Rude jokes Rated R14

Discussion in 'Joke Board' started by Sir_Athos105, Feb 19, 2007.

  1. Sir_Athos105

    Sir_Athos105 Bladesmaster of Andor

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    hi

    i figured the joke board needed a rude jokes section to please the masses so here it is!

    Knock yourselves out
     
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  2. charlie6078

    charlie6078 rawr

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    ohh, i will, i have 566 rude jokes ready and waiting:D

    #1
    if you have nuts on a wall, what do you have? wallnuts
    if you have nuts on your chest, what do you have? chestnuts
    if you have nuts on your chin, what do you have? my dick is in your mouth
     
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2007
  3. rhapsody of serendai

    rhapsody of serendai Thorn's Lover

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    A wedding occurred just outside Cavan in Ireland.

    To keep tradition going, everyone gets extremely drunk and the bride's and
    groom's families have a storming row and begin wrecking the reception room
    and generally kicking the sh*t out of each other. The police get called in
    to break up the fight.

    The following week, all members of both families appear in court. The
    fight continues in the courtroom until the judge finally brings calm with the
    use of his gavel, shouting, 'Silence in court!'

    The courtroom goes silent and Paddy, the best man, stands up and says,
    'Judge, I was the best man at the wedding and I think I should explain
    what happened.'

    The judge agrees and asks Paddy to take the stand. Paddy begins his
    explanation by telling the court that it is traditional in a Cavan wedding
    that the best man gets the first dance with the bride.

    The judge says, 'OK.'

    'Well,' said Paddy, 'after I had finished the first dance, the music kept
    going, so I continued dancing to the second song, and after that the music
    kept going and I was dancing to the third song, when all of a sudden the
    groom leapt over the table, ran towards us and gave the bride an
    unmerciful kick right between her legs.'

    Shocked, the judge instantly responded, 'God, that must have hurt!'

    'Hurt?' Paddy replies. 'The b*stard broke three of my fingers!'
     
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  4. saiqa

    saiqa Innocent evil...

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    There was this girl, she didn't have big boobs. No boobs = no boyfriends. But her sister had many boyfriends...so one day, she told her sister about her problem...
    Her sister told her to put coconuts in her chest...then they'll look big...
    The girl did so. She found a boyfriend...they went on a date.
    When the girl came back, her sister asked her "How was the date?"
    She replied "Everything was great! We kissed and maked out...but"
    "But what?" her sister said
    "My boyfriend...he had to go to the dentist..."


    PS. For those of you who may not understand the joke-
    The guy had to go to the dentist because he broke all his teeth...
     
    Last edited: Mar 9, 2007
  5. saiqa

    saiqa Innocent evil...

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    There was this lady...she was shaving her boobs...
    While shaving...she accidentally cut her niples...
    She quickly put the niples in a bag, and rushed to the doctor
    The doctor said he needed the niples to fix her boobs...
    The lady told her driver to bring the packet that's on the dressing table (the packet with the niples)
    The driver left
    He came back to the hospital and said
    "Ma'am...that packet you told me to bring...it didn't have anything in it...just two raisins....I was hungry...so I ate 'em...."
     
  6. saiqa

    saiqa Innocent evil...

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    A conversation between mother and daughter:

    Mother: "If a guy touches your boobs, say dont"
    Mother: "And if a guy touches your pussy, say stop"
    Daughter: "But mom, he touched both, so I said 'dont stop' "
     
  7. charlie6078

    charlie6078 rawr

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    lol, nice one
     
  8. rhapsody of serendai

    rhapsody of serendai Thorn's Lover

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    :yak: :yak: :yak: :yak:
     
  9. saiqa

    saiqa Innocent evil...

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    Hehe :D ......
     
  10. Renzokuken

    Renzokuken You have failed this city!

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    Bahaha. Thats funny. :D lol
     
  11. saiqa

    saiqa Innocent evil...

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    Heehee...I know...:D
     
  12. saiqa

    saiqa Innocent evil...

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    I've got another joke...

    There was this guy....so one day his secretary comes and says
    "Boss, your wife is on the phone...she wants to f$#k you on the phone..."
    The guy says "Take the message for me, and give it to me later..."
     
  13. rhapsody of serendai

    rhapsody of serendai Thorn's Lover

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    lol that's good!
     
  14. Renzokuken

    Renzokuken You have failed this city!

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    Lol. Good stuff. :D
     
  15. saiqa

    saiqa Innocent evil...

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    Glad you guys liked 'em :D

    Another joke...

    There was a mother with twin babies...they were young and she had to breast feed them...
    She got tired of both sucking at the same time...so she decided to poison one boob...which ever kid drinks milk from that boob dies...
    Next morning when she woke up she saw her husband was dead...
     
  16. rhapsody of serendai

    rhapsody of serendai Thorn's Lover

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    Where do you get all these jokes??? Do you come up with them yourself?
     
  17. Cheesy Goodness

    Cheesy Goodness The Fighters Guide House Member

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  18. saiqa

    saiqa Innocent evil...

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    No, I didn't come up with them myself...my friends and classmates told me...:)

    I've got alot more jokes but the thing is they're in another language and if I translate them they won't be funny...:(
     
  19. saiqa

    saiqa Innocent evil...

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    Hehe lol XD :D

    Just saw the video.....y'know, if I didn't know the joke....I wouldn't have understood the video...
     
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2007
  20. saiqa

    saiqa Innocent evil...

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    Why should journalist women have big boobs?
    - Because they say "PRESS"