my first story

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Talin, Mar 13, 2007.

  1. Talin

    Talin New Member

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    im no writer or jounalist some guy who likes to read alot. after all the books ive read it was only a matter of time before i came up with my own story. my grammer and punctuation isn't that great so bare with me. tithis is the first chapter that i have so far and im already working on the second im only posting the first one foe now so i can get opions. please be honest with ur opions and let me how the flow and anything else is like with my story. i want as much feed back as possible.i know its a little long for a posting but lease be patient to take the time to read. hope u all enjoy it.



    Magi


    The Beginning

    In a small village in a land of magic lived a quiet family of farmers were nothing exciting ever happened to them. There lived in the farmer’s house the farmer and his wife and they had two children, who worked hard alongside the farmer everyday to help support their families needs. Everyday the children would help their father, the farmer, with the crops to be grown and traded at the market with other materials to support the family. Never wanting his children to be leave his side and wonder the outside of his village he never told them about what goes on in the outside world. He would insure his children safety by telling them the dangers of outlanders and what troubles they bring to those who seek it.

    The farmer was a stout man and slightly beefy from always lifting hay bails and farming equipment. He has big brown eyes and bushy eyebrows that nearly cover his forehead. He is also kind and very wise and thus his children respected him for that. They never talked back about his ways and always did the right thing when they were told to. The family lived on the edge of the village high on a hill that looked down on the land around his farm. His wife was a fair a maiden as ever to be seen. She had curly blond hair down to her shoulders dash full blue eyes and always a smile on her face. As with her children, she respected the farmer for his wisdom and never questioned his judgment. She always support and loves him dearly. The children looked exactly like the farmer. The older child who was becoming the age of a man was just as stout as the farmer but a little taller and had a handsome young face with short blond hair and brown eyes and bared the same bushy eyebrows as his father, he was called Enedill, or Ened for short. The younger child was shorter but still growing. He wasn’t as stout as his father or brother. In fact he was small. So small that his older brother would always bug him about his size and be lifting him over his shoulders like a pillow. He always hated his small figure and wished he could be big like his older brother. The younger son had the same blue eyes as his mother but brown hair like his father. His name was Galengalahion, or Galen for short.

    Every year at the first sign of spring when the long winter was over the farmer would take his two sons and begin preparing his crop to sell at the market when harvest time came around. The farmer was well known for his cropping skills and anybody who traded with the farmer’s goods knew they were getting quality crop. Nobody knew what his secret was but his crop always turned out perfectly every year. That also made it difficult for the neighboring farmers. There were three farmers in the village that supported the people in the village. The two other farmers loathed the farmer and his sons because of the quality crop he produced every year, one Farmer became was a rancher and the other was a breeder. The reason for the farmer’s good crop was because of the area he lived on. The earth is plenty fertile, which made it simple to grow crop. But that was not the farmer’s secret at all. For the land at the bottom of the village was just as fertile as the land at the top where the farmer was. No one knew why the farmer and his son’s crops was always the best. It just always was that way. But that was about to change.

    The village was situated on a northern part of the continent, not to far north but within good traveling distance to the nearest major city. It is on a major adventurer route so many strange folk would always be passing by for a stay at the local inn or to shop for items in the local market. Strangers weren’t uncommon to the people of the small village, but the people never liked outlanders all that much. The people were humble and always kept to themselves. They barded for things when needed and never let excitement come to their peaceful village. The village was called Oakwood, for it has many abundant oak trees to all sides of the village. Thick forests to the north and south make it difficult to get into the village without the farmers knowing. The only entrances is through the east and west gates. In the daytime the gates are open to travelers and adventurers. At night the gates are locked and no one may enter or leave for safety of the night. Any who chooses to leave through the forest are never heard of again. There are no fences boarding the forest. It is said that great evil lurks in the dark shadows of the forest. Cries of horror eco through the night at times of adventurers straying to close the borders of the trees and are never heard of again. Thus the villagers never go near the confines of there own home, thus they leave the forest alone the forest leaves them alone.

    As spring neared the village the farmer and his two sons began working their usual hours at the farm. They would wake up at sunrise and eat breakfast together. The wife would do the cooking and tiding. The house they lived was a small oak wood house. Fit with a fireplace to keep warm in the winter, two separate rooms for the sons, one room for the farmer and his wife and a kitchen and sitting area where the family would gather after working hours. In the mornings the farmer would wake up first followed by his wife. He would take off his robes and put on his coveralls. Then he would wear his big flabby rubber boots. His wife would go to the kitchen and prepare breakfast for the family. Breakfast was the usual eggs and bread and milk. Followed by a helping of the farmer’s famous potatoes that he would grow every year as part of his crop. Once breakfast was simmering by the wood stove, the sons would awake shortly after through the aroma of a gourmet feast being cooked. There was nothing like a hardy breakfast to start the day. But this day was a bit different from other days. The farmer, who would begin his regular routine, noticed some things a foot on his land. He noticed that the weather was a bit off as well as a feeling in the wind, but he then shrugged it off as if it were nothing. After breakfast the farmer would begin preparing the horses in his barn for turning the dirt over on his acreage of land.

    The barn was located just behind the house and was much larger then the house. It was 30 feet long and 20 feet wide. It was capable of holding three horses and the farmer’s equipment he needed to farm his land. When he begins the first day of work he would first check his seedlings every spring before planting, which he ordered from agronomist in the village. They would be located on a crate by staircase to the loft on his right. He found to that there was in fact no seedling in their usual place in the barn. There were no sacks of parsley, which the farmer grew as part of his crop and no sacks of wheat seeds. There were no sacks of sunflower and no sacks of corn. The farmer found this to be very odd. He figured that the seeds were probably late this year for it has happened before. The seedling didn’t come till a week after spring. So the farmer continued his regular routine.
    Weeks later whilst the farmer was working on his land with his sons he noticed that still there were no seedlings. Now this started to get him irritated. He paused his work and called for his son Galen.

    “GALEN M’ BOY,” yelled the farmer, waving his burly arm to his younger son who was sitting on an old oak tree in the middle of the field that he was plowing.

