Online vs Real Life

Discussion in 'Every Day Debating' started by S.J. Faerlind, Sep 23, 2012.

  1. wanderingmagus

    wanderingmagus King Anakin's Royal Advisor, Constantly Around :D

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    I am... hmm. I am in many ways similar, and in many ways different. Not quite as bouncy and cheerful as I might be in spam, not quite as heated as in debates. And it depends highly on who I speak to as well.
     
  2. Mububban

    Mububban Administrator Staff Member

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    Aw shucks :D We do try.

    I try and act the same everywhere ie nice and polite, respectful etc but online I think we're all a bit freer to go that little bit further. I love exchanging ideas with people so an online forum is perfect for that.

    As for my avatar - it's me playing combat archery. I like it because it's a photo of me, doing something I love, but it's also anonymous. Which of course is totally counteracted by posting photos of myself in other threads lol :D
     
  3. JIM

    JIM zombie Turncoat

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    yup, i'm an ass here, an ass irl.

    that is all
     
  4. S.J. Faerlind

    S.J. Faerlind Flashlight Shadowhunter

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    I think one of the things that online communities have going for them is that they almost take age out of the picture. Maybe others would disagree with me here but everybody at TFF seems to interact with each other regardless of how old they are IRL and that's pretty neat. There always seems to be a generation gap when I'm standing face to face with someone on the street. For example, even if I know teenagers (who might be the kids of friends or something), they rarely would stop to say more than two words to me and it would definitely be awkward to have a prolonged conversation with them. That just doesn't seem to be the case online where people of all ages just hang out and chat. It's really nice to see that people of different ages can have a common interest and form friendships because of it.
     
  5. Emelie

    Emelie Queen of darkness

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    I totally agree on this S.J. And i love it! I mean, thats the beauty of it. As you say, its really hard to close that gap IRL. I have one classmate that ive been able to do that with. He could as well be my father, but we have a great time together. But other than that, its super hard!
     
  6. Heaven's Cloud

    Heaven's Cloud Well-Known Member

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    :halo: I'm a wallflower irl. Just try getting me to dance, and I wouldn't talk to half the women irl that I do online. I didn't mean that to come out the way it sounds.
    It's easy to enter into a conversation with other guys. But it can be an ordeal just greeting a lady. I can remember passing a woman on my way
    to the bank once. All I said was "Hi" She didn't just pass me like nothing happened. No, she walked passed and began laughing like I was Jim Carry or something.
    I'm not saying all ladies would do this sort of thing, but it sure didn't do much for my confidence. On an online forum, we're all here to discuss things we have in
    common. So I don't think most of the ladies we have here would laugh unless I said something genuinely funny. :devilspin


    My avatar is me doing a George Washington one dollar bill impression. (I'm certain everyone here could tell. Right?) Everyone I know agrees that it is the best pic of me. I have yet to meet everyone on here, yet, so I'd
    probably be pretty reserved if I met most of you irl, and I don't drink, so it would probably take me a long time to loosen up. But for those of you who have been getting to know me, I'd be pretty much the same as I am here.
    Kind, crazy, and I'd dress a little funny.
     
  7. Taliesyn

    Taliesyn It's a feral reality out there, kids.

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    Quoted for truth. That is one of the things that I'm beginning to appreciate about this forum. TFF is radical and totally tubular! That's me talking in outdated hipster talk. Or something.
     
  8. S.J. Faerlind

    S.J. Faerlind Flashlight Shadowhunter

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    Awww... shy guy! I don't think you're the only one who would be a little reserved IRL.
     
  9. Firiath

    Firiath Halfling barbarian

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    I think I can just agree with most of the others: I'm rather shy IRL, and I don't talk as much as I do online, only with good friends. I'm rather socially awkward and sometimes can't even speak to strangers when I'm drunk. >_>
     
  10. Sorcha

    Sorcha Moderator Staff Member

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    My avatar is Kaylee from Firefly cuz she's always so happy and optimistic, and smarter than people give her credit for.

