Discussion in 'Joke Board' started by Arwen, Aug 11, 2003.
Not enough little rolly-eyed guys in the world to discuss that comment.
JK, relaxe, he's an elephant, not a grape jk again
I think that if to laugh at that you have to have a negative IQ then I must too and I am "special" too YAY!
A man was in Israel on vacation with his mother in law. During the trip she dies (terrorists, old age, what have you). So the body goes to the local morgue.
The Mortician there tells the man, "Now, we can bury her body here in Israel for only $75. But to fly her back from here to the USA will cost $5000."
The man thinks about it for about 5 seconds and says, "I'll pay the $5000."
"Wow," the mortician replies, "I have never seen a man who loves his mother in law so much."
"Oh, actually I despise her."
Puzzled, the mortician asks, "Then why are you sending her back to the US?"
"Well, it seems a while back there was another man who died here in Israel, but a few days after he was buried he came back to life. I can't take that chance!"
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk.
Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it, Sweetie?"
MAN: "Sure, ...go ahead if you like it that much. I want you to be happy."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2003 models. I saw one I really liked. It's a beautiful silver."
MAN: "How much?"
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and just one more thing....the house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
MAN: "Wow, then go ahead and make them an offer, but just offer $895,000."
WOMAN: "OK. Thank you, Darling - you're wonderful! I'll see you later! I love you!"
MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.
Then he asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
lo good one!
I've got one too!
once upon a time there was tarzan.. He had to fight the lion king to show who was the real king of the jungle... He won! but with a heavy price... He lost an eye, an arm, his clothes and his precious tool.. you know.... THE tool... So all his cute and cuddly friend came to heal him... They hadded animal parts to help tarzan.. they hadded an gorrila arm, an eagle eye and a elephant's trump... for you know what... So tarzan got up and went back home.. where jane was waiting for him...
Jane::What happen? when? where? etcetc
Tarzan: I fought the lion king and I won..but...
Tarzan: I now have the strength of a gorrila.. the sight of an eagle..but I lost.. me tool....But My friends gave me another...
Tarzan: Well they gave me an elephant trump... And I don't like it.. I keep stuffing my @$$ with peanuts....
You shouldn't post that in a G-rated thread.
At least you got the dumb part right....
oh..ok.. I,ll post the next one there then!
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