feedback

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by trazzberry1, Jun 23, 2010.

  1. trazzberry1

    trazzberry1 New Member

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    Alright so I'm working on a fantasy book, but most of the people I know aren't knowledgeable about fantasy literature and I don't really trust their feedback. Anyway, I attached a copy of the first 5 chapters (just a teaser, really) and I was hoping that maybe someone on here could help me out with their opinions, although if you do think it's bad I'd like to know why instead of you just telling me it sucks. Also, I drew a map of the continent by hand and haven't scanned it to my computer yet so I'll probably post that on this thread sometime in the future. As a side note: I do not have a name for the book and the file name is just the name of the first chapter because I needed a file name and that's just what I chose. Thanks
     

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  2. Reece56364

    Reece56364 Guest

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    Wow..56 pages is a lot...

    Sorry, i only read the first page... I dont enjoy reading things from the computer... It seems really good so far though :D
     
  3. Druid of Lûhn

    Druid of Lûhn The Little Lamb.

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    Ok, just downloaded it to my computer. I'll read it and comment, though I may not be the best seeing as I'm probably younger than you - though have read more books than a lot of adults.

    @Reece: If in total it is 364 pages, do you think that your name is a sign?
     
  4. Reece56364

    Reece56364 Guest

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    Just out of curiosity druid, how old are you? :D

    And it could indeed.. But i know its 56, cause i downloaded it :p haha
     
  5. Druid of Lûhn

    Druid of Lûhn The Little Lamb.

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    Well if you hadn't, how would you have read it?

    Too young to be a Druid, yet old enough to be wise, older than the double of (the first) perfect (number), but by only one year...
    That is 6x2+1

    Some say I've read more books than have been written, some say I can run a marathon in under an hour. All I know is... I'm 14 - 15 on the 6th of August.
     
  6. trazzberry1

    trazzberry1 New Member

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    @reese- Thanks for reading any of it haha... and I'm glad you liked the first page. it gets better I promise.
    @druid- I'm not too worried about how old you are, I'm only 17 myself.
     
  7. rosa

    rosa New Member

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    Just finished reading chapter 2

    I am really surprised by how well you describe fights, you really know what you are doing. Your narrative is interesting and easy to follow. ( i appreciate that. )
    At this point, i havent realy get to understand how come Wraith and Ke'ino became friends...i mean, so far, to me, it seems as if it only happend of pure boredom and because they where bouth there whit nothing else to do. I dont know if that was your intention or not. ( just commenting)

    I like it, and i will continue reading. So it seems good so far.
    Congratulations on the good beginning.
    =D
     
  8. trazzberry1

    trazzberry1 New Member

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    Thanks! I'm really glad you liked it and I'm glad you offered your thoughts. I hadn't even really thought about expanding on WHY they connected so your advice was really helpful. I've kinda run into a little problem with writer's block although it's not too bad, so any feedback helps. I'm really happy you like it, i may post the next five chapters when they are done :D
     
  9. Druid of Lûhn

    Druid of Lûhn The Little Lamb.

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    I have nothing better to do today, so I will read quite a lot of what I have of it.
    Looking forward to it with all this good feedback.
     
  10. trazzberry1

    trazzberry1 New Member

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    looking forward to your feedback :)
    at least i think i am.......
     
  11. Druid of Lûhn

    Druid of Lûhn The Little Lamb.

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    I really like it, though your characters are a little too perfect and some of the guards in the fight seemed to have diappeared, as with the two iron bars that Ke'imo had.
    BTW, is it pronouced keh eemoe? or keh eemoh? or something else?
     
  12. trazzberry1

    trazzberry1 New Member

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    kay-eenoh. it's spelled ke'ino with an "n". i've been trying to round the characters out a little bit because i've been getting feedback like that a good bit. thanks for pointing out the thing with the bars, i hadn't even thought about them :). I'm really glad you like it and thanks for the critique :D
     
  13. Druid of Lûhn

    Druid of Lûhn The Little Lamb.

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    If you want to know how far I got, I finished the second chapter, and am avidly trying to find a time to continue.
     
  14. Reece56364

    Reece56364 Guest

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    Disappeared
    :D
     
  15. trazzberry1

    trazzberry1 New Member

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    basically my plan is to get through chapter 10 rough and then thoroughly edit the first ten, then rinse and repeat until the book is done. the critique i've been getting as a result of this forum is more or less the most helpful thing ever.
    @ druid- i'm glad you seem to have enjoyed the first two chapters. as of right now chapter 6 is the best one but you do not have access to it because i only released the first five chapters mwahaha! :banana:
     
  16. mysteriousuniqueen

    mysteriousuniqueen Myst for short

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    i'd like to give my opinion but this stupid pc won't let me view the file you have, trazzberry. sorry.
     
  17. trazzberry1

    trazzberry1 New Member

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    :(
     
  18. trazzberry1

    trazzberry1 New Member

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    Update: i have the next five chapters done, let me know if you want to read them and i'll put them up
     
  19. rosa

    rosa New Member

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    i would like to read them, if it is alrigth... have you done changes to the first part?
     
  20. trazzberry1

    trazzberry1 New Member

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    i'm in the throes of editing the first chapters, i'll have them done by tomorrow and then i'll post everything :)