Story: The Black Omen

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Carline of Crydee, May 29, 2006.

  1. Carline of Crydee

    Carline of Crydee Beyond eternity

    Joined:
    May 29, 2006
    Messages:
    403
    Likes Received:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    not here
    Ratings:
    +7 / 0 / -0
    Hi,
    I've written a story I entirely made up myself. It's about a world that doesn't exist and characters I also made up myself. It's based on Banshees.
    It's called the Black Omen, because a Banshee is dressed in black and she also is an omen. :rolleyes:
    I hope you like it. :)

    The Black Omen
    Aigneis saw Evan climbing the hill she was sitting on. In his hand he held a large basket of fruit which he – probably – had stolen from his dad. She stood up and walked towards him. There was something odd about him; his face was fixed upon the ground and he seemed to have a small limp. Aigneis stopped and looked at his ragged clothes. Even though it was nearly winter Evan was still wearing the same clothes as he wore in summer, just a lot on top of each other.
    Evan was still staring at his toes that came through a hole in his shoe and didn’t seem to be much of a talker today. Aigneis softly put her hand on his shoulder and guided him to the top of the hill. There he sat down and looked at the hills and the wide open ocean behind it. He sighed. ‘I wish I could just sail away… Just sail away from everything.’
    Aigneis looked up. She now saw that he had a black eye and she thought she already knew who did it. It was usual that children were slapped every now and then, but Evans dad took that way too seriously
    There was a long silence between both of them. Then Aigneis said:
    ‘Where would you go then?’
    Evan didn’t answer for a long time. He kept looking at the sea and seemed to be trapped in his own mind. But then, after ten minutes or so, he answered. ‘I don’t know.’
    From the very first day they had met, Aigneis knew that a boy like Evan shouldn’t stay home and have a family. If it was his decision, he would’ve become a pirate. The idea of being a pirate frightened but excited Aigneis. You could do whatever you want, but at great cost. Because if you stole, you would be punished in the afterlife. Or so her mother always told her.
    Aigneis looked at Evans face and thought she saw a tear fall down his cheek. She wasn’t sure what to do, she had never been good at comforting people when they were down. Aigneis preferred just to make a joke and the person would laugh and then everything would be ok again. But she knew that that never helped. Because if you never faced the pain, it would only grow and grow and grow until it would be to big to carry and you would throw yourself of a cliff to put a stop to it. And Aigneis knew, because all her pains were still locked up inside her heart and she didn’t know when they were going to break out.
    She put her thoughts away and grabbed two apples. She gave one to Evan and took a bite out of the other one. And there they sat. They sat until the sun was nearly under and it was getting colder.
    ‘If you went away,’ Aigneis said softly. ‘would you leave me behind?’
    She looked at him and tried to hold her face expressionless. He nodded.
    Aigneis turned her face away from him and felt hot tears streaming out of her eyes. She swallowed and swept them away. She turned her head and saw that he was still staring at her. He seemed to feel guilty about what he said.
    ‘I’m sorry, Aigneis, but your life is better than mine out here. You will find a man you’ll fall in love with and you’ll get married. But I will never find my true love on this island. I have to go.’ He tried to smile. ‘And one day I will.’
    She also smiled weakly and again they sat there. On top of the hill. Silent.

    The next few years went well for both Aigneis and Evan. ‘Till one day Aigneis got home and found both her parents sitting at the dining table. They both seemed in a rather strange mood and were both looking at Aigneis as if she was the worldsaviour. Her dad, Kalen, gestured her to sit down and Aigneis obeyed.
    At the very moment she sat down, her mother embraced her. When she let her go Aigneis saw a few teardrops running down her cheeks. But her face was split into a big smile and she looked proud at her only daughter. Aigneis turned her head to her dad and saw that he too was about to burst into tears. She shook her head. ‘ This is mad.’
    ‘Daughter,’ her dad said while he put a hand on her shoulder. ‘you’re fifteen now, which means you’re at the right age to get married.’
    Aigneis nodded. Although she wasn’t much of a lady yet (she preferred hanging around in the stables with Evan, and to return home with her face covered in dirt and horse droppings) she had recently turned fifteen and it was a custom here for ladies to marry at a young age and for men to marry when they were older and had some experience of life, so they could impress their wives and mistresses. (For it was also usual for a man to have several mistresses)
    Suddenly Aigneis realised why her mum and dad were so excited and a very cold feeling suddenly covered her heart.
    ‘We’ve probably found you the best man in the world.’ Her dad said. ‘Prince Kevon of Castle Haldia.’
    It took a few seconds before Aigneis’ brains could take in what her dad had just said. Suddenly she felt herself jumping on the table and hugging her parents. She jumped down the table and took a deep breath.
    ‘How-? When-? … Why…?’
    Her dad grinned. ‘As the head of this village I am privileged to come to certain parties at the royal court. I heard King Lir was searching for a bride for his son Prince Kevon and I told him I have the perfect lady for him.’
    Aigneis looked at her mother, but suddenly she felt very empty. As if something bad was going to happen. She saw her mother looking at her and smiled. ‘I’m going to sleep. It’s great mum, dad. Goodnight.’ She quickly ran up the stairs and put on her nightgown. She got in bed and blew out the candle next to her bed. She heard her parents talk downstairs and tried to close her eyes and fall asleep, but she couldn’t. She was very excited by the fact that she was getting married to a Prince, though she had never seen him before, he wasn’t an old horny goat, like some men. But that wasn’t what kept her from sleeping; there was still a very empty feeling inside her, as if something was going to happen, but no matter how far she tried to reach, she just couldn’t grab it.
    Suddenly she heard a loud noise outside. She lit her candle and carefully moved to the window. It was full moon and she could clearly see three persons creep across the road that parted their garden from the forest. She couldn’t see who they were, but she didn’t have a good feeling about it. She decided it would be better if they didn’t see her, so she blew out her candle. A moment later she regretted her action. She turned her back to the window and stared at the moving shadows in her bedroom. Just when she tried to get back into her bed she heard an unearthly cry. She froze on the spot. Again a cry. Aigneis tried to recognise the crying, but it sounded like the honking of geese, the howling of wolves and the moaning of a deserted child.
    The crying continued and Aigneis’ feet walked towards the window, though she didn’t want them to.
    When she arrived at the window she couldn’t believe her eyes. At the end of their garden, in the tree, sat a lady. She was clothed in black and seemed to be combing her long black hair. Aigneis felt a cold breeze and she shivered. She grabbed her coat and put it on. She crept down the stairs and opened the door. She couldn’t help herself, she simply had to. She silently closed the door and ran on bare feet across the mossy grass of their garden. She slowed down when she came nearer to the tree. The lady was sitting on the highest branch and was singing her own song while she was combing her hair.
    Aigneis stared at her for a while and felt the same icy feeling as before. She felt as if there was something going to happen. Something terrible.
    Suddenly the lady turned around and came down out of the tree. She had stopped combing her hair and stood right in front of Aigneis. Aigneis was immobilised by fear or by the beauty of the lady. The lady spread her arms and let out another cry. It was so terrible that Aigneis fell on the ground. She breathed heavily and realised it was getting harder and harder to breath. She crawled to the brook and tried to drink out of it, but then she saw it was staining with blood and there was a piece of clothing in it. The lady sat down next to her and started washing the shirt. Aigneis tried to say something, but somehow she couldn’t say more than some weak whisper.
    The lady spoke. ‘Something really bad is going to happen Lady Aigneis Kavanagh. It will cause the death of one person and something will destroy you for the rest of your life. It will be announced by my cries and by the death of several beaked creatures. Beware Lady Kavanagh, pure one of Celtic blood.’

