No thank youâ€

    “No?! Well how about you?†she said turning torawrds Blake and Tim, who were standing by the hallway. Without thinking both the boys grabbed more than their share of cookies and gobbled them up like the starving children they were. Cathy gave them a disgusted look,as if trusting this stranger was wrong. They however were too busy eating the chocolate chip cookies to take any notice. “Who are you? What is this place? How did we get here?†Cathy asked very sharply, for she ,unlike her brothers, didn’t trust anyone. She thought all the world to be as bad as the people who nearly starved them to death and whipped and beat them into slaving all day. They didn’t have to do just chores but all the work that is done at a home, because their “parents†were too lazy to do it themselves. Blake and Timothy on the other hand though the world was kinder and more friendly, which to an extent was true. But they though everyone was kind and careing ,which as we all know, is far from the truth.

    Despite Cathy’s rude behavior the lady simply answered kindly.†I am Mary Rose Amber, but you may call me Mrs. May. I brought you here to get away from that treacherous woman. I do understands that you humans can be a little cruel to your young ones.â€

    “Isn’t that a little understated?†said a tall blond,blue eyed boy who had just walked in. “Oh shuttup Clyde!†said girl who walked in behind him. She also had blond hair but was a tad bit shorter than the boy. "Why hello there." she said to Timothy,who just gazed at her. "He can't talk." said Blake. "Good,we get enough talk from mortals anyway." "Be nice Clyde." said Mrs.May "Mankind has made many great advancements." the girl said. "Sure Issabella
    but,they've also forgotten hpw they became so great. There once was a time when men and elves fought side by side but now we have to hide in the mountians." "Dont blame them for it! They're only kids!" she replied. "Im not!" "You are too!"
    "Now dont you two get started!" said Mrs.May,but ignoring her they went on. Thundering began to roar throughtout the sky.
    "Did I say it was their fault?! DID I?!"he yelled.
    "You are always blameing Humans for everything!" Issabella said.
    "Maybe it's cause it is!" "Oh grow up!"she said "Im not the one who needs to grow up!" "Oh now dont you get started with me Clyde,you know you cant win!" "Yeah cause your a witch!"
    "Do I look like a witch to you?" Suddenly a bright light lite up the room and a pillar of smoke filled the den.The next thing Issabella knew she was dressed as a witch. "CLYDE!!!"she screetched.
    Clyde burst into joyous laughter. The children stood flabergasted,but Mrs.May,however was enraged. "CLYDE! ISSABELLA! That's enough!What kind of rolemodels are you two being for the children?"The wind outside,as if by magic,began to soften."What does it matter?!" asked Clyde,"They're humans! They wont take our example! If they did mankind would be in a whole lot better state thhen they are now." "Silence!"cried Mrs.May with an angry voice of rage,"If you say one more wretched thing concerning humans in front of these children,I shall never welcome you here again! Is that clear!" "Yes ma'am." he said quietly ,but his voice showed he really didnt care if he was welcomed or not. He didnt feel welcomed anyways. "There are many great things about humans." said Issabella,who was still dressed in witche's clothes."Yes my dear,that is very true."replied Mrs.May in a very calm manner."why do you say that?"asked Blake. "Say what?"questioned Issabella. "Humans,you keep saying humans." "Yeah."said Cathy "Youre humans too right?"
    "Im afriad not my dear." "Then what are you?"asked Blake
    At that moment Issabella returned with a silver tray of tea cups and a teapot;she was dressed in blue jeans and a yellow shirt with pink heart."Tea?"she said setting the tray down next to the rocking chair where Mrs.May sat. "Why thank you Issabella."Mrs.May replied. She poured each of the children a cup of hott tea. Then,sitting back in the chair,sipped some tea and said,"We are elven." "What's that?"asked Balke. "Elves"she replied. "What's elves?"asked Cathy. "Wha?"coughed Mrs.May nearly choking on the tea. "You've never heard of Elves?"asked Issabella ,her face filled with shock and disbelief. "Why what on earth do they teach you children?"Mrs.May asked. "Nothing.Except to work."
    answered Blake. "Can you read?"said Issabella "No." he replied. "Did you go to school?" she asked. "Bud and Sandra wouldn't let us."Blake said. Timothy leaned over to pick up his cup of tea,revealing an arm covered with bruises and cuts.
    "What happened to him? Why is he bruised? What did they do..."
    "Enough Issabella!"Mrs.May interrupted."They need not o be reminded!" "Well whatever they did to you won't happen here."said Issabella. "Well first order of buisness,please to pardon but may i ask your names?"questioned Mrs.May
    "Im Cathy,thats Blake and this is Timothy." "Well then it is a pleasure meeting you.Come now, want to show you something."she said getting up and walking to the wall. "Push it" she said"Go on." Cathy slowly pushed on the wall. It opened up into a dark room. Cathy stood amazedwith timothy,while everyone went in. "Comeon now we must't waste time!"Mrs.May said. Cathy and timothy quickly scampered into the dark room. In the middle was a glowing blue orb. Mrs.May touched it,and it opened. She picked out small blue crystals from it and handed it to each of the children. "Diamonds?"asked blake "No.these are not diamonds but magical jewels that let you see things no ordinary mortal can see..You can see your enemies at night,or when they are invisiblee to the naked eye.But they must be placed in these."Mrs.May said holding up a bunch of sunglasses. "Now put the jewel in the small space provided for it." Blake took a pair of glasses and placed the jewel in. almost instantly it began to glow,and the others did the same. "Whoa!"exclamed Balke"But,what do we need them for?"
    "When we go out.There are enemies all about,and you must stay close."



