Sex in Middle Earth

Discussion in 'Debates' started by havelockploz, Mar 30, 2004.

  1. Iluvatar2004

    Iluvatar2004 New Member

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    ok...pardon me if i say anything thats already been said, but i couldnt bear to read all of this...lol...I just want to first off say...why does everything have to be about sex?!?!?! i mean dont get me wrong, i am a dude who likes sex, but i dont think tolkien was too worried that there wasnt sex in his books...because they are not trashy romance novels...and ents...i dont even want to think of an ent having sex *shudders*
     
  2. Liadan

    Liadan Insert Title Here

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    Ents sometimes became trees, and vice versa.
    As for the whole divine being thing... but what about the Valar? They "dwelt together" or "alone," and there's that one part in the Silmarillion where they mention that Tulkas (I think) took Nessa to wife (I think, I might have gotten the names mixed up).
    And anyway, Tolkien was, er, old-timer concerning sex. I don't think he ever meant it to be a subject to be discussed.
     
  3. asap

    asap New Member

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    Who's ever cared about what Tokien wanted, after the movie was made :rolleyes:

    The Valar may have dwelt together, but there's no reported offspring (unlike Greek gods)
     
  4. Liadan

    Liadan Insert Title Here

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    Actually, there is. While in the Silmarillion, there were no children, in Morgoth's Ring (the old version of the Silmarillion), there were Valarindi, children of the Valar, but I guess Tolkien took that out later.
     
  5. OrcShaman

    OrcShaman Star Trek addict

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    About elves, i think they're pretty similar to humans, since they can have kids together. Now, a few (dumb) questions:

    1. Am i the only guy that regrets that there are no elven lesbians? (elves being the fairest of all and crap)
    2. A kid with a dwarven father and a hobbit mother would look like Cousin It?
    3. If the number ov elves is constant, how do they know when one dies so they can "produce " another? (that makes me think about clones kept in suspended animation)
    4. If you think that ent sex is weird, what about balrogs or trolls?
     
  6. asap

    asap New Member

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    *puts on expert hat*

    1. Considering the number of male elves who already favour purple robes, tiaras and tight leggins, even a few female elves turning lesbian would mean the even lower likelihood of two straight elves ever meeting eachother, and thus lead to the inevitable extinction of the species.

    2. No information avaiblabe; it is one of the theories of the leading experts on the field (cough), however, that Hobbits themselves are a result of elf/dwarf crossbreeding (pointy ears from one parent, hairy feet from the other)

    3.
    They didn't cast agent Smith in the role of Elrond for nothing.

    4. That's where volcanoes and landslides come from.



    *picks up and explores different pieces of the thread* Didn't this one start out as a serious one once?
     
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2005
  7. JasonBL

    JasonBL New Member

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    You are definitley not the only one to think of this ... But, I really shouldn't say anymore!

    Jason
     
  8. Bard

    Bard Erchamion

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    I am with you two too.
     
  9. Bard

    Bard Erchamion

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    geez, orc sex would be "terrifying to behold".
     
  10. Liadan

    Liadan Insert Title Here

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    You're a disgusting... "manly man". :rolleyes: :D :p
     
  11. isengard111

    isengard111 The Master Chief

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    That's what 'manly men' think about. ;)
     
  12. Bard

    Bard Erchamion

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    werd.....
     
  13. Nienor

    Nienor Administrator Staff Member

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    There are still people discussing this?......


    asap, is there really any such thing as a serious thread in this forum. :rolleyes:
     
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  14. Ranger_of_Gondor

    Ranger_of_Gondor Gondorian Defender

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    erm...why is this even a thread?
     
  15. isengard111

    isengard111 The Master Chief

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  16. asap

    asap New Member

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    and even if there is, snotty human brats with their one hand constantly occupied with ... nosepicking won't get to watch.
     
  17. OrcShaman

    OrcShaman Star Trek addict

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    Thank you, my brother :)
     
  18. OrcShaman

    OrcShaman Star Trek addict

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    Who sayed anything about watching??? Participating, now that's the thing. Hehehehe... :) :humper: :humper: :humper:
     
  19. isengard111

    isengard111 The Master Chief

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    I think elves are above you orcs, Mr. Shaman. :nono: :( :p
     
  20. OrcShaman

    OrcShaman Star Trek addict

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    i don't mind if they're on top :)
     
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