    And that's it for now. I really hope you liked it!
     
  2. BBallForLife

    BBallForLife New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2006
    Messages:
    750
    Likes Received:
    13
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    NYC
    Ratings:
    +13 / 0 / -0
    Whoa.... That is really good. I hope you keep working on it.
     
  3. Carline of Crydee

    Carline of Crydee Beyond eternity

    Joined:
    May 29, 2006
    Messages:
    403
    Likes Received:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    not here
    Ratings:
    +7 / 0 / -0
    thanks! The update is coming soon.
     
  4. Carline of Crydee

    Carline of Crydee Beyond eternity

    Joined:
    May 29, 2006
    Messages:
    403
    Likes Received:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    not here
    Ratings:
    +7 / 0 / -0
    Very soon :D, because here it is:

    The next morning Aigneis found herself lying on the edge of her bed. For a moment she didn’t have any worries. But then the memories of yesterday returned to her and she fell out of bed.
    When she came down to breakfast she asked her parents if they had heard any noises last night. But neither of them seemed to have heard it. Aigneis wondered if she could have been dreaming last night, but it had all seemed so real. She could still hear the lady’s cry echoing in her ears. She shook her head and grabbed her bag. There was not really time for her to think about what she had seen, because she had to go to school. Although Aigneis had told her parents many times that she didn’t want to be taught how to knit and weave, that she wanted to learn languages, literature and mathematics, they never seemed to listen. Even though she was their only daughter, they didn’t want her to learn more than necessary. Which meant she had learned how to write and read, and now it was time for knitting, weaving and washing. It was extremely boring. Who cares if there are holes in your clothes?
    She walked up the hill that separated their house from the rest of the village. When she arrived at the top, she stood still for a moment. She now realised that if she was going to marry Prince Kevon she would probably come and live with him in the castle, and she would probably never see the sun rise from this hilltop, like she had seen almost every day.
    She stood there a few seconds before she heard a loud bell. She ran down the hill and was just on time to see the teacher, Mrs. Doreen Hornes, close the door. Mrs. Hornes saw Aigneis run down the hill and appeared to sigh. She held the door open and let Aigneis in. ‘This is the last time I’m letting you in when you’re late, miss Kavanagh.’ Her eyes stared strictly at Aigneis, but her big grin told Aigneis something different.
    She snuck in and sat at the table next to the door, so she could return home quickly after class was over.
    Class was as boring as usual. Aigneis was staring at the board where Mrs. Hornes was writing down how to do an extremely difficult embroidery pattern, but she knew she would never manage to do it anyway. So she turned her head and looked out of the window. She saw a few men carrying crates and tried to recognise them. One of them had a typical walk which Aigneis knew very well. She felt a heavy block land in her stomach. She walked towards the window and heard Mrs. Hornes yell at her, but it seemed to come from a place far from here. Without really knowing what she did, she had already put her leg through the window and was climbing out of the classroom. If it had been on the second or first floor, she would have probably broken a leg, but instead of that she landed on the ground and ran towards the men who were already making the ship at the docks ready to sail away. She stopped at a small distance and looked at the man who was checking the crates.
    ‘You were going to leave without telling me, weren’t you?’ She said trying to swallow the lump in her throat.
    The man looked up and saw Aigneis. He laid down his writings and walked towards Aigneis. He stopped right in front of her.
    ‘I thought it would be better if you found out later.’ Said Evan. ‘Or at least it would’ve been better for me, it’s hard to say goodbye, Aigneis.’ He put his arms around Aigneis and she let all her guards down and cried. She heard Evan make soft sounds above her head and she put her arms around his waist (because he was two years older and had grown a lot the last few years and it was simply the only spot she could reach at the moment).
    They stood there for a few minutes. But it seemed to last for ages. Aigneis wished that they could just stay like this forever, that she never had to go to Castle Haldia and marry Prince Kevon, because no matter how handsome he was, he could never compete with Evan. She wished Evan would never sail away and would just stay here. But then someone called Evan and he let Aigneis go. She watched him pack his bags and board the ship, unable to move. The ship was about to sail away when Aigneis ran to the docks.
    ‘Come visit me in Castle Haldia!’ She shouted through her tears. ‘I’ll never forget you, Evan!’
    ‘I’ll never forget you either, Aigneis!’ He shouted in return. ‘And I promise I’ll visit you!’
    He waved and Aigneis waved back, the tears still running down her face. She ran back up the hill where they had sat so many times. From there the ocean was clearly visible. She waved and watched her best friend sail away, out of her life. She felt as if she had lost a piece of herself and thought of all the happy moments they had had on top of this hill. How they had rolled down in spring and had swum in the ocean on hot summer days when it was too warm to go to school. Overpowered by emotions she let herself fall down and cried on top of the hill untill the sun was nearly under and she found herself nearly frozen lying on the ground.