    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
    i will post more later please post your comments. :banana: (you gotta love the bannanna)hi
     
  2. strawfairy

    strawfairy Piratey Person

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    it's really cool. i didn't get time to read the second chapter but the first is good. are you a christian yourself? :hbday:
     
  3. Hawkbat

    Hawkbat Master of Doom

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    That looks great!!!. I was in the process of starting one myself. however I like the history and large battles so we'll see how I mix that and smaller characters together. can't wait to read more, though some of the letters are a bit messed up but that may be my computer.

    Lord_Hawkbat
     
  4. strawfairy

    strawfairy Piratey Person

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    yay! I've now read the 2nd chapter and it rox! :monkeydan
     
  5. Sarah

    Sarah New Member

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    yes i am a Christian and i wanted the book to have a Christian worldview as well.
     
  6. Hawkbat

    Hawkbat Master of Doom

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    Yeah I'm A christian also. your book sounds great. the Christian worldview will play a good role in it I'm sure. The one I was working on is still in the "figure everything out" faze how God works in this world, Magic, Races, heheh should have stuck to the good 'ol normal earth. please post more as you get it done!

    Lord_Hawkbat
     
  7. strawfairy

    strawfairy Piratey Person

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    I'm a christian! wow! we should make a club...well maybe...i just felt like saying sumthing random like that
    :monkeydan
     
