My First Story (Prt. 2)

Discussion in 'Original Works' started by MonkeyPantsFlash, Jun 26, 2013.

  1. MonkeyPantsFlash

    MonkeyPantsFlash The Eager Scribe

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    Part 2 of my first story. Hope you like! :)


    The Journey, prt. 2​

    Keiv spurred his horse on, with almost no regard for his surroundings. Why is this my job?, he thought spitefully. Why, if I do such a terrible job, do they send me on the important missions? His mood only soured when he saw Barrow in the distance, illuminated by torches being held by a crowd of growling villagers. Great. They're already riled up. That ought to make my job REAL easy. He rode on, not stopping until he was just outside of the group of farmers, skidding to stop and hopping off.

    A large man, carrying a pitchfork, stepped forward. "Oi, looki that! Firs' some bangin' and flashin', then some Shade come ridin' into town!" He spit at Keivs feet, and the whole group started an uproar of disapproving laughter. "What you want, Shade?" Keiv cleared his thoat, trying to be as official as possible. "I'm here to examine any anomalies that have happened, be them magical or otherwise. The Elders..." He could almost hear the air being sucked in by the farmers, their staunch faces suddenly a strange shade of white "Have detected strange disturbances in the magic-space-time-whatever, and I've been chosen to figure it out. Now, what was this about banging and flashing you saw?" The large man gulped, and his brow furrowed "Look, I don' know wha' those Elders want, but there was some purple lights, an' some banging noises, like fireworks." He suddenly turned to his group "An' I think somethin' like that ain't worth sendin' Elder lackeys to our home. We can' handle it." He turned to Keiv "So, if you wouldn' mind, get out of our town."

    The mob behind him roared in agreement. Keiv stood his ground "Look, I'm already in trouble for not getting here on time, so, no, I don't think I'm gonna disobey my orders." The large man cracked a toothy grin "I was hopin' you'd fight." He tried to move towards Keiv, but before he could get close, Keiv pulled his sword on him. It was a strange thing, that looked like an extended meat cleaver. The blade was at least a one-and-a-half feet long. It was right up against the large farmers chest, stopping him in his tracks. His face was locked in a grimace, his eyes wide in surprise. Keiv cleared his throat again "Now. Where can I sleep? I'm tired." The farmer, dumbfounded, pointed towards a medium sized building, across town. "Inn... the inn..." Keiv withdrew his sword. "Good. Somebody take care of my horse, will ya? You guys sure are lousy with guests..." And he walked away, towards the Inn, leaving the dumbfounded group of farmers to themselves.

    Well? What do you think?
     
  2. S.J. Faerlind

    S.J. Faerlind Flashlight Shadowhunter

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    intriguing... I'm wondering why the farmers dislike Shades so much and what the purple lights and banging things are :)
     
  3. Emerlas

    Emerlas Emerz

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    You're such a good writer MonkeyPantsFlash (MPF)
    :D
    wonderful!
     
  4. SwanofWar

    SwanofWar New Member

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    Well I can't say anything about the story since it's so small of a sample, but you're writing seems high quality!