Rather to never have been loved, than gotten a taste of it

Discussion in 'Fan Poetry' started by waterchiq713, May 27, 2006.

  1. waterchiq713

    waterchiq713 New Member

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    HI everybody who wants to read this. :) Well anyways, whoever reads this, if ou give me any feedback will be great :) I've had rough time, and I'm writing more poems, but if any \one could do me a favor that'll be great :) Like picture if your girl/guy gave you this, how would you react? Is all that I ask:) Thank you soooo much for your time :)
    Love always :) ,
    Devin

    Closing my eyes
    Thinking about the so called "lies"
    Still, my tummy getting butterflies
    Thinking about you *blush*
    And woundering if what we had was true
    Trying not to cry nightly
    Reading your poems over and over
    Still wishing you were my shoulder
    I just don't understand, still
    Of why you did it, it judt kills
    You said that this is a once in a lifetime thing
    Yes I knew your history and everything
    And I still love you more than anything
    Mark, *deep breath, and sqeezes your hand* sexy, think of how you are
    When you are with me
    I love you sooooo deeply
    When I'm with you, I KNOW I wouldn't get hurt
    You say you are afraid, and end up in the dirt
    But the thing is sugar-boy, my guy
    Remember, you jump, I jump, now that's NOT a lie
    And I still believe that soooo much
    I love you a bunch! *kisses your cheek*
    Ok, now I know the point to this letter
    Thinking about Titanic, before Jack got her
    You know the part
    Where he was expressing his heart
    Telling her the truth, of how things will be
    How one day the flame between them will leave
    And that is the thing I'm scared of
    Still believing this is destany, just cuz
    For reasons like how I get butterflies
    And I still don't think about the lies
    Knowing it was all from your heart
    That's what I love about you, feeling we would never be apart
    Now that we are, and my flame still burns for you
    *blush* and it feels that you still have it too
    I just hope you know what you're doing
    Because I'm not going anywhere, I'm not moving
    But of all honesty
    I know girls would drop you, just hearing about your history
    They wouldn't even give you a chance that you deserve
    They have some nerve
    Really *tear tear* I felt sooo great
    *puts head down* but now its all over, and all I can do is wait
    Wait for you to see if you still want that flame
    Or for me to just put it out now, and try not to give a dame
    Mark, I do understand that you have Uni
    I know what you are going through, I have school too, honey:p
    But I guess I should stop explaining myself
    You've seen the movie and compared it with ourselves
    Knowing how it could be
    And maybe one day if you want to that is, I'll be waiting for THE
    Mark Drury, the guy I feel in love with and can't stop
    And I don't want to, whether you like it or not
    Just know that I'm a different girl
    Crazy only for you, your lil squirrel:p
    But if you at any time think about this
    I'm waiting for you, until the flame burns out, *runs my fingers over your lips*
    Just think about it, because thinking about Titanic, I just smile
    Still having hope, that in awhile
    *kisses your cheek* I never thought you could or would hurt me
    Honestly, you are a different person when you want to be
    Even if you don't notice, you are still and will always be my night in shinning armor
    I love you Mark Drury forever and ever *hugs you tightly*
     
  2. forgotten_soul

    forgotten_soul Harry Potter Lover

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    aww that was so beautiful. i absoulutely love it! you write poetry? I love to write poetry i'll post some of mine as soon as i get a chance.
     
  3. Zanven

    Zanven Cult Classic Connoisseur

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    No... she..(or he).. doesn't write poetry..she didn't post that....:rolleyes:

    Anyway, I enjoyed your poetry, you seem to have a distinct mastery over the English language, but for future reference, not all poetry has to be 1/2 or A/B style. (First two lines ryhme, third and fourth, ect.)

    = )
     
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2006
  4. DazaRulz

    DazaRulz The Aussie Soccer Team

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    I liked, vut seeing that i'm a guy, it seemed a bit mushy for my taste, but it was.....sweet.
     
  5. Wing Rider

    Wing Rider Psychotic Cybernetica

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    Yep, pretty mushy, but amazing nonetheless. I'd be pretty impressed if my girlfriend gave me that.
     
  6. Zidane

    Zidane Master Thief

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    Good lord it's been to long since I've been back. Anyways enough of that crap, that was written very well, except for the Titanic part. Sorry I am just nto a fan of that movie.
     
  7. BBallForLife

    BBallForLife New Member

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    Pretty good. I'd like to see more.
     
  8. BBallForLife

    BBallForLife New Member

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    What I mean is I would like to see more poetry from you because you are a good poet. More poems not more to this one.
     
  9. Zanven

    Zanven Cult Classic Connoisseur

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    Ok, you asked for feedback, so consider this just a bit of construvtive criticism, the poem was great, but it could do without the actions **tear tear** ect.

    But, as its seems you posted the poem, then left the communtiy, I don't guess you'll ever see our reactiosn to it...why do we keep posting here anyway? ; )
     
  10. Wing Rider

    Wing Rider Psychotic Cybernetica

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    To increase our post count?...I don't know.
     
  11. Zanven

    Zanven Cult Classic Connoisseur

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    lol, then lets continue to tell him / her what a great poem it is ; )
     
  12. Wing Rider

    Wing Rider Psychotic Cybernetica

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    All right then :)
    This is a very, very good poem and that's all I can think of to say right now! (quickly, somebody else say something else!!!!)
     
  13. waterchiq713

    waterchiq713 New Member

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    haha awww shuddup :p I thanked you personally :p
     
  14. Wing Rider

    Wing Rider Psychotic Cybernetica

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    Oh well, can't say I didn't try :p
     
  15. waterchiq713

    waterchiq713 New Member

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    yeah yeah :p haha :p how are you :p ?
     
  16. Wing Rider

    Wing Rider Psychotic Cybernetica

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    I'm good, and I did reply :p
    How are you?
     
  17. waterchiq713

    waterchiq713 New Member

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    haha :p no you didn't I would have replied by now :p haha :p :D but no no :p cmon details details :p
     
  18. Wing Rider

    Wing Rider Psychotic Cybernetica

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    Well maybe my email didn't get through after all :p my school's blocked my email, so that might be a bit difficult.
     
  19. waterchiq713

    waterchiq713 New Member

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    haha :p well :p......... maybe a lil bit :p but hey! Q :p do you have a british accent, I think you said you were from britain, or england:p haha :p just woundering :p and hey!:p look at this :p :draught: haha :p I think that is funny :p
     
  20. Wing Rider

    Wing Rider Psychotic Cybernetica

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    Yes, very funny.
    Well, if I am from Britain, it might be that I speak British, thus I might have a British accent *duh* haha :p