I'm making this up as i write... please comment all negitive critiqe you have!

Discussion in 'Reviews' started by Orion'sbelt, Sep 3, 2010.

  1. Orion'sbelt

    Orion'sbelt Orion's belt

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    Well. To start off, I love to write and yea. I felt like writing so here I am.

    Julissa strolled down flick street, Shiro at her side. The boy was also headed for Mr.Yerr's class. She shot a glance down at her clock. 7:25 it read. She picked up the pace a bit, weaving between horses and ducking under flying dragons. Today, she remembered, was field trip day. We were 13; It was the time we could try to catch out own wild dragon, he stated yesterday. Soon, the towering bell tower of the school rose in front of them. They swung the doors open, narrowly missing the rush a school ship arrive. They anxiously ambled over to their room, Mr.Yerr. There was a school ship parked over there, slightly levitating. James Yerr, referred to by his pupils as Mr.Yerr, was guiding his students to the bus.
    "Good morning Jewel! Nice day, Shiro! Field trip day!" He shrieked. Sometimes people wonder if he is as excited for these things as the kids. The only exception is that he is just as excited for tests. She loaded the bus, grabbing a two-seat with Shiro. He's my brother, and the local nerd, basically, she thought. But then again, so am I. She buried my face in a book that was rented about how to catch dragons.



    She only got to the part about their body motions when we arrived at great river patch. A huge slab of rock stretched out, named king's rock. This, as culture states, is where the first dragon rider met her mount. The open space was flourishing with flowers then thick with trees, and dragons that were munching on them. Mr.Yerr stepped out first, followed by everyone.
    "Today is the day most of you might catch your very first dragon. Each one is special. When you pick a target, ,go for a young, healthy one. Resort to the adults or sick if absolutely unavoidable. I want everyone to at least of tried to catch one today. Your grade is on participation. Take one as you go." He handed a kit to each child who exited. "Each one varies in supplies. Learn to use your weapons!" As she was handed her kit, she set of for the brim of the forest. Shiro was locked on a small, dreamy-looking youth(dragon). These tests are stupid, Jewel thought to herself. She sat at the brim of the forest and swung open her kit, spreading it's belongings on the floor. All in all, this was a good kit. It was armed with a flare gun, The Golement (A small gun used to envelope thrashing dragons, good if their armed with claws), some food, and a flask. She sighed and opened her book again. It didn't take long to finish the thing. Snap, it shut. Tucking it into a bag, she grabbed the apple in her kit. She looked up to look for people, and shrieked. Their was a small, cloudy female dragon. She checked it's chest for swirls; she had 9. tat means she is a three wing four point, quite rare amongst dragons. They have deadly weapons, like long claws and vicious teeth, but the intelligence of a four point. It was peering at her apple. Very slowly she backed off, to no avail. The dragon would only waddle closer. In quick guess, it was about 3 years, a perfect age. The dragon waddled forward and snatched the apple right from Jewel's hand, as if it knew her all of her life. It occured to her that several people, including Mr.Yerr, were staring. Shiro was nowhere in sight.
    "That get's you killed, by a poacher. Be more careful with who you trust," I advised her, before walking off. When i get a dragon, she thought, I wanna a good fight. The stupid thing rushed after her, and butted her from behind. With the sudden force she was knocked off balance. a deep chuffing sound came from the dragon's chest; laughter. The girl, astounded, got up and brushed off dirt, leaving her pack where it was. "You mongrel crossbreed!" She yelled, chasing after the three wing four point. the dragon, who thought this was a splendid game, flew off. Poor girl, Jewel, finally got tired. The dragon put it's nose into her pack, trying to find more food. Instead, she carried over the whole pack. The brander came tumbling out. Jewel lifted it in her hand, and blew off the dust. She wanted this dragon, more that she ever wanted anything. Once again the girl tried to catch the dragon, and once again the dragon had a very good time. Eventually the dragon heated the brander, and waddled over. With a yell of triumph, she pressed the red-hot metal with her name onto the dragon's thick scales.



    Short stories!!:dragon: