My story...or at least part of it.

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by HaldirofLorien, Oct 14, 2004.

  1. HaldirofLorien

    HaldirofLorien Member

    Jan 16, 2004
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    Umm this is a chapter of a story that ive started writing.....this chapter is right near the end of the story and is not a complete chapter in its self but I thought i'd post it on here for some people to read and give me some feed back - I KNOW MY SPELLING AND PUNCTUATION IS AWFUL SO NO COMMENTS ON THAT PLEASE!!! Other than that - I hope you enjoy reading this small snippit.

    Nivlac looked at the colossal mass of Crows gathered upon the other side of the valley and decided to put the shield wall into action . He raised his right arm with the plam of his hand held out infront of him. To his right The Deputy Head Guardian gave the command.
    “Sheild wall advance and take postion!”
    The three hundred men , all armoured with thick heavy armour and carrying long spears and shields about as tall as themselves began jogging to form the wall of metal.
    The came to a short sharp stop about two hundred meters infront of the rest of the guardians and planted their shields into the earth forming what looked like a solid wall of metal with no gaps to the front.
    From his position in the middle of his army Gavaldian watched through his helmet.
    He raised his sword and then thrust the blade forward into the air.
    The first wave of crow warriors began to move forward.
    They started off walking then began to jog , before reverting to running at full pelt towards the shield wall.
    However , much to the crows and even Gavaldians surprise the shield wall suddenly split as each guardian making up the shield turned to the side. This unexpected move brought the running crows to a stop. They stood there watching as between in each of the gaps in the wall appeared another Guardian carrying a bow fitted with an arrow.
    “Fire!” Came the cry , and hundreds of precisely aimed arrows were let loose.
    Within seconds , hundreds of crows lay dead on the battle field and the ones in that first wave that hadn’t been pierced by a flying missile pulled out shoddily made crossbows and returned fire. This return of fire was useless , as the shield wall formed once more to let the bolts that actually made it to the guardian line bounced harmlessly off the thick shields.
    The crows took up the charge again.
    The shield wall parted and once again hundreds of arrows were sent flying from the guardian bows into the ranks of the crows.
    Behind the shield wall the command was given for the archers to return back to main bulk of the army.
    “ Archers return!” came the cry and each of the archers turned and drew their sword before running back to join the ranks they came from.
    The crows were only meters away from the shield wall and heading in at full speed.
    Nivlac watched helplessly as they impacted onto the wall and smiled as he saw his men act in the way they had been trained .
    The men of the shield wall allowed it to give way a little before quickly and solidly reforming. This “ little giving” however did not stop many of the crows knocking themselves out stone cold as the collided with solid metal.
    It didn’t take long though , for the shear numbers of the crows to start braking through the wall. Guardian spears began to be put into action, thrusting and stabbing at any crow foolish enough to get to close, and shields were starting to be used as singles rather than as a one solid mass , being smashed into the faces of the enemy , shattering skulls faces into bloody messes.
    Gritting his teeth he watched as the men of shield wall fell to ground. Not because they had been killed, but because they were trained to fall flat on the battlefield after the shield barrier had been breached and lie there. They wore armour thicker and heavier than even the Dragon Princes wear and dieing from exhaustion was a hundred times more likely a possibility if they carried on fighting for too long. Nivlac knew that not one of them was dead. The armour they wore had no weaknesses and couldn’t be penetrated at point blank range by an Elvanian crossbow let alone a sword. They were all alive, they were just resting , and waiting for the time when their energy had returned and they could commit to battle once more.
    Taking a deep breath Nivlac drew his sword. It was time to fight the fight.
    He raised the sword high above his head. Seeing this, the commanders of all the legions did the same,and were followed in turn by their men , until every Guardian in the army had their weapon raised high above their head , the bright afternoon sun reflecting of the sharp metal edges of the expertly crafted weapons. The advancing crows stopped again at the spectacle of ten thousand weapons raised in the air.
    The charge began.
    Nivlac started the charge and was followed seconds later by his elite guard and then the rest of the army.
    The noise was deafening as armour clanked and steel boots thudded on the firm earth of the grassy valley.
    Fifty crows lay dead by Nivlac’s blade with in a minute as the Head Guardian unleashed a lightning fast and deadly combination of blows upon his enemies. Nivlac and his elite guard ( like most of the army’s regiments) fought in loose formation to allow each soldier the freedom to manoeuvre his weapon without having the worry of hitting another guardian. And fight the guardians did. Like heroes.
    Children from all the lands had heard stories about how well the Guardians of the Glade Lands fought. Never in their wildest dreams could they imagine just how well each of them fought that day.
    Swordsmen parried , chopped , thrust , cut their way through crow after crow . Axe men twirled their axes turning them from the clumsy heavy weapon used by most fighters into dancing blades of death.
    The crows that were first to meet the Guardians own mace wielders met their deaths from having the bones in their bodies turned into powder by the swinging balls of solid metal.
    Ayegra lead his Fire Guard straight for the main bulk of enemies. He let loose with some fire balls killing several crows before he had even swung his blade. His eyes flamed as he met the enemy in hand to hand combat and his sword , the blade of which was made from fire stone shone with a raging fire.
    The other three wizards were no less efficient , leading their men into the very heart of the enemy ranks , using what magic they could to the maximum effect..

