Puns-Rated PG

Discussion in 'Joke Board' started by Harrison, Apr 26, 2004.

  1. Harrison

    Harrison The Best Beatle

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    A baby seal walks into a club.

    Got any puns?
     
  2. Jessehk

    Jessehk The introverted

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    a man walks into a bar....ow!!!
     
  3. Harrison

    Harrison The Best Beatle

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    In the desert there is a village that believes if you shave you will be punished by the gods. Their leader named Benny decides to throw all that off and shave. As the last hair falls to the ground he is turned into a vase. Thus goes the saying, a Benny shaved is a Benny urned.
     
  4. Jessehk

    Jessehk The introverted

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    lol ::D :D :D
     
  5. Dystopia Eternal

    Dystopia Eternal The Windbringer

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    hmm..this is more of a play on words. i made it up last night.

    So, the Monkey attacked Iraq, did he? Well, I suppose he's pissed that the Guerillas fought back.
     
  6. Harrison

    Harrison The Best Beatle

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    Two eskimos are in a kayak and get cold. They decide to try to build a fire in the kayak. As is burns it burns a hole right through the bottom of the kayak and they sink and die. Thus goes the saying, you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
     
  7. pinkflyingwalruses

    pinkflyingwalruses Beatnik

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    What's a smart persons favorite nut? Academia nut, mehahaha.

    Two carrots were walking down the street, one of them got ran over. They took him to the hospital and when the mother carrot got there she asked if he was going to to be okay and the doctor replied, "Yes, but I'm afraid he is going to be a vegetable the rest of his life." emehehehehmememeheheh.
     
  8. olivia_the_lamb

    olivia_the_lamb Moderator Staff Member

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    2 guys walk into a bar.. the other one ducks... HAHAHHA! lol
     
  9. javelin98

    javelin98 does anyone read these?

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    Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail, and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

    I entered ten puns in a contest, and I thought I would win, but unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

    This is a story of twin Siamese kittens, or more specifically, of their shared appendage; it is a tail of two kitties.

    A bear walked into a bar and says, "I'll have a beer......and some of those peanuts." The bartender says, "Why the big pause?"

    With thanks to www.funny2.com.
     
  10. Kronk

    Kronk Riiiigghhttt...........

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    Three Tomatoes are walking across the desert, which one is the cowboy?


    none of them...there all redskins!

    hahahahahhaahahahah!!!!!
     
  11. Harrison

    Harrison The Best Beatle

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    I man is on a hunting expedition in Africa. He just can't seem to catch anything so he goes and has a pint to drown his sorrows. As he's finishing another man runs into the camp and is screaming about people finding a big group of lions that is cornered. The man sees his chance. He goes out there with a big machine gun and mows the lions down. After he does this he goes back to the camp to have a celebratory beer. Thus goes the saying, the shortest distance between two pints is a straift lion.

    Ha ha ha ho ho ho hee hee.
     
  12. AcrobaticHippo

    AcrobaticHippo Determined

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    Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case