    The next few days Aigneis felt extremely hollow. It was too hard to think about Evan, so she tried to do as much physical exertion as possible, so she wouldn’t be haunted by the memories of Evan when she was lying in bed at night.
    One day she found herself trapped in a web of weddingplans her mother was making for her. Aigneis realised her parents were absolutely blind when it came to what their daughter wanted, for it was about the last thing she wanted to do. Her mother on the contrary was very excited about the fact that her daughter was getting married to a Prince. And Aigneis would’ve been herself, but just not now Evan had left.
    ‘You’re becoming a noble lady, Aigneis dear.’ Her mother said happily. ‘Aren’t you happy about it?’
    Aigneis tried to smile but it looked as if her jaw was broken, and her mothers smile faded.
    ‘Are you still weeping about Evan, dear?’ She said without shame.
    Aigneis looked up and felt a strong desire to slap her mother. You don’t just start talking about persons you’ve lost. Certainly not like that! But Aigneis calmed herself and remained seated in her chair, maintaining her silence.
    Her mother put her hand on Aigneis knee and kneeled down in front of her.
    ‘You’ll have to move on, Aigneis. You can’t lock him in there forever, he will return one day and you will both tell each other your own stories about your own lives. This isn’t the right way to deal with your pain, Aigneis. Please, I know what it’s like to-‘
    ‘No you don’t!’ Aigneis yelled at her. ‘You have no idea what it’s like to lose someone! You were raised in a cloister, mum! You don’t know what Evan was to me!’ She stood up and ran out the door. She ran to the edge of their garden, to the tree where she had seen the lady. When she came there, she kicked the tree very hard and got very angry when her feet hurt so bad she fell on the ground. She looked up at the tree and felt her anger sink away. The tree was dead. The once so green tree had died. Aigneis stood up and slowly started to walk away from the tree. Did the lady do this? She ran back and found her mother sitting at the table. She took a deep breath.
    ‘When’s the marriage?’
     
  5. BBallForLife

    BBallForLife New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2006
    Messages:
    750
    Likes Received:
    13
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    NYC
    Ratings:
    +13 / 0 / -0
    That's really good. I like the dead tree that you added in, I wouldn't have thought of that. So whats gonna happen between Evan and Aigneis?
     
  6. Carline of Crydee

    Carline of Crydee Beyond eternity

    Joined:
    May 29, 2006
    Messages:
    403
    Likes Received:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    not here
    Ratings:
    +7 / 0 / -0
    Here's the update. I haven't really devided them into chapters yet... but i guess you can see this as chapter two.

    Two weeks later Aigneis was sitting in a very expensive carriage in her best dress. Her mother was sitting next to her. Aigneis tried to look out of the tiny window of the carriage, but it was raining very heavily, so she could barely see the trees standing next to the road that led to the Castle. They had been travelling for two days now, and Aigneis was getting bored. They barely spoke to each other anymore and there was no-one else to talk to. So Aigneis was staring at the few things she saw, but actually she was thinking about the last few years. They had flew by so quickly it was almost like a dream, and she still hoped she was going to wake up. It had become slightly easier to think about the memories that contained Evan, and even though the tears still dropped down as she thought of him, they were silent ones that didn’t really matter.
    She thought about Evan, and how he had changed the last two years. He had grown, but also, it was a very strange thing to say but, he had become more manly. Which had really surprised her, for he had always been the tiny little boy from the back of the class. She guessed that his dad had made him this way. Never showing his emotions in public. He even stopped showing his emotions to her. She wondered how he was feeling right now.
    Suddenly the carriage stopped.
    ‘Why are we stopping?’ Her mother said immediately.
    ‘Maybe ‘cause we’re there.’ Said Aigneis lifting her shoulders.
    The next moment a man dressed in tin* opened their door.
    ‘Ladies.’ He said and bowed.
    He stretched out his arm and Lavena grabbed it. He guided her out of the carriage and another, younger looking tinned man stretched his arm out and Aigneis hesitated but grabbed his hand and let herself be led out of the carriage.
    Her breath stopped for a moment when she saw probably the biggest building she had ever seen. The tinned man led her to a great, open door where an old man with a crown stood. Next to him stood a younger looking man with a smaller crown. Aigneis was led right in front of them and bowed. The king commanded her to stand up and the Prince kneeled for her and kissed her hand. He had amazingly blue eyes and darkblond hair. He grabbed her hand and led her into the castle.
    When she entered the castle she found herself in a huge hall. Her eyes nearly popped out of their orbits when she tried to see everything that there was to see. Which was impossible, for the hall was decorated with all sorts of paintings of ancient Kings and Queens.
    They went through a door and entered a dining hall. Dinner was served and they started eating.

