Short story

Discussion in 'Original Works' started by S.J. Faerlind, Aug 14, 2012.

  1. S.J. Faerlind

    S.J. Faerlind Flashlight Shadowhunter

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    I entered this one in a fiction short story contest once. It had to be under 1500 words (I squeaked in at 1487 I think) Did it win? No....(darn it all because the prizes were really good!). Anyway, here it is:


    Revelation
    I open my eyes to view a blue sky laden with white puffy clouds. All around me I can see long stalks of grass reaching toward it and I sit up in confusion. Impossibly, I’m sitting in a field and bugs are happily crawling around me, securing themselves a living in a tiny universe of their own. I scramble to my feet, anxiously dusting off my clothing. Bugs give me the creeps, no matter how useful and wondrous they are!
    I suddenly sense movement behind me and instinctively, I duck. A sword slices through the air where my head had been just a moment ago and a horse bearing a dark rider goes thundering past me on the right. Adrenaline pours into my bloodstream and my heart begins to race as I realise that I’m in danger! Wildly, I stare around me in panic and confusion. I have no time to contemplate anything but terror as the horse wheels around for a second charge. Its rider’s yellow eyes lock onto mine, seeming to glow luminously in an angular, ebony-skinned face. He raises his wickedly curved sword for another strike and his lips curl back in a cruel smile. A primal scream of terror rips out of my throat as death gallops toward me.
    Another dark-skinned figure appears suddenly, standing between me and death. If the rider was dark, this being is the absence of light, or rather, it is dormant light obscured by pure darkness. The black robes that clothe it are absolutely still in the breeze as it raises a hand toward the oncoming horror. Shuddering, I realise that I can feel the massiveness of its malignant presence all around me. I back away from it, certain beyond a doubt that I would rather be beheaded by the rider than suffer whatever tortures this new thing has planned for me. I hear a sickening crunch and a scream of agony abruptly cuts off as horse and rider crumple dead to the ground in front of the dark being. Sobbing in hopeless panic, I turn to run, tripping over a hummock of grass and sprawling headlong onto the ground. I hardly notice as I scramble to my feet again, my terror lending me speed I never knew my legs could manage.
    The massive presence behind me is still with me, though I can no longer see it. No matter which direction I go, or how fast I run, I can’t escape it. Yet something about it is changing. I sense the light within it is brightening, expanding outward with radiant love to envelop and quiet the darkness. I now understand that the essence of my mysterious saviour holds love, joy and happiness as much as it also holds malice, rage and hatred. Its powerful presence is somehow very familiar and curiosity slows my steps.
    For the first time, I take note of my surroundings. I’m running through a gently waving sea of grass. Here and there, formations of grey stone dot the plains. Birds burst out of the grass ahead of me, but they aren’t birds that my eyes have seen before. The sun is slightly too yellow to be the light of my world and yet something about this odd place is also hauntingly familiar. I only wish I knew why!
    My panic fades as no further danger befalls me and I see no point in running anymore. I can’t outrun the powerful being that pursues me and I have no idea where I’m going. Exhausted and breathing hard, I stop and turn to face my fate.
    I am greeted by the image of a kindly old man wearing long robes made of light. His face is lit from within and his eyes are wise and kind. He smiles encouragingly at me and I can only stare at him in wonder. I know this is the same being that killed the rider for I can sense the darkness within him though I can’t see it in the face he shows me now. He walks slowly toward me as if he is afraid to scare me.
    “Have no fear,” he reassures me. “I will not harm you.”
    I nod wordlessly; still unable to comprehend why this strange place and the being in front of me are so alien and yet are also familiar. I study the old man intently, hoping to find some clue to his identity.
    “This is how you perceive yourself,” he notes, staring at me with interest as he walks in a slow circle around me. His gaze is penetrating and I suspect he does not just refer to my physical appearance. I frown in confusion, looking down at my faded blue jeans and my worn running shoes.
    “Well...sure,” I respond, wondering at the oddness of the being’s statement. How else would I perceive myself?
    “I see things about us that resemble you,” the kindly-faced man announced, his eyes lighting up in delight at the thought. I can only stare at him in utter confusion but that doesn’t seem to bother him. He gives me another encouraging smile. “You know me,” he assures me. “In fact, you know everything about me and about this place. Suspend your disbelief and you will understand,” he urges me.
    Mental images of the past half hour flash through my mind at his words: the yellow-eyed rider, his sword, the dark face and massive presence of the being before me, the plains, and the sun. Other images began to join them; they were images I had not entertained in a very long time. “Eranta?” I ask in disbelief, naming the god in front of me. The brilliance of Eranta’s smile was dazzling as he nodded.
    “I’m dreaming,” I stated in wonder, looking around me at Eranta’s world. That was a comforting explanation, vastly preferable to the implications of the only other possibility.
    “No,” Eranta replied calmly, “you are not.”
    “You mean I’m really here?!” I asked, pinching myself to be sure that it was true. Eranta laughed as I yelped at the pressure of my own fingers.
    “It would seem so,” he agreed. “It is strange to see how you perceive yourself,” he admitted. “This is not the way you present yourself to me.”
    “No,” I agreed, thinking that over. “You came from a wellspring of raw creation. You were one idea, one possibility out of many.”
    “I can see that you are both,” Eranta told me. “You are the wellspring and you are also what I see before me.”
    “I can’t believe it,” I told him, shaking my head. “I must be dreaming!”
    “You are not,” he assured me again. “I exist because you created me, and through me all of this.” He indicated the softly swaying plain of grass and what I knew lay beyond it.
    “How do you know that you’re real?” I whispered, my mind spinning and reeling with the possibility.
    He smiled. “You created me to be all knowing and all-wise! Do you not remember?” he asked, laughing softly.
    I grinned and had to laugh at that. “I did,” I agreed, gazing at what I had once believed to be only a figment of my overactive imagination. In wonder, I reached out to touch my creation. His glowing robes were as soft as I had always imagined they would be. “I can’t stay here like this,” I told Eranta regretfully.
    “I know,” he answered. “Your creator has a purpose for you and you cannot fulfil it here. Besides, I must fulfil your purpose for me.”
    “Yes,” I agreed, thinking of the disasters that would befall this place if Eranta were not here to keep everything in balance. I had left his world in good hands I knew. I looked at Eranta then, somewhat embarrassed to ask my own creation what I needed to know now. “Um.... how do I get home?” I asked.
    “You already know the way,” Eranta assured me, laughing softly once again. “Suspend your disbelief.”
    I took a deep breath and concentrated on the rules I had made for this place. A pillar of rock rose slowly out of the ground in front of me. Etched onto its surface was a rectangular doorway outlined by a twisting pattern of double strands. Stepping on the black and white disc at the base of it, I watched as a brilliant line of light lit up one strand and darkness crawled up the other. I stepped on the other disc and the rock inside the pattern disappeared. I smiled at my creation and he waved goodbye as I stepped through the gateway back into my office. Resting on my desk was my computer and I stared at it in new wonder as the gateway snapped shut and disappeared behind me. In the world my own creator had made, a machine held the physical manifestation of my creations here...the stories that I so love to write.


