How old is too young?

Discussion in 'Every Day Debating' started by imagine99, Jul 24, 2005.

  1. imagine99

    imagine99 Fia, the kind fencer

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    Alright. I know a couple people that lost their virginity at 13, one who was pregnant at 14, and one who possibly lost their virginity at 11. To me, these are all very young ages... what age do you think is old enough to start having sex?
     
  2. AcrobaticHippo

    AcrobaticHippo Determined

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    I agree with you, it's really too early to start having sex at the ages you just mentioned. I personally think it's best to wait till marriage, but since that's impossible to follow for many people, I think it'd be ideal to start having sex only after one lands a job and is financially stable. Teenagers, no matter how mature they are, will face alot of troubles if the condom breaks and the girl gets pregnant, etc (come to think of it, would responsible teenagers start in high school?) College students are't safe either, a few months ago a university student over here in Singapore was in the news for trying to dispose of her foetus. This is one of the problems many teenagers might face if they start having sex so early, and they'd either have to abort or provide for the baby (abortion has affected many teenage girls greatly), which is a really hard job considering the fact that they would not have decent education and a steady income.

    I guess it's okay once the person has completed his/her education (minimum high school) and does not intend to go any further in terms of education.
     
  3. Adina

    Adina <img src=http://www.thefantasyforum.com/images/nub

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    In Australia, you need to be 16 to consent. I think 18 would be an ideal age to begin, although people vary constantly.
    Before the ages of 15, there's no way that these 'children' could understand the consequences of their actions. While abortion is also legal here, it's far from ideal. Not only can you be scarred emotionally for life, there are physical dangers in doing so.
    I would assume that the majority of women falling pregnant below the age of 17 abort the child, or carry through with it alone.
    This is why I believe waiting would be ideal. I had my daughter at late 21 and I believe that was far too early to start raising children.
     
  4. The Empress

    The Empress Solitude and Strength...

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    I too had my first at 21 and agree that it is too early to start raising children. I also agree with the factoring of emotional and physical problems of abortion. The only option that I do tend to agree with is adoption, but that is a huge emotional issue that lasts your whole life from everything I have read about it. I do think it is best for women to wait as long as they can...ideally financial security and stability are what most if not all women want anyway. Go for the long term goals and reach for the stars, girls would be so much happier in that aspect than accidentally throwing it all away in the heat of the moment.
     
  5. Nynaeve

    Nynaeve <a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><

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    I had my daughter when I was 21 too. We should start a club, lol.

    I think that is is best to wait too. My sister is 15, and dating and kissing boys. It scares the crap out of me. I was 16 when I started dating my first boyfriend, and looking back, I was way too young. When you are that age, you think you are really adult and able to handle it, but you really are not. I knew someone who had a abortion, and she is never going to have kids again from complications, and it devestated her. One of my good friends was pregnant in her senior year, and had the baby, and last I heard she was doing fine.

    Anyway, 11 is WAY, WAY too young, wait until you are are older, it's best for you in the long run.
     
  6. Skyanide

    Skyanide The Big Meanie Staff Member

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    ^^^Late bloomers **snickers**^^^

    :D
     
  7. imagine99

    imagine99 Fia, the kind fencer

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    Both my parents had to drop out of highschool to raise my brother, and it wasn't even my dad's child... but, that's a different story...

    Anyway, yes. The abortion could have devastating effects on the mothers. Here, I believe 16 is the legal age also, but that doesn't stop people. They say that it's their life, and they'll live it the way they want to. It's hard to argue with that without sounding controlling and mean. I care about my friemds, but they won't stop just because I say so. I tried.

    As for the eleven year old, she doesn't really know if it actually did happen. She can't remember, alcahol was involved. Again, that's a different story.

    I believe the absolute youngest should be 17. And that's IF both people are willing and able to raise a child, just in case.
     
  8. The Empress

    The Empress Solitude and Strength...

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    Ooooh...that would be fun! What would we call it? lol
     
  9. Wisconsin

    Wisconsin Art House Member

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    I refuse to have sex until I am married, and I hope that the person I marry will be a virgin as well. I also think that dating, even in High School it pointless. I will probably wait until college before I even begin to date.
     
  10. AcrobaticHippo

    AcrobaticHippo Determined

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    *applause*
     
  11. Mububban

    Mububban Administrator Staff Member

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    Good luck with both of those. No sarcasm there, but if you can stay true to your goals, and if you can find a partner who has the same beliefs as you, you'll be a very lucky person.


    Dating in high school and college gives you valuable life experience. Very few people find true love with their first relationship. It unfortunately takes a few goes to weed out the good from the bad. What you're willing to accept and what you will not accept udner any circumstances. The more you see, the clearer it becomes what exactly you are looking for. All the few girls I've been with have been basically - nice, smart, funny, pretty etc, all the thigns you'd wish for. But all my ex-es also had major quirks or incompatible personality traits that made us break up.

    Now at the ripe old age of 26, I'm with a girl I really want to be with forever. Neither of us are perfect, but the previous relationships we've both had have given us perspective on what we can live with, and what we can't. And there is no substitute for actual real life relationship experience. So not dating until after college or whenever could really set you back in finding "the one."
     
  12. Mububban

    Mububban Administrator Staff Member

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    As for how young is too you to have sex....I dunno. 11 is way too young by anyone's standards. 13 and 14 is still too young in my opinion.