    This is me as well. Although I feel like it's easier with some cliques than others, so I would say those are most representative of my personality. It used to be easier for me online but that's not really the case anymore. I think a lot more before I speak online. In real life, I just talk...a lot. I think I'm probably funnier offline for that reason. :)

    It has to do with membership too...I don't think the people at TFF get offended as quickly or as easily as other sites I've modded at. The volume of reports here is pretty small, and usually for advertisers.
     
  11. Heaven's Cloud

    Heaven's Cloud Well-Known Member

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    I'm here with a lot of like-minded people. Probably why I've accumulated so many posts so fast.
    I'm not usually a prolific poster on most forums, but my shy peeps here are jus da coolest.
     
  12. olivia_the_lamb

    olivia_the_lamb Moderator Staff Member

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    I wouldn't! I'd recognize you in a heartbeat from seeing your picture when we used to chat on MSN :)

    No, my online personality is a mirror image of my real life personality. People on this forum have seen the worst and the best of me, just like all the people who stick around long enough to endure through the tough times with me... real life and internet life people. I'm just as crazy off line as I am online :)

    I picked my avatar because Majora's Mask is my favourite Zelda game... and I edited it to make it look baller.

    I think the majority would recognize me. I've been plastering my picture on this site (and the previous ones it was before it became TFF) for almost 11 years. I'd recognize most too. I think a lot of us would act different at first, but then we'd get comfortable, especially if the meet-up was a few days long.
     
    Last edited: Oct 4, 2012
  13. Overread

    Overread Wolfing it up! Staff Member

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    I would say a big part of TFF is that the community here is small enough that its easy for most people to get a better handle on each other. You "see" and meet each other around the site a lot more so most of us get to know each other as a person long before any dispute arises. As such and because the community here welcomes and knits together well when arguments and differences of opinion spark up its the members who are more willing to pause (well ok sometimes a mod has to pause things) - reflect and accept each other.

    A lot of other sites I see most of the arguments and real problems occur when you get people who don't really know each other that well having differences of opinion and they get into a heated fight because neither side, at a most basic level, respects the other or knows the other. So even when they are paused it tends to just simmer rather than cool off.





    As for the me here and the me off the net. Eh I like to think that I'm generally the same person most of the time that I am here. Possibly, like many here, more shy and less open in public and in person than I am here. I suspect its a factor that draws us all to a community like this and even to the interest in fantasy (ok book reading ;)) which might well unify us as being a more - ahh - select group as to who we let in close to our lives.

    As such I think a place like TFF is great; we can all let our hair down and let our thoughts out a little more - most of us also getting a chance to actually think before we open our mouths (or in this case put fingers to keyboard).








    Oh and my ava is *checks* a WOLF!
    Ok is Kiba from Wolf's Rain (anime - go check it out!!). Though I've generally stuck with a wolf -- dunno if there's any great meaning behind that but tis a wolf! Though my other alter ego is husky(wolf...) with a hat - which kind of shows a part of myself - the hat! (the hat my sister hats because -- yes I do wear it all the time when out and about -- I think it gives her social worries when in the highstreet ;))
     
  14. S.J. Faerlind

    S.J. Faerlind Flashlight Shadowhunter

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    :)

    I think this comment makes a lot of sense. It's nice to belong to a smaller forum because you do get to know people here and that definitely encourages acceptance of differences.

    I think for myself, my basic personality is the same online and IRL but I definitely do better in a smaller group IRL. Around a lot of people I tend to sit quietly and observe unless I get into a one-on-one conversation with somebody. If I don't have anything in common with the people around me, things can get darn awkward for starting up and maintaining a conversation. I hate that!

    My avatar was an image I drew because I thought it would be neat to try and incorporate a hidden image inside another one. I guess I just wanted to see if I could draw it successfully. I honestly didn't originally design it to be my online "face" ('cause I use it everywhere, not just here). I guess I decided to use it because dragons are classic fantasy. The dragon represents my love of fantasy and the hidden face is me personally.
     