    Dedicated to scribes everywhere!
     
  2. StagLord

    StagLord New Member

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    Interesting, loving the first person view (Y) keep it up!
     
  3. Beldaran

    Beldaran Guest

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    I love it :)!
     
  4. S.J. Faerlind

    S.J. Faerlind Flashlight Shadowhunter

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    Thanks guys! I hardly ever write anything from first person point of view so this one was a little bit challenging. Keeping it to 1500 words was tough too.
     
  5. Firiath

    Firiath Halfling barbarian

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    A limit of 1500 words is really cruel. I would have liked to read more of this. :D
     
  6. S.J. Faerlind

    S.J. Faerlind Flashlight Shadowhunter

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    All of my short stories are based on the worlds and characters from my novels. This one springs from the first trilogy I wrote. That series is near and dear to me but I doubt that I'll ever post or publish it. It would take A LOT of fixing up before I'd let anyone else read it! There are a couple of other short stories based on the same world that I could post if you want though Firiath. The first is supposed to be funny (at least I think it's funny... others might not agree) and the other has a neat twist at the end of it.
     
  7. Firiath

    Firiath Halfling barbarian

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    Oooh, twists sound great!
     
  8. S.J. Faerlind

    S.J. Faerlind Flashlight Shadowhunter

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    OK... you asked for it...lol!
    I'll try and post it later todayor tomorrow. Depending on how long our posts are allowed to be I may have to post it in a few different parts.