SW jokes

Discussion in 'Star Wars' started by GrimWarlock, Mar 1, 2015.

  1. GrimWarlock

    GrimWarlock Daemon Prince of Tzeentch

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2013
    Messages:
    478
    Likes Received:
    51
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Location:
    Golden Fleet of Q'sal
    Ratings:
    +100 / 1 / -0
    Here we tell SW jokes
     
  2. GrimWarlock

    GrimWarlock Daemon Prince of Tzeentch

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2013
    Messages:
    478
    Likes Received:
    51
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Location:
    Golden Fleet of Q'sal
    Ratings:
    +100 / 1 / -0
    Why the Chicken Crossed the Road...In the Words of the Star Wars Characters

    VADER: Because it could not resist the power of the Dark Side.
    YODA: Crossing the road makes not a chicken great.
    LUKE: I want to follow the ways of the chicken and cross the road like my father.
    LEIA: I don't know... but I have a bad feeling about this.
    HAN: Hurry up, colonel sanders, or you're gonna be a permanent resident!
    THREEPIO: I am fluent in over six million ways of crossing the road.
    R2D2: beep beep be bop.
    CHEWIE: Gwrrroooooaaaarrrrrrlllllll!
    BEN: Cross the road, chicken. Let go, chicken. Chicken - trust me.
    BOBA FETT: What if the chicken doesn't survive? He's worth a lot to me!
    WEDGE: My scope shows the other side but it looks really far, are you sure you can cross it?
    JERJERROD: The chicken is crossing the road? We shall double our efforts.
    BIB: Die chicken wanga?
    BIGGS: At that speed, will you be able to cross in time?
    TARKIN: The regional governors now have direct control over their chickens. Fear will keep those chickens in line... fear of getting hit by a car!
    UNCLE OWEN: I told you to forget it. You're only concern is to cross that road.
    AUNT BERU: He can't stay here forever. Most of his friends have already crossed. It means so much to him.
    ADMIRAL ACKBAR: All chickens - prepare to cross the road on my mark
    LANDO: Why you slimy, no good, double-crossing chicken!! You got a lot of guts crossing that road, after what you pulled!
    EMPEROR: Young fool. Only now, after getting hit by a car do you understand.
    JABBA: Bo shuda chicken!


    - Genetics, inheritance, midi-chlorians - bullcrap! My grandfather was jedi, my dad was jedi, my mom was jedi, my grandmother was jedi: I'm not a jedi.
    - Really?
    - Yep, I'm sith.


    Obi-Wan and Anakin scouting against the droids, but had to sleep in the forest, so they put up a tent and go to sleep. At midnight, they wake up
    Obi-Wan: Hey, what do you think when you see those stars?
    Anakin: I think.... Has anyone even visited all of them? I want to see every one of them. What do you think?
    Obi-Wan: You moron, somobody stole the tent!
     
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2015
    • Funny Funny x 2
  3. GrimWarlock

    GrimWarlock Daemon Prince of Tzeentch

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2013
    Messages:
    478
    Likes Received:
    51
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Location:
    Golden Fleet of Q'sal
    Ratings:
    +100 / 1 / -0
    In the galaxy runs a rumor that the emperor was dead. Transgalactic radio argues against it(with the emperor's voice)
    "Some people think that I'm dead, and my voice apparently was just a recording...ing...ing...ing...ing...ing"


    Vader asked the Emperor:
    - Hey , do you have a hobby?
    - Yes, I collect jokes about myself
    - How many have you collected so far?
    - Oh, quite a lot, about 3-4 prison camps

    Darth Vader reports to Palpatine:
    - Your highness, from the department of imperial propaganda has come a report that among the empire's citizens there are many who dislike the national hymn. The music they say, is cool, but the words are worthless. Maybe we have to remove them?
    - Remove them - said Palpatine - just try not to kill all at once.
     
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2015
  4. GrimWarlock

    GrimWarlock Daemon Prince of Tzeentch

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2013
    Messages:
    478
    Likes Received:
    51
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Location:
    Golden Fleet of Q'sal
    Ratings:
    +100 / 1 / -0
    An imperial soldier got drunk and started going around shouting
    - THAT OLD ASSHOLE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHING!
    Darth Vader arrested him and brought him to the Emperor explaining what happened.
    - What old asshole did you mean soldier? - asked Palpatine
    - Yoda obviously - said the soldier
    - Alright - Palpatine smiled, and then looked at Darth Vader - and you lord Vader, who did you think it was?
     
  5. GrimWarlock

    GrimWarlock Daemon Prince of Tzeentch

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2013
    Messages:
    478
    Likes Received:
    51
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Location:
    Golden Fleet of Q'sal
    Ratings:
    +100 / 1 / -0
    A Jedi and two Sith get together, have a drink and then go their separate ways
    - Master - think the Sith
    - Pacifists - thinks hthe Jedi
     
  6. GrimWarlock

    GrimWarlock Daemon Prince of Tzeentch

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2013
    Messages:
    478
    Likes Received:
    51
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Location:
    Golden Fleet of Q'sal
    Ratings:
    +100 / 1 / -0
    - For today, the Sith empire will execute 50 prisoner jedi and 2 rancors.
    - But... Why the rancors.
    - *sigh* I just knew it, nobody cares about the jedi.
     
  7. hatchet13

    hatchet13 The Nasty Tusken

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2009
    Messages:
    767
    Likes Received:
    16
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Location:
    In the middle of the Dune Sea - Tatooine or Austra
    Ratings:
    +36 / 1 / -0
    What is Jabba the Hutt's middle name?
    "The"

    Why shouldn't you ask Yoda for money?
    Because he's always a little short.
     
  8. FairyPrincessUnicorn

    FairyPrincessUnicorn New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2015
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    Yo Momma's So Fat that even Jabba the Hutt said damn

    Yo Momma's So Fat Obi Wan said "That's No Moon, That's Yo Momma!"

    (Thank you to Robot Chicken for these "Yo Momma" jokes)
     
  9. Lady Galeth

    Lady Galeth Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2006
    Messages:
    250
    Likes Received:
    8
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Location:
    Australia
    Ratings:
    +11 / 0 / -0
    Yo momma so stupid she thinks a lite sabre has fewer calories!