roommate

Discussion in 'Rants & Scams' started by olivia_the_lamb, Mar 24, 2008.

  1. olivia_the_lamb

    olivia_the_lamb Moderator Staff Member

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    So my roommate and I used to be best friends. It was always me and her together. Her name is Laura... She got a boyfriend this August and they've been inseparable since then. So, we became the triangle of trust. Then we fought twice, and now we are not friends. Mostly because of all of the horrible and untrue things she said about me, to me. I pretty much hate her...

    Anyway, so her boyfriend and her are now engaged. This pisses me off beyond belief. I know his sounds horrible, catty, and immature, but I don't get how someone so vile can get engaged. I can't even get a boyfriend and I am a good person. She treats everyone like crap, and she gets a fiancé. UGH.

    I am sorry you had to read that, but I had to let it out.

    :balrog:
     
  2. Ender-Zero

    Ender-Zero Ruff Mercenary

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    You're married to Met. That's always a plus.
     
  3. Sorcha

    Sorcha Moderator Staff Member

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    I assume she's 19 too? Take comfort in the fact the divorce rate is pretty high for couples married young. Or, if they're staying engaged for awhile, chances are it'll break up before college ends. Most of the freshman and sophomore engagements I've seen have fallen apart by senior year.

    You are much much better off waiting until you're older to get married. And it only takes one guy, just one, to be The One and all of a sudden you're married. Best meet the right guy after college...not nearly as much waiting involved :)
     
  4. Adina

    Adina <img src=http://www.thefantasyforum.com/images/nub

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    I can't imagine being jealous of anyone crazy enough to get married - ever.

    That out of the way, people attract similar people. I always say, if you're having a hard time meeting someone you get along well with, it's because here are half as many great guys out there as there are average. Same goes for women, too.
    Actively seeking a relationship is usually not a good idea, either. Just relax into life. Something will come along and you can make whatever necessary choices then.

    In the meantime, be happy for your ex-friend. Even bad people have done good things that deserve rewarding. She may have saved a drowning kitty when she was 5 or something and this is her repayment.
    In any case, try not to be bitter or you'll fall into the 'average' woman category before too long.
     
  5. Foinikas

    Foinikas Playing backgammon!

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    Well isn't that what happens to good people most of the times?

    But don't worry Oliv!I won't say that there's someone out there,you'll find the guy and he will be the best all that stuff I've been hearing for 10 years too...but at least you got shopping,chocolates and many other friends!
     
  6. Confessor

    Confessor New Member

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    The divorce rate for the U.S. is indeed horrible. During my 'single' days I never worried about meeting a guy, especially while I was in college. My degree was my main focus and hanging out with friends I made, most of which I haven't spoken to since I graduated. Anyway, you've got a good head on your shoulders. So what if your roommate is engaged now? You shouldn't be bitter she's found happiness. Just think, if her fiance, suddenly, realizes she's a pompous windbag who thinks of only herself or she goes to far with her meanness, he'll realize he's made a mistake and break it off. What she stated about you is just wrong but remember people change. She's changed but she hasn't realized it yet so she tells lies about you. Maybe she's uncomfortable with you being around there while her man friend is there or something. Maybe she's afraid you'll steal him away from her which I'm sure aren't your intentions. In all honesty, just let the water continue to flow underneath the bridge and don't worry about what lies she has told you but if she continues to lie tell her to mind her own business. It is sad to hear that your friendship went down the tubes. In all honesty, I'd focus on my degree and then finding a job and one day Mr. Right will come along. It is what happened to me. :) He ended up getting a job with me and I was the one who asked him out. lol! I know it sounds silly but us Women can take the bull buy the horns too! You'll find a good man. Just keep faith and keep on going each day. I hope this helps you out! Take care.
     
  7. Rae

    Rae Howling at the Dark Moon

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    The best advice I can give? Let it go. What is the point of being angry and upset. She found someone good for her - be happy for her. The more anger you carry, the more stress and unhappiness follow. Your turn will come (again, advice: don't dwell on it, don't search for it - the more you focus on it, the less you focus on yourself. and the best advice for that is the more relaxed and comfortable you feel, the beauty within shines through and you'll be irristable to the 'right' man.)

    Just chill hun. I know it sucks, but you know what -- Life continues, best to make the most of it and stop lingering on the bad.
     
  8. olivia_the_lamb

    olivia_the_lamb Moderator Staff Member

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    I'm not even angry because of her getting married or whatever.

    I'm mostly just still mad about what she did to me. I know I should let it go and blah blah, but I can't. She is 20, actually. Going to be 21. She is aweful, and she messed with my head REALLY bad. She's rude etc. I dunno.

    I shouldn't have expected anyone to understand 'cause y'all don't know the story.
     
  9. Sorcha

    Sorcha Moderator Staff Member

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    As far as I'm concerned, there's nothing wrong with hanging on a bit, especially if she terrorized you...and roommates do have ample opportunity to do just that, I remember. Don't let the awful feelings consume you, but I don't see anything wrong with protecting yourself emotionally against her.

    Personally, I don't think you have to be any nicer to her than you have to to keep her from destroying your life. Hold the status quo...only a few more weeks and you can find someone else. Keep in mind, though, you two are basically living on top of each other. lol. Make sure you don't burn the bridges while you're on em. :halo:
     
  10. olivia_the_lamb

    olivia_the_lamb Moderator Staff Member

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    I tried not hating her... didn't work. I hardly ever even acknowledge/think of her anymore... but this engagement crap was just over the top.
     
