Discussion in 'Joke Board' started by Turin, Nov 30, 2003.
I can only guess...
I figured it's like the warning label on a bottle of alcohol, so nobody can say they're not informed.
Wait, the perverts, or this pervert.
Yup. I make people feel good at the time but hate themselves later, they know I'm bad but they keep coming back for more, it's amazing how many women want to suck on my neck and I'm really only suitable for adults.
At least people tend to scream when they think of kids putting me in themselves...:devilbat:
lol. Are you a beer bottle?
Rockmouth, I meant Unraveller. But around here you should be afraid of the perverts in general. Shall I name them for you?
Ill will know who to watch out for
Hey. Found some funny comics.
Dude, thats frigin awsome!
>>A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed
>>that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ
>>depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.
>>For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged
>>and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she
>>tends to be more attracted to a man with a spear lodged in his chest and
>>tape over his mouth while he is on fire.
>>No further studies are planned
Why men have better friends:
Friendship Between Women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband
that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's
10 best friends. None of them knew about it.
Friendship between Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he
had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10
best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two
claimed that he was still there.
lol, I like that one
LMAO We had fun picking that out.
Great ones Jake.
Loving husband, Ed, was in trouble. He forgot his wedding
His wife was really mad at him and she told him, "Tomorrow morning,
I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from zero to 200
in less than six seconds. And it better be there!"
The next morning, Ed got up early and left for work. When his wife
woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough, there was a
small box gift wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway and
brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand
new bathroom scale.
Funeral services for Ed have been scheduled for Friday.
A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her
5-year-old son playing with his new electric train in
the living room. She heard the train stop and her son
saying, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell
off now... cause this is the last stop! And all of you
sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses on the
train...cause we're going down the tracks.
The horrified mother went in and told her son,
"We don't use that kind of language in this house.
Now I want you to go to your room and you are to
stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out,
you may play with your train..but I want you to use
Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train.
Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say.
"All passengers, please remember your things,
thank you and hope your trip was a pleasant one.
We hope you will ride with us again soon."
She heard her little darling continue..."For those of you just
boarding, remember, there is no smoking in the train.
We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey
with us today."
As the mother began to smile,
the child added, "For those of you who are
pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see
the bitch in the kitchen...."
Omg rofl @ the weighing scale one. That's surely a quick way to die.
The second one was amazing aswell XD
*choking with laughter*
LMAO, they were brilliant Jake .
Separate names with a comma.