    Evan felt the wind blow through his hair as he strumbled to the bow of the ship. The breeze was quite cool and Evan was glad he was off duty now. He always thought life on a ship would be great, but he now realised that barely sleeping at night because of the waves, wasn’t that funny. Ronan, one of the sailors, had told him he would get used to it after a while, but Evan didn’t really see that happening yet. The first couple of days had been awful, he had been seasick and unable to walk properly. The captain had even considered throwing him aboard, but luckily a few sailors hadn’t agreed with that. After a few days Evan had started to feel better. The captain had immediately given him a lot of work to do, ‘To catch up with the others!’ He had laughed at Evan.
    But now Evan was completely finished with all his duties and was enjoying his spare time. The sea was very tranquil and there was no cloud in the sky. Evan closed his eyes and let the memories of the past few days come over him. He didn’t have much memory about the last few days, simply because nothing really special happened. He remembered nearly falling overboard because one of the older sailors had given him a punch, but that was a memory he’d rather not think about. Instead of that he digged deeper into his memories, into the time he still lived on the island of Haldia. Although it was only two weeks ago, it seemed to be ages and ages ago. Evan remembered his father, a huge man with a mustache and iron fists, he was one of the reasons why Evan had been so eager to leave. He gritted his teeth, but then other memories came. About his mother, a beautiful lady, and Aigneis. For some reason he felt his cheeks glow. He quickly decided to think of something else and turned around. It was silent on deck, which was very unusual. He heard noises coming from the back of the ship. He thought it sounded like people fighting and slowly walked towards it. He saw two men standing opposite each other. One man he recognised as Dwyn, one of the sailors, he was holding a bastard sword which was pointing at the other man’s throat. He didn’t know the other man, he was wearing clothes he had never seen before, as if he were from a different world. The strange man was walking towards the starboard side of the ship, pushed there by Dwyn. He grabbed the rail, but Dwyn forced his sword in his chest and pushed him overboard. While he fell overboard, Dwyn turned around and looked right into Evan’s eyes. Evan realised there was no use in running away and laid his hand on his sword, ready to strike when needed. But Dwyn put away his sword and walked towards Evan and looked at him for a split second, then he gestured Evan to come with him and Evan knew nothing else than to obey.

    The wedding was planned to be held two weeks after Aigneis’ arrival. She didn’t see much of her husband to be, because he had to receive a lot of quests who came from all over the Kingdom. But the moments she saw him, she thought he was a nice gentleman, but she was afraid it was only politeness and she would see the true Prince one day.
    Meanwhile Aigneis had more and more trouble having real conversations with her mum. They did talk, but it was very shallow. Or maybe it had been like this all the time, but she now started realising it. She felt very lonely.
    One day when she was walking through the Castle, wearing a long brown dress she heard a strange noise coming out of a room to her left. She lifted her dress a bit, so it wouldn’t make a sound, and snuck to the door. She put her ear to the door and listened. It sounded like someone was weeping in there. She put her hand on the doorknob and opened the door. The door creaked and Aigneis stepped inside. She looked around, but there was no-one there.
    ‘Hello?’ Said Aigneis carefully. She was seized by fear when she heard a loud bang and the door closed behind her. She grabbed the doorknob and tried to open the door, but it was as if someone had quickly locked it from the outside. She looked into the room. She now saw that the curtains were closed. She stood with her back to the door and listened frightened. She heard a noise of feet tapping on the floor on her left. She could feel her heart beat faster as the tapping became louder and louder. She felt a cold wind pass her and shivered. She felt a hand grab her left arm and she screamed and fell on the floor.
    ‘Your pocket…’ Whispered a raspy voice in her ear. Aigneis could feel the breath of someone beside her, but she could see nothing. She reached in her pocket and found a key in it. She stood up and put the key in the keyhole. It fitted and Aigneis quickly got out of the room. When she turned and looked through the keyhole, she saw the curtains were open again. But suddenly an eye appeared at the other side of the door and also looked through the keyhole. Aigneis let out another scream and ran away.
     
  7. BBallForLife

    BBallForLife New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2006
    Messages:
    750
    Likes Received:
    13
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    NYC
    Ratings:
    +13 / 0 / -0
    Still good.
     
  8. Wing Rider

    Wing Rider Psychotic Cybernetica

    Joined:
    May 18, 2006
    Messages:
    3,100
    Likes Received:
    13
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Location:
    London
    Ratings:
    +13 / 0 / -0
    Took a while for me to read the whole lot, but it's amazing, I like the way you've set out all the characters (and I tend to like any story with a castle in it). I think that lady in the beginning is probably some evil enchantress or something similar, whereas Evan...that's difficult, actually. Perhaps Aigneis is in trouble and Evan returns to save her?
    Post more of this, cos it's really good.
     
  9. King Eduardo

    King Eduardo yo mama's

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2006
    Messages:
    342
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    NYC
    Ratings:
    +1 / 0 / -0
    Wow I feel like I know everyone in the story. I hope you keep working on it! Everythings great! I love this story because my grandpa used to tell me stories about seeing banshees in trees when he lived in Ireland and while I like the black hair my grandfather said they had silver hair don't change it tho.
     
  10. Carline of Crydee

    Carline of Crydee Beyond eternity

    Joined:
    May 29, 2006
    Messages:
    403
    Likes Received:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    not here
    Ratings:
    +7 / 0 / -0
  11. Carline of Crydee

    Carline of Crydee Beyond eternity

    Joined:
    May 29, 2006
    Messages:
    403
    Likes Received:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    not here
    Ratings:
    +7 / 0 / -0
    Hey people, sorry I was on vacation and we didn't have a computer with us, so I couldn't write.
    But there will be an update soon.
     