    “COMING FATHER,” Galen yelled back. He climbed down the tree in a jiffy and was at his fathers side in no time at all “You need my help Father, am I old enough to use the horses now?” he said with a smile on his face.

    “Not quit yet Galen, still two seasons left when you’re as old as Ened you will have your turn to help out on the farm lad.” He said patting the plowing machine attached to the horse.

    “But I’ve waited so long I’ve see you and Ened work the horses so many times I know how to use the plow father.” Said Galen

    “That may be son but you do not poses the strength to control the horse and the plow just yet. Wait until you get bigger then you will be able to use the plow. I’m sure ol’ Dodger the horse here will guide you just as he guides me, besides your speed for planting is what I your help more these since I am becoming older and I’m not as fast as I used to be.”
    “Alright father,” said Galen with a sigh.
    “But I have a more important matter for u to attend that requires your speed and wits son. I want you all ears for this so pay close attention ok Galen.” Said the farmer eyeing his down.
    “Yes father what do ask of me?” said Galen with a smile on his face.
    “Run down to Anthony the Agronomist and find out why the seedlings have not yet made their way to the farm alright, this very important that you do this for me son.”
    “Yes sir, I can do that for u sir!” he said acting like a soldier would to his captain. And with that he speed off like a hound heading towards the village square.
    “AND DON’T WONDER AROUND WHILE YOUR THERE….” Yelled the farmer while his son was already a half a mile away. That will keep the lad busy, always looking for excitement he is. Don’t know where he gets it. Thought the farmer to him.
    As Galen ran down to the town square he noticed a large crowed gathering at water fountain in the village center. He also noticed on his way to the village center, a couple of shops have begun to board up and others starting to get boarded up. Galen thought this to be odd that the shops he saw were being boarded up. The shops are an important part of the village. By barding with each other at the market everyone is able to makes ends meat for each other, Galen knew this well. As he got to the center, the crowd got bigger.
    Because Galen was smaller then his father and brother he was able to zip through the crowd like a monkey on the trees. He passed by many people he knew and visited with everyday, the baker Mr. Bentley, McGregor the herbologist, Ms Pennington, and the blacksmith and many others. In the center of the village next to the well is the village’s posted sign; anything of great importance to the people of Oakwood that needs to be informed to them gets posted there. As Galen got closer he was able to read what was on the sign and knew why everyone was gathering at the center of town. This is what the sign read:
    Due to a break in the treaty of rights between the neighboring kingdoms, The Kingdom of the West, and the Kingdom of the East, there will be no more trading between both kingdoms. Thus the trade routes have been closed. This is by the decree of the King of the East.
    That night at the farmer’s house there was a terrible vibe in the air. The tension in the house felt uneasy and Galen knew why.
    “But with the trade routes closed off to our village how will we be able to produce our crop?” said Astal the farmer’s wife with a worried look on her face.
    “I know Astal, I know. But all we can do for now is continue with the crop we have that is left. It isn’t much but it will last us for this season.” said the farmer
    “But what about next season we cannot survive on just planting potatoes. There just not a big profit with potatoes these days.” Said Astal
    “It’ll be enough to survive on until this whole mess with the treaty can be repaired.”
    “And how long do you suppose that could be? We may have to move if we don’t make enough to sell at the market.”
    “We cannot let that happen my dear, this farm has been in our family for generations and ill be damned to lose to some silly dispute between to kingdoms”
    “Then what do u suggest we do husband?”
    “We can wait and see what happens, it is the best thing to do at this moment we, can’t do anything else.”
    “I suppose we will let Magi decide what our course of actions shall then. The best thing we can do while we wait is pray to her for guidance.”
    “Right you are wife, right you are.”
    After the farmer and his wife had their discussion about the situation with the farm, they turned down the lamps in farmhouse and went to bed.
    As the days went by it became evident that the village of Oakwood was in terrible distress. More shops closed throughout the weeks. With the trade route being closed it was difficult for shop owners to receive items for bartering. Galen, who made his usually runs into the village from his hilltop home, also noticed that disaster that was becoming of his small village.
    Galen made his way into town through his usual path, crossing straight his father’s fields and coming up behind the shops on the north side of town. He had to go over a little bit of the other farmer’s fields, but they never notice anyway. He would always come in between the butchers shop and the carpet seller shop. Both shops where situated on the northwestern side of the village. It was the best way to come into town for nobody would notice him through the bustling market place. He would always sneak in because he had an interest in the stories heard by the adventurers that would travel into town. Usually his brother and mother to aid in the trading would accompany him and then he would sneak off his own in search of an adventure of his own and whenever he returned he would get a licking for sneaking off and worrying his mother. That is why he would on his own time sneak into town and since the farmer was well known if he was caught he would sure get a licking. But it didn’t matter if he got noticed or not this year. This season was not as busy and there were few people coming into the village to barter. One day while he was in town he over heard some men of the village talking about a plan of engagement. The men that were talking were just outside the in on the other side of where Galen was. He didn’t creep up or made a notion to spy on them like he would when the market was busy with traders. He just paced himself slowly over in they’re direction very casual like. Just as he got closer to there position the one man made a motion to head back into the inn.
    The inn itself was in fact the biggest structure to be built in the village. It stretched over thirty feet in length and was three stories high. Its structure was designed however like every other shop in the village. It had rectangular construction for the surface of the building, with a dome like roof. The windows were of a circular fashion for the rooms on the upper floors and square on the main floor. The entrance was situated on the eastern side facing the street of the market. There was a canopy like deck, build in the entrance way made of wood. The building was made out of a special concrete material. As were the rest of the shops in down. In fact most of the other shops in the village look very much alike to the inn for construction with a few difference in design from the shop owners.
