How old is too young?

Discussion in 'Every Day Debating' started by imagine99, Jul 24, 2005.

  1. Elf JoElle

    Elf JoElle New Member

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    I agree.

    I have met people my age that can't take care of themselves. I've had friends that turned out okay despite the poor job their parents did at raising them.

    I've met 16 year olds who were going to school, had a job, and were taking care of the house. Doing more of the raising of their younger siblings than their parents.

    I've met 40 year olds who have the emotional make up of a two year old and can't wash their own clothes.

    I married at 18 and was a mother at 19. My husband and will be celebrating our 26 anniversary this year ... and yes, we are still very happy together. Our son also married young. He has two boys, a good job with the government and takes good care of his family.



    But I will add this reminder. If you are over the age of 18 and thinking of having a physical relationship with someone UNDER the age. Know your state laws. If his/her parents find out and decide to press charges ... you can end up in jail. No kidding. No matter if the girl/boy wanted to ... or how many times he/she's done it before. The law is the law. There is a reason under age girls are referred to as "jail bait".
     
  2. Amaterasu

    Amaterasu Shinto Sun Goddess

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    Whoa. I'm 15, still a virgin, and still haven't had a boyfriend. I think that you can have sex is when your emotionally and intellectually mature enough to handle the consequences of it. Personally, though, I'd wait till marriage.
     
  3. Normf

    Normf Death 'n' Roll

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    So basically biologically i would say when you hit puberty. Legally where i'm from it's 16. But i think people should wait untill they have learnt enough about the subject, and know to take contraception, and not lose their virginity to some random and regret it in years to come.
     
    Last edited: May 26, 2009
  4. Daenerys

    Daenerys Blood of the Dragon

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    I'm 18 and my boyfriend is 17. Age of consent here is 16, so, does that mean that until my boyfriend is also 18 (which is another year) we could get in trouble for having sex, if his parents thought to press charges? (we haven't had sex yet, btw, but we're thinking about it...)
     
  5. Sabbz

    Sabbz pooky

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    My view is a bit tricky to answer, but I'll try.

    I believe when you say "you are too young to have sex", you are passing judgement on a view that society has ingrained into you from childhood. And I am firmly against any form of judgement; people come to me all the time and tell me their problems because I never pass judgement without reading the front cover, the story and the synopsis.

    However, having said that; I do not believe it to be a case of "age" more a level of "maturity". If you are mature enough to have sex and you understand the potential consequences and are willing to take the necessary safety processes, then I don't see why not. I've met 13 year old's with twice the maturity of people 12 years their senior; does their age automatically signify that they are not allowed to have sex because "society says so" and "they are too young"? No.

    Maturity depends on how you are raised; I'll take myself for an example; My father left when I was 10 and I was forced to become the man of the house and I grew up extremely quickly. When I was 16 I was told that I have the maturity level of someone in their mid-20's, I'm 25 now and people mistake me for someone in their 30's, simply because I have a higher maturity level than many other people my age.

    If you are 13 and you have the maturity to engage in sex, the maturity to understand what you are doing with potential consequences and the dangerous involved and the necessary precautions to take, then I don't see a problem having sex at that age.


    Yes, I know, I'm strange. :D
     
  6. Sabbz

    Sabbz pooky

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    If the legal age of sex is 16, you can do it now and there is nothing anyone can do about; besides his mother crying about how the "little vixen who is much older than him stole her baby's innocence". But that's just crazy-mother talk :p
     
  7. Daenerys

    Daenerys Blood of the Dragon

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    So, "age of consent" means that its the age where the person can have sex WITHOUT their parents consent? or, they have to have their parents consent until they turn 18? I've always been confused about that...
     
  8. Mububban

    Mububban Administrator Staff Member

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    If the age of consent is 16, then anyone older than you having sex with say a 15 year old can go to jail.

    If both parties are over the age of consent (ie both 16 or older) then your parents might still get upset, but legally nobody is doing anything wrong.

    So go on the pill, buy some condoms and enjoy the wonderful world of sex if that is what you both wish to do :D
     
  9. Sabbz

    Sabbz pooky

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    Age of consent, imo, is referring to you and your partner. When you are under 16, this topic is considered to be the office of your parents and the government. When you turn 16, you are considered by law (although maybe not your parents lol) to be a consenting young adult, meaning you can make your own choices on the matter.

