fragments

Discussion in 'Fan Poetry' started by Tamago, May 18, 2018.

  1. Tamago

    Tamago Lord-Commander of Anakin's Kingsguard

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    It's too much to say I write poetry lol. So I'll call them fragments, words, verses, whatever you like. I usually post them on my blog, but I'll share some here :) Those I write in English, that is.

    Mention: they are personal. In what sense? Well, what I mean is that they don't necessarily entail anything profound, they are written when I have a certain state of mind, they are not necessarily 'inspired' by my own feelings, experiences, relationships or the such. Just thoughts that cross my mind and I feel like writing down. That sort of thing. Nothing impressive.

    Last one I wrote (May 8th)

    black ink

    one thousand years of solitude

    won’t bring you back

    that smile you never encountered

    but of which you’ve dreamt a thousand times.



    Soseki talks of a girl with black hair

    for him the translation is simple

    Konya wa tsuki ga kirei desu ne

    is the truth the poet and lover can never go by

    Your truth alone remains in Sempere

    that books are alive and stories are told

    and that way every each of us is immortal



    the smile you need is on a blank page

    it curls up its lips as you fill it with black ink.

    (I wonder if it's okay if I also leave a link to the thingy on my blog? well here it is: black ink | de vorbă cu sine
    there's this art my Ikenaga Yasunari that I attached to the post and I really like it.)
     
  2. TirelessSeven

    TirelessSeven Active Member

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    I really like this. The way you capture the dichotomy between the ephemeral aspect of beauty (the girl) and the eternal (the words), is the real stand-out here, for me. It speaks of longing and loss, but finishes on a real note of optimism and reverence.
    I may be missing something, as most of the references passed me by (I even had to google Sempere), but it didn't detract from my enjoyment as a reader, at all.
    I think the artwork on your blog sits well with it too.
    Don't have any critique to offer - this is good.
     
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  3. Tamago

    Tamago Lord-Commander of Anakin's Kingsguard

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    Thank you for your feedback and for taking the time to read&reply! I don’t see myself as a o poet or anything of the sort, but the “verses” that I do write mean very much to me. It’s very fulfilling to hear someone appreciating it. thanks!
     
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