Mental Illness

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by olivia_the_lamb, Jun 10, 2018.

  1. olivia_the_lamb

    olivia_the_lamb Moderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2003
    Messages:
    14,937
    Likes Received:
    237
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    Elysium
    Ratings:
    +412 / 3 / -1
    It's 2018. We're all very aware of its existence. Celebrity suicides get attention. Shows like 13 Reasons Why exist. Everyone shares mental illness awareness related posts on fb for a few days after someone kills themselves and then they move on while those of us who struggle are still here in the ether fighting our battles.

    If you know someone who struggles, please reach out to them. I personally struggle a lot. As most of you know, I have bipolar disorder/manic depression. I mention both names because not everyone knows they are the same thing. I experience extreme highs and extreme lows and sometimes mixtures of both. I do experience times where I feel "normal" (as in neuro-typical).

    Currently, I am struggling, which is why I have not been posting. During these times my focus has to go toward being able to get out of bed and go to work and trying to maintain what I hope is a "good" standard of motherhood for my daughter.

    So I am making this post to make you guys aware that I am not abandoning you all after just coming back. I am just not well. I think about you guys every single day and nothing makes me happier than to know that while I'm working on getting better, that when I am able to be active again, I'll have an active forum to come back home to, once again.

    I am also making this post to let those of you who also struggle with mental illness know that you are not alone. I'm here fighting the good fight right along with you and if you ever need anything I am a PM or a fb message away.

    It's very important to talk about mental health and de-stigmatize it so that we can lower suicide rates. You matter. You are important. You are more than your illness. You deserve to live, and you deserve to matter while you still breathe.

    I have a hard time putting things into words at times, so here is a poem I wrote to express this.

    To Escape and Be Escaped From: Reach


    Just keep on keeping on folks.
     
    • Winner Winner x 6
    • Friendly Friendly x 2
  2. RayCaptain

    RayCaptain Sojourning Traveler

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2006
    Messages:
    10,889
    Likes Received:
    294
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Location:
    Where I lay my head is home
    Ratings:
    +451 / 3 / -10
    My wife and mother both have similar sets of conditions, to include being bipolar, among other things, and I can say that it is just so immensely different for everyone. Everyone needs different things, handles their episodes differently, everything is different for everyone to some degree.

    I hope you can find your center again sooner rather than later and, if you aren't opposed, a solid physician and/or counselor who can keep your lows and your highs more towards an equilibrium.

    We'll be here when you drop in, love.
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 2
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
  3. Padmé

    Padmé King in the North & King Anakin's Wench

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2004
    Messages:
    24,259
    Likes Received:
    2,242
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Scotland/Belgium
    Ratings:
    +2,709 / 0 / -1
    I'm so very sorry to hear that you're struggling so much, Rhi, but also very glad that you thought to talk about it here so that we can all help you in whatever way we're able. I know that you cannot control these extreme highs and lows, but please know that we are all back here again because of you :) We're here for you, whether here or PM, we're all here and I'm sure I'm no where near alone in this sentiment. I have absolutely no doubt that you're a fantastic, cool mother for your daughter! She's a lucky girl to have you, just as you are her. :) It's been a long time since I've heard about her actually, I'd love to hear what mischief she keeps you busy with :D

    Just remember you're tough, you're strong.... You're Ellen Ripley, damn it! :cool: And we've got your back! You're the Queen of TFF!
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
  4. Anakin

    Anakin King of TFF

    Top Poster Of Month

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2004
    Messages:
    35,694
    Likes Received:
    2,643
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Belgium
    Ratings:
    +3,157 / 5 / -0
    I’m sad to hear to hear of your problems and I hope that in time your struggles will lessen. With a lot of mental illnesses including my own, it’s often a constant battle and I might not know completely, but I do think I know to some extent of how difficult that can be for you. But you’re right that surrounding yourselves with friends or just people you can relate to is often very helpful. That’s why I’m grateful to have Padme as my wife. Her humour often helps me through and you know the saying ‘Laughter is often the best medicine.’.

    My aunt is bipolar and it saddens me that our own issues with our mental illness has affected our relationship. She was feeling very down and I won’t go into detail, but we got in a fiery argument that caused me to become very ill and since then we’re not as close anymore. I feel guilty over it, because I want to help her, but I can’t do that at the cost of my own health, because that time wasn’t the only one where we got into a really bad argument.

    But as Padme said we’re here for you, we’re here because of you and she’s totally right. You’re a great mother, you’re strong and your daughter is a true blessing. You are the Queen of TFF and she’s our princess, take care and best wishes! :heart::heart::heart:
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
  5. olivia_the_lamb

    olivia_the_lamb Moderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2003
    Messages:
    14,937
    Likes Received:
    237
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    Elysium
    Ratings:
    +412 / 3 / -1
    Thank you.

    I do have a very solid therapist but due to financial issues from being in between jobs for a week and of course pay not happening until much too late, I have been unable to see her for almost 3 weeks.

    Thank you so much. I really appreciate your kind words (which I know are also true, not just kind). And thank you for comparing me to Ellen Ripley. I definitely feel like I'm on a ship, stranded in space, fighting a xenomorph lol.

    Zelda has been keeping me busy with tantrums of "No I don't want the waffl-" *I take the waffles away* NO MOMMY I WANT THE WAFFLES *she breaks down into a puddle of tears and screaming* "Okay baby, here's the waffles" *she kicks and screams* "NO NO NO NO WAFFLES" .... and repeat that with literally everything all day long :)

    It is very helpful to have people to turn to, and I am glad you have Padmé to help you with your struggles. I often find that my own humour is what gets me through. When I am depressed like this I love nothing more than to make people laugh, even when I can barely do it myself.

