Pick up lines Rated R - of course

Discussion in 'Joke Board' started by Turin, Dec 6, 2003.

  1. Turin

    Turin Valar Morghulis

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    I was just thinking of a friend I used to have that had the strangest lines for picking up women. Sadly enough they seemed to frequently work. A testimate to the caliber of women he dated. :D

    Here's one: I just shit my pants, can I get into yours?
     
  2. Nienor

    Nienor Administrator Staff Member

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    I'm guessing your friend is still single....... :rolleyes:
     
  3. Radagast

    Radagast Art House Member

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    Screw me if I'm wrong, but is your name Bob?

    (Nienor might recognize that one from another forum.)
     
  4. Skyanide

    Skyanide The Big Meanie Staff Member

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    "Hi, can I buy you a drink?"

    Usually works for me...:p
     
  5. byzantine warrior

    byzantine warrior Autokratos Konstantinou

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    My friend Taki usually asks "Hey babe so whats your bra size" obvisually he lives with his mom and hes 35:D
     
  6. Crusader

    Crusader Disturber of the Peace

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    hehehe, i love the "Screw me if im wrong" one, I have to try that
     
  7. Skyanide

    Skyanide The Big Meanie Staff Member

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    ...and yet another man is destined to live in his parent's basement until 25.....;)

    hehe
     
  8. Turin

    Turin Valar Morghulis

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    She might remember it from the night she met her husband. :D j/k
     
  9. Turin

    Turin Valar Morghulis

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    Do you wash your clothes in windex? 'cuz I can see myself it your pants!
     
  10. olivia_the_lamb

    olivia_the_lamb Moderator Staff Member

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    ooo I know that one.. some guy said that to me once and I dint know what it meant *i was like 13 at the time* lol
     
  11. Winterine

    Winterine Ranger-Bard

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    Turin - *lol*

    Radagast - I recognise that one too ;) :D
     
  12. Radagast

    Radagast Art House Member

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    lol, Yeah. Btw, my line is supposed to 'poifect', if any of you members can remember that speech from Fanspot days...
     
  13. Turin

    Turin Valar Morghulis

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    I'm getting too old to remember things that far back :D
     
  14. Radagast

    Radagast Art House Member

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    haha. Well in some aspects, it wouldn't be bad if you forgot.
     
  15. Crusader

    Crusader Disturber of the Peace

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    heres one i heard the other day:

    "If i said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"
     
  16. olivia_the_lamb

    olivia_the_lamb Moderator Staff Member

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    lolol

    where did you hear that?
     
  17. Crusader

    Crusader Disturber of the Peace

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    "Peter Kay's Pheonix night's"

    One of the funniest things ive ever seen on TV.
     
  18. Winterine

    Winterine Ranger-Bard

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    That one's good. Heh. *c*
     
  19. Cheesy Goodness

    Cheesy Goodness The Fighters Guide House Member

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    not to be offensive, but this is rated R right?

    (not really a pick up line, but some cruel jokes)

    whats the diffrenct between pussy and parsley?

    A: no body eats parsely


    Do you work for UPS, cuz i coulda sworn i saw you checkin out my package!
    hehe...thats a good un

    LEt's do some math...add my bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs, and lets start multiplying

    Guy: so you commin home with me tonight?
    Girl: what?
    Guy: are you commin home with me tonight?
    Girl:...no...
    Guy: eat ur own pussy then!!

    ugh...now i feel dirty
     
  20. jake1964

    jake1964 Old enough to be your dad

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    I think 'The Bellamy Brothers' beat you to that one by about 25 years or so.