  8. Sarah

    Sarah New Member

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    here is some more, im thining about changeing some of it ,please tell me what you think......
    "When we go out.There are enemies all about,and you must stay close."
    "Where are we going?"asked Cathy "You will soon see." She replied walking out of the room. They followed her out to the den,where she then strolled up to the wooden door and turned it's brazen knob. Slowly it creeked open,and a dim light poured in. The wind carried with it the scent of a fresh spring rain. Mrs.May walked out into the tropical scenery. "Where is she going?"whispered Cathy "I dont know ,but we better follow."Issabella said.
    She walked outside to Mrs.May ,with the children following.the air was moist and warm,and the place they stood was lit by a beam of sparkling sunlight. Droplets of rain dripped from the leaves of the trees,and bushes. Birds filled the canopy with joyous sing. There was a sense of magic in the air,and the kids seemed to feel it tingleing at their fingertips. Mrs.May led them through a thick forest. It began to grow dark as they traveled under more canopy . Until at last they came to a hault at a runinng creeek. It's water was crystal clear, and filled with tiny fish that darted here and there among the rocks. “This forest.” Mrs. May said sitting at the edge of the creek ,”Use to be filled with many mystical creatures like myself ,but now all that is left are the normal creatures of the jungle which you are familiar with.” “What happened to them?” Cathy asked
    “Some died in the great battles centuries ago. Others,have moved to the surrounding isles:we are the only ones left here.This tropical forest is ours now,but we must bewareof the enemies who still inhabit this land. They are like no other foe we have ever had.Like demons they attack the heart,and the Scriptures are like swords to heir throats. Tempting men like the serpent of the garden. Tis souls they seek; souls that are lost and don’t know it. Attacking semi-mortal men;for man is not only flesh but spirit as well,and the spirit is immortal.” There was a long silence after that. Everyone sat down and enjoyed the beauty that surrounded them. Cathy and Blake pondered over and over thought after thought if this was true. If it was real;had they really become free? It wasn’t til later that night during a small campfire they realized it was true. Their lives had been saved and not by chance,no there was a greater meaning to this. It had been planned:by a greater force. Days went by and soon they became accustomed to Mrs.May and Isabella ,who taught them how to read write count add and subtract. They also learned about history and mystical creatures. Each night they would sit down eating carmel covered apples sprinkled with peanuts and listen to Mrs.May tell stories about dragon,dwarves,gnomes,centaurs,and every other magical creature you can think of. Clyde came over at least once a month. Cathy had secretly grown attached to him,and how could she resist? He was extremely attractive,as most elves are. Soon autumn came,but Rivlen,being tropical, stayed forever a wondrous green. Mrs.May decided to take them shopping around town. The elves had secret ways of disguising themselves to look like any ordinary human,so going out wasn’t a problem. It was a bright sunny day,around early December. Mrs.May was wearing her casual white pants with a green shirt; Isabella was dressed in a short gray skirt and a whit sleeveless shirt. Blake and Cathy were wearing both jeans and a blue shirt:Mrs.May thought it would be cute to dress them alike,but they thought otherwise. And Timothy wore jean overalls with a yellow shirt. Issabella and blake were licking chocolate ice cream cones while cathy and timothy were savouring the sweet taste of cotton candy as it melted in their mouths.”What’s that?”asked cathy pointing to a silver,globe-shaped building. “The Rivlen museum of science and history.”said Isabella reading the sign right in front of the building. “Hey look it’s a bunch of middle schoolers having a field trip!”said Cathy,”Hey isn’t that were Clyde said he was going today?” “Why i do believe so..”answered Mrs.May “Well what are we waiting for common!”Cathy said eargerly “NO!”groaned Blake
    “Oh get over it Blake! We’re going to see Clyde ok?” “No we’re not! He doesn’t even like you !”“Sure that’s what you think,but you’re just jealous!” “What!?” “That’s right! And you know it! Go on admit it! He’s smarter,stronger,nicer,and better looking than you!” “Nicer? Nicer! That’s not even a word!”“It is too!” “Children!” shouted Mrs.May ,”We’re going for the educational purpose only! Now common!”
