I need help!

Discussion in 'Original Works' started by Hermione Malfoy, Jan 24, 2007.

  1. Hermione Malfoy

    Hermione Malfoy Pureborn and Proud

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    I am writing a book; now it isn't fantasy; it's reality - sort of.

    I am coming up to a scene that is going to be a bit difficult to write.

    It involves a fifteen year old girl and her cousin who is two years older than her... I need tips on how to make this scene seem not to pervy...
     
  2. Warlock Lord

    Warlock Lord I am a Fashion Statement

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    i think you need to say a bit more... like why would they seem pervy... what are they suppose to do! :)
     
  3. Hermione Malfoy

    Hermione Malfoy Pureborn and Proud

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    A bedroom scene.

    The background is that his mother is her father's sister. She's a crazy mixed up kid who is insecure and he's a Goth (he dumped a girl because she wore pink on a date!) she's fancied him for ages, and he's fancied her for a bit to...

    It's why I need help; how can I write this sort of scene between the two of them without making it disgusting?
     
  4. ~Elladan~

    ~Elladan~ A Elbereth Gilthoniel

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    Unless you plan to promote under-age sex (well in the UK anyway) then it's unlikely to involve mad passionate (pervy?) love scenes. If it does perhaps the scene should involve a bucket of cold water to make it humorous :D

    Wanders away looking slightly embarrassed by whole subject :eek: :)
     
  5. Warlock Lord

    Warlock Lord I am a Fashion Statement

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    :eek: :confused:

    i dont think its possible to write that scene without it being disgusting... THEIR COUSINS!!! :)

    elladan is right maybe a bit of humour, might distract people from the reality of the situation... :)
     
  6. Hermione Malfoy

    Hermione Malfoy Pureborn and Proud

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    Well, Queen Victoria and Prince Albert were first cousins; and they had the happiest Royal Marriage of all time extending to ELEVEN children... so, it's not wrong; not even biblically wrong!
     
  7. Warlock Lord

    Warlock Lord I am a Fashion Statement

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    i think its sick to marry your cousin... :)

    when was it queen victoria and prince alberts time??? (when were they alive???)

    im completly lost in this situation... i know if i was reading a scene like that, nothing could distract me from the reality of things...

    come to think of it, in the elf-queen of shannara... there is a scene where wren has some weird sesations when her cousin touches and kisses her...

    il look it up and come back with chapter and stuff...
     
  8. Warlock Lord

    Warlock Lord I am a Fashion Statement

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    ok well i found it...

    as i said... the elfqueen of shannara, by terry brooks... at the very end of chapter twelve...

    it would take me too long to write so... if you havent got the book just tell me and ill take time to write it! :)
     
  9. Hermione Malfoy

    Hermione Malfoy Pureborn and Proud

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    Just over a hundred years ago!

    Queen Victoria was around the same time as authors like Charles Dickens; Anthony Trollope; and others, she was the Empress of India; and she was around in the height of the Industrial Revolution.... she reigned for over 60 years. Her era is even nicknamed the Victorian Era; J R R Tolkien and C S Lewis were born just in the end of her reign.

    She reigned from 1837 to around 1900 I can't remember when she died.

    Just to say one other thing; when I was at school a girl got pregnant by her own cousin; who was almost twice her age.

    And Jane Austen had Mr Darcy betrothed to his cousin and in Mansfield Park and Persuasion she did actually have cousins falling in love. I know that was two hundred years ago but I think it happens more than you care to think.

    The main theme of this book is Purity Of Blood as it's about a group of Nazi's who are now old men and have regretted their youthful actions, and the Royal Family still marry their cousins - all but one who's out for revenge.

    I might have that book somewhere but it might be easier if you typed it for me; my house is literally covered in books; and it'd take ages to find.
     
  10. Warlock Lord

    Warlock Lord I am a Fashion Statement

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    this is an extract from - the elfqueen of shannara chapter 12...

    gavilan is wren cousin and they have only known each other for a few days!


    "gavilan, it will be alright," she said quietly. "every thing you enjoy now was there once before. the magic only provides you with what will be there again if natures balance is restored. ellenroh is right. the elves will not survive if they remain on morrowindl. sooner or later, the keel will fail. and it may be that the fourlands, in turn, cannot survive without the elves. purhaps the destiny of the races is linked in some way, just as ellenroh suggested. perhaps allanon say that when he sent me to find you."

    his eyes fixed on hers.the fear was gone, but his look was intense and troubled. "i understand the magic, wren. aunt ell thinks it too dangerous, too unpredictable. but i understand it and i think i could find a way to master it."

    "tell me why she fears it," wren pressed. "what is it that causes her to think it dangerous?"

    gavilan hesitated, and for a moment he seemed about to answer. then he shook his head. "no, wren. i cannot tell you. i have sworn i wouldnt. you are an elf, but ... itis better if you never find out, believe me. the magic isnt what it seems. its too... "

    he brought up his hands as if to brush the matter aside, frustrated and impatient. then abruptly his mood changed and he was suddenly buoyant. "ask me anything else, and i will answer. ask me anything."

    wren folded her arms angrily. "i dont want to ask you anything else. i want to know about this."

    the dark eyes danced. he was enjoying himself. he stepped so close to her that they were almost touching. "you are alleyne's child, wren. i'll give you that. determined to the end."

    "tell me then."
    "wont give it up, will you?"
    "gavilan."
    "so caught up in wanting an answer you wont even see whats right in front of you face."

    she hesitated, confused.

    "look at me," he said

    they stared at each other without speaking, eyes locked, measuring in ways that transcended words. wren could feel the warmth of his breath and could see the the rise and fall of his chest.

    "tell me," she repeated stubbornly.

    she felt his hands come up to grip her arms, their touch light but firm. then then his face lowered to hers, and he kissed her.

    "no," he whispered, gave her a quick, uncertain smile, and disappeared into the night.
    ____________________

    well, theres more to the relationship, but it spans through a good few chapters!

    i think introducing a good bit of flirting throughout the book, before the 'bedroom scene...'

    i hope it helps! (because it took me a while to write!:))
     
  11. Hermione Malfoy

    Hermione Malfoy Pureborn and Proud

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    I was thinking of upping the stakes anyway... I agree perhaps there ought to be a good deal of flirting going on before the uh, event... shall we say...
     
  12. Warlock Lord

    Warlock Lord I am a Fashion Statement

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    well i hope it works... ;)

    *dreams about when the book is published*

    "and finaly i would like to thank Warlock Lord, for making this possible, and making me sound sane!" ;) :D
     
  13. Hermione Malfoy

    Hermione Malfoy Pureborn and Proud

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    LOL! Don't worry. All the people that have helped and supported me will get a mention... Mr Lord, sir!