Nerdanel's LotR Poetry

Discussion in 'Fan Poetry' started by Nerdanel, Jan 10, 2004.

  1. Nerdanel

    Nerdanel [...The Wise...]

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    I specialise in silly LotR based poems.
    I have two so far. :) They're meant to be cheesy and contrived...I promise. :)

    Gollum was a lonely thing
    Of fish and Precious he would sing
    Until one day his luck would sway
    When Bilbo Baggins came to play.

    He stole Gollum's precious ring
    Then threatened him with mean ol' Sting
    When Gollum cried and begged it back
    Bilbo slapped him and attacked!

    Then Coward Bilbo ran away
    Gollum had to save the day!
    He searched for Bilbo all the night
    And then he lead him to the light.

    And nassty Bilbo leapt and ran
    In Gollum he would find no fan.
    Forever after Gollum searched
    In forest, dale, oak and birch.

    Until one dark and fateful day
    That Gollum went too far astray
    Captured by the evil Lord
    He gave up Baggins with two words!

    And suddenly poor Gollum had
    Company and all of it bad!!
    Instead of one there now were nine!
    He hoped The Precious he would find.

    But alas to poor Gollum's fate
    The nine rode forth from that black gate
    And soon took over Gollum's quest
    And did much better what he did best.

    They made their way towards Shire-land
    With horses under and swords in hand
    And when they found that sorry lot
    They gave chase, pursued them hot.

    As Frodo and his friends got free
    Gollum plotted his own spree.
    He'd hound that hobbit night and day
    Until at last he lost his way.

    And then, there, in deep of night
    He'd kill him, take Ring, and his flight.
    And when the dawn would rise next morn
    There'd lie Frodo, Sam forlorn.

    And with his Precious back in hand
    Gollum would hatch a nasstier plan
    On lost, fat hobbit he'd sneak unseen
    Throttle him, strangle him, til he turned green.

    And with those tricksy hobbitsses dead
    Gollum at last could go to bed.
    He'd find a cold, wet, fishsome hole
    Beneath a mountain, dark, and cold.

    And in the night he'd make his home
    And hide the ring for time unknown.
    And there he'd dwell where all light left us,
    And never again be without Precious.
     
  2. Nerdanel

    Nerdanel [...The Wise...]

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    More LotR poetry by ME!

    Aaaand....a second one, about Elves. :) (And yes, I know Isildur lost the ring and he was a man...but the Elves may as well have.)


    Tall and stately
    Like a pole
    Stood those crazy elves of old
    Against all evil did they rail
    Day in day out to no avail

    Until one day they got the news
    That Sauron had a ring to use
    They thought it wise to kill and maim
    Poor Sauron with their army lame

    And so they stole his precious ring
    Just to lose the silly thing
    If I were asked I would've said
    Ignore the demon and go to bed

    He may be evil but you're just dumb
    To go right out and lose The One
    You might as well have let it be
    Even if you'd not be free

    For what is freedom anyway?
    If all you elves just sail away?
     
  3. Hawkbat

    Hawkbat Master of Doom

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    Hehehe those are funny. Nice

    Lord_Hawkbat
     
  4. asap

    asap New Member

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    Very nice.

    Especially loved the ending of the second one: ''He may be evil but you're just dumb,
    To go right out and lose The One''... Lovely :D
     
  5. dwarf tosser

    dwarf tosser "What the Deuce?"

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    my sig wrote it couple months back. nothing to fancy though.
     
  6. Nerdanel

    Nerdanel [...The Wise...]

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    :dragon: :balrog: :devilbat:


    *feels in the mood for evil emoticons*

    Thanks everyone!!

    I like your siggie, DT! :D
     
  7. dwarf tosser

    dwarf tosser "What the Deuce?"

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    Thank you, it's been a month and im still reading you're first poem.

    -dt
     
  8. Nerdanel

    Nerdanel [...The Wise...]

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    Why are you still reading it? :) Hehe.
     
  9. celebrimor

    celebrimor Elven Jewel-smith

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    they both were grewat, but i loved the first with gollum better. IT was very smart for you to to "hobittesses" and other ones like that.