Tales of TFF, New Prophecies, New Enemies, New friends

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Cascador, Jul 4, 2007.

  1. I. R. Shogun

    I. R. Shogun Midnight Demon

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    lol, the only real problem I could see is that at the original point you set for it Kenshin wasn't part of the team yet. Sen really wasn't either but being an on again off again spammer she could have been for a while before leaving spam for a while.
     
  2. Cascador

    Cascador Who's Anakin?

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    well I saw they were both in the TFF profiles and this is called new friends remember?;-)
     
  3. I. R. Shogun

    I. R. Shogun Midnight Demon

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    lol, yeah that's true. And we can just state that as a slight error in canon, which happens no matter who's writing.
     
  4. Cascador

    Cascador Who's Anakin?

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    Well all I need to do is adjust the first third part that they appeared from nowhere or something...its easy to make it canon. then I can even make a substory around it
     
  5. I. R. Shogun

    I. R. Shogun Midnight Demon

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    yeah, you don't need to but it wouldn't hurt. Other than that everything looks fine to me.
     
  6. Cascador

    Cascador Who's Anakin?

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    I changed a bit so that Senekha and Kenshin appeared from nowhere, a bit weird I know, that's why I also didn't mention their name yet, cause I can't introduce them yet. That will probably happen in the next part. In the first version it was kenshin who attacked the creature first but I replaced him with meteorain as kenshin appears later.
     
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2007
  7. Firiath

    Firiath Halfling barbarian

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    That creature is already pissing me off. XD

    rofl I.R. shouting at you, that sounds pretty... amusing, if you ask me. :p
     
  8. Dragn9

    Dragn9 Sorcerer Supreme

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    That was awesome...that creature kicks ass - it reminds me of Cell :D
    Oh and Shogun seems to be flustered and loses his temper easily which is opposite than his usual calm and cool self...lol
     
  9. Cascador

    Cascador Who's Anakin?

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    That's actually the point, you'll see more of that in the nex part, I was thinking of Piccolo and Cell when writing this

    Well he lost his temper against me, Anakin lol, so it's understandable:D
     
  10. I. R. Shogun

    I. R. Shogun Midnight Demon

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    yeah, Cell was the coolest villain on DBZ. And me, yell? Meh, happens
     
  11. Cascador

    Cascador Who's Anakin?

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    TFF tales, New prophecies, new enemies, new friends part 4

    The two strangers ran behind the TFF Defence Force who ran as fast as they could to reach Skyanide to consult about the new threat. They got to his office and just as they were about to enter a meteor crashed just in front of the doorway, “Yikes!!!” Warlock yelled in fear and excitement. “What are these things…They look more like…eggs?!”. The team observed the ‘meteor’ that crashed. The outside was very thick and strong, but they were certainly not meteors. The material like the creature looked different than just rock. Though it was not fragile, it started to crack open. The team stepped back wondering what was happening. A fist kicked its way throughout the shell of the egg.

    The girl spoke, “Step back…It’s coming…these are the ‘children’ of the Aculyte!”. The Aculyte? What was she talking about…and second how did she know these things? But that had to wait. While the small creature who had a similar look to the thing that arrived first crawled out the egg, the team ran up the stairs to Skyanide’s office.

    “Ah, the TFF Defence Force…I’ve been expecting you….” Skyanide spoke in a very sinister manner. He gave the whole team the creeps. “Skyanide…we need our powers back…I think you know why…” I.R. Shogun explained to the cyborg. “Yes…I.R. Shogun…I know why! I always knew you wanted them back…It was just a matter of time until you all had the guts to come here and ask…To be honest…I never expected you all would have the courage to…”.

    All felt insulted but they kept themselves humble, hoping Shogun could reason with him.
    “But clearly you can see why…If Spamopolis falls…It won’t be long until TFF falls too! You must see that!” Skyanide roared. The mechanics of his metal body made the most uncomfortable sound you could think of which gave a cold feeling running down everyone’s spine. “Don’t lecture me! I know all about it…and look at you now…The ‘TFF Defence Force…don’t make laugh! Look at you…all of you…you’re NOTHING without your powers, you’re nobody….” He laughed sadistic while he observed every member of the team.

    “You call yourself a leader, Shogun…look at you…how can you lead this team when you are soooo WEAK!!!” He walked further to one of the other members. “And you Anakin…I know you’re lust for the throne of TFF! But I promise you, you will not succeed in your foul plan.
    Anakin objected, “Now wait a second here! That’s just nonsense, Skyanide!” Unfortunately for Anakin he didn’t sound convincing. “There are too members in the team who have a lust for power…Meteorain…Warlock Lord…Kakashi!!! Yes all of you! Now without your powers, you feel like weaklings. If you are uncapable of defending TFF….then maybe a new Force is required….one that is worthy of the name ‘The TFF Defence Force’ unlike you…You scum of Spamopolis!”

    That was the final straw for whole the team. Skyanide was just unreasonable, but his law could be the end of the TFF Defence Force. They walked downstairs defeated by his words, unaware of the egg that came out. As a reflex both Firiath and Lady Cyllieth threw their bunny grenades and….*POOF*!!! Almost no sound, no explosion. Just some weird jiggling…but when the smoke cleared the egg was completely vaporized. Only the little creature survived the attack. Smoke rose from its back as it turned around watching his opponents, namely Fifi and LC. They didn’t lose a second and they threw another grenade. They both ‘poof’d against its chest leaving no damage. The creature jumped immediately into Firath with holding his claws up as his first attack. It was too close for her to grab another grenade…if she unclipped one now she would vaporize herself unknowing if it had any effect on the small creature.

