Rude jokes Rated R14

Discussion in 'Joke Board' started by Sir_Athos105, Feb 19, 2007.

  1. warrior_squirrel21

    warrior_squirrel21 blue is my favorite color

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    Ok i came up with this myself.

    There once was a boy named Waxon.
    His mother sent him to his aunt's house for the summer.
    While leaving him at his aunts house, his mother said quietly to her sister,
    "Be sure to change the sheets frequently, because Waxon wacks off."
     
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  2. RayCaptain

    RayCaptain 如朱

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    ...not funny
     
  3. Blackness

    Blackness Well-Known Member

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    I don't even get it...
     
  4. Árëlin Milloway

    Árëlin Milloway Toast Tiger

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    Ha! One of the best I've ever heard *roflmao*
     
  5. Sir_Athos105

    Sir_Athos105 Bladesmaster of Andor

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    hey guys dont be mean i get ws21's joke
     
  6. charlie6078

    charlie6078 rawr

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    roflmao, funny stuff by there :D
     
  7. Sir_Athos105

    Sir_Athos105 Bladesmaster of Andor

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    yea too true

    anyway here's one:

    There was a nun on a bus and it came to a bus stop and a hippie got on. He came and sat by the nun. after a while he started looking at her appreciatively. Then he said to the nun, "Would you have sex with me?"
    Understandably shocked, she said "No!" and got off at the next stop.
    The bus driver, hearing the exchange, turned around and said "I can tell you were trying to get that nun to have sex with you," he continued "Well i know something about that nun. Every tuesday she goes to the graveyard and prays before one of the tomb stones. She says 'O Lord if only you would come down to me and have sex with me, and i would know you by the fact that you would be wearing an ankle length cloak and a glowing mask'"
    The hippie thanked the bus driver and got off at his stop. That Tuesday, he went down to the grave yard in his cloak and mask and sure enough, there was the nun, praying before a grave stone. When she finished praying he jumped out and said "It is I the Lord!"
    and she was amazed and askedhim to have sex with her but to make it anal so that she would retain her virginity. The hippie agreed and thay got busy.
    When they'd finished he leaped up, pulled off the mask and said "HA! I'm the hippie!"
    and the nun leaped up, pulled off her mask and said "HA! I'm the bus driver!"
     
  8. rhapsody of serendai

    rhapsody of serendai Thorn's Lover

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  9. warrior_squirrel21

    warrior_squirrel21 blue is my favorite color

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  10. Sakura-chan

    Sakura-chan The Radish Spirit

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    so funny... and so horrible at once. lol.
     
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  11. Kakashi

    Kakashi The Fighters Guide House Member

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    wait till you see the dead baby jokes XP
     
  12. Sakura-chan

    Sakura-chan The Radish Spirit

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    i want to hear some!
     
  13. Kakashi

    Kakashi The Fighters Guide House Member

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    there is a thread on them, a few threads down on the joke forum.
     
  14. Kakashi

    Kakashi The Fighters Guide House Member

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  15. Blackness

    Blackness Well-Known Member

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    LOOOOOOOOOL
     
  16. Kakashi

    Kakashi The Fighters Guide House Member

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    hah! thats a gooot (as in good) one
     
  17. Foinikas

    Foinikas Playing backgammon!

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    There was a communist once who visited a gallery.He saw many works of art and just when he was about to leave he saw a painting wrapped up in paper,touching the wall with a sign on it saying "Stalin in Vienna".

    Surprised he calls for the manager of the gallery and asks him about the painting.

    Manager:Yes sir,Stalin once went to Vienna and this is the painting about it.
    Communist:But it can't be,I'm a communist I know everything about Stalin's life he never went to Vienna!
    M:No sir he did and this is the painting about it.
    C:Anyway I want to buy it.
    M:Sir it's not for sale this is a rare painting it's not for sale.

    After enough bargaining he persuades the manager and buys the painting for 100,000 Euro.
    He quickly unwraps the paper on the spot and sees a naked guy and a naked woman on a bed ready to have sex.Surprised he asks the manager:

    C:What's this sir?
    M:The painting sir.
    C:What...what's this...who is this woman?
    M:Stalin's wife.
    C:And this guy?Who is he?
    M:Her lover.
    C:And Stalin?!Where is Stalin??!!!
    M:In Vienna...
     
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2007
  18. Kakashi

    Kakashi The Fighters Guide House Member

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  19. Foinikas

    Foinikas Playing backgammon!

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    A guy wins the joker(like the lottary or something) and he becomes a millionaire.He goes to his house and says to his wife:

    -Wife!I won the joker!
    -Oh my!
    -Get your luggage ready!
    -Why where are we going baby?
    -I'm going to Hawai,you're going to your mother.

    (or you could say "I'm going nowhere.You're leaving.")
     
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2007
  20. Kenshin

    Kenshin Drifter

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    a young girl wanted to buy a bra.
    girl: dad, can i buy a bra?
    dad: im srry sweetie, but you dont have anything to put in a bra.;)
    girl: but you wear shorts!