  11. Adina

    Adina <img src=http://www.thefantasyforum.com/images/nub

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    There's a big difference between being mad at her due to what she has done to you, and wishing her unhappiness.
    I've had more than a few friends do the same to me olivia, and I know it's horrible. Be mad and raging about what she did to you, you deserve that. But don't stoop to another's level by wishing them misfortune. Her being engaged and in love has little to do with the hurt she has caused you.

    For all the others out there telling Olivia to take comfort in the fact that her ex-friend's marriage likely will end in divorce; that's really disgusting.
     
  12. Ender-Zero

    Ender-Zero Ruff Mercenary

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    Liv: People like that arn't worth the time to even consider unless you're trying to fix the world, otherwise just ignore them, be aware of them, take heed of them, but don't listen to them or care about them. They are not worth the effort.
     
  13. Sorcha

    Sorcha Moderator Staff Member

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    I am a horrible person. It's to be expected :)
     
  14. olivia_the_lamb

    olivia_the_lamb Moderator Staff Member

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    Not everyone is a Christian, or does the "christian" thing to do... which in some cases be a complete walking contradiction like my roommate.

    I'll what I want with my hate and emotion. I can't help what I feel. It's like I'm going to kill her in her sleep.

    They haven't even been dating for a year. In love? I dunno about that. They started saying "I love you" two weeks into the relationship, and they make out in our doorm's cafeteria. That's disgusting. Both of those things.

    I'm sorry, but I don't think she deserves it. Though, maybe she does deserve him. He's completely whipped, everyone knows it. I know I wouldn't want someone like that.

    Anyway, this is a RANT section. Of course I am going to rant and be angry here. I don't have anywhere else to do it.
     
  15. Overread

    Overread Wolfing it up! Staff Member

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    Those who are cloest to us can hurt us the most. And often can without realising how much hurt they can cause.
    Though in the end consider how big a part of your life this is - roommate - thats a mate in a room for a year (in most cases) and if its a school year then its not even a continuous year at that. Its not like you have to be with them for the rest of your life ;)
    Consider though that whilst there precence is a small part of your life that it should not stop your life - continue on and ignor her - rant like there is no tomorrow here - but don't fight the fight with dirt -- in the long term its just not worth it
     
  16. olivia_the_lamb

    olivia_the_lamb Moderator Staff Member

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    I don't. That's what you people aren't realizing. Even now that I ignore her, she continues to pull petty crap, while I do nothing.
     
  17. ~Elladan~

    ~Elladan~ A Elbereth Gilthoniel

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    Olivia ~ sounds pretty irritating but I wouldn't let her drag you down. If you do let her, you're playing her stupid 'game'.

    Here's a pressie for you which may come in handy ;)

    [​IMG]
     
  18. olivia_the_lamb

    olivia_the_lamb Moderator Staff Member

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    *dies from laughing too hard*
     
  19. Adina

    Adina <img src=http://www.thefantasyforum.com/images/nub

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    Don't believe it for a second, doll.

    I really have no idea what Christianity has to do with this, but anyway...
    So far, you've complained that everyone has missed your point, but I think you're missing everyone else's. It's almost as if you didn't want to hear our replies anyway :confused:
    If you want to rant, do so; nobody is stopping you. I simply tried to give advice from the point of view of someone who has been there many, many times before because I know how hard it can be when a friend wrongs you.

    However, now that it's at this point and I'm slightly irritated by the fact you choose to remain a victim even here, I'll state my opinion more fully. Whether you take it on board or not is up to you, since this is your problem and not mine, after all.

    While you're complaining that she's said horrible things to you, that's all you're doing right back. You seem to enjoy being angry about this situation and you let her make it worse for you for biting at every carrot she dangles.
    In the bigger picture, you're responsible for your own feelings, not her. It sucks, but that's how it works.
    Nobody here is telling you how to feel, but there are better ways to deal with how you feel than be angry and hurt day in, day out. She's happy, you're suffering. Why let her rule you like that? You're controlling how much she is affecting you.
    Everyone who has replied so far is trying to help you, so why don't you just sit back, take it all in, and try to put some of the advice into action?

    Also, I don't think you should be judging when it's ok for someone to 'fall in love'. That's just my personal opinion, though.
     
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2008
  20. olivia_the_lamb

    olivia_the_lamb Moderator Staff Member

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    How do you even get that I seem to enjoy being angry? I've done NOTHING to her. Absolutely nothing. So, don't play that.

    I welcome advice, but no one is getting what I am trying to say, and you have missed the point the most.

    I went to a mental hospital and through group therapy because of all of this. I know how feelings/reactions work. Her actions caused me to feel this way, and I do what I can to deal with that. I can't just change how I feel at the snap of my fingers, but I can work on accepting it, and hope that it will eventually will change into something less vile.

    It's not like I sit around all day thinking "man, I hate her. I really wish blah blah". No, it's like this; I come back to the room after a long day and try to take a nap. She comes in, and I am clearly sleeping/trying to. She proceeds to be as loud as she possible can, slamming the door etc. I do nothing. So, then I come here to rant.

    I'm not suffering either. I get pissed at her daily, yes. But I'm a very happy person.

    And yes, I do want to know the opinions of the people here. If I disagree I am not going to just sit there and pretend like I do agree. That's just how I am.

    I'm dealing with this all just fine anyway. I just came here to rant. I never talk about this anywhere. Besides mentioning it to my friends like once a month when it gets out of hand.