  12. Carline of Crydee

    Carline of Crydee Beyond eternity

    Joined:
    May 29, 2006
    Messages:
    403
    Likes Received:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    not here
    Ratings:
    +7 / 0 / -0
    So, this is a short piece.

    During the next few days Aigneis tried to avoid being alone in rooms and particularly the room were she had had the weird experience. Her mother thought she had finally become interested in her marriage and Aigneis just said she was. Her mother had picked out a dress that even Aigneis considered beautiful, so it wasn’t hard to pretend.
    A couple of days before the marriage Kevon came into her room. She was sitting on her bed and was combing her hair and reading at the same time. (Because – like her mother always used to say - : that’s something only women can do.) She didn’t notice he was there at first, but after a few seconds she heard the door close and turned around frightened. When she saw him, she breathed a sigh of relief and smiled.
    He smiled back and gestured her to sit down. He walked across the room and looked out of the window. ‘I wished there was some action in this castle. It’s so boring.’
    Aigneis was completely taken aback. To her he had been a prosperous gentleman, but now he sounded like a spoiled kid.
    ‘What would that be then?’ She asked.
    He lifted his shoulders. ‘I dunno, like a war or something, so I can show everyone what a brilliant fighter I am.’
    ‘But wars are stupid!’ Aigneis said indignantly. ‘You can’t be hoping for a war! People die in wars.’
    She stood up and installed herself next to him. He looked at her. ‘You’re a woman of spirit, you know.’
    She looked at him as if he had gone mad. How could he start about something like this? He first said he wanted a war and now he was trying to seduce her?
    ‘When I first met you, I thought you were the most beautiful lady I had ever seen.’ He grinned. ‘Now I see you also are on the inside.’
    She stepped back and walked away from him. ‘Goodbye Prince of Haldia.’ She said holding the door open for him.
    He looked surprised by this sudden action and also disappointed. But then he slowly walked through the door. ‘Goodbye Miss Kavanagh.’
    She slammed the door behind him and walked to her bed. She lay down on her bed. She knew that once they were married she wouldn’t be able to send him away anymore. She’d just have to accept everything he did. She felt really uncomfortable with that thought. She grabbed the blankets and lay on her side. She realised she really missed Evan. She wondered what he would’ve done if she told him about this. He would probably beat up the King and after that be thrown into the dungeons. There he would be saved by Aigneis and together they would sail away from this island and have a lot of adventures and children. She sat straight up in bed. Children? That’s a really weird thought. She didn’t want children with Evan! He was her friend. But then she remembered marriages always worked out better if you’ve been friends before, because love slips away gradually. She felt a strange feeling in her stomach and tried to ignore it. After a while she fell into an uneasy sleep.
     
  13. Carline of Crydee

    Carline of Crydee Beyond eternity

    Joined:
    May 29, 2006
    Messages:
    403
    Likes Received:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    not here
    Ratings:
    +7 / 0 / -0
    Here's another piece.
    It's funny, the shorter version of this story was meant as an English assignment, but that was without the pieces of Evan in it and the ending is going to change :)

    ‘There’s something wrong.’ Dwyn whispered when he and Evan had arrived below. Evan was still thinking about the conversation they had held while they were walking to below. Everyone around him was sleeping, some so loudly Evan could barely hear himself think.
    ‘So, you think this guy was NOT from…’ he hesitated ‘our world?’
    Dwyn nodded. ‘Did you see the clothes he was wearing? Those are not from here.’
    Evan still looked at him with a sceptical look. He refused to believe that that man was from another world, like Dwyn claimed him to be. But he was curious what he was doing here if he wasn’t, and why he was wearing those strange clothes.
    ‘He couldn’t be from a place, somewhere on this world, we just haven’t discovered yet?’ Evan suggested.
    ‘Where?’ Dwyn asked ‘Where do they wear such strange clothes, Evan?’
    ‘Well, we couldn’t know because we haven’t discovered it yet,’ Evan said calmly while he gazed into Dwyn’s eyes. ‘and I know there are places on the maps that are still unfilled,’ he added quickly before Dwyn could contradict.
    He seemed to be thinking for a while. At least, Evan thought he was, for he was scratching his beard. Then he looked at Evan and lifted his shoulders.
    ‘Maybe you’re right,’ he said ‘there are places were no-one of our kind has been yet, and we wouldn’t know what kind of clothing they would have. But the biggest question remains; what are they doing here?’
    It was the question that also kept Evan busy for the rest of the following days. More of the strange men appeared, and the clothes only started to become stranger. Dwyn started to tell the entire crew that the so-called “Others” had landed and were on their way to destroy everything.
    Evan shook his head and continued his work when Dwyn was again telling terrifying stories about when he was kidnapped by the strangers and they were sort of “testing” him. But at the end he managed to escape because of his own brilliant mind.
    Evan hoped they would get near to a city or village soon. Then he could ask the citizens if there was any news about the strange men, and he could ask if there were any messages from Castle Haldia. He didn’t expect Aigneis to write him, but if Castle Haldia was attacked, then at least the villagers would know.