    I'm sorry for the loss of your closeness with your aunt. I won't pretend like it's not hard to be close with someone who is bipolar. It very much can be, especially if the person isn't so self-aware. Not that your aunt isn't, I am just speaking of where I was years ago. I lost many friends due to my illness because I just didn't realize how ill I was. I got my diagnosis when I was 17 and from 17 until about 25 I lashed out at people I cared about and hurt a lot of people just in general. I started to realize who I was vs who I was when I was in an episode and that helped a lot. I now know when I am in an episode and I know to tell people and to apologize and to well, just keep my mouth shut sometimes lol.


    Thank you guys. It's hard to feel anything positive when you're in a depressive episode, but knowing and hearing how you feel about me does help. I love you all very much. TFF has kept me going through many depressive episodes, through many traumas, and through many tragedies. I don't know where I'd be if it weren't for you guys and I am forever grateful.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
    • Optimistic Optimistic x 1
  6. Overread

    Overread Wolfing it up! Staff Member

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2007
    Messages:
    7,162
    Likes Received:
    361
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Location:
    UK
    Ratings:
    +648 / 3 / -1
    Sorry to hear that you're stuck in a bad patch Liv (and to top it off also enduring The Great Waffle War of 2018!). Remember TFF is always here for you - we'll hold the fort so don't worry about having to rush back in!

    Please don't go all flamethrower mad on us!!!
    (and I guess I should say please don't cook the TFF xeno's - the sci-fi lot need a few xenos around the site ;))
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Winner Winner x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  7. Pyrofyre

    Pyrofyre From the ashes, I rise

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2009
    Messages:
    4,247
    Likes Received:
    85
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Ratings:
    +157 / 1 / -1
    "Piglet?" said Pooh.

    "Yes Pooh?" said Piglet.

    "Do you ever have days when everything feels... Not Very Okay At All? And sometimes you don't even know why you feel Not Very Okay At All, you just know that you do."

    Piglet nodded his head sagely. "Oh yes," said Piglet. "I definitely have those days."

    "Really?" said Pooh in surprise. "I would never have thought that. You always seem so happy and like you have got everything in life all sorted out."

    "Ah," said Piglet. "Well here's the thing. There are two things that you need to know, Pooh. The first thing is that even those pigs, and bears, and people, who seem to have got everything in life all sorted out... they probably haven't. Actually, everyone has days when they feel Not Very Okay At All. Some people are just better at hiding it than others.

    "And the second thing you need to know... is that it's okay to feel Not Very Okay At All. It can be quite normal, in fact. And all you need to do, on those days when you feel Not Very Okay At All, is come and find me, and tell me. Don't ever feel like you have to hide the fact you're feeling Not Very Okay At All. Always come and tell me. Because I will always be there."
    :heart:
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 2
    • Like Like x 1
    • Winner Winner x 1
  8. olivia_the_lamb

    olivia_the_lamb Moderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2003
    Messages:
    14,937
    Likes Received:
    237
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    Elysium
    Ratings:
    +412 / 3 / -1
    Thank you <3

    Xenos have been cooked, sorry mate ;) I'm too big of a sci-fi nerd to not blast the xenos :p

    Thanks best friend, I love you and needed that :heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  9. Tamago

    Tamago Lord-Commander of Anakin's Kingsguard

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2014
    Messages:
    3,061
    Likes Received:
    295
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Location:
    Bucharest
    Ratings:
    +797 / 4 / -0
    I send you many hugs Liv and I am sure things will become better from now on! I'm not suffering from any mental illness, but my grandmother had Alzheimer's and I think I now some of some struggle, so to speak. You have all our support here on TFF and we're waiting for you with open arms -at least, I am! I send you a lot of courage and do know that you are not alone! And certainly YOU matter. There's no question about that.

    Maybe it's too much to say, but since I am a mother myself, I believe that as you try to do your best for your daughter, that is already the best. You and I and everyone are only human. Wanting and doing what you can for your daughter, loving her, and trying in itself is remarkable!

    Many many many hugs!
     
  10. olivia_the_lamb

    olivia_the_lamb Moderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2003
    Messages:
    14,937
    Likes Received:
    237
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    Elysium
    Ratings:
    +412 / 3 / -1
    Thanks girl, I really appreciate it *hug*
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  11. RayCaptain

    RayCaptain Sojourning Traveler

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2006
    Messages:
    10,889
    Likes Received:
    294
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Location:
    Where I lay my head is home
    Ratings:
    +451 / 3 / -10
    A little bit better, Liv?
     
  12. Pyrofyre

    Pyrofyre From the ashes, I rise

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2009
    Messages:
    4,247
    Likes Received:
    85
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Ratings:
    +157 / 1 / -1
    As I've said before, you don't have to thank me. I love you too forever :heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  13. olivia_the_lamb

    olivia_the_lamb Moderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2003
    Messages:
    14,937
    Likes Received:
    237
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    Elysium
    Ratings:
    +412 / 3 / -1
    Getting there, albeit rather slowly. Thank you for checking in.

    5ever :heart::heart::heart::heart: lol
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  14. Mububban

    Mububban Administrator Staff Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2003
    Messages:
    4,714
    Likes Received:
    148
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    West Australia
    Ratings:
    +199 / 1 / -0
    We should have another Skype call :)
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  15. olivia_the_lamb

    olivia_the_lamb Moderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2003
    Messages:
    14,937
    Likes Received:
    237
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    Elysium
    Ratings:
    +412 / 3 / -1
    We should!