    One of the strangers quickly intervened by grabbing his katana, slashing the creature in two. It lay defenceless on the ground trying to get up, but it had no legs to stand up with in the first place and the most noticeable thing was that unlike the Aculyte, his children couldn’t regenerate themselves. Firath drew her hair back. She blushed and looked at the stranger who saved her from the creature’s attack, “Thanks…” and she smiled. The stranger smiled back and said, “Hey, no worries…”.

    I.R. Shogun Interrupted the lovebirds. “Excuse me…But I think an introduction would be in order, young man…”.

    “Of course, Shogun…my name is Kenshin. I’m pretty new in Spamopolis, but as soon as I heard of the TFF defence group I wanted to be a part of it!”. Anakin, the sarcastic one commented on his long red ponytail, “Ha, a ponytail…Isn’t that a bit old fashioned…my advice…get away with the thing!” It sounded very ironic as Anakin once also had a ponytail though much smaller than Kenshin’s.

    The unknown girl spoke, “I don’t think I have to introduce myself…you know me as Senekha!” Senekha had a strange reputation in Spamopolis. One day you would see her, the other day she would just disappear just like that. Where she exactly went to was unknown.

    “Look there’s a good reason why I left several times. A long time ago I met Padmé on a hill. She was just looking at the stars and the only thing she said was, ‘it’s coming’. She told me all about the Aculyte…so I left to do my research…I couldn’t reveal anything to you cause I doubted her words. I didn’t want to alarm anybody…But I did learn more about the prophecy of the….”

    “Oh!!!! Here we go again, prophecies! Blablablabla!!!” Anakin interrupted her rudely.
    “Shut up, Anakin, why you annoying…” Warlock exploded at Anakin’s comment.
    “Be silent…let the girl speak…” I.R. Shogun interrupted the two warriors.

    “Well I tell you what I know…but I don’t know if it will benefit us, besides I think we have more worries!”, after her words, Senekha looked up in the sky and the whole team saw that more Eggs were falling down the sky. “I have a bad feeling about this…”, Kakashi said in a low tone.
     
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2007
  12. Firiath

    Firiath Halfling barbarian

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    1. o_O Hadn't expected Skyanide to be that evil.
    2. Lovebirds, roflmao
    3. Sen! =O
     
  13. I. R. Shogun

    I. R. Shogun Midnight Demon

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    Damn, Sky's a jerk
     
  14. Cascador

    Cascador Who's Anakin?

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    Few things I like to add, first of all many things that happen here reflect some things to what happened on TFF. Like Kakashi being hostile against me lol. Calling me annoying. hehe, I think everybody knows what I'm talking about. I also wanted that Anakin, the character here was a bit of an anti-hero instead of a hero just like in the star wars movies. And I wanted some irony. First of all he's bashing on prophecies, that he doesn't believe in it, while in the SW movies he comes from a prophecy himself and he says that ponytales are old fashioned while in the movie he had one himself. So I wanted that bit of humour in it...thought it would be nice. lol
     
  15. I. R. Shogun

    I. R. Shogun Midnight Demon

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    lol well you're doing a good job so far
     
  16. Meteorain

    Meteorain Magical & Mystical

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    The stories are ok. I think you have to work on the character of the characters. I don't think from the way they act and speak that it's very much like how they do in the original Tales.

    Also with Sky....really didn't expect that....I thought he'd be the reserved hard lined guy but understanding....but that's just me and how I made him out to be in the story I wrote (well onyl a small part of him lol).

    But yea...you need to refine the character's personalities. Other than that the storyline is ok.
     
    Last edited: Jul 15, 2007
  17. Cascador

    Cascador Who's Anakin?

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    Thing is the personalities in the story, they are a reflection of how I know people on TFF, highly exagerated and with changes of course. Like with Skyanide who calls himself the big meanie here on TFF? Well that's why I made him a bit like doom from the FF, a Tyrant leader but a leader who keeps the show going...meaning he's a good leader with a bad personality. But yeah it's from my point of view, so if that makes the stories less canon? Can't do much about it...
     
  18. Meteorain

    Meteorain Magical & Mystical

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    Ok your grammar confused me a bit...so from what I gather....

    Yes it does make it less canon. I mean they are not totally wrong. The general personality is there, it's just quite blunt if the word can be used. I mean some of the characters in the way they are rude and stuff are slightly more subtle...

    Anyway, if you feel it's ok, just continue as you were.

    P.S. I believe the beig meanie is just a play on the stereotpyical character we impose on him.
     
  19. Cascador

    Cascador Who's Anakin?

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    Only against me, because I'm such an annoying character lol

    I know I didn't base it on the 'real' Matt. I know he just put the title 'Big Meanie' as a joke. Like I said I highly exagerate with their characters so you can still identify them but that they are different as you know them.
     
  20. Meteorain

    Meteorain Magical & Mystical

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    Yea that's the thing I was aiming at. The high exaggeration of the characters. I was led to believe from I.R.'s writings (and I believe my own), that we were going with fairly accurate character personalites, that kept in check with canon.

    Alas, others feel it is ok, then ok, I'll go along with that.