    Galen made his way up to inn so he could get a closer view of the situation with the men. He knew well that children were not allowed into the inn due to drinking laws of the adults, but that did not stop him from sneaking his way in to get closer. It wasn’t difficult for Galen to get into the inn, for he done it many times before. He would always sneak into the inn to hear the tales of the traders that would come into town for the festival of the market. The way he would sneak is this; he would go around the back through an open window that always remained open, he never knew why but it was the easiest way for him to get in. Although the window was very high for to get to, there always seemed to be something for him to stand on when came around the corner from the eastern side of the inn. So he did his usual thing and snuck in from the back. This lead him the pantry, where he would forge for some scraps when food was low at the farmhouse. Then he had to find his way around all the tables and storage areas where the chefs would prepare the food for visitors. The pantry had one large table in the middle of the room, and then tables around the walls of the room. This made it simple for Galen to sneak about in for he would hide under the tables when nobody was looking and make his way to the door on the other side of the room, which he did. Once at the exit he had to make it out with out being seen. He had to time this very precisely. On the other side of the door was the bar where visitor’s would drink and eat after there journeys and make reservations for rooms. The bar was right by the door so Galen had to find a good hiding spot so he would out of the way and be able eavesdrop on the men. Luckily for Galen the men sat right at the bar and Galen knew of a good hiding spot right under the bar where he could hear all of them and not been seen. He made his way to hiding spot and waited for the men to sit down. The hiding spot consisted of a cabinet that the innkeeper hardly used and was big enough for Galen to crouch in with his small body. It was bit cramped for him since the last time he used it, only because he had grown a little since then.
    As he got himself ready to listen in to the men the conversation he heard made him feel uneasy.
    “ Are we sure of this plan then? Sending one of our own to investigate the problem of the trade routes?” said one of the men who voice Galen recognized immediately. It was the Black Smith, Sir Durloth. No one knew why he was called sir, because to have the title sir meant u were a knight, which he wasn’t. Just something everyone called him by.
    “But do we really have any other choice? We have no other knowledge of what is going in the neighboring lands!” said another voice that Galen recognized as the Baker.
    “We have never sent any of our people outside the village walls before and we know nothing of the dangers that lurk outside our village, only rumors and stories from the outlanders that visit.”
    “Orin is right, none of posses the skills required proceed with such a task, not to mention so few of know how to defend ourselves in the heat of battle.” Said a third voice known as the Rancher Mr. Belethando who would argue constantly with Galen’s Father about how the land he’s farming should belong to the Belethando’s and not Galen’s father. And it would be the same argument whenever the festival came and it was time for trading.
    “But we still need to know when the trade routes can be re-open again! Our village is depended on the routes and it is what keeps us alive. We haven’t any information since the posting in the town center.” Said the fourth voice Larne the bookkeeper.
    The conversation between the four continued as such for some time, deciding whether or they should send someone to investigate the problem with the trade routes being closed. The innkeeper came in with some ale for the gentlemen and entered into the discussion.
    “Why not have a caravan go to the kingdom and then that way while there are a bunch of us there we can pick up supplies for the village and find out what is going on with the trades routes?” He said.
    “And who would take on that nonsense idea mmm? There aren’t a lot of us willing to venture outside the village most of us are too old to partake in such perilous journey anyway.” Said Orin
    “We’ll have to do something! We just can’t sit back and let our village become a ghost town.” Said Larne
    At that moment all the men fell silent as though they were stuck in a deep trance. In fact the men were so fussed about this dilemma they pondered the thought for what seemed to be forever. Finally one of them spoke. It was Sir Durloth; he broke the silence with a sigh of procrastination.
    “I’m afraid I haven’t completely honest you my good friends.” Said Durloth
    “What do you mean Sir Durloth?” Asked Orin
    “Although I am the oldest in the village there is something I never informed you of when we first met those many years ago.” Said Durloth
    “We all know you are the most honest man in the village next to or fames farmer what secret do you hold that we do not know about of you? Everyone knows everything about you here in the village there isn’t a soul who does not know who you are.” Said Larne
    “Well haven’t you ever wondered why I am referred as Sir?” Everyone just looked quizzically at Durloth when he asked the question. “It is because I am really a knight.”
    More silence fell as soon as he finished his sentence. Everyone mouths dropped and then followed by laughter.
    “That’s what we thought to Sir Durloth, hahaha, a real knight right under noses this whole time. That’s a good one even with your old age hahaha!” Said Mr. Belethando.
    Then Sir Durloth pulled out of his pocket from under his leather apron a medallion. The medallion was encircled with a gold rim, followed by a sapphire tint in the center of it. Etched in the center was two swords hitting each other as two knights were fighting in a battle frozen for all time.
    “Indeed you truly are a knight, but then that means you must have fought in the great battle of Kizmed?” Said Mr. Belethando.
    “Yes I have, but we can discuss that another time. For now we need to know what is happening with our trade routes situation.” Said Sir Durloth
    “So who will go to the kingdom and which one to ride to?” Asked Orin.
    “Well since it was the King of the East who posted the noticed of the trades routes being I suggest we head west which is the most likely hood of the problem.” Said Sir Durloth.
    “Ok so we have a plan to ride west. But who will go then?” Asked Larne
    “I am originally from the west,” Said sir Durloth “ so I will lead the way, but with my old age I am afraid I will need some young hands to help carry the luggage.” He said with a chuckle.
    “Why not have one of the younger lads aid you on this journey? I know Mr. Roughwind the butcher, his son is always eager to leave on a perilous journey.” Said Orin
    “Excellent then let us prepare immediately. We will leave as soon as we have word from Mr. Roughwind and his son.” Said Sir Durloth
    Galen knew that he would be a great asset in this adventure with his great speed, but he also knew his father would never allow him to go. As the men left the inn, Galen quietly snuck out and headed back to the farmhouse with the though of adventure on his mind. Somehow he must convince his father to let him tag along on this journey. He figured that riding west wouldn’t be such a hard journey, after all most people who come from the kingdom of the west travel to Galen’s village anyway or make it there from the trade routes.