    Among my group of friends, the first to have sex were both 14. Then 15 (with a 21 year old guy!), a couple both at 16, 17, 18, and one poor bastad who's my age and still a virgin!
    So we've had a big range of ages, and when we were all 14 and found out that they'd had sex, apart from the natural curiosity and 20 questions we gave them both, I thought it was too young to get started for them both.

    Seeing as most people don't wait until marriage to have sex, I'd hope most kids would wait until at least 16 to have sex. It's still young, but I don't think 18 is a magic number when you mentally become an adult and everything becomes clear.

    Most kids want to have sex. Virginity is not something they want to keep. They're curious, full of hormones, and they don't want to be the last one in their peer group to "do it." But I'd hope that they'd only be having sex with someone they're dating and not just someone they hooked up with at a party while drunk.
     
  13. Skyanide

    Skyanide The Big Meanie Staff Member

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    Poor you. Most sex ends after marriage. You may never know how good you could have been. :D

    I'm just kidding, Indy.

    However, how important is it that your prospective spouse is a virgin?

    Take it for what it's worth -- there are more important criteria to select a mate by, than whether they've had sex or not.
     
  14. Liadan

    Liadan Insert Title Here

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    Not me... ;) But really, you should be at least 17/18 and FULLY AWARE of the possible consequences. Someone I know had sex by the time he was 15/16, and now has herpes. He probably passed on the disease to other people as well before finding out that he had herpes 4-5 years later.

    STDs aren't the only thing to be cautious of: children are as well. I'm firmly against abortion except in rape cases or when both mother and child are in risk, but there is NO way that you can financially OR emotionally support children at the age of 18. Where I live (Tucson, Arizona, USA), there are lots of people having sex in high school/middle school, and pregnant in high school as well. Tucson's reportedly one of the worst cities for teenage sex and pregnancies. I know people through my brother who have children, and leave them with their parents so they can go to parties. Quite apart from moral considerations, you helped create a being that has no way of protecting or supproting itself: that's the parent's job. And you can't be a parent unless you're financially independent.

    So just be cautious. 17/18 might be a nice number, but you are not suddenly going to grow up at 18 and become an "adult" on your birthday. Maturity is gained by long years and experience, and I believe that you need maturity to become a responsible adult, and you should be a responsible adult to have sex.

    Just a teenager's two cents' worth.
     
  15. Adina

    Adina <img src=http://www.thefantasyforum.com/images/nub

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    Sorry LDH but I have to disagree. There are those among us who have what it takes to do a great job at an early age. I have a friend who is the same age as I am (22) who has 3 children. She is possibly the best mother one could wish to have in so many aspects.
    While I still believe it would be beneficial to wait until your senior years at least to begin having sex, I realise the likelihood of this happening is slim. Most teenagers will get it where they can for the exact reasons Sky mentioned previously.
    I don't think we should, however, be ignorant to the fact that some of these 'teenagers' have the perfect ideals for raising children even if at a young age.
     
  16. Turambar

    Turambar Harebrained Staff Member

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    You have got to acknowledge the one danger that clings to this - rushing into marriage. Too often I have seen people making this vow (mostly to the Bible) and find themselves at the altar too soon. Peesonally I think that a sexless relationship is amongst the most beautifull - proving to each other that sex isn't a goal or necessity to enjoy a healthy relationship. However, if the both of you crave for sex (with each other) - that's when you step into the danger zone. Would you marry in order to be able to have sex? You really have to ask yourself what's worse; having sex before marriage or marrying in order to have sex...

    Also, please note that there are two means of falling in love - finding love when you look for it and finding love out of the blue. The first of the two is up for everyone's choice. If you desire love it's the way to go, but there's no one forcing you to... However, you can just fall in love with someone you meet, let's call it unintentionally. Anyway, it happens, aannnd... I'd suggest not shying away from it because you feel not ready for love age wise. But that will make sense in due time ;)

    And yeah... what exactly is too young? If you have to concider the possibility to get pregnant, I'd say 16. Not that I can imagine anyone who has sex in order to get one before the age of 18 anyway. However, I think that one or two years younger would do if you are neglecting that risk. Luckily there are always plenty of chances to abort. I live in a country where the morning after pill is over the counter, even though I must say that I think it's the responsibility of the younglings to do it extra safe, in order not to get in trouble.

    However, having said all this, we can't do anything about it anyway. We can't stop teenies having sex in their early years. I think we can better educate them - talking about the risks and suggesting them to practise safe sex - then forbidding the act all together. The latter won't stop the little ones anyway and might even encourage them to try...
     
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2005
  17. Liadan

    Liadan Insert Title Here

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    Hmm, maybe, but what about financially? And your friend is probably the exception to the rule, but I've noticed that 18-year-olds are not stable mentally or emotionally, and are still in the process of growing up. How can you help someone grow up while you yourself still aren't mature?

    And as for financially... well, I just think that you shouldn't have kids until you can support them with your own money (or your husband's), and not off your parents.
     
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2005
  18. Adina

    Adina <img src=http://www.thefantasyforum.com/images/nub

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    You may be right there. As far as finacial goes, her and her husband we both stable and have continued rasing their children no problems.

    I completely agree.
     
  19. Liadan

    Liadan Insert Title Here

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    Then I'll just wish her good luck in not strangling her kids when they reach their teen years. ;)
     
  20. Nynaeve

    Nynaeve <a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><

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    Teen years?? I want to strangle my daughter now, and she's two!! :eek:
     
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