  15. Taliesyn

    Taliesyn It's a feral reality out there, kids.

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    Wow. I've only just noticed the hidden face in your avatar, S.J. Take it from a fellow artist when I say, "That is so motherflippin' COOL!" :-D
     
  16. Heaven's Cloud

    Heaven's Cloud Well-Known Member

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    You and I are a lot alike. I used to work with my dad in my younger days. I had to sit next to him in a van for 11 hours a day. Uhgggg! He hated it that I never spoke to him, and sometimes berated me for that :(.
    But other than sitting next to each other all day, we had nothing in common. So yeah, it's an awkward situation at best.

    You drew your avatar? That's amazing work. I think the color contrast really works out well for the design. I did see the face inside almost instantly, but I thought you were using one of those images you can find on Google. Impressive. Most impressive.
    We have a lot of artists on TFF now, I think. I envy you all your abilities, because I couldn't draw a stick figure to save my life.

    I already told Ephemeral how much I liked his avy, and I'd still like to see his web comic :D
     
  17. Sparrow

    Sparrow Well-Known Member

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    As life goes on you will find out you had far more in common with your dad than you'd ever believed.

    I suspect the reason you didn't talk to your dad very often wasn't because you lacked something to talk about, but more likely was because you were trying to hurt him.
     
  18. S.J. Faerlind

    S.J. Faerlind Flashlight Shadowhunter

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    Thanks guys, I'm glad you like the avatar.

    I can't speak for Heaven's Cloud Sparrow but some people just aren't talkative. For example, my husband and I lived with his dad for about 3 months when we were saving money to buy our house and his dad is just not a talkative person at all. Since we had little in common I always had trouble getting into a conversation with him and that should have been extremely awkward. Since both of us were the same (as in we both hated to force ourselves into conversation), we actually understood each other's silence so we rarely tried to chat. I swear that was the most comfortable silence I've ever been around... with another quiet type in the same room. We'd say good morning, he'd read his paper and I'd have my breakfast in silence and we were all good with it. Odd? Maybe.... but it worked. I think the problems come when people have different expectations. Chatty/more outgoing people don't always seem to understand quiet people. I think that's why quiet people get labelled as "snobs" a lot, even when they really don't mean to be.
     
  19. Sparrow

    Sparrow Well-Known Member

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    For me it's not really about whether a person is more outgoing or if they tend to be shy... it's if they have anything to say that's worth saying. I mean really, why would the father of your husband not want to talk with his family... to me, that says there's a serious problem with the whole dynamic, far more serious than someone who simply isn't "talkative".


    Everybody is insecure to some degree, that's part of life, but I find that some people use silence as a way to manipulate others.
     
  20. Heaven's Cloud

    Heaven's Cloud Well-Known Member

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    Ever since I was in the first grade, at every single school I went to until I graduated, I was the silent one. I was never teased about it, because no one ever had reason to tease me (well, almost no one. Some people made reasons, but they were few and far between) People generally liked me. When I graduated, and found jobs, my second boss (my father was my first boss) commented that I was the most silent person he'd ever worked with. After people got to know me better, some of them realized that I was probably the most observant person they'd ever worked with. Needless to say, I couldn't have something against all of them.

    But I think you're right about something. It has a lot to do with having something worth saying, and that can change depending on how much you have in common with the other person. I have plenty to say to my best friends, but not much to say to my dad. I'm probably older than most people think I am, but I don't think I'll ever have much in common with him. We're totally different personalities. He talks a lot, and has ever since I've known him. He can be loud in regular everyday conversation, and I'm reserved more like my mother. Needless to say, I have little desire to be around a lot of racket :) I've never been a vindictive person, I have a quick temper, but I don't hold a grudge. It wasn't because I wanted to hurt my dad, it was because we didn't have the same interests.