    The journey to get to the village from the kingdom is a ten-week journey at most no matter how fast your horse is and another week to get back. The road twists and turns throughout the forest and is dangerous to travel at night because of the evil in the forest. Once past the forest though, the road turns into open grasslands of wheat fields and mountain ranges. There is a river on the south side of the road after the road of the forest ends. The forest continues for a little longer on the south side of the river, but then ends at the edge of the waterfall several leagues further. Then continues on towards the mountain ranges if the Kingdom of the West, which also acts as the boundaries for the kingdom. Once on the mountain range one could look back at the dark vast forest ad wonder that such a thing of beauty could hold such evil. The oak trees that cover the land and stretch as far as the northern frozen tundra and as far south as the desert beach. Then in the center of it all is Oakwood village. That is the journey Sir Durloth and Mr. Roughwind’s son will be making within the next couple of days.
    When Galen returned to the farmhouse, his dinner was already prepared for him and his family waiting for him to sit down. The news of Sir Durloth and Mr. Roughwind’s son had already reached the farmhouse. The farmer was already in a heated discussion with Ened about how dangerous this journey is that Sir Durloth and Mr. Roughwind’s son is making. As Galen heard this while he ate, he knew there would be no chance of him going with the two men. The journey that the men would was not the only matter at hand that night at the farmhouse. The farmer also gave a shock to his family that would cause a reaction to family so radical Galen’s future would never be the same.
    “As with Sir Durloth and Mr. Roughwinds son leaving, I to and leaving.” Said the farmer.
    Both his wife and son’s looked at him as if he was making a joke, for the farmer has never left the land of Oakwood nor would he ever leave his family. But the worst news was yet to come. Galen found that his father was stricken ill with a sickness. Sadness had hit the little farm of Oakwood and that night there was a feeling of evil creeping over the land as well.
    “How could Magi let this happen to us mother?” Asked to Astal as he was being tucked into bed that night.
    “I do not know little one. We have been good to Magi and we pray to her every night, in hopes of a better tomorrow. I feel however, that Magi has been cursed and that curse is settling upon the lands that she governs.” Said Astal
    “Can we not cure her then mother?” Asked Galen
    “I don’t think this curse can be cured my son. Whatever this curse is, it is affecting the lives of everyone around us.”
    “But then how will father get if Magi cannot save us?”
    “Only time will tell.”
    “Maybe I can help mother. I can go and find a wizard who can cure Magi and save father and the village. Wizards are very powerful beings mother. If I can…”
    “Your place is here Galen by your fathers side where he needs u the most. You know how your father is about any of us leaving the village and it would hurt more if you left as well.”
    “But mother I want to help and I want to see the world. I am fast, Magi gave the gift of speed at my side I could find a wizard in one of the kingdoms and be back before the winter begins.”
    Your place is here Galen and your father would agree with me. Besides the men that are heading to the western Kingdom will bring the supplies we need for father to get to better and no you are not going with them.” Said Astal as she put a finger on Galen’s lips to keep him quiet. “Now get some rest you are going to need for the days to come.”
    Before Astal turned down the lights both she and Galen prayed at his bed side to Magi in hopes that the condition of things would improve and everything will be back to normal. Astal then turned down all the lights in the farmhouse as she always did every night and went to bed with her sick husband. That night the evil had made its way to the village. The land went darker then usual and cries of horror echoed throughout the night. Everything was about to change after that night and Galen knew this well. He was unsure how he knew this but the feeling came with the evil and he had to leave as soon as he could to save his village, to save Magi, to save his family, and to save his father.
    The next day Sir Durloth and Mr. Roughwinds son had started to prepare for the journey west. They rigged up three horses with all the supplies they needed for the ten-week excursion. Sir Durloth had closed his black smith shop until he returned and used whatever weaponry and armament he had left for protection against the evil that lay ahead. He also equipped Mr. Roughwinds son with his own special steel. Sir Durloth was one the villages best for blacksmithing and the only one. Loosing him would be a terrible loss to the village.
    Mr. Roughwinds son was a strong proud man. He had just reached the age of adult and was very popular with the village women of his age. He slim and muscular had long brown hair to his shoulders, a bony face that the women adored and s always a smirk on lips. Indeed Mr. Roughwind was proud of his son who was becoming a good protector of the village. Being the son of butcher came in handy too. For wilding an axe all his life he would now use it as his weapon of choice for journey ahead.
    “Here you go son. The butcher’s Cleaver. It will come in handy when the time is right.” Said Mr. Roughwind as he handed his son his meat cleaver as it sparkled with a shine in the sunlight.
    “But father what will you use for chopping meat?” said his son
    “I have a spare that I can use. Not as efficient as this one but it’ll do just fine.” Father and son embraced each with a hug and Mr. Roughwind’s son then mounted his horse with pride.
    “Are yah ready boy?” Said Sir Durloth. Mr. Roughwinds son nodded with approval to Sir Durloth. “ When we return we shall have supplies for all of you and the answers we need to our troubled times.” Said Sir Durloth to the villagers that were seeing them off.
    “May Magi protect you and far well.” Some of them called back.
    Sir Durloth and Mr. Roughwind’s son waved good-bye as they headed towards the gates of the village. As they neared the gates to the west, the doors slowly swing open creaking on their old hinges as the always did the gatekeeper waiting to see them off.
    “Take care you two and do not let the land discourage you. There is a terrible evil afoot take head and never let your guard down. Take this,” Said the gatekeeper handing Sir Durloth a horn made of oak. “It is the oak horn for when you return. If the evil has not yet been lifted by the time you return blow on it so I may know it you and have the gates open and ready for your return. Once you leave I will shut them for good and no one shall enter or leave with my say so.” Said the gate keeper
    “Thank you my friend, protect our home well.” Said Sir Durloth putting the horn around his neck. And with that they left on their journey towards the west. The doors slowly closing behind and with a load bang remind closed for days to come. Sir Durloth and Mr. Roughwind’s son looking back on the village as the made their first turn around the twisting road, wondering what will happen in the weeks to come.
    It wasn’t no more then a week later that the gatekeeper minding his own business repairing little bits of the gate, was startled by a load sound coming from the road. He quickly went to his little tower above the gate that was high enough to see who was coming from around the bend. At first he couldn’t recognize the sound then it hit him. It the Oakwood horn, the sound resonating off the trees. It had been so long a time he had forgotten what the horn sounded like in its majestically crafted nature. Then the gatekeeper heard the sounds of galloping hoofs that sounded like the rider and the horse we’re fleeing from something. At that moment two men on a horse came whizzing around the first turn of the road in a lightning speed.
    “Open the Gates!” Yelled the gatekeeper.