    The next day Aigneis pulled herself together and went to the strange room again. She laid her hand on the doorknob and opened the door. She grabbed a candle next to the door and lit it. She thought she saw a movement on the left and turned her head in that direction. She slowly walked towards it. She held her candle in front of her and tried to see if there was anything to be afraid of. Suddenly she heard a loud scream from below and footsteps in the hall. She moved to the door and opened it. Six men ran past her. ‘What’s going on?’ She yelled at them, but they didn’t listen and kept running towards the room where the scream had come from.
    Aigneis closed the door and followed them. They ran to the library and Aigneis followed. In there she found an old lady sitting on the floor, all the six men stood in a circle around her. There were a lot of people whispering and pointing. A few seconds later the King walked into the room and all went silent. The guards stepped away. The King bent and spoke to the lady.
    ‘What’s going on?’
    The lady started crying and spoke through her tears. ‘He was here, sire! He spoke to me!’
    ‘Who?’ The King demanded.
    ‘Daman.’
    The King turned as white as a ghost and sped out of the room. Someone put his hand on Aigneis’ shoulder and she turned around. ‘Come.’ said Kevon softly and he led her out of the library. He led her through the corridors until they arrived at his room. Aigneis stepped inside and saw his room was huge. He closed the door behind her and gestured her to sit down. She sat down on a chair and looked at him. ‘What was that?’ She asked. ‘Who’s Daman?’
    He sat down too and shook his head. ‘His real name is Fiacre. He is my brother.’
    Aigneis looked confused. ‘Your brother?’
    ‘No, actually, he WAS my brother. He died on his sixth birthday, he was hit by an arrow.’
    Aigneis laid her hand on his. ‘That’s terrible.’
    ‘We never found out who did it. I was four by then, I don’t really remember anything about that day. Dad said he wasn’t there when it happened. He said he had already died when they brought him inside.’
    Aigneis felt really uncomfortable and tried to say something useful. ‘But who – how can he be here now? And why is he called Daman?’
    ‘Daman is a demon, and we call him that because he still haunts this castle. His room is downstairs. I believe you have already been there.’ He looked up and grinned when he saw the surprised look on her face. ‘As a Prince, I ought to know everything that happens in my castle, lady.’
    Aigneis smiled. ‘But why is he still here?’
    Kevon lifted his shoulders. ‘I dunno, ‘cause no murderer was ever caught?’
    Aigneis nodded and thought how it would be if you had lost someone so young. She thought of Evan and hoped he was still alive and well. Suddenly Kevon grabbed her hand.
    ‘I’m really sorry, Aigneis, I didn’t mean to be so rude last night. I’m just really bored and I meant what I said. You’re the most beautiful woman in the world. I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, not at all.’
    Aigneis blushed but acted as if nothing happened. ‘It’s OK. Now, tell me about your brother.’

    The next day Aigneis decided to search for more information about Fiacre. From what Kevon had told her, he was a very talented boy. Especially with eagles, his dad had told him Fiacre had had a special gift with eagles. They seemed to listen to him, and he seemed to understand them. Aigneis wondered why someone would murder a boy. She thought it would probably be because he was going to be King, but why did the killer let Kevon live? Aigneis thought Kevon would probably be in danger too, so she told him to be careful, because someone might want to finish the job.
    Kevon also told her that Fiacre only appeared to him and never to someone else. So he thought of this as a sign that something might soon be happening (because he had appeared to Aigneis too). And the strangest thing about it all was that they never found Fiacre’s body. It seemed to have disappeared after he was shot.
    Aigneis decided to go to Fiacre’s eagle, Finn.
    When she arrived there, she found Finn sleeping on a branch that grew through the window. She woke him by knocking softly on the door. He opened one of his eyes and Aigneis saw he was blind. She wondered how he could still be living after so many years. He must’ve been about 16 years old.
    She grabbed one of the feathers lying next to the door and slowly moved towards the eagle. It appeared to sense that she was there, for it didn’t move. His eyes stared empty at Aigneis and he started to make soft sounds. ‘Hush! I don’t want to hurt you.’
    She petted the eagle with the feather and it seemed to like it. Finn closed his eyes and slowly spread his wings. She continued doing this for a while and when she stopped the eagle seemed very comfortable.
    ‘I was wondering if you could tell me something about Fiacre. The boy who was murdered here 13 years ago.’
    The eagle made a soft sound and flapped his wings. He started to shriek but Aigneis calmed him. She petted him with the feather again and he calmed down.
    After a while she realised she had been really stupid. How could a eagle possibly tell her something? She stood up and walked towards the door. Just when the eagle landed on her shoulder. Aigneis let out a little scream when the sharp claws clutched in her flesh. The eagle bowed his head and Aigneis understood he wanted her to go outside, so she did. He turned his head left and Aigneis went left.
    After a short walk where Aigneis let herself be led by a blind eagle, they arrived at the castle gardens. The eagle commanded her to stop at a bush on her right. When she looked into the bush she saw a weird rock lying in the middle of it. She grabbed the rock and at the same moment Finn landed on the empty spot and started to make digging movements with his claws.
    ‘Is he in there?’ Aigneis asked, and the eagle stopped and stepped aside.
    Aigneis hesitated, but then started digging with her hands. After a short while her hands were totally black with dirt. ‘Are you sure there is something here?’ She asked Finn. It could have been her imagination, but she thought the eagle nodded, so she continued digging.
    Just at that moment her fingers felt something hard and grabbed a little box. It was covered with dirt. Suddenly Finn flew away. Aigneis looked around and saw a little boy standing behind her. He was very pale and didn’t move when Finn landed on his shoulder.
    ‘That’s mine.’ He said in a very raspy voice. The same raspy voice Aigneis had heard in Fiacre’s room.
    ‘Fiacre?’ said Aigneis carefully.
    The boy didn’t answer and kept looking at the little box. Aigneis slowly moved the hand with the box towards him. But he shook his head. ‘I can’t have it, yet.’
    ‘Do you want it?’
    ‘Yes.’
    Aigneis hesitated. ‘When will you be able to have it?’
    ‘I don’t kow.’
    ‘Do you know who shot the arrow?’
    The boy looked at her and she saw tears dropping down.
    ‘Please don’t cry. I will find a way to let you have this box. I will find out who did it.’ She put the box in her pocket and was about to walk away when the boy spoke again. ‘I hated my dad.’
    She turned around, but he had disappeared, and so had Finn. She shook her head and ran back to the castle.