    So as Mububban says, go on the pill (or the injection which you only need once every 3 months I believe) and MAKE him wear a condom and go and enjoy yourself - but only if you are BOTH ready for it. :)
     
  10. Anir

    Anir New Member

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    Personally, I believe in waiting for marriage, because it will be all that more special to me, but hey, whatevs. I'm not going to be convincing anyone around here. (not that I'm bitter or anything. :p) Just be aware of all of the risks and stuff, blah blah blah, all the good stuff in those sex education courses or whatever the hell they're doing these days.

    The main reason that I don't believe in premarital sex is because I feel (personally) that I'm betraying my spouse, even though I'm not married.


    Also, a bit off topic:
    I read somewhere (can't remember off the top of my head) that boys/men would prefer to marry a virgin. Any opinions or thoughts on this guys?
     
  11. Sabbz

    Sabbz pooky

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    "Some" men would prefer to marry a virgin and some men would just like to take a virgin to bed, married or not (it's the promise of tightness and innocence and all that) while others wouldn't.

    Personally, I'd prefer to marry a woman who knows what she is doing in the bedroom, each to his own I say :)
     
  12. Raff the Sweetling

    Raff the Sweetling Threadkiller

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    I suppose its a matter of opinion, but when commiting the rest of your life to someone, its better to not get buyers remorse afterwards because of something like sex. (i.e.being a horrible lover) I wouldnt buy a car without taking it for a test drive first. (for lack of a better analogy)
     
  13. Jet

    Jet I Improvised

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    Really depends, on the situation. And how much you love each other.

    I lost my virginity on the age of 15. I know young, but I really loved her. So really depends on the situation.
     
  14. darkfox

    darkfox New Member

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    Despite the message religion tried to instill in me. Sex for men is slightly different than it is for women. Women, on average, tend to put a lot more thought and effort into their first time. Men, on average, couldn't really care less unless they feel...unequal to former lovers.

    The virgin marriage is such an out of date approach to life in my opinion. It comes from a time when women were traded like cattle. A woman's value was based on her virginity.

    Most Christian religions preach about not using protection either. So sex isn't for pleasure at all, just use the woman as a brood-mare and call it a day. So sad.

    My advice? Try and make your first time something special just because it's your first time. After that, decide what's best for you and move forward. I'm not sure if age figures into it. Though I will admit that finding out a kid I changed the diapers of is now sexually active makes me uncomfortable. Education is the key, no one wants to have a kid at 12.
     
  15. Mububban

    Mububban Administrator Staff Member

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    Billy Connelly, commenting on suicide bombers receiving 47 virgins hen they reach heaven, said somethign along the lines of "That's great, but they won't no what to bloody do with you! Give me one well seasoned whore, and I'll be a happy man!" :D

    Anyway. Men can be insanely jealous of a woman's past lovers. We're dumb like that. So a virgin removes that jealousy from the equation. And the chance of STIs (from her, if not him!).
    Plus, we like feeling big macho and manly, an taking someone's virginity is seen as a very masculine thing to do. Let's face it, you never forget your first time/partner.
    Also, knowing what you're doing with a partner who doesn't, means you have more of a chance to control things. Men like being in control, it strokes our fragile male egos.
    That and society for some reason makes virginity out to be this golden valuable thing, almost as if you're claiming a prize. And who doesn't like winning a prize? :)

    Darkfox, I'm already wondering how I'm going to react when my 8 month old daughter grows up to be a sexually active young woman. Hopefully I can respond with love and support and she does it for the right reasons, with someone who loves and respects her. If not, I'll probably have to break the guy's knees.
     
  16. Unraveller

    Unraveller <a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><

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    When my daughter was born my father-in-law bought me a sword. All he said was, "For when boys start coming around..." This is the man I had to fly half way around the world to tell I was living with his daughter, when I knew he had a gun and the power to call in 'elite' officers and use 'interrogation techniques'. (For anyone who's puzzled he's a very senior police officer in China)
     
  17. ~Elladan~

    ~Elladan~ A Elbereth Gilthoniel

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    What are you supposed to do with the sword?

    Knight them or skewer them with it? :D
     
  18. darkfox

    darkfox New Member

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    I thought I would be fine with it. But the guy is such a loser. He's high everytime I see him, he works at Wal Mart....she's in University studying to be an accountant. He's hit his high and is dragging hers down. Her Dad and I sit there with our mouths shut when he's around. Or we talk to each other in French...but she understands it so sometimes we get yelled at.
     
  19. Normf

    Normf Death 'n' Roll

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    This is why i never wish to have a daughter... If i ever have kids at all.
     
  20. Jet

    Jet I Improvised

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    Agreed.
     
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