    The two men he saw were Sir Durloth and Mr. Roughwind’s son and what appeared to be an arrow through Mr. Roughwind’s son chest from what the gatekeeper could tell. The Gates swung open as quickly as they could, making the same squeaking noise they always did when the gates would open.
    “Call the doctor.” Said the gatekeeper to his assistant
    The gatekeeper’s assistant took a horse that was sitting by and hurried off to fetch the village doctor
    “What in name happened Sir Durloth!?” Said the gatekeeper in a concerned tone
    “Bandits,” said Sir Durloth catching his and lowing Mr. Roughwind’s son off the horse “they just came out of no where and attacked us. They too everything we had; wounded Mr. Roughwind’s son badly. It happened just before we approached the grasslands!” Said Sir Durloth.
    “Bandits in the western road, but why?” Said the gatekeeper.
    “I assume it is the works of the trade routes being closed Mr. Gatekeeper, I will be requesting a town meeting tonight and fill everyone in on the details tonight.” Said sir Durloth
    That night in the village centers all the town’s folk gathered at the well on the south side of the center was an auditorium, which where all the meetings were held for matter’s of importance. Three elders hold the meetings and have special sitting places on the stage. The stage itself is a small ten by twenty feet long platform made of oak, stairs on either side, and an oak wood canopy. A tarp covers the canopy from the sun and the rain so the elders do not get heat stroke or wet on bad weather days. The elders consist of three of the village’s oldest men and one old woman. The oldest of the elders goes by the name of Quellehir. He had a long white beard that went down to his waist and his face was very wrinkled. His hair was long a snow white down to his shoulders. He was glad in a white robe with a black belt around his waist, this signified his position as first elder. And he walked with a staff in his hands. The staff, of course was made out of oak. It looked like it was just taking out of the ground and had no marks of hacking or slashing to it. The staff also twisted in an odd fashion the twists begin from the middle and went up as if it was still growing. Only an elder of his ranking could posses the staff. The staff itself is very old and told it holds magical qualities for long life and is a direct link to magi.
    The second elder, named Felco, not as tall as Quellehir but just about. He has the same whit beard as Quellehir, but shorter and just passed his collarbone. He wears a gray robe with a brown belt. He sits on Quellehir’s left side and is second ranking of the elder’s. He has a more tanned face then Quellehir and lesser wrinkles. He’s got big bushy white eyebrows that go over eyes, so when he talks no can see what he eyes is saying. Everyone in the village feels that he is a very deceitful man. The third eldest is the woman. The woman hardly looking as old as she appears still very beautiful for her age like most of the other women in the village. She does have the wrinkles to show for her old age but not as many as the other elders. She ahs thin eyebrows that are black streaked across her brow, almost like they were drawn on her forehead. Her nose was small to the rest of her face and she had the biggest lips u could see. When she would smile you felt lifted and free from all ailments that cursed you. She also seemed to have a touch so soft that you never want to leave her side. To the village she is known as mother. She wears a sky blue robe with an ocean blue belt and his white trims around her sleeve and feet. Finally the last of the eldest is named Nerin. Unlike Quellehir and Felco, Nerin is cleaned shaved. Has a frown on his face at all times and bags under his eyes to indicate his old age. He wears a brown robe and a red belt. He has short white gray hair and he has small eyebrows and big nose. Although he appears to be grumpy all the time he is very friendly especially around the children. The children have come to call him Great Grandpapa.
    As the noise level of the crowd finally died down the elders took their seats on the auditorium and they all sat down simultaneously. Sir Durloth then came up after them, dressed in his usually blacksmithing outfit. He stepped up to the podium to begin his speech.
    “After careful consideration with the elders, we have decided that the gates to east and west of the village shall remain closed. Bandits now control the western side and we have learned that they are now on the eastern side as well. It would be unwise for anyone to leave the village.” Said Sir Durloth as chatter begins to rise again within the crowd. “I know that you all are concerned about supplies for the end of this season but with the way things are now we have no choice but to close the gates to traders and adventurers. That is the final decision. I well now let Quellehir speak.” Sir Durloth finished what he had to say and let Quellehir take the stand.
    Quellehir being so old that he is, made it appear that he had a hard time walking and always leaned on his staff. It took a while to get to the stand be he made it there slowly and surely. When Quellehir spoke, everyone fell silent even the animals. Something in his voice made it calming to listen to, but he also spoke a little slow due to his age.
    “Friends of the village, it is with great malice that I have come to learn, our god the great Magi has fallen ill.” Said Quellehir pausing to catch his breath. “This illness was with no accident for it happened the night that Sir Durloth and Mr. Roughwind’s son left to go on the journey south. The coming of the Magus caused the illness. The great evil of Magus has reached our land and I fear it has already corrupted those of the west. We must take heed and pray to Magi that she gets well to protects us from Magus. Me and the other elders will do what we can to help protect Magi from the Magus as well as the help of the village. Only together can we stop Magus. We the elders of Oakwood will also use our powers to contact the other elders of Magi to aid us in this time of need. That is all.” Said the 1st elder Quellehir
    After he took his seat the crowd did a little chatter and begin to disperse back to their tidings. The elders then stood up and left the auditorium. Quellehir noticed Galen sitting alone in a little alleyway, just sitting there as if he was spying on the crowd and the speech. Elder Mother then noticed him too, and then exchanged a few word with Quellehir, as they looked upon Galen’s noticeable hiding spot. Although Galen saw mother coming towards him, he made no attempt to flee just stared at Mother elder as she came nearer to him. Her walk so graceful it looked as if she was not even walking on the ground and her curves should how gracefully she really was too. When it came to the elders Galen was always shy of being if front of them. He was always shy around the older people in his village. When Mother elder reached Galen she carefully squatted down beside him.
    “You are Galen are you not little one?” Said Mother elder so soothingly “Where is your family? Did the not attend the gathering?”
    Galen shook his head as a response to Mother questions, feeling afraid he might say the wrong thing to upset her, but knowing who she is Galen spoke to her shortly after.
    “My Father is sick, we do not know what is wrong with him. Mother is tending to father and Ened has full responsibility of the farm. They do not know I am here I snuck out.” Said Galen hanging his head in shame expecting to get a slap on the wrist for doing the bad deed.
    “Ened is your older brother am I correct?” Said Mother elder raising Galen’s chin softly with her fingers, “Why do u not help?”
    “I am not of age to control the horses father said so. I do plant the seedlings, however…” Galen paused and looked towards agronomist’s shop as did Mother elder.
