Let us dance the dance of Death

Discussion in 'Fan Poetry' started by Meteorain, Mar 31, 2006.

  1. Meteorain

    Meteorain Magical & Mystical

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2003
    Messages:
    17,139
    Likes Received:
    150
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    London
    Ratings:
    +150 / 0 / -0
    Erm...like I was feeling all emo and stuff, but cool emo...not loser suicidal emo, so I thought this up:

    Let us dance the dance of death,
    Metallic clang its very breath.
    Warriors stand with sword in hand,
    In this valley of the damned.
    Follow men's shadow till faces appear,
    Warriors wearing full metal gear.
    A land unknown, we come so far,
    We ride this day to see the morning star.
    Stand now, proud and so glorious,
    Our destiny stand before us.
    From the land of desire,
    Our hearts are filled with fire.
    So let us dance the dance of death.
    Until we taste the metal in our breath.

    So, what do you think?
     
  2. Roland

    Roland Go Horse's Go

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2005
    Messages:
    2,162
    Likes Received:
    19
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    England
    Ratings:
    +19 / 0 / -0
    yeah good job I like it.
     
  3. Meteorain

    Meteorain Magical & Mystical

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2003
    Messages:
    17,139
    Likes Received:
    150
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    London
    Ratings:
    +150 / 0 / -0
    eh? eh? Tank ye!
     
  4. Harbringer

    Harbringer New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2005
    Messages:
    2,066
    Likes Received:
    13
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Ratings:
    +13 / 0 / -0
    hey thats pretty good, far better than anything i have ever composed.
     
  5. Liadan

    Liadan Insert Title Here

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2005
    Messages:
    14,968
    Likes Received:
    124
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Arizona
    Ratings:
    +124 / 0 / -0
    Cool. But still emo. ;) (jk)
     
  6. Kakashi

    Kakashi The Fighters Guide House Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2005
    Messages:
    15,018
    Likes Received:
    306
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    In the hearts and minds of us all
    Ratings:
    +306 / 0 / -0
    good i like it
     
  7. Meteorain

    Meteorain Magical & Mystical

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2003
    Messages:
    17,139
    Likes Received:
    150
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    London
    Ratings:
    +150 / 0 / -0
    thanks a lot ppl

    =]
     
  8. Running Wolf

    Running Wolf Join the Madness

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2006
    Messages:
    6,485
    Likes Received:
    200
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    Bittersweet Hell
    Ratings:
    +231 / 0 / -0
    Yes, cool! Nice, really good job Met!
     
  9. Meteorain

    Meteorain Magical & Mystical

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2003
    Messages:
    17,139
    Likes Received:
    150
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    London
    Ratings:
    +150 / 0 / -0
    thanks a lot

    =]
     
  10. PenguinofDeath

    PenguinofDeath The name says it all.

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2004
    Messages:
    1,216
    Likes Received:
    17
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    England
    Ratings:
    +17 / 0 / -0
    I like it!

    I'd disagree on the emo front- but if you need help emo-ing it up, I've always got a few clichés and eye makeup I can lend ya ;)
     
  11. Wing Rider

    Wing Rider Psychotic Cybernetica

    Joined:
    May 18, 2006
    Messages:
    3,100
    Likes Received:
    13
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Location:
    London
    Ratings:
    +13 / 0 / -0
    This is very good. I don't know if you noticed, bu the first line reminded me of a line from a good song which was "Let us stand on the giddying brink". Also, are you sure this is all your work? Almost the whole thing is from the song Valley of the Damned by Dragonforce - even the bit about the warriors is in there! rofl
     
  12. Meteorain

    Meteorain Magical & Mystical

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2003
    Messages:
    17,139
    Likes Received:
    150
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    London
    Ratings:
    +150 / 0 / -0
    Yea...its a lot of dragonforce....their lines are very good...so I thought I'd utilise it :p

    Although...only about 2 lines are Valley of the Damned :p
     
  13. Wing Rider

    Wing Rider Psychotic Cybernetica

    Joined:
    May 18, 2006
    Messages:
    3,100
    Likes Received:
    13
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Location:
    London
    Ratings:
    +13 / 0 / -0
    Still doesn't mean you can copy their lines, since on the black wind forever we will ride by together, destroying your evil with freedom our guide. :) You have also put a bit of Morning Star in there as well, and Heart of a Dragon. The only original bit is "let us dance the dance of death".
     
  14. Meteorain

    Meteorain Magical & Mystical

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2003
    Messages:
    17,139
    Likes Received:
    150
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    London
    Ratings:
    +150 / 0 / -0
    Notice only a few line's a fully copied...secondly their all adapted...and thirdly...the second line is original aswell.

    Whether I can copy them or not is a matter of opinion...I have utilised different parts to make one...if you don't like it, then say so and leave it at that.
     
  15. Wing Rider

    Wing Rider Psychotic Cybernetica

    Joined:
    May 18, 2006
    Messages:
    3,100
    Likes Received:
    13
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Location:
    London
    Ratings:
    +13 / 0 / -0
    But it's still good! :) Just don't like the lack of originality.