Premarital sexual relations

Discussion in 'Every Day Debating' started by Tinuviel, Dec 15, 2004.

  1. Tinuviel

    Tinuviel New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2003
    Messages:
    1,517
    Likes Received:
    31
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Ohio
    Ratings:
    +31 / 0 / -0
    Well, isn't this an age old topic. Throughout the ages and cultures, opinions and social acceptance of this has varied. Question is, what do you think of it? Is it wrong, immoral, acceptable, preferred, no big deal, neccessary, etc. What is/was your plans regarding premarital sex? What defines sex? Intercourse alone? Oral? Other? Let's seperate this into two catergories: under and over 18.
     
  2. Arwen

    Arwen Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2003
    Messages:
    5,450
    Likes Received:
    45
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Long Island, NY
    Ratings:
    +45 / 0 / -0
    Here's my opinion in a nutshell: As long as you are responsible and take the necessary precautions its ok. Personally I think intercourse should wait until after you're 18...but I'm not one to judge. God knows a lot of 18 year olds aren't mature either.
     
  3. curunir's bane

    curunir's bane Kwisatch Haderach

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2004
    Messages:
    2,253
    Likes Received:
    14
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Location:
    baton rouge
    Ratings:
    +14 / 0 / -0
    don't know why but the first thing that popped into my mind when i saw this thread was Bill Clinton.
     
  4. Zidane

    Zidane Master Thief

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2004
    Messages:
    459
    Likes Received:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Wherever the palace guards can't find me.
    Ratings:
    +5 / 0 / -0
    As long as you love the person and are prpared for the consiquences nothings wrong with it my opinion.
     
  5. Mububban

    Mububban Administrator Staff Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2003
    Messages:
    4,705
    Likes Received:
    144
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    West Australia
    Ratings:
    +186 / 1 / -0
    It's a reality that will never go away. That's the facts of the situation.

    As for my opinion - I think it's a normal part of growing up. My friends experienced intercourse for the first time between ages 14 and 21. So that answers the under and over 18 part of the question for me :)
    Living in a modern western country, it was something we all looked forward to, and although the first few times may have been awkward, it's all part of growing up. Even at the time most of us thought my friend who had sex at 14 was too young, but of course we all then wanted to know all about it.

    I personally don't understand how young kids nowadays don't see oral sex as being as intimate as intercourse, or even kissing. To me they're on a par. In for a penny, in for a pound. It's all part of the same thing in my eyes. If I'm willing to do one, then I'm willing to do all. I've onyl ever been with partners I respected and has relationships with, which means I want to do everything possible to be a good lover for them.

    In this day and age, women aren't forced to keep their virginity if they don't want to. It's all a part of being seen as equals to men and not subservient and just there for the pleasure of men. If someone wants to keep their virginity until marriage, good onya. But I'm glad we don't live in a time when sex was a taboo that was never discussed. Although I'm not such a fan of the over-sexualising of pop culture and the effect it's having on young kids either. Gees, I'm only 25 and I sound like an old fart :)

    And with my Moderator's hat on - please nobody turn this into another abortion thread, okay? Let's stay on topic.
     
  6. Dark Lord Sauron

    Dark Lord Sauron Lord of Middle Earth

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2003
    Messages:
    361
    Likes Received:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Location:
    Michigan
    Ratings:
    +5 / 0 / -0
    Well, you see, there is a little consequence of sex. It is called children. That is, after all, the purpose of sex. In my opinion, you should only have sexual intercourse when you are married and financially able to have children. That way, you do not needlessly murder innocent children. Of course that will never happen because many people in the world seem to enjoy behaving much like rabbits.
     
  7. Jessehk

    Jessehk The introverted

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2003
    Messages:
    3,448
    Likes Received:
    24
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Ontario , Canada
    Ratings:
    +24 / 0 / -0
    please don't ruin this thread by bringing up different issues. If you want to discuss abortion, go to the abortion debate thread.
     
  8. Urambo Tauro

    Urambo Tauro Art House Member

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2003
    Messages:
    455
    Likes Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Banks of the Gonduin
    Ratings:
    +3 / 0 / -0
    Sex is special. Marriage keeps it that way.
     
  9. Skyanide

    Skyanide The Big Meanie Staff Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2003
    Messages:
    7,025
    Likes Received:
    76
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Canada
    Ratings:
    +77 / 0 / -0
    Yes, sex is special when you're married....usually you only get it on special occasions....:p hehe

    j/k Honey...
     
  10. Elan Morin Tedronai

    Elan Morin Tedronai The Forsaken

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2004
    Messages:
    7,747
    Likes Received:
    47
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Sydney
    Ratings:
    +47 / 0 / -0
    Personally, i believe that if you truly do love someone, and you have talked about it and both feel comfortable with it, then its fine. With the whole "What defines sex issue," id say that intercourse is what defines sex, but oral is just as intimate, and should only be done to someone you love, is comfortable with it, and witht he proper precautions.

    Ofcourse, everyone has different opinions, and families, cultures and religions all have thier own influence, so it truly is up to the individual couple. I would in no way condemn someone for having premarital sex, but i would look down on it if they just randomly "hooked-up" for one night and had sex with some stranger for the fun of it. Its called "making love" for a reason, and thats because thats exactly what it is. If your truly in love with the person, its right, and normal.
     
  11. AcrobaticHippo

    AcrobaticHippo Determined

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2003
    Messages:
    4,727
    Likes Received:
    43
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    In Turtleopia, training Elan's turtles :P
    Ratings:
    +43 / 0 / -0
    Wow, I'm impressed! Guys like you have sense which is remarkable in these times! You're my type! (j/k, j/k) :D

    On a more serious note, I agree with Dark Lord Sauron on his views. Sex should never be taken lightly, whether or not the person is over/under 18. Like Arwen said, there're many people over 18 who are still immature. Sex before marriage is also a very, very risky decision. If you think you love the guy/girl and after sex s/he dumps you how would you feel? Sex is special to me and it's a sign of bonding. Besides, if a girl does not give her body to guy till they marry, the guy respects her more and regards her a person who retains her dignity.

    I'd be happiest if laws barring premarital sex were imposed, but that's wishful thinking...:(
     
  12. Celestial Wanderer

    Celestial Wanderer searching for peace...

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2004
    Messages:
    322
    Likes Received:
    9
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Singapore
    Ratings:
    +9 / 0 / -0
    << Smiles>>>...
     
  13. Skyanide

    Skyanide The Big Meanie Staff Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2003
    Messages:
    7,025
    Likes Received:
    76
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Canada
    Ratings:
    +77 / 0 / -0
    Maybe you two should get together and abstain.

    Sex is special to you? You draw from what experience?

    A law against premarital sex? You've got a better chance of banning BREATHING.

    Well, at least I got my laugh for the day.
     
  14. curunir's bane

    curunir's bane Kwisatch Haderach

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2004
    Messages:
    2,253
    Likes Received:
    14
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Location:
    baton rouge
    Ratings:
    +14 / 0 / -0
    I really don't think that people should ban premarital sex. What would be the reason? There really would be no good reason at all. See, we are not only talking about adolescents haveing sex but we are also talking about sex outside of any marriage. That means you could be as old as 60 and not being married and have sex and that would still be pre-marital sex. That's why banning it would just be stupid. If a person is going to have sex with someone else then they should be able to as long as it isn't statutory activity (if there is such a phrase). Some can easily say that sex is no more than just an act for reproduction so they go off and have one night stands. But where would the crime be in this act? Why should it be banned? There really isn't a logical explanation for banning pre-marital sex. And the hell are people going to catch pre-marital sex anyway? Like Sky said "you've got a better chance of banning breathing." You can at least tell when someone is breathing.

    Anyway, I want to put in my view of sex on here. I think, for me, that I would want to only have sex with someone that I am at least somewhat commited to. This is just my view for me and I think that people have different views so I wouldn't judge them for their's. If someone wants to have a one night stand with someone that's fine. I wouldn't condemn them. And my whole view about wanting to be at least somewhat commited to someone is not really a religious belief at all. It's more of the fact that I don't want to end up being the father of a kid who's mother I slept with once and don't even care about her. For me, I wouldn't take that risk. I would want to have sex with someone that I care more about and am commited to.
     
  15. Elan Morin Tedronai

    Elan Morin Tedronai The Forsaken

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2004
    Messages:
    7,747
    Likes Received:
    47
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Sydney
    Ratings:
    +47 / 0 / -0
    Who told you that ? If I had sex with a girl before marriage because we were in love, id totally respect her, and if she wanted to wait til after marriage, then id respect her exactly the same.

    Probably alot better than if you got married, had sex, and then s/he divorced you. Divorce happens to 50% of marriages these days, so thats hardly a valid point.
     
  16. AcrobaticHippo

    AcrobaticHippo Determined

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2003
    Messages:
    4,727
    Likes Received:
    43
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    In Turtleopia, training Elan's turtles :P
    Ratings:
    +43 / 0 / -0
    Sheesh. I'm not commenting on that one, I'd rather keep my mouth shut.


    Alot better? Well, that's ridiculous.

    Are you saying that it's better to have sex before marriage than within it?

    Skyanide-You compare breathing to sex, eh? Well, that's a sign of addiction!

    curunir's bane-There're alot of things wrong with premarital sex, what if you married a lady in future and when you have sex with her you realise she isn't a virgin and she confesses "Oh, sorry, darling, I went and had sex with all my lovers before I met and married you, and I might have passed some STDs to you, will you forgive me, dear?"

    Would you want to marry a girl like that?
     
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2004
  17. Elan Morin Tedronai

    Elan Morin Tedronai The Forsaken

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2004
    Messages:
    7,747
    Likes Received:
    47
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Sydney
    Ratings:
    +47 / 0 / -0
    Well, id rather be dumped by a girlfriend than divorced by a wife who spoke vows of staying with me forever.

    No, im saying both are fine. You seem to think that getting married makes a relationship perfect. The only difference between someone you totally love and are commited too and someone your married too is a shiny piece of gold on your finger.

    And if you are speaking from a Christian perspective, Im sure God cares more about the love you have for each other, than the ring you wear on your finger.
     
  18. Tamzen

    Tamzen New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2004
    Messages:
    372
    Likes Received:
    9
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    California
    Ratings:
    +9 / 0 / -0
    Sometimes Sex, premarital or not, is just fun exercise. Nothing wrong with that, IMHO
     
  19. AcrobaticHippo

    AcrobaticHippo Determined

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2003
    Messages:
    4,727
    Likes Received:
    43
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    In Turtleopia, training Elan's turtles :P
    Ratings:
    +43 / 0 / -0
    What do you think is the purpose of marriage, then? Why do you think some people choose to marry instead of remaining single? People marry when they're really committed to each other. The divorces you're talking about come from mainly people not having children. Marriage is a sign of people agreeing to bond themselves to the other.

    (If religion interferes, then they could always elope, but I'm not saying that's a good thing...:D)
     
  20. Elan Morin Tedronai

    Elan Morin Tedronai The Forsaken

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2004
    Messages:
    7,747
    Likes Received:
    47
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Sydney
    Ratings:
    +47 / 0 / -0
    So, those people who are in a long relationship with someone - say 5 or 6 years, and who plan to get married don't love each other as much as a couple who have been together 2 years and are married ?