    “But there are no seedlings for this year” She said finishing Galen’s words. “Well I suppose u must find other tidings to do with your spare time then.”
    “What do you by other tidings Mother elder?” Asked Galen
    “Well first let me walk home with you it is getting past the hour and it has been a long time since me and your mother have spoken. Magi have requested a special task for and only you.” Said Mother elder getting up and taking Galen’s hand as they started walking towards the farmhouse and Mother elder begin to explain to him about the request that Magi herself has asked of Galen.
    “While we are meditating Galen, We can sometimes see visions or hear voices of Magi. When I was meditating before the gathering tonight I heard Magi speak to me about u.”
    “About me Mother elder? What did she say?”
    “Well I will tell you once we get your house little one. I must speak to your parents on his matter as well, for it concerns them too.”
    At the house Mother elder sat down with Astal and explained to her about the mission that Magi has requested Galen to do. At first Astal seemed uneasy about such a tedious task for Galen. What Magi wanted was for Galen to be the one to leave the village in search of a cure for her illness. On doing this however he must go alone and take no one with him. Magi herself would be protecting while on his journey, but she only do so much in these times of evil. Magi also said he will make friends on his journey and enemies. Astal thought about this request from Magi her husband the farmer walked into the room coughing and sweating, just barely giving enough energy too make his speech to be heard.
    “I had a feeling this time would Astal,” He said carefully sitting down next her. “Our son is indeed special to us but also to Magi. I would’ve happened sooner or later that he would leave. If Magi has requested his assistants then he must abide by it.” Said the farmer
    “But father what about helping you and mother here. Ened is also going to need my help when harvesting comes.” Said Galen with a worried looked on his face
    “Do not worry about me little brother I can handle the farm while you are away on your journey. It is obvious that this is your destiny. Galen, the youngest boy of Oakwood to leave and become an adventurer. It was you’ve always dreamed of. Don’t pass up this opportunity of adventure brother.” Said Ened
    Silence fell in the room and for what seemed like an eternity no one spoke for quit some time.
    “You may consider your request till tomorrow. I will be in the center awaiting your decision. For now I must take my leave.” Mother elder said as she got up and headed towards. Ened followed and opened the door for her to exit.
    That night Galen laid in bed and could sleep at all, for the thoughts of his own adventure was on his mind. He was always very adventurous from the first adventurer he met when he was little. He remembered that day so well. It was the day of the market trade after the harvest. The center was bustling with traders and adventurers from all over. There was so much excitement Galen was all over the town that day trying to here any stories he could of adventure and glory. That is when he met the first adventurer that was so kind to him he wish he run away with her. She appeared to be that of the Amazonian but her complexion was darker and she looked she hasn’t seen the light in the longest of days. She had long brunette hair that blew with the wind, thicker eyebrows then normal women have, and the fairest face ever. She was beautiful for her race of people. But Galen did understand why her skin was so dark. Galen followed her all around town that day just to learn more about who she was and what she was doing in this region. Galen watched her carefully studying how she acted with the people. She didn’t bump into anyone while she walked through the crowd and she would always keep her distance from people too. And when she spoke to one of shopkeeper’s she spoke with an odd sort of tongue, yet the shopkeeper’s knew exactly what she wanted. At the inn, Galen snuck in at his usual place and make way for the barkeep. In the bar he found her sitting alone in the corner of the south side of the bar nearest to the entranceway. The inn was full with customers so it was easy for Galen to sneak about and not get caught. He found a little place to hide in a crevice in the wall near the Amazonian.
    “Don’t think I haven’t been watching you little one.” Said Amazonian sipping her drink of ale. “I noticed you spying on me all day and I think its time you showed yourself otherwise ill acquire the inn keeper.”
    Galen slowly crept out of the hole in the wall and walked towards the Amazonian. Hanging his head attempting not to look into her eyes, fearful of her anger. She looked at him and say how afraid of her he was.
    “Why do u fear me boy? It was you who was following me. Well speak boy,” She said in a solid tone of voice.
    “I was just curious,” said Galen trembling a bit in front of her “I have never saw someone like you before in my village.”
    “Do you what I am boy.” She said testing his knowledge. Galen just shook his head as his reply.
    “Then keep it that way. I do not like to be known around any part. Now leave me be before you get into trouble.” She said sitting back in her chair and sipping her drink. Galen however did not move, he just stood and looked at her.
    “What it is now boy, are you asking for trouble.” She said as began prowling about for the innkeeper.
    “Um well I wanted to a story from you. I like hearing stories from the adventurers that come here.” Said Galen giving her a puppy dogface.
    “Very I have one but you must pay close attention to it. After that you will leave me in peace.” She said to Galen motioning him with her hand to sit down beside.
    As she began to tell her story of her travels and what brought her to Galen’s village, he never once made a peep like she asked of him. He was all ears for her while he sat on his chair, his feet dangling from the height of is chair, for he was a lot smaller then than he is now. But something about this woman gave great interest to stay around and listen to what she had to say that day. She was a little mean to him at first but after a while she did not mind his company and acted as if she was a big sister to him. He stayed with her the entire time she was in the village just listening to her stories. When it was time to for her to leave Galen felt sad.
    “Why are you crying Galen? You know well that I wasn’t staying for long.” She said as they talked by the gates leading east.
    “You are the first grown up who has let me stay listen to your stories ever since I learned about adventurers. I want to join you on your adventure as well.” He said wiping the tears from his eyes. “I don’t want to forget you.”
    “And you won’t Galen of Oakwood. I have a feeling we will meet again sometime in the future. For now I have something for you.” She said as she fished through one of her satchels on her belt. She pulled out what looked like a small turtledove made of what look like ivory brand. “As long as you have this by your side we will remain friends however far apart we are. I also have its brother. When one turtledove remains separate from the other for too long they will eventually come back together. When we are close to each other the turtledoves will glow green. Keep it safe for when we meet again Galen of Oakwood. For now your family needs you the most here. Do not worry I feel your time will come soon.”
