more women jokes.

Discussion in 'Joke Board' started by AlphaAlex, May 4, 2009.

  1. AlphaAlex

    AlphaAlex Official Forum Nuisance

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2008
    Messages:
    8,691
    Likes Received:
    214
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    Australia
    Ratings:
    +307 / 3 / -0
    How many men does it take to open a beer?
    None. It should be opened when she brings it.

    Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
    Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

    Why do women have smaller feet than men?
    It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

    How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
    When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me....'

    How do you fix a woman's watch?
    You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

    If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
    The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

    Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
    It's called a Wedding Cake.

    Why do men die before their wives?
    They want to.

    Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  2. Killbot608

    Killbot608 prototype killing machine

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2009
    Messages:
    1,305
    Likes Received:
    24
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    I'm Omnipresent
    Ratings:
    +24 / 0 / -0
    LAWL! that is all.
     
  3. Raff the Sweetling

    Raff the Sweetling Threadkiller

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2008
    Messages:
    1,421
    Likes Received:
    46
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    My own personal hell
    Ratings:
    +46 / 0 / -0
    Ha! Someone had to say It!

    Why haven't any women ever gone to the moon?
    It doesn't need cleaning yet

    What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
    Pregnant.

    What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
    A battery has a positive side.

    Why do women get married in white?
    So they match the kitchen appliances!
     
  4. Kally

    Kally Driving my own destiny.

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2009
    Messages:
    3,747
    Likes Received:
    52
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Ratings:
    +57 / 0 / -0
    >.<.... Grr....

    God made men, Then had a better Idea :D *sticks out tounge*
     
  5. Killbot608

    Killbot608 prototype killing machine

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2009
    Messages:
    1,305
    Likes Received:
    24
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    I'm Omnipresent
    Ratings:
    +24 / 0 / -0
    its all in the name o fun pyro. the modern man does almost as much housework as women, it'll either balance out or ther'll be some role reversal.
     
  6. Killbot608

    Killbot608 prototype killing machine

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2009
    Messages:
    1,305
    Likes Received:
    24
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    I'm Omnipresent
    Ratings:
    +24 / 0 / -0
  7. Kally

    Kally Driving my own destiny.

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2009
    Messages:
    3,747
    Likes Received:
    52
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Ratings:
    +57 / 0 / -0
    ...Sexist ASS!
     
  8. Kally

    Kally Driving my own destiny.

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2009
    Messages:
    3,747
    Likes Received:
    52
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Ratings:
    +57 / 0 / -0
    I should report him xD (jk)
     
  9. Killbot608

    Killbot608 prototype killing machine

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2009
    Messages:
    1,305
    Likes Received:
    24
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    I'm Omnipresent
    Ratings:
    +24 / 0 / -0
    aw. i jest, i <3 u really :D
     
  10. RayCaptain

    RayCaptain 如朱

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2006
    Messages:
    6,719
    Likes Received:
    210
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    Texas
    Ratings:
    +216 / 0 / -0
    that video is faved now...
     
  11. aury

    aury former doubleposter

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2009
    Messages:
    320
    Likes Received:
    11
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    west coast usa
    Ratings:
    +11 / 0 / -0
    why dont womwn need a drivers liscense?
    because there is no road btetween the bedroom and the kitchen

    what do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?
    nothing. youve already told her twice.


    these jokes are all so old
     
  12. aury

    aury former doubleposter

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2009
    Messages:
    320
    Likes Received:
    11
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    west coast usa
    Ratings:
    +11 / 0 / -0
    why dont womwn need a drivers liscense?
    because there is no road btetween the bedroom and the kitchen

    what do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?
    nothing. youve already told her twice.


    these jokes are all so old
     
  13. Killbot608

    Killbot608 prototype killing machine

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2009
    Messages:
    1,305
    Likes Received:
    24
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    I'm Omnipresent
    Ratings:
    +24 / 0 / -0
    u love dp dont u aury? :D
     
  14. Kally

    Kally Driving my own destiny.

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2009
    Messages:
    3,747
    Likes Received:
    52
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Ratings:
    +57 / 0 / -0
    Jest?
     
  15. aury

    aury former doubleposter

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2009
    Messages:
    320
    Likes Received:
    11
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    west coast usa
    Ratings:
    +11 / 0 / -0
    dp? *feels dejavu*

    EW its all in good fun. to jest is to joke. its just@like blonde jokes. funny haha
     
  16. aury

    aury former doubleposter

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2009
    Messages:
    320
    Likes Received:
    11
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    west coast usa
    Ratings:
    +11 / 0 / -0
    dp? *feels dejavu*

    pyro its all in good fun. to jest is to joke. its just@like blonde jokes. funny haha


    EDIT: digimon paraphanalia right? uh no
     
    Last edited: May 4, 2009
  17. Kally

    Kally Driving my own destiny.

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2009
    Messages:
    3,747
    Likes Received:
    52
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Ratings:
    +57 / 0 / -0
    hehe, how does a blonde kill a fish?
    Drowns it!

    How does a blonde kill a bird?
    Throws it off a cliff!
     
  18. Lord Yuan

    Lord Yuan Death-Thousand+

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2009
    Messages:
    4,068
    Likes Received:
    125
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    Crystal Prison (space crime)
    Ratings:
    +162 / 0 / -0
    Wanna hear a joke?
     
  19. RayCaptain

    RayCaptain 如朱

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2006
    Messages:
    6,719
    Likes Received:
    210
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    Texas
    Ratings:
    +216 / 0 / -0
    Women's Rights
     
    • Like Like x 1
  20. AlphaAlex

    AlphaAlex Official Forum Nuisance

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2008
    Messages:
    8,691
    Likes Received:
    214
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    Australia
    Ratings:
    +307 / 3 / -0
    hahahahaaa.. *can see ray being slaughtered*