    Mrs.May lead them across the street to the automatic glass doors were,to their side was the middle schoolers,one of which was Sarah Bids. She had on baggy cacky pants and a striped blue and white shirt.She walked slowly with her face to the ground;and when she looked up you could see dark circles under her eyes,and blood-red zits. This caught Issabella’s attention, not because of Sarah’s appearance but of the regretful sad feeling she was sensing form her. Sarah walked inside the building,and Issabella secretly followed behind. “Issabella,Im going to take Timothy to the rest room will you watch these two?”askedMrs.May “Of course.” she said “Whoa!”exclaimed Blake looking at the ceiling which was decorated in wavy neon lights. The floor was tiled in black marble and the walls had pictures of science and historical scences. To the right was the tickets booth for movies and special exhibits,and to the left and front was the entrance to the rest of the museum. “Be back here by 4:30.” One of the teachers of the school said. Sarah walked on straight and turned at the corner. “Comon.”said Isabella walking towards the way Sarah went. “No! We’re supposed to wait here.”said blake pulling against Issabella. “Comon!” she said sternly dragging Blake. “You cant do that your just as bad as our parents!” he said “You’re right”she said,”but could your parents do this?” Suddenly Balke found himself crawling torwards Issabell with no control of his body.
    “Stop it! You..”but then he realized he couldn’t open his mouth either. Cathy burst into giggles.”Hey teach me how to do that!” “I can’t” “Why not? I’m not too young!” “No it’s just that well you cant do it cause you’re a mortal.” “Why not? Cant you make me not a mortal?” “My powers are limited; I’m afraid I can’t do that.” “That’s not fair!” “Powers?”said Sarah to herself. She had been ease dropping on their whole conversation,and saw Issabella overpower Blake. “Hey! You!”said Isabella
    “Huh?” Sarah took off in the opposite direction. Issabell snapped and Blake had control of himself again. She then ran after Sarah,with Blake and Cathy following. “What’s going on?”he yelled as he ran “I don’t know!” answered Cathy who was just as puzzled as he was. Isa made a dash into the hall , only to run into someone,knocking them on the ground. “Oh,I am so sorry sir,here are you all…oh it’s just you Clyde” said Isa,which was what she is called for short. “Just me?” “yeah.”
    “Just me, oh ok so I guess my life is of little importance in your world Isa?” “What life?” she said, Blake found this very amusing and decided to join in. “The life he never had”
    “Hey you stay out of this shorty” “tall guy” replied Blake. “Some things are best left unsaid,that didn’t make sense anyway.” Said Isa . “Sure it did,” Blake began “You know how many people are made fun for being short,well it’s time to make fun of people for being tall!” “Right,as I said best unsaid.”
    “What are you looking at?!” Clyde said to Sarah,who had been watching. She said nothing but turned to leave ,ignoring him. “Hey!Hey!” “Why don’t you just upshot clyde? You’re just a big,fat jerk!” Isa said.
    “Not as fat as your mouth!” he said “Oh! It’s on now!” “This used to be funny,”said Cathy to Blake as Clyde and Isa went on argueing,”But now,It’s just plain annoying!” Sarah stood back watching this very odd scene, of ,what looked like, high schoolers playfully arguing over nothing while two younger kids sat bored. Sarah walked off,later on that day she went to the luch room to eat. There she stopped to get a choclate bar from a snack machine, when she heared two museum workers talking. “Hey where’s doe?” said one worker“Ah,family issues,he was over at the hospital last night. His mom aint doing too well.” “Aw ,man” “Yeah I don’t think she’s going to make it.” “Hasn’t even been two years since his wife passed away.”“That’s a killer man ,how does he do it?” “I dunno ,but Sam’s a tough guy you know?A real tough guy” “yeah, and pretty darn smart too.” said the second worker taking a sip of cola. Sarah slowly picked up the candy bar and walked to where she had set her purse down on a table. Slowly loking at the choclate bar with regret,a guy losing his wife and mom,it was too unsettling. She put the candy bar in her purse. “I’ll eat when I get home.” Little did she know that she wouldn’t even have the chance to eat it. Suddenly she found Clyde and Isa sitting right at the next table. She quickened herself and got up to get food.“Hey Isa there’s that girl again!” said Cathy pointing at Sarah. “And why where you chasing her?” “Chasing her? Oh and that’s when you bumped into me,the guy without a life.”