Stupid people rated G

Discussion in 'Joke Board' started by Turin, Dec 19, 2003.

  1. Turin

    Turin Valar Morghulis

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    Stupid labels
    In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity,( and overzealous lawyers) here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
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    On a Sears hair dryer:Do not use while sleeping.

    (Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).




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    On a bag of Fritos:You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

    (the shoplifter special)?





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    On a bar of Dial soap:"Directions: Use like regular soap."

    (and that would be how???....)





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    On some Swanson frozen dinners:"Serving suggestion: Defrost."

    (but, it's "just" a suggestion).





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    On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):"Do not turn upside down."

    (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!





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    On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:"Product will be hot after heating."

    (...and you thought????...)





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    On packaging for a Rowenta iron:"Do not iron clothes on body."

    (but wouldn't this save me more time)?





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    On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

    (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)





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    On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

    (and...I'm taking this because???....)





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    On most brands of Christmas lights:"For indoor or outdoor use only."

    (as opposed to...what)?
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    On a Japanese food processor:"Not to be used for the other use."

    (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
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    On Sainsbury's peanuts:"Warning: contains nuts."

    (talk about a news flash)





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    On an American Airlines packet of nuts:"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

    (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)





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    On a child's superman costume:"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

    (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)






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    On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."

    (Oh my gosh ...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
     
  2. olivia_the_lamb

    olivia_the_lamb Moderator Staff Member

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    good ones, the person who made those warnings must have been related to Captain Obvious :)
     
  3. Winterine

    Winterine Ranger-Bard

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    *LMAO* Mebbe it's because it's still early morning, but I couldn't stop laughing as I read them. I've read most of them before, but still, *lol* !
     
  4. Eowyn

    Eowyn Shieldmaiden

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    Those are so funny.
    gosh I had thought of another one but forgot it like 5 down the list.
     
  5. Nienor

    Nienor Administrator Staff Member

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    It amazes me how stupid manufacturers think we are.

    Cell Phone Manual:

    "Never place your phone in a microwave oven as this will cause the battery to explode."
    (Aww! I wanted to cook my food and my phone at the same time!!)

    "Do not impact the phone with sharp objects such as nails or animal's teeth."
    (But my cats love to use my phone!)

    "Using a damaged battery or placing a battery in your mouth may cause serious injury."
    (Yummy!!)

    "Do not charge the phone battery using the desktop charger and the travel charger simultaneously, this may cause the battery to be altered or damaged." (You mean plugging the phone into two chargers doesn't
    charge it twice as fast?!)
     
  6. Draven_of_the_Shire

    Draven_of_the_Shire Defender of the West

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    Yeah, I agree Nienor. And the sad thing is that they have to put that crap on there to save themselves from being sued by people stupid enough to do those things!

    P.S. how do I join Sky's club and the Union??? :D
     
  7. Nienor

    Nienor Administrator Staff Member

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    Just post in those threads. :)

    Y'know the worst part about those warnings. Sometimes you get tempted to do things you hadn't thought of before.
     
  8. Turin

    Turin Valar Morghulis

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    :rolleyes:
    why does this not surprise me!
     
  9. Taiba

    Taiba The last Marag

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    I'll bet no one has heard this one before...I used to work in a toy store. We carried a toy shopping cart that came disassembled in a box. On the box was a picture of a little girl pushing the cart with a stuffed bear in the "child seat" of the cart. I swear by all that is holy, that on the side of the box it said "Caution: child and doll not included" (I was wondering why there weren't any air holes...)
     
  10. Harrison

    Harrison The Best Beatle

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    Geez, how stupid do they think we are?
     
  11. olivia_the_lamb

    olivia_the_lamb Moderator Staff Member

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    well there are some reallllly stupid people out there.. *cough* my brother *cough*