The PoD's First Contribution- 'Marionette'

Discussion in 'Fan Poetry' started by PenguinofDeath, Sep 1, 2004.

  1. PenguinofDeath

    PenguinofDeath The name says it all.

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    It's a little sucky, but here I go *clears throat*

    Marionette

    I am just a broken doll,
    Hidden from your eye,
    There I lie in darkness,
    No one to see me cry,
    I cast my eyes upwards,
    Hold them there for years,
    No one gives a damn, you see,
    For a cracked old doll’s dull tears,
    I long to break my shackles,
    I long to walk out free,
    To feel the things I was meant to feel,
    To show the inside of me,
    To hold, caress another,
    To have my chipped heart leap,
    Yet I am bound to this spot,
    Trapped in an endless sleep,
    I used to dance in windows,
    I used to bring a smile,
    Now only the dust greets me,
    As I rot in this cursed pile,
    If one day I faded,
    Would anyone see me leave?
    Would none but the wind miss me?
    Would none but the shadows grieve?
    Perhaps one day I’ll find myself,
    Perhaps one day I’ll know,
    Till then I’ll lie here in this spot,
    And pray for tomorrow,
    For I am just a broken doll,
    Hidden from your eye,
    Through the years of darkness,
    You never hear me cry.

    :/ Don't be too harsh, y'all! I'm only 2, ^.^
     
  2. Meteorain

    Meteorain Magical & Mystical

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    *claps* Bravo Bravo...nicely done, I thgouht it was good, not an expert anaylist, so no criticisms.
     
  3. DarkElv22-JJ

    DarkElv22-JJ Your opponent

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    really good, good job
     
  4. PenguinofDeath

    PenguinofDeath The name says it all.

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    Thankies! I prefer the none-expert analysis', hehe. I accept criticism, but I don't enjoy accepting it, lol.
     
  5. Lady_of_Shalott

    Lady_of_Shalott Weaving the Magic Web

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    I thought it was really good. It was thoughtful. I like it.
     
  6. LadyoftheGoldenWood

    LadyoftheGoldenWood Well-Known Member

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    I like it it is really cool!! how long did it take you to right it?
     
  7. PenguinofDeath

    PenguinofDeath The name says it all.

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    I work on inspiration- so when I do write a good poem, it only takes me 10 minutes, tops. Sometimes I can spend hours on one, then trash it cause I can't 'feel' it, if you get me?
     
  8. LadyoftheGoldenWood

    LadyoftheGoldenWood Well-Known Member

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    ya i do get you well bring on some more stuff man!!!!
     
  9. Lady_of_Shalott

    Lady_of_Shalott Weaving the Magic Web

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    I definitely understand what you mean, PoD. Sometimes I feel like I could write a heavenly poem in a second, and other times I could sit at my desk for hours and never come up with a thing. Strange... how the mind works...
     
  10. PenguinofDeath

    PenguinofDeath The name says it all.

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    *nods* Sorry for not replying to your comments in a while, I appreciate that y'all like it, I'll send in another one soon :) *nods* The mind is a very, very strange thing...I don't understand my mind, and I'm practically inside it!