Discussion in 'Original Works' started by Alone, Jul 23, 2009.
[removed - thanks for all your kind comments]
I loved it. Seeing the punctuation made me happy because not many know how necessary it is in poetry just as it is in prose. It gave me, the reader, clear stopping and starting points yet didn't interrupt the overall flow of the poem. My favorite lines were the last four, because I fully agree with them.
If I could give out reputation, I would, but for some reason that ability is lost to me.
Thank you very much, lacey. My verse tends to be of the stream of consciousness variety; once written, I never edit it. Sometimes I manage to produce something readable, most times I don't. Anyway, I'm glad it provided some enjoyment for you and thanks again for the kind words.
Very good indeed. If that's what you produce when you're not trying, I'd like to read some of the stuff you've sweated over...
Thank you, Chaos Engine. Ultimately, though, I create nonsense. I like rhyming, and I enjoy fitting words into a particular rhythmic pattern, but there are no profound insights to be discovered in anything I write. If it passed a minute of your time in a pleasant manner then it has achieved its objective.
I have to say, I liked it. Those amateur poets who strive for profundity often fail miserably. Sometimes it's enough to put together a poem that's pleasing to the eye as well as the mind, and there's no shame in having that as your only goal. You've scored on both counts, so give yourself a pat on the back.
Playing with words is always a great thing to do. You never know what you're going to come up with and this is really quite good. I enjoyed it a great deal
Separate names with a comma.