    I got an A for the assignment, by the way. :D
     
  14. Wing Rider

    Wing Rider Psychotic Cybernetica

    Joined:
    May 18, 2006
    Messages:
    3,100
    Likes Received:
    13
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Location:
    London
    Ratings:
    +13 / 0 / -0
    I can see why you did. :)
    This is still pretty amazing, especially the bit about the eagle.
     
  15. BBallForLife

    BBallForLife New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2006
    Messages:
    750
    Likes Received:
    13
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    NYC
    Ratings:
    +13 / 0 / -0
    WOW! Thats awesome. Keep writing!
     
  16. Borael

    Borael Prophet of Arka

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2006
    Messages:
    83
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Ratings:
    +2 / 0 / -0
    Haven't had time to read it all yet but it is really good so far!
     
  17. BBallForLife

    BBallForLife New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2006
    Messages:
    750
    Likes Received:
    13
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    NYC
    Ratings:
    +13 / 0 / -0
    Your slacking. :) Just kidding, take as much time as you want, but I just what to know, when is the next update?
     
  18. Carline of Crydee

    Carline of Crydee Beyond eternity

    Joined:
    May 29, 2006
    Messages:
    403
    Likes Received:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    not here
    Ratings:
    +7 / 0 / -0
    So eager to read it then? :)
    Don't worry, I'll post something soon, it just takes a lot longer for me to write in English and I'm working on something else too.

    Thanks, though.
     
  19. BBallForLife

    BBallForLife New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2006
    Messages:
    750
    Likes Received:
    13
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    NYC
    Ratings:
    +13 / 0 / -0
    What else are you working on.
     
  20. Carline of Crydee

    Carline of Crydee Beyond eternity

    Joined:
    May 29, 2006
    Messages:
    403
    Likes Received:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    not here
    Ratings:
    +7 / 0 / -0
    I'm also working on a Dutch story, about a couple of characters in some world.. It's a little hard to explain :) But here's a piece of my other, English story, hope you like it

    Evan walked through the streets of the small village Sulist. He was on his way to the Inn to ask for the local gossips when he noticed something strange. In the middle of the main street stood a man dressed in black. Evan had gotten used to strange men the last couple of weeks and barely glimpsed at him, but then the man suddenly dissappeared. Evan stopped dead in his tracks and stared at the empty spot. He had no idea what he had to think of these – as Dwyn described them – ‘Others’. He shook his head and continued walking to the inn.
    The inn was a dirty-looking, old mansion in the middle of the village, as if they were proud to be a village where only drunk and old sailors came to.
    When he reached the main door he heard loud noises coming from behind it. He hesitated for a moment before opening the door, when something flew right through it. Evan was quick enough to step aside to prevent the huge bag of clothes from colliding into him. It fell to the ground and Evan heard men laughing inside the inn. He slowly walked towards the bag and stopped some feet before it. He was terribly shocked when the bag suddenly started moving and making growling noises. It stood up and Evan realised it was a man. A very short and hairy man with a helmet and an axe. The man started grumbling and didn’t seem to realise Evan was standing next to him. ‘Bloody innkeepers..’
    Evan coughed. ‘Excuse me.’
    The man turned around immediately and looked up to Evan. ‘Who’re you?’
    ‘I’m a sailor,’ Evan said with no intentions to tell the dwarf anything about himself.
    ‘Ah, right. I’m a mercenary,’ He picked up his shield. ‘and I wouldn’t go in there if I were you.’ He turned around and took a few steps before he fell to the ground again. He sweared, stood up and tried to walk further.
    ‘You’re drunk,’ said Evan unnecessary.
    The dwarf made a sound between a hiccough and a growl before he turned around. But he turned to fast and fell to the ground again.
    ‘You’re VERY drunk,’ Evan corrected his last sentence.
    The dwarf pulled out his axe and for a moment Evan was afraid he was going to hit him, but then he stuck it in the ground and leant on it. ‘I think you’re right.’ He sighed.
    Evan still stood there, but there still was something he was curious about. ‘Why exactly were you thrown out of the inn?’ he asked the dwarf.
    The dwarf looked at him for a split second before he shook his head. ‘No, no, I’d better not tell you.’
    ‘Why not?’ Evan asked.
    ‘I don’t want you to get involved, boy,’ the man leaning on his axe said.
    ‘There’s really no need to be worried about me, old man,’ Evan said with the emphasis on “old man” ‘I’m a sailor, and everyone knows that the sea is the most untamable power on this world. I can take it.’
    Evan looked right into the dwarf’s watery eyes and the dwarf sank down again. ‘Fine, if that’s what you want.’
    Evan smiled and helped the man on his feet.
    ‘But can I know your name first?’ the dwarf asked when he was lifted by Evan, who was almost his double size.
    Evan hesitated for a moment but then he realised that the dwarf was so drunk he probably would remember nothing of this anyway, so he told the dwarf his name.
    ‘I’m Tristan Sabre, nice to meet you.’ He leant to his right and vomited in the shrubs they passed while they were walking to a more quiet place.
    ‘Yeah, it’s nice to meet you too,’ Evan said lifting his nose and looking away from the dwarf.
    They arrived at a spot where there was practically no sound. Tristan stumbled to the first tree and sank down. Evan followed his example and sat down too, though a little away from him.
    It was silent for a while. Tristan sighed a couple of times and when Evan noticed his eyes were closing he quickly asked what it was he wasn’t supposed to get involved in.
    The dwarf seemed to be awaking from a dream and shook his head. ‘Yes, yes, what you’re not supposed to get involved in… right.’
    He sighed again. Evan had never been drunk, but he started to wonder if you actually sighed that much when you were. His dad always used to be drunk a lot, but he only hit Evan and his mum when he was.
    ‘You’re sure you want to know this?’ Tristan asked him, his eyes as piercing as they could right now. Evan nodded.
    ‘So you were on sea the last couple of weeks, or months?’
    Evan nodded again.
    ‘Right, and you haven’t noticed anything odd there lately? Something that isn’t supposed to be there?’
    Evan frowned, wondering if the man meant the strange men that he had been seeing there. ‘Maybe…’ he said slowly.
    The dwarf seemed surprised by this piece of information. ‘What have you seen there then?
    Evan hesitated. ‘Some men that aren’t supposed to be there,’ he decided.
    Tristan’s eyes were wide open now.
    ‘You haven’t been on a ship with a man called Dwyn, have you?’ he asked Evan.
    ‘Yes, I have,’ Evan said with an even bigger frown, ‘Why?’
    ‘That bastard!’ Tristan got to his feet, kicked the tree and fell to the ground again.
    ‘Why is he a bastard?’ Evan asked the dwarf that was lying on the ground.
    ‘He has been describing these men as ‘Others’, hasn’t he?’
    ‘Well, yes, but-‘
    ‘Then I’m afraid you are already playing a part in this, Evan,’ the dwarf said sadly.
    ‘Why? What is going on then? Who are those men? Are they from another world?’
    The dwarf shook his head. ‘They’re not from another world, Evan, they’re from the future.’

