Discussion in 'Joke Board' started by Turin, Nov 30, 2003.
Matt: LMFAO, love it
Six stages of married life:
2: Try weekly
3: Try weakly
4. Try oysters
5: Try anything
6: Try to remember
which 1 are you at?
That information is available on a "Need to know basis". You don't need to know.
translation: stage 6
*l* Or perhaps #5
Most men combine either of the first two with the third, and then throw in some of the others randomly as the 'mood' takes them...
Q. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
A. Slow down and use a lubricant.
Q. Why does the bride always wear white?
A. Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.
Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A. Marry it!
Q. Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
A. When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.
Q. How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
A. Put a nipple on it.
An Amish boy and his father were in a mall.They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, "What is this Father?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button.The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room.The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.
Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blonde stepped out.
The father said quietly to his son, "Go get your mother".
That's brilliant!!!!!! lol
That and the six stages of married life are my favourites!
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
How are women and tornadoes alike?
They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave
ROFL at the second one mate.
Reminds me of one.
What do a tornado and a Texas divorce have in common?
In both cases, someone is gonna lose their trailer house.
Separate names with a comma.