Observing the Observances: how important is it?

Discussion in 'Every Day Debating' started by S.J. Faerlind, Feb 14, 2013.

  1. S.J. Faerlind

    S.J. Faerlind Flashlight Shadowhunter

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    Since it's Valentine's day I thought this might be an interesting debate topic. How important do you feel it is to celebrate things like birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine's day etc in a relationship? Do you get all bent out of shape if your loved ones forget or feel guilty if you do? Maybe you feel like these things are unnecessary or are only an excuse for retailers to make extra money? On the other hand, maybe these observances might mean a lot to you? I think the different perspectives of the sexes and people from all over the world might be interesting here.
     
  2. Stormborn

    Stormborn Well-Known Member

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    I never celebrates anything seriously. Soo it will be interesting to hear what others think.
     
  3. Turambar

    Turambar Harebrained Staff Member

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    Nice one, SJ!

    To be honest, I don't come from a tradition of observing traditions. I couldn't really care about birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, the lot. The only holidays I do observe are christmas and new year's eve. I consider the rest to be a good reason to meet up with friends (which, when you think about it, shouldn't really need a reason). What's left is commercial crap. Like valentine's. I have a personal reason not to like the known incarnation of it, but that is besides the point :)
     
  4. S.J. Faerlind

    S.J. Faerlind Flashlight Shadowhunter

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    I'd say I'm middle of the road on this issue. I like to acknowledge the minor observances (like Valentine's Day) for my immediate family with some small token (Kinder eggs FTW!!!!!) but I generally don't like to go overboard. I do go middle of the road nuts at Christmas and slightly less nuts for the kids birthdays, but then the rest of the year is pretty dead for getting extra stuff. My personal feeling is that approach keeps those observances special. :)

    Neither my hubby or I are into going all out for our anniversary or anything and neither of us gets bent out of shape if the other forgets. Usually both of us do and then we laugh about it later.
     
  5. Overread

    Overread Wolfing it up! Staff Member

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    I think that which ones you choose to and choose not to follow depends greatly upon both of those in a relationship. Most will come to an agreement of which ones they do and don't follow, if indeed they choose to follow any at all. In the end we all like gifts and we all also like go give to those most important to us.

    It's also a mark of respect beyond the immediate to remember important things such as these events, it shows that you're not just thinking of you and the now. If you promise to keep to one of them then you should keep to that promise.


    I don't think any relationship should revolve around them, indeed I'd argue that if a relationship focuses around these events then chances are its one that will be fast on the rocks and falling apart (or at best just about managing to tick over without falling apart). Also I think that these events shouldn't be the only excuse to show affection toward those you love - they are a good catch all when everyone does it and you join in because that is what social creatures do - but in the gaps between there is ample opportunities to do small and big things for your loved ones.
     
  6. Lord Yuan

    Lord Yuan Death-Thousand+

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    Counting down to special days is a great way to remind yourself of your own mortality. On top of that you could get stuck just waiting for the next big day to happen and then you get stuck in a loop where everything becomes tolerable as long as you can hold out to the weekend, or your birthday, or the holidays. To me some of these observances really slow down people to the point where they never will do anything great in their life because they keep meeting catharsis on a holly jolly day off. That and many of them promote rampant waste and frivolous consumerism over trivialities.

    Sure they can be nice in the moment, if if you look at anything outside of them it is incredibly bleak and hard to find comforts elsewhere.
     
  7. Kelmourne

    Kelmourne The Savage Hippy

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    If I had a girlfriend I'd make her breakfast in bed (pancake style) and spend the day with her. Spending $20 on over-priced chocolates, flowers, and/or Hallmark Cards seems like a waste.
     
  8. Taliesyn

    Taliesyn It's a feral reality out there, kids.

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    I pretty much take SJ's stance on this one. The only thing that matters to me about observing this stuff (when I bother to) is as an excuse to get together with family and what few friends I may have at the time. Having said that, I think I should always be making excuses to hang out with them - not just on so called "special" days.
     
  9. Sparrow

    Sparrow Well-Known Member

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    I think you should observe special occasions in all your relationships. It's a way to keep connected to people around you, to mark the passing of time.
     
  10. Heaven's Cloud

    Heaven's Cloud Active Member

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    Valentines day in 2012 was the first holiday I ever celebrated. I had a great time, but not long after that She Who Shall Not Be Named displayed real devious tendencies.
    I didn't celebrate another holiday until this past Christmas, which was awesome, and inspired me to keep celebrating holidays. I didn't get to do it as a kid, so I always
    felt weird and left out. By the time I was an adult, there was really no one to celebrate with until recently. So far I'm enjoying it a lot. I consider yesterday pretty cool cause I got to
    hang out with you all ;)
     
  11. JNK

    JNK King of tards

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    I think it is important... and even if it isn't it's still nice :) celebrating stuff is fun!
     
  12. Dreamscaper

    Dreamscaper Royal Hamster Wrangler

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    It all seems like a waste to me, birthdays are nice, but valentines day doesn't make any sense in its current form. I love you more than normal today because some guy was martyred on this day hundreds of years ago?
     
  13. anonymous

    anonymous the king

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    I feel like most of the "holidays" are made into commercial ones, the birthdays are ok with me, but the rest is just for the sake of history - I hate xmas, it is so commerciliazed, that the core (for most parts) is the gifts, not the holiday it self.

    I really feel like, that people have these holidays to give/recieve gifts, and have happines, but should we give gifts/love/happines because we want to, not because we HAVE to?