    Evan had the feeling his head was still spinning ever since Tristan had told him that piece of information. He still wasn’t sure if he believed it. It seemed so far-fetched.
    He and the dwarf named Tristan had departed from the small village the next day and had been travelling for a couple of hours. When Tristan had woken up Evan had had to re-tell him who he was. After that, they had managed to find two horses and were riding them as they left. Tristan had let out a large amount of growls and moans because of his hangover and didn’t talk at all, leaving Evan alone with his own thoughts.
    If these people truly came from the future, then what were they doing here? And how far from the future were they? A hundred years? Seven years? Was he going to see an older version of himself? There were so many unanswered questions Evan needed the answer to, but Tristan wasn’t talking and there was no-one else he could ask.
    He couldn’t help himself. ‘Where are we going exactly?’
    The dwarf moaned and turned his head to Evan. ‘We’re going to a friend of mine.’
    ‘Oh, and where does he live?’ said Evan, refusing to drop the subject now Tristan had finally started talking.
    ‘Do you know Ars?’
    ‘Yes, that’s near Castle Haldia,’ Evan said looking hopefully.
    ‘Yes, well that’s where we’re going.’

    Aigneis thought it would be better if she told Kevon about the small box. She decided she would not look into it, because it could be very personal. But when she told Kevon about it, he insisted on seeing it. Aigneis thought she saw tears in his eyes when he grabbed it.
    ‘Did you look into it?’ he asked.
    Aigneis shook her head. ‘I thought it’d be better if I didn’t.’
    He put the box under his bed and stared out of the window. ‘Maybe you should leave, Aigneis.’
    ‘I’m sorry. I’ll come back later.’
    ‘No, that’s not what I mean.’ He turned around. ‘You should flee.’
    Aigneis looked at him as if he had gone crazy. ‘What?’
    ‘Really terrible things happened here, long ago. And you know what was strange? There always was a lady in black there to announce them. Isn’t that weird?’
    Aigneis stood very still and stayed silent.
    ‘Faicre saw her too. He said she was a banshee. Later, when I searched the library for banshees I found out they are only seen by some people. People of pure Gaelic blood.’ He sat down. ‘My mother was of pure Gaelic blood, my dad isn’t. When Fiacre told him about the banshee my dad didn’t believe him. I was too young to really understand it.’
    He buried his head in his hands and Aigneis walked towards him. She put her arm around him and made soft sounds. ‘It’s OK.’
    ‘No, it’s not,’ he said standing up. His eyes were red and he had a strange, tortured look on his face. ‘You’re leaving. There is a carriage standing at the gate. You will go with it.’ He said all of this like he was King already, and there was no stopping him. Aigneis nodded and was about to open the door when she remembered something.
    ‘Kevon, I’ve seen the banshee too.’
    He stared at her with his mouth slightly open. ‘That makes two, then. But you’re leaving anyway.’
    Aigneis opened the door and walked up the stairs. But the last thing she was going to do was go to her room and pack her belongings. Instead of that she started running after she was out of sight of Kevons room. She ran through the corridor untill she arrived at Fiacre’s room. She looked around and slowly opened the door. She had just thought of something; Why was Fiacre’s room, after all these years, still unused with all his belongings in it? There was something strange about it.
    The room was the same as usual. Aigneis walked to the middle of the room, nothing happened. She walked towards the window and looked through it. It was foggy and damp outside, and Aigneis thought it was exactly the right temperature for the flowers to wake up. She smiled. Suddenly she heard a noise coming from outside and a dove fell down from the roof. Another one followed, and another, and another. One of them landed on the window sill and Aigneis suddenly felt really nauseous. The dove had no feathers anymore and her beak lay a few inches beside her. Aigneis walked back into the room, away from the window.
    Suddenly she fell into a hole in the ground, she screamed.