The Light That Guides Me

Discussion in 'Fan Poetry' started by Sturmulus, Jul 28, 2013.

  1. Sturmulus

    Sturmulus New Member

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    The sun crashes over the horizon

    As the day halts to closing time

    The moon ascends and sends subliminal

    Message through the sky

    I find myself wondering why?

    Why the sky cant send us messages

    In smoke signals from the clouds

    Of what we seek through the

    Black shrouds of dreams not chased

    I feel encased

    In a wall not built by physical hands

    But by a mind that is stuck in the blue

    I feel a fool

    Swimming through time weightless

    In a sea of black

    I find the right moment to break into a run

    Through the meadows of eternal sunshine

    I stretch my soul out for all to see

    Of the light that guides me.​
     
  2. Druid of Lûhn

    Druid of Lûhn The Little Lamb.

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    I like this one; I really love just watching the sky, following the play of clouds, sun and moon. You've put that beautifully!

    I only have thing to recommend: I felt that there was an lack of punctuation, which made me have to re-read certain sections.
     
  3. Sturmulus

    Sturmulus New Member

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    Thanks for the advice... I re-read it and i agree... food for thought for next time :)