    Gavaldian soon got bored of watching and decided to join the battle himself. He waded amongst his own troops straight towards the Guardians and soon met a regiment of swordsmen.
    Nivlac’s noble warriors threw themselves at the Crow Lord without a single hesitation attacking the seven foot tall giant with their blades. Gavaldian , however was ten times quicker then any Guardian had anticipated and several of the first guardians to attack fell dead after being hacked to death by his massive blade. The rest of the guardians in that regiment quickly decided to try and retreat and hopefully meet with another regiment. Gavaldian had other ideas and began a quick and ruthless slaughter. He grabbed one guardian by the back of the neck before he could begin to retreat and hurled him effortlessly into his comrades knocking several of them over. Taking huge strides Gavaldian made it over the fallen soldiers and mercilessly began hacking , chopping and thrusting with his sword. In under a minute five noble guardians lay dead upon the green grass of the valley their armour bent and broken , and their bodies barely recognisable as the proud men they once were.

    On the other side of the battlefield Razzaras the water wizard and his elite guard weren’t doing well. He had lost almost half of his elite guard and the crows just kept coming in unrelenting numbers.
    Seeing a particularly large crow running straight towards him Razzaras focused his power and conjured up enough water in the earth infront of the charging crow to turn it into a slippy area of mud. He aloowed himself a brief smile as the crow lost his balance and fell flat on his back to be quickly finished off by a near by guardian.
    Razzaras’s eyes went wide as he saw a crow sword whistle straight towards his neck. He closed his eyes and focused.
    The crow stared in amazement as his sword passed straight through the wizards neck . The wizard had turned his entire body into water. The crow was so shocked that it didn’t even register the wizards body turn back to solid flesh and his sword come flying in for a killing blow at the crows head. Razzaras smiled again , but his moment of triumph however was short lived as he felt a sudden bolt of agony in his back and cried out as he looked down and saw the blade of a sword sticking through his stomach. The blade was withdrawn quickly and Razzaras felt one more flash of pain before his vision clouded and his lifeless body slumped to the ground.

    The other wizards though were doing a little better. Madore and Whisper , earth and air, had met on the field and their elite guards were now fighting as one with both of the wizards using their power in everyway they could. Whisper had transformed into a small tornado and was careering round knocking down his enemies and letting his guard kill them off before they could get back up. Madore however was taking a more direct approach. He (like Razzaras) had transformed his body , only instead of water, Madores flesh was now solid stone. He didn’t need to worry about being stabbed or cut , he was happily stepping into the thickest parts of the fighting and letting the foolish crows reign blow upon blow upon him only to have the stubborn wizard shrug them off and end up killing every crow around him , either by his sword or by a stone fist knocking them out stone cold.

    Ayegra laughed out loud as another of Gavaldians soldiers fell to his blade. He and his elite guard were fighting well and despite several close shaves , Ayegra was unhurt and still cutting down the enemy without mercy. If it wasn’t for the many banishment wizards gavaldian had working for him Ayegra was sure he could have killed half of the crow army with a large fire tornado. But such as it was , even if he didn’t have powerful magic working against any large acts of power , in the back of his mind he doubted whether or not he would be able to concentrate long and hard enough to produce a tornado of fire without being stabbed in the back.

    However, to every guardian in the army, the fact that this fight was futile was impossible to miss.
    No matter how many crows the wizards killed or how many Nivlac, or any of the guardians for matter cut down, they just kept on coming and their seemed no end to them.
    Nivlac, finished off another crow with a vicious jab to the stomach with the Dragon Claw Glove and breathed heavily. He was tired, the battle had gone on for nearly three hours and Guardian numbers were severely depleted. It was at this moment that he spotted Gavaldian on the field, not too far away from him.
    “Its now or never” Nivlac muttered to himself and signalled to his troop to carry on and leave him.
    He began making his way towards the Crow Lord and got halfway before Gavaldian saw him coming and began to make his way towards the Head Guardian throwing aside anyone who got in his way , be they crow or guardian.

    From a distance Ayegra noticed Nivlac making a beeline for Gavaldian.
    “Good luck to you Nivvy” he muttered before turning back to his fight.

    Gavaldian and Nivlac met. Seven foot tall Gavaldian looked down at Nivlac who stared through his helmet unblinking.
    Nivlac then slowly held his blade out infront of him and watched carefully as Gavaldian did the same. They stood there for what seemed like ages , before Nivlac struck.
    He made a lightning fast upward thrust at Gavaldians face. The strike was batted away with one hand and the fight began.
  2. Princess Celebmirril

    Princess Celebmirril PRINCESS

    Nov 26, 2003
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    Sounds good except I don't really know the background of the story so who people are was confusing but over all sounds good.