The Sex Talk A drunk goes into a bar and sits down. "Hey bartender," he says, "can we talk about politics?" The bartender says: "No way! If there's one thing we don't talk about in here, it's politics." A little while later the drunk says: "Hey bartender, can we talk about religion?" Again the bartender says: "No way! If there's one thing we don't talk about in here, it's religion." A few moments go by and the drunk says: "Hey bartender, can we talk about sex?" "Sure," the bartender says. "That's fine." "Good," the drunk says. "F*ck you! ------------------------------ Stop/Slow Down One day a guy was driving down the street. He comes up to a stop sign, but he didn't stop, he just slowed down and kept on going. A cop that was behind the guy turned on his siren and lights and pulled the guy over. The cop got out of his car and went to the guy's car and said, "Show me your id and registration please". The guy got them out and handed them to the cop. The cop said, "Do you know why you are being pulled over today"? "No, why am i being pulled over"? "There was a stop sign back there and you did not stop". "Well I did slow down". You have to stop at a stop sign". "stop, slow down, whats the difference"? "Do you want me to show you the difference between stop and slow down"? "Yea, please do". "please step out of your car, and stand over here". The guy open the car door and got out of the car. At this time the cop pulls out his night club and beats the living shit out of the guy and said,"Do you want me to stop, or slow down"? ------------ Have you seen it? The priest in a small village loved the rooster and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church.. One Sunday morning, before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock was missing. He knew about cock fights in the village, so he questioned his parishioners in church. During mass, he asked the congregation, "Has anybody got a cock?" All the men stood up. "No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?" All the women stood up. "No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?" Half the women stood up. "No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen MY cock?" Sixteen altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up.