“Let it go Clyde! And I wasn’t chasing her she just saw something she wasn’t supposed to see” “And just how would chasing her solve that?”Clyde asked “I uh,don’t know.” “You see that’s your problem Isa you don’t think!And maybe if you did Rose would have never been turned inot an old lady!” “Now how is that my fault!?” Sarah had now sat back down to eat. “Ever since you told that old witch how elves never grow old,and you just had to say it when they were both fighting over the prince she turned Rose into an elder and …”“Now she also thinks she is older than us I already know. Besides, that was centuries ago!” “But it is still in effect!” he said “yah well that witch got punished for it in 1532!”“1532?!”Sarah said to herself. “Maybe it would be better if I were mortal,I could just die and get away form you!”Isa said ,storming off into the hallway. “Mortal?!” whispered Sarah.“Wow she’s mad.” Said Blake “So is it really possible for an elf to become mortal?” asked Cathy “No! Well,at least I hope not.” replied Clyde.“Where do you think she went?”asked Blake “Who knows,no way of guessing what a girl thinks!” Clyde and Blake started laughing,but Cathy didn’t find the joke funny at all. “At least girls are not jerks!” she said. “Jerks?!” they both said. “Don’t be so surprised.. Hey what’s this?” she said picking up a piece of paper that was on the table where Sarah had been sitting,she was now gone. Cathy opened up the letter.“At least guys arnt snoopy!”said Blake. “Hey I think these are some kind of school notes or something.” Said Cathy “Here let me see.”said Clyde grabbing the note from Cathy. “That girl must have left it here by mistake.” “Well just leave it here maybe she will come back for it, the snow room is going to close soon if we don’t hurry!” “Calm down Blake,it doesn’t close til seven, and it’s two thirdy!” said Cathy“Yeah but you’re only allowed three hours in it!” “That’s a lot of time Blake!” “No it isn’t!” he said. “Alright look, why don’t we just take the note and if we see the girl, we will give it to her.” Said Clyde. Both the children were forced to agree, and went on in search of the girl. As they slowly made their way down the dark hallway ,Isa stopped them. “Oh! So you were just going to walk off and leave me huh?!” “Isa! No we were just taking this note that girl left back to..” “And you stole a note ! That doesn’t belong to you!” “She left it by mistake and we were going to....”Clyde began. “What?! If she left it there just leave it or her to find when she comes back looking for it once she has found out it is missing!” “QUIET!” Cathy screamed, and everyone froze. “Cant you two get along for at least two minutes? That’s all you ever do is argue! I just wish you two would at least pretend that you don’t hate each other.” “Oh Cathy we don’t hate each other..” said Isa. “Well that’s good but can you two just stop bickering ,please!? It’s driving me CRAZY!” “Really? You’d never be able tell!” said Blake Isa slapped him upside the head at this. “Ow! Hey!” “All right Cathy,” said Isa, “We’ll stop. See what you did Clyde,making a twelve year old correct us,man you just….” “ISA!” shrieked Cathy. “Sorry,sorry,I was just kidding.” “Hey theres’s that girl again looking for ..” “Gimme that” Isa interrupted Balke snatching the note from Clyde and walking over to Sarah. “Excuse me, girl are you looking for this?” “uh, y-yes.”she said quit bewildered. “I-I am so sorry. You see my friend over there,”she said pointing to Clyde,”Well he’s just a little,you know slow in the head,and he just pick this up,I tried to tell him but ,I hope it’s not torn or anything. I’l tape it for you if it is, um I am sorry I didn’t really catch your name..” “Sarah” she mumbled. “Sally?” “Sarah” “Oh Sarah right, right well here you go, and if there’s anything I can do to pay for this terrible mistake ,just tell me. My name’s Isa it’s a pleasure meeting you. I hope you understand it’s just he was born a little , well slow. Well Sarah I guess I will catch you later ok? Well goodbye Sarah.” She said walking off. Sarah stood there a few minutes ,then slowly turned and said to herself. “And I thought I was weird.Hmmm, oh well.” Meanwhile Isa walked back to where Clyde,Blake,and Cathy were standing . “Slow?”said Clyde. “Well Clyde now I couldn’t just have lied to the girl.” “Ok so you guys want o go to the aquarium?” asked Cathy. “No! we are going to the snow room!”