    After that she kissed him on the cheek and headed out the eastern gates. She was Galen’s real first friend that day even though she an adult she was closer to him then anyone else in the village. Galen remembered the event over and over in his that night knowing now that what she said back may come true. Whether or not he decided to leave tomorrow would determine his reuniting with his friend. Finally his eyes felt heavy and he began to drift off into a silent slumber, pending on what tomorrow would bring.
    The next morning started out the same as every other morning with a few exceptions. The farmer did not get up before his sons and Astal did not make the usual morning breakfast. Instead she had been busy all morning making something else. Ened had already waked up and began working in the fields. Galen discovered he had slept in a little more then usual for the aroma of breakfast usually wakes him up, but this time it didn’t. Never the less, Galen got dress and went into the kitchen to find his mother baking something new.
    “Mother where is breakfast?” he said with a sleepy face and rubbing his eyes with his fist.
    “Sorry Galen you will have to make your own for today. I am preparing something special for you while you head off on your journey.” She said as she moved back and fourth through the kitchen.
    Galen, being a little confused, did what he was told and made his own breakfast for the first time in his life. He ate his breakfast in silence and alone for the first time in his life. Something about today didn’t seem right. Galen had not yet made his decision about leaving but it seemed his family had already made that decision for him. After breakfast he left his mother to her tidings and went into the village. In the village it was also bustling with excitement. It seemed that the news of Galen’s leave had already hit the village center. All the chatter was about him and his fourth coming of leaving the village. In one area he over heard a group of people discussing how it was Magi who came to him in a dream requested him personally for this journey. By the well, he hid behind it listening to Mr. Roughwind’s son talking to his gang of friends about Galen being the youngest boy to leave and how he understood why he got hit the arrow. He was also saying that the bandits were the as a warning to keep the villages in from harm from the outside. Magi was waiting to choose someone unique for the expedition to the outside. Galen snuck about trying not to be seen by anyone. He then led himself to Sir Durloth’s shop where he not to long caught him.
    “Galen,” Said Sir Durloth looking over his shoulder while he was tempering with a peace of metal. “Come her boy I have something for you I’ve been saving for a special occasion.”
    Galen made his up to Sir Durloth trying not to let anyone else see him. “Yes Sir Durloth?” He said being as quiet as possible.
    Sir Durloth put the peace of metal back on his fire stoker and shuffled around in an old leather knapsack by his table. “This has been with for many years now lad, It has retained it’s shape for centuries.” He said pulling out what look liked a short sword. It was however shorter then a short sword though. “This is the knife that was fought with the crusaders at the battle of kismed lad. It had been around in my family for generation and protected us for generations. However since I am the last line of my family I feel it right to give it to you while you are on your journey. She’s called Swift of the Wind. And I think she would fir you well with your speed.”
    Sir Durloth handed Galen the knife and Galen looked at the knife in awe. This was his first true weapon. It wasn’t a sword, but it felt big enough to be one. He didn’t think to hand it back to Sir Durloth and say no he couldn’t accept it, he just said thank you and stared at the knife. The knife, as he took it out of its sheath, had a long double-edged point. The blade itself looked blue in colour and shined crystal when brought up to the sun. It almost had a transparent look to it as well. The hilt was black and a little big for Galen’s hands to grab, he would have to get used to the size though. He also noticed some ruin markings on the bottom of the blade. Three symbols that looked of ancient times. Galen again thanked Sir Durloth and left to scurry about the rest of his day.
    Throughout the day Galen was meeting people left, right, and center. Offering him goods for his journey to come. The Bookkeeper Larne passed him by and gave a special book of herbs and plants found in the wild to help him on his journey. Larne handed Galen the book wrapped up like a gift and tied with a ribbon. Galen didn’t open it yet. More of the shopkeepers in the village started follow in Sir Durloth’s way in giving Galen something for use full for his Journey. The Carpet seller, Firnhill Deephollow, gave Galen a green blanket for warmth on the cold nights if winter should ever come while he is on his journey. The blanket was a greenish gray colour, that when covered it would conceal Galen in any natural area, hiding him from dangers that may hurt him. The blanket was also very light and comfortable to sleep in. the gatekeeper also came by to see Galen off. The one man who rarely comes to the village center came in. He gave Galen the Oakwood horn, for when he would return all he would have to do is sound the horn to alert the people when he returns from his journey. Ms. Pennington who owned the clothing store gave Galen a cloak to match his blanket for extra warmth. Even the children younger then him gave him a gift.
    “We put together all our savings and bought materials to make u this knapsack. We even sewed our names behind it so u wouldn’t forget us Galen.” Said one of the younger children who handed him the knapsack.
    Other Gifts that Galen received was a green tunic and boots, for camouflage, a bow and a quiver of arrows for hunting, a compass so he would never get lost, which Ened gave to him from his father, a map of the world that he was to travel, and other such items. His mother also came into the village to see him off. She gave the thing she was baking on all day with.
    “This is called weybread Galen,” Said Astal handing Galen three packs of weybread. “It is made from an old family recipe the bread will keep u full for hours and healthy as well. Drink plenty of water and eat the weybread and u will be fine till u get to your first town. Ration them carefully.” With her last words she gave Galen a big hug and kissed him on his cheeks.
    As sunset approached Galen had all the equipment he needed to leave on his journey, with courtesy of the people of Oakwood village and yet he still has yet to make up his mind about whether not he wants to go. But it was true to him now that this was his destiny and so after gathering all his items his decision was made. Galen packed all his belongings up in and on his knapsack. Once he put the big leather bag on his back it felt like it weighed fifty pounds heavier, but he wouldn’t let a small burden like his packsack weighing him on his quest to save magi and his village, after all he needed all the supplies he could while on this journey. At sunset Galen sat by the auditorium for the elders to come. He kept the bag on his back all day so he could use to the weight and be able to carry it with ease when time called for it. Finally the elders arrived coming from behind the auditorium as usual and sitting themselves down as usual. Quellehir approached the podium and motioned everyone to silence with his hands. Sir Durloth was not on he stage this time with the elders. Once the crowd was silenced Quellehir began his speech.
    “It gives me great pleasure to know that one of our own children has been giving a task by Magi herself. Magi has asked the child known as Galen to fore take a journey of impeccable danger and triumph.” Said Quellehir as the crowd waited patiently for him to speak.
    Galen was right in front of the crowd standing close to auditorium paying close attention to what Quellehir had to say. Little did he know that Quellehir’s speech was leading up to Galen and that he would have to stand on stage with the elder’s.
    “And now I would like Galen to come and receive gifts of the elder’s to aid him on his journey. Galen please step foreword.” Said Quellehir motioning Galen to walk onto the stage. Galen walked cautiously to the podium where Quellehir was standing; looking back at the crowd Galen felt an uneasiness feeling inside. He knew he was just nervous and that’s all it was. After what seemed like an eternity to walk to the podium from the ground and climb the stairs, Galen reached his place and was to receive his final preparations gifts for his long journey ahead.
    “Falco, please give Galen the First gift,” Said Quellehir waving to Falco, who stepped up and moved foreword towards Galen baring a closed box.
    As he opened it a glowing stone that suddenly ceased to stop glowing. Galen was mesmerized by its enchantment.
    “The Prostone is said to hold magical powers when thrown on the ground. Once stricken and cracked it will emit a powerful energy barrier in the area that it hit. This stone may only be used once and once cracked it will no longer hold value of any kind and remain a regular peace of rock. Use it wisely for this stone is indeed a rare find and u may never come across another like it.” As Falco handed Galen the Prostone, he placed it around his neck like a necklace and then Falco sat back down.
    Next Nerin stood holding a satchel that looked a little heavy for his old and withered fingers to carry.
    “I Nerin present to u a gift of the villages savings. There are gold coins, bronze coins and silver. Here in the village we do not rely on such material things as money, for we use trading as a means to gain what we need during the festival. When you reach the kingdoms however, u must rely on your money for trading. People of the west are greedier there you’ll find then they are here in our peaceful village. Be weary on how you use your money, for greed could consume your gentle soul Galen.” Nerin handed Galen the satchel of money and he placed on his belt. Nerin then sat down.
    As Nerin sat down Galen couldn’t help but feel a certain uneasiness from him, but perhaps it was the sly look that Nerin gave him just as he sat down. Galen as usual just shook it off and waited for his next gift from Mother elder. Mother then stood up and approached him with her soothing smile and elegance look.
    “Galen, my gift from to you is this,” She said handing him a lengthy peace of rope that shimmered and shined in the sunlight. “It is a rope made from the strains of hairs of all the women of the village. With all the being blond and brunette the rope itself holds the same beauty from the women whose hair were sacrificed into making this rope. Yes even your mother offered some of her hair into it. It is as light as feather, but as strong as the hardest rock. I have dubbed it the Maidens Rope. There is no other rope like it in the entire world. It will help in your time of need.” After Mother elder finished her speech, she kissed Galen on the cheek and sat down.
    “And now Galen, your final gift,” said Quellehir raise his hands to silence the crowd. “My gift to u is this, advice for your journey. First take the forest south of the Village for that will be your departure point. I know well that it holds great danger, which you will mostly like face, however it is the safest way to travel. The gatekeeper has informed that the roads are not so safe for a child such as you to travel upon. The Bandits have gained controlled of both roads and would strike you down first chance. I am also told that Magi herself would over see your protection whilst traveling through the forest to ensure your safety. With what strength she has left it will be used as protection from the evil in the forest. That is all I have to offer to you Galen. Now that you are prepared are you ready to take your leave?” Said Quellehir motioning Galen to head towards the edge of the forest line.
    “I am first elder Quellehir.” Said Galen raising his head proud and firm.
    “Then go and remember this your journey. Your adventure. Embrace with pride and do not let evil hold you back.” Said Quellehir finishing off his speech. At that moment the crown let out a cheerful applause to Galen as he head towards to forest edge.
    Galen wasn’t nervous to begin his journey while walking towards the forest from the village. He went from the village center and then in between the inn and the bookkeepers, from there he went over the ranchers land straight south. This was the easy part Galen thought. He knew the village well and he knew which way south was for him. As soon as he entered the forest however, he would have to rely on his compass for directions. This would be his first time ever being away from his family and home. The thought gave him butterflies in his stomach, but with Quellehir’s advice he embraced his opportunity for adventure and would let nothing stand in his way.
    Galen didn’t realize that from all the thinking he was while on his little trek towards the woods, he eventually reached and nearly walked right into an oak tree. He stopped hesitantly then turned around to look back at the village. From the distanced Galen looked perfectly camouflaged with the forest thanks to his garment. He noticed there were still some town folk looking towards his direction trying to spot him. Galen feeling a little regrets looked at his beloved village were he spent his entire childhood life in and look at his house on the northern hill of the village. From his view it just looked like a small shack. Inside the house was his sick father. His mother was nursing him to get better and on the fields was his brother working the plows. Right then and there he knew there was now time for regrets. He took one last look at his family.
    “Look after them well brother.” He said as he took a deep breath and entered the woods.
    Ened looked into Galen’s and though he heard his brother’s whisper in the wind. And then he smiled looking at Galen’s direction; “Come back safely brother we’ll be here waiting to here your adventure when you return.” Said Ened returning to his plowing.
    Galen entered the forest and began his adventure to save Magi, his father, and his home. Galen was excited; he was thrilled he was scared. But never the less, he went foreword and from that pint on he never looked back.
     
  2. Jingojolene

    Jingojolene Wayfarer, heartlander

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    woahhhh I started reading then realised just how much you have written XD I just wanted to say - you should work on that beginning paragraph. You can tell how good a story is going to be from the first sentence you read, and for me it all started off a bit like a fairy tale. If that's what you were going for, then great, but I think there's much more you could do with it.
    Sorry that I haven't read all of it but that's probably the best advice I could give - the beginning.
    I do lots and lots of writing all the time so I know how hard it is to begin a story, but trust me the effort will be worth it to keep the attention of the readers. :D
     
  3. Reece56364

    Reece56364 Guest

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    Same.. I was gonna attempt it, but man, you write too much :p A few paragraphs is enough ;)
     
  4. damiynn

    damiynn Fantasy Author

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    A good point is to break it up between paragraphs, that makes it easier for all of us