Sometimes

Discussion in 'Rants & Scams' started by Darkloch, Aug 10, 2008.

  1. Darkloch

    Darkloch Love Sara

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    Sometimes, people don’t want to know how you feel. But they still ask the question, just to pretend that they actually care. In busses or airplanes it passes the time, in bars and pubs it’s a way to keep yourself busy while killing of a couple of brain cells.
    Actually, let’s dwell on that for a while. You can enter a bar in the worst mood ever; alone, out of a job, no girlfriend and just enough money to get drunk. Still when you sit down at the bar with all those other out of a job, no girlfriend losers, they become your best friends.
    Until the money dries up or your booze fry your brain, then you start to hate them.
    The only reason you hate them is that in them you see yourself; their pathetic existence reminds you of your own. And if you don’t recognize yourself in this then you have no business to read it because it’s not aimed at you.
    But just as you hate them the most, it passes.
    Because someone has just remembered that they had some money on their account, or that a couple of blocks away is a guy that owes them money. So everyone becomes your best friends again for one more round.
    Then you go home to your apartment and crawl into your bed with the dirty sheets or you slink into your parent’s house and into your room without them noticing. You fall asleep in ten minutes flat and don’t dream.
    Sometimes you don’t even move until you wake up with a dry mouth and bad memories. But those memories are nothing compared to the dreams you have when you’ve managed to stay sober for a day, either working at the job paying 5 bucks a week or not working so you wouldn’t have enough money to buy booze.
    Those dreams of inadequacy, in love, in wealth or even in keeping your gold fish alive. A person is defined by inadequacy. The fear that you are not good enough it was keeps you going. If you don’t feel inadequate, you are going to die within a week.
    Inadequacy is life, life is inadequacy.
    Example: you have one good day, you get a job, find a girlfriend and you walk on clouds. Everything is going great for a time. This time could be days or months or even years, but the end result will be that you feel perfect and she feels perfect and then the whole shit goes to hell.
    Why?
    Because none of you felt in-ad-equ-ate!
    You were on top of the bloody world and now you’re going down again!
    You will go from being the greatest man on earth for a while but come crashing into that earth with the force of a volcano.
    It will leave you drained and weak, you will not go to work for a month so you will lose said work.
    Then you will be right back at the bar with your hated friends, drinking your hated booze that’s so relieving because they keep those hated dreams of inadequacy away, but not forgotten!
    Congratulations you ****er, you are inadequate. Want to go for a beer?
     
  2. AlphaAlex

    AlphaAlex Official Forum Nuisance

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    Damn, you need a hug. I think we've all been there at once stage or another. Some of us longer than others. just keep your chin up and know that everything works out in the end.



    Actually for me, it doesnt make me hate em, it makes me realize that I'm not the only poor soul that feels this way and i get some reassurance that way.