“Blake we are doing that last, besides they are fixing to feed the aquarium fish.” Said Cathy.Meanwhile Sarah herself was in the elevator going to the bottom level of the aquarium,none else was in the elevator with her at the moment since none ever went to the bottom seeing how the most colorful fish were at the top. But Sarah had different plans she wanted to find out what it was like. The elevator had golden mirrors and it shook and creaked as if it were ten years older. Sarah opened her note to review what she had written about the last exhibit,when she found asingle strand of golden hair. “This must have belonged to Isa” she thought,thinking how pretty Isa was,then she looked up at her own mirage in the glass. The elevator door opened ,but sarah did not leave right away. She peared into the glass at the monster looking at her. It’s cold blue eyes,it’s mess of long frizzy black hair ,it had huge red zits on an oily skin surface,eyebrows that didn’t match ,and lashes that didn’t grow strait but twisted with one another. The creature had a chubby appearance,an it told her how dumb she really was,and how worthless,how vile,so punny she couldn’t even lift her own weight or run a mile. At that moment time seemed to thaw back and the elevator door shut,and there was a deep.errie growl. Sarah freaked,and jumped at the door slamming on the “open door” button. “Let me out!”Let me o-“ The door opened,and she slowly walked into the room. It was cold and dark,quiet and eerie. In a way it resembled a movie theater, with the aquarium glass being the movie screen and it havng fewer seats. The water in the glass was pitch black in color. Sarah slowly began to tiptoe near the glass,but then she froze as two giant red eyes appeared. Large and ominous they stood,looking right at her with an evil,and harsh look. Fear jolted up through her spine, and her heart was filled with shock and dismay then its whole body, brown and golden at same, scales, a giant fish it was one that mirrored an angler fish with a glowing lantern and large Sharpe fangs. It never blinked, just stared, and this was only strange thing she would see before entering the time she did not exist. Sarah turned and ran through a small door that was camouflaged with the wall ,how she found it is well unknown,but what she saw in it was worse than the massive fish itself.There in the small room with dark navy blue walls,it aly on the gray marble tiles,surrounded in blood,a man lay there unconscious. The man Samuel Doe ,with his glasses broken and lain in front of him. He was bleeding form a gunshot in his shoulder. In the background was a door left open that led to a white stairway. Besid the man was a large machine,tall,silver,with many buttons and wires of all sorts. The color left Sarah’s face,overcome by horror and struck into command by instinct she rushed out into the room,not even glancing at the giant fish who was still there,and went strait to the elevator. “Common!Common!”she screamed banging,but it was no use. Farther upatirs Isa,clyde and the two kids were enjoying the upper area of the aquarium which looked just like the bottom except the water was blue and full of life.Isa stopped,much to the surprise of Blake,who thought she was playing around. “ what are you doing? ! he laughed. Isa did nothing. “I don’t think she is kidding Blake” said Cathy. “Clyde what is she doing?”“ISA?!HELLO?!” he screamed. Isa blinked and seemed to come back. “Somthings not right.” She said. “What do you mea somthng’s not right? Everytihngs fine!” said Balke. “No it isn’t. Comon”she said,rushing torwards the elevator. They followed her into the small elevator as she pressed the bottom number. “Why did you press that?!I don’t want to go there, nothing happens down there!”said Blake“You’re wrong!”she replied. The door shut and the elevator rumbled down. “Isa what’s going on?”asked Cathy. “Im not sure,but something is not right. There is distress,and pain coming from here.”“What is she talking about ?”Blake asked “Must be an elven thing.” answered Cathy. “It is” said Clyde in return.
    The door opened and in rushed Sarah eyes bursting with tears and soul filled with fright. At first they had trouble understanding what she was saying, through the tears and crying,and panic. Til at last she got out “there’s a dead man in there!”. But when asked where, she turned and found the door gone.
    “No! it was here!”She cried pushing on each square inch of the wall,and crying even more when she found nothing but solid wall. “But it was here…”she cried slideing down on the wall. The wall opened ,and she shrieked “there he is! Threre’s a dead man in there I told you !”
     
  9. strawfairy

    strawfairy Piratey Person

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  10. Hawkbat

    Hawkbat Master of